Chapter 5
five
BéBHINN
Well, not Blair. That girl would internalize her feelings until she exploded.
Bébhinn and her friends called each other on their crap, but they also knew when to pull back.
They all went to Trinity and lived together—moods could get volatile quickly, which was why she didn’t message Blair, and was the reason her best friends finally relented and stopped trying to talk her out of this trip.
Smiling, she knew that Mags would only last a day, two at the most, before she nosed into Blair’s feelings. By the time Bébhinn got home, all would be squared away.
She’d wanted to say goodbye to her family last night and avoid doing so this morning, arguing that it would be too early to make everyone see her off.
Her suggestion was ignored. It wrung her out emotionally to walk into the O’Faolain Building, as the family called the gorgeous, remodeled, four-story monster in downtown Dublin that Dad and her brothers had remodeled for the six of them to live in and raise their children.
It sat next door to Triskelion Territory Designs, where all three of their wives happened to work.
Bébhinn tried to hide her flinch when she walked through the front door, still expecting to see her father leaning against the bar, waiting with his typical stern expression. He’d always had a smile for Mom and her, though.
That missing smile felt like a phantom limb. Painful.
Mom, her aunts, Bran, and Patrick were waiting inside the door. Bébhinn should have known it wouldn’t be only her mother seeing her off. One would think she was leaving the continent for a year, not a nine-to-ten-day hike in Wales.
Bran and Pat explained how to message Mom on the sat phone, ending the class with bear hugs.
“I’ll miss you, sister,” Patrick admitted, while smashing her face into his chest and patting her back hard enough to rattle her teeth.
Bébhinn didn’t complain, all too aware how lucky she was. Bran pulled her into his arms next, performing an almost identical smash and pat.
“See you soon.” Bran cleared his throat but didn’t say another word, fighting his emotions.
Patrick announced, “We’ll leave you ladies to it. Bran and I have a conference call with our financial team in thirty.”
As soon as the men started jogging up the stairs, Raven gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I won’t maul you like your brothers,” she laughed. “Have so much fun, Bébhinn. Take pictures so we can enjoy them once you’re home.”
“I have a great waist pack to hold my phone for easy access. There should be some spectacular views on the mountain trail I’m taking.”
River bussed her cheek loudly and gave a quick squeeze. “Have fun. Love you. Remember to bury your poop.”
Raven gagged. “You’re disgusting, Riv. It’s way too early for that…crap.”
Her aunts and even Mom snickered at Raven’s joke. Bébhinn shook her head at their antics, turning to her mom. One last goodbye, and she could finally hit the road.
“Alright, Mom, I’d best get going.” Bébhinn tried to ignore how quiet her mom was since Dad passed. Normally, she would have been ribbing her family and telling jokes. Dirty jokes used to be Rowan O’Faolain’s forte.
She was getting better but hadn’t quite found her footing, where she stood, without her husband. Before Bébhinn had lost her father, she couldn’t have imagined how the death of a loved one impacted the ones left behind.
She didn’t have to imagine anything now. It was a cruel lesson.
Mom wrapped her arms around Bébhinn’s waist and held tight for several seconds before leaning back. The smallest of smiles lifted her lips.
“Have fun, sweet girl. Since you’re so brave, I’ve decided that it’s time I was again, too. Raven and River are going to help me pack up Dad’s things while you’re gone. I might even redecorate. Perhaps you might consider,” Mom hesitated once more, “visiting the fourth floor again once you’re back.”
Bébhinn was sufficiently stunned to make her momentarily speechless. Mom’s news was huge. It also made her feel like a selfish brat that her mom knew she had been avoiding their flat since her dad’s death.
Rolling her lips in, she took a moment to compose herself before nodding. “I’m proud of you, Mom. Of course, I’ll come over. It’ll be my first stop when I get back.”
“I should have already packed some things away,” Mom whispered.
Bébhinn clasped her mom’s hands. “No, you shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have pushed. You are doing exactly what works for you, when it works for you. I just… I wanted to get past my pain and thought if you were strong enough to try, then surely, I could.”
Mom brought their hands to her mouth and kissed their entwined fingers. “The truth is, Hugh, your dad,” her voice wobbled, “would kick both our asses if he saw how miserable we’ve been. It would hurt him to see us like this, and neither of us would want to hurt him even now.”
“He would be pissed,” Bébhinn agreed, a slight hiccup marring her words.
Raven and River placed hands on their sister’s arm and Bébhinn’s, tears in their eyes but smiles on their faces.
“Get out of here, niece,” River bumped her side with an elbow. “We’ve got things covered here.”
“Yes, baby, go,” Mom urged. “Have the time of your life, pooping in dirt toilets and wiping with leaves. Text me updates when you have service.”
That was hours before, and Bébhinn had used the ferry ride to give herself time to go over the trail route one more time. It was the one she and her dad had mapped out last year. There were several places where the Snowdonia Way trail’s lower-level and mountain routes connected.
She subscribed to a hiking trail app to download all her trails before she hiked them. So, even without the internet, the routes were saved in her cell. This app even allowed for customization of trails, which she’d taken advantage of.
For the first time in six months, she could smile, knowing Dad was proud of her for sticking to the plan.
After talking to her mother earlier, she felt lighter and more determined to enjoy the hell out of the hike.
She unpacked and packed her backpack one last time, memorizing where every item rested: insulated tarp, ponytail holders, wide-billed bucket hat and poncho for when the rain hit—and it would—thermal sheet, mini, collapsible lantern, water purifier cup, MREs and protein bars, toothbrush and paste, body wipes and deodorant, extra panties—she could only rough it so far—a compass, and a backup print-off of the route, bunkhouses and resupply stations highlighted.
Most importantly, the Benchmade Bugout knife her dad had customized especially for her.
She would keep the gift zipped safe in the front of her hiking cargo pants.
It would take almost two hours to drive to Machynlleth, where she would stay the night at a B&B before starting out at first light. She was so ready.
She briefly tapped the front of the envelope containing Dad’s letter, praying she didn’t chicken out and would finally read the damn thing.
Pushing the letter aside, not wanting to psych herself out, she pulled out the itinerary she’d be leaving at the park office, which showed her route, sleeping arrangements, and supply stops.
She would be passing through several small villages where she could catch a bath, bed, and breakfast if she stayed on schedule.
Her start and finish points, and the telephone number of the transport company that would take her back to her Jeep… Everything was in order—just as it had been for weeks.
This was the biggest hike she’d attempted, which caused an extra layer of stress. The mountains would test her both physically and mentally. She and Dad had been training for this hike for months before his helicopter crash.
Her small five-foot-three stature was a benefit in some conditions and a hindrance in others.
Hugh O’Faolain didn’t do anything by halves, though.
They’d gone to a few survival classes and even a survival boot camp in the States where they had to eat off the land or they didn’t eat for a week.
It had been an epic adventure all on its own.
That had been the last adventure she’d taken with her father. “Be thankful you had even that,” she chided herself, shaking her head in exasperation.
When the bell chimed, announcing their arrival at the Holyhead ferry landing in Wales, she tucked the last of the gear away. Her excitement and a healthy dose of fear cramped her stomach until she stood and took several deep breaths.
Everything now would be studying her route for the one thousandth time, a high-protein dinner, and hopefully several hours of uninterrupted sleep. Once she handed over her paperwork to the park office, it would be a waiting game until sunrise.
She was about to step into the queue of bodies heading back to their vehicles when she felt her phone buzz in her front thigh zipper pocket. Mom.
“Hello, Mom, what’s up? I’ve just landed at Holyhead.”
“Oh my God, Bébhinn,” Mom started breathlessly, instantly spiking Bébhinn’s heart rate.
Freezing near the back of the line, she held the phone close to her ear to drown out the noises of the ferry. “What’s happened?”
Her mom must have heard the beginning of panic in her voice, because she quickly added, “No, no, sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just found your sat phone on the bench by the front door. I feel terrible!”
Bébhinn’s breath whooshed out in relief. “Oh shoot, I set it down when we said goodbye, and I forgot to pick it back up. Great,” she chuckled, “Bran and Pat will give me a good chewing when I get home. I even went through my pack on the ferry and didn’t remember that I should have had it.”
“Is there any way to get it to you before you set out?”
“No. My schedule is completely planned. Waiting would require me to reschedule everything, including where I sleep, food supply, and transport. I would have to cancel. I’m sorry, Mom, but no way.
“I figured. Damn. Your ass isn’t the only one your brothers will chew on.” Mom was quiet for a minute as Bébhinn moved closer to her Jeep.
“I do have my small Garmin. We didn’t set it up for you, but I’ll send you the app as soon as I’m off the ferry.
You need to remember that there is always a chance that I lose the Garmin, or drop it in a crevasse, or a fox trots off with it while I’m peeing behind a tree.
Promise you won’t freak out. Give me my allotted time before you call for a military rescue. ”
“I’m glad you at least have that. I feel relieved. I won’t promise to not freak out, but I will hold off on a search and rescue unless you’re five minutes past your pickup time,” Mom added, amusement in her voice, which made Bébhinn smile.
“Maybe you could hide the…evidence,” she suggested. “What my brothers don’t know won’t hurt them.”
Mom snorted. “Your brother-uncles probably have my damn phone tracked and will know if I don’t receive any calls. Plus, you know I can’t keep anything from Raven and River, and they can’t keep anything from their husbands. We’ll face their wrath together. No worries.”
It was nice to hear a little bit of laughter in her mom’s voice. “I’ve got this, Mom. I’m ready. Dad made sure of it.”