Chapter 39
thirty-nine
HANNAH
“Okay, Hannah,” the nurse announced briskly, “this won’t hurt. Just a small prick on the end of your finger.”
The woman’s bedside manner left little to be desired. Of course, Hannah’s expectations were low, having lived through the nightmare of a waiting room in the shitty medical clinic she’d found online. They accepted uninsured patients as long as they paid with cash up front.
She’d come down with something the evening after she’d spied Mirren’s sister at the pub, which meant she hadn’t felt well enough to pay the girl’s attic workshop a visit while she was out of town. A perfect opportunity ruined.
And the voices hadn’t let up once about her inadequacies since.
Why would we? As if you weren’t disgusting enough, you went and got swollen balls over your neck and surrounding your fat, filthy minge.
Hannah winced at the vulgar image. It was true, though. She thought it was just a cold until her lymph nodes in her neck and groin area popped up. Still… “It could still be just a cold,” she mumbled.
The nurse, thinking Hannah was speaking to her, said: “One would think, except for the number of swollen lymph nodes combined with a fever, stomach rash, and oral thrush.”
“Yes, but—” Hannah began to downplay the current situation when the nurse interrupted.
“You’ve admitted to unprotected sex. I know you’re frightened, but you need to prepare yourself for the possibility of a positive HIV test.”
Swallowing a moan of sickened dread, the nurse took that moment to prick her finger. The small sting created a well of blood to pool.
“This is a simple, rapid test. I’ll let you know the results within twenty to thirty minutes.” She opened the door with a “Sit tight” thrown over her shoulder.
Hannah sighed and leaned her back against the plastic chair’s back. This was an absolute nightmare. She only had a few loose ends to tie up after she made Mirren’s little sister pay, which would be way worse than if she’d done something to Mirren personally.
She was supposed to work on gathering more funds and finding a sunny beach somewhere to live out the rest of her life.
HIV positive—the insult of it all.
I bet it was that unfortunate time you blew that homeless drug addict while his equally disgusting back-alley buddy took your back hole.
If only you could have seen how pathetic you looked, screaming in pain around the man’s filthy dick.
We made you stay still.
Froze your body like a broken elevator.
I bet your ass blood and his spit were the perfect HIV incubator, wasn’t it slut?
Did you know that happened—that someone took you there?
Hannah clenched her jaw and kept her eyes closed. Appearing weak would not help her cause. Of course, she’d known that she’d been hurt. She’d been sore for days, which was probably when her body had enjoyed incubating the disease—if that’s what she had.
Her health was in the shitter. Add her current problem to the already declining state of her body, and her diminishing funds…she was well and truly fucked. Her family would jump ship if she faltered worse than she already had.
She needed to prove that she still had something they found amusing or worth their time. Violence and blood would prevail.
As the Americans so liked to shout from the tallest building, “Fuck around and find out.” The voices would find out she still was worth their time. Hannah Todd or Hannah Keels, rather, still had some life left in her.
The nurse breezed in holding a piece of paper. “Test results are positive, I’m afraid.”
Fuck my life.
Fuck our lives.
Fuck this diseased bitch.
“I’m not done yet,” she whispered.