Chapter 16
An hour later, Lucy tiptoed into the house, closing the door silently behind her. As tired as she felt, she enjoyed these quiet morning hours before the hustle and bustle of the day began. It was nearly five in the morning; trying to sleep at this point would be useless.
Today would be a ‘multiple cups of coffee’ kind of day. Flipping on the machine, she refilled the water reserve and snapped it back in place. Opening the small drawer under the machine, she selected a pod and dropped it in place. Choosing a dark blue coffee cup from the drying rack, she placed it under the spout and pressed the start button.
As the coffee machine cranked to life, so did her mind, thoughts bubbling and tumbling over one another. There was no doubt the sex had been fantastic, but the ride home brought every doubt and wishful thought to the surface. Her body was satisfied, but she felt emotionally drained, not the feeling she had hoped for after a few hours with Aidan.
She was her own worst enemy, believing a few nights of sex would be enough to fulfill her. There was something about Aidan that made her keep coming back for more, and, if she was honest, it was deeper than sex. The more time they spent together, the more difficult being away from him was.
Casual was turning out to be a bad idea; she should have stuck with her original plan and avoided him altogether. Easier said than done. A case in point was how she raced out in the dead of the night, rushing to him simply because he phoned her. He hadn’t asked her to come over, but did he know that call would make her drop everything to be with him?
Plan and simple, he booty called her, and it worked. He didn’t miss her; he missed an easy hook-up. No matter which way she looked at it, the truth was all he had wanted was sex, and he knew just what to say to get it. Damn, this stupid heart and overactive brain. He occupied her thoughts night and day, but was she taking up any real estate in his mind?
After preparing the coffee just as she liked it, she crept upstairs toward her room, hoping not to wake anyone. Taking a sip of coffee, she opened the door to her room. The bed sheets were tossed back and wrinkled, and an empty wine glass still sat on the nightstand; both reminders of her rush out the door a few hours earlier.
She shimmied the skirt down her thighs, grazing the smooth skin with her thumbs. Memories welled in her mind, the surprised, yet dark, expression on Aidan’s face when he realized her butt was bare under the flowing skirt. Desire surged through her as she pulled the sweater over her head, replaying the scene of Aidan groping and kissing her exposed breasts. These thoughts were not going to help get her through the day.
The lukewarm shower did nothing to cool the heatwave burning through her veins. Running soap over her body further fueled an out-of-control fire, reminding her of hands gliding over her skin. He knew every curve of her body and each sensitive spot that sent her over the edge. A new wave of desire washed over her, and she swallowed hard as the bar of soap rubbed lightly against her nipples.
Oh no. This line of thinking needed to stop. She was not going to pleasure herself in the shower, at least not today. Replacing the soap in its holder, she turned the tap until ice-cold water poured onto her head. Holding back a yelp, she stood under the freezing stream until her mind forgot Aidan, and the pulsing between her legs stopped. When, at last, her only thoughts were getting dry, dressed, and warm, she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.
Wrapping the towel around her, she focused on work and her to-do list. By the time she dressed in fresh panties and jeans, she had a complete list of tasks ready to tackle. She slipped last night’s sweater over her head, enjoying its warmth and the cozy feeling it always gave her, fighting to ignore the faint scent of Aidan’s place lingering in the wool.
Polishing off the last drops of coffee, she felt ready to take on the day. She gathered her dirty laundry, preparing to make the day full and productive, and returned to the kitchen.
As she waited for her second cup of coffee to brew, she took her laundry into the small utility closet off the kitchen. Abbey told her their laundry room was small by American standards but quite large by Irish ones. They also had the luxury of owning a clothes dryer, which was surprisingly not the norm in this country. Lucy couldn’t imagine hanging wet clothes outside on the line; it seemed archaic and outdated, like something her grandmother used to do. Even more odd, some families strung their clothes across the radiators around the house. Lucy could imagine the number of socks she would lose behind the radiator or forgetting about a shirt she hung on a rarely used radiator somewhere in the depths of the house.
Back in the kitchen, Lucy set her laptop on the island countertop and waited for it to power on. With her coffee in hand, she fired up the computer and began working through her emails. Nothing required immediate attention, so she filled a glass with water and moved her workstation to the kitchen table, settling in for the morning.
“Working already?” Abbey asked mid-yawn as she padded into the kitchen. “You and Rob just can’t get enough of your jobs.”
Lucy did not miss the tinge of resentment oozing in Abbey’s statement.
“Need a top-up?” Abbey asked, rummaging through the drying rack for a cup.
Lucy lifted her mug toward her sister. “This one is still full.”
“How long have you been up?”
“Not long enough for my hair to dry,” Lucy said, sipping her coffee. “I’ve had some problems sleeping.”
Abbey placed her mug under the spout and fired up the coffee machine. “You’re working too hard.” As the coffee brewed, she tackled the drying rack, stacking the plates and putting them back on the shelf. “It’s got to be nearly impossible to shut your mind off. You’re either in work mode or mom mode. At some point, you need a break, a chance to zone out.”
“That’s mom life for you.” Lucy deleted all her spam emails. She didn’t need Viagra or ads for Walmart; there wasn’t a Walmart in Ireland anyway. “You do it too, and you’re a super mom, way better than anything I do. Plus, you’re starting a business; I don’t know where you find time to lounge around.”
Abbey gave her a hurt look. “It’s not as if I’m laying around all day.”
“I didn’t say that you are,” Lucy said quickly. “It’s impressive you’re able to shut it off at night and take time for yourself. I need to take lessons from you.”
Abbey placed the clean cups back in the cupboard. “What can I say? I love my reality TV and sleep. I need at least an hour to settle down, calm the mind, and then I sleep like a baby.”
Lucy pushed back from the table. “I should help you. I’m at a good pausing point.”
Abbey shook her head. “It’s fine. You’re working, and I have a system.”
Lucy ignored her comment. “You’re working too. Let me at least help pack my child’s lunch.”
“If you insist. I toss in random food and hope they eat at least two or three things.”
Lucy laughed, pulling the lunchboxes from their place on the shelf. “Sounds good to me.”
“I do a fruit, a vegetable, a sandwich, and one or two extra things,” Abbey explained, pointing toward a shelf. “Everything there is lunch stuff. No crisps, sweets, or fizzy drinks are allowed in lunches.”
“Well, that would be my entire lunch out the window,” Lucy said. “I used to pack a bag of chips, a candy bar, and a sandwich I never ate. Maybe an apple when we were lucky enough to have fruit in the house.”
“You packed the same for me,” Abbey said. “Oh, that reminds me, no nuts.”
“No PB and J? How will they survive?”
Abbey opened the cutlery drawer and continued emptying the drying rack. “Meat or jam sandwiches?”
“That sounds too healthy,” Lucy teased.
Opening the fridge, she pulled out sliced ham and cheese in the drawer and set those on the counter. After retrieving the mayo and mustard, she began constructing the sandwiches.
“I don’t know if I ever said thank you,” Lucy said, slathering a layer of mayo on the slices of bread.
Abbey finished putting the dishes away and turned to her coffee. “For what?”
“Everything. Does Lola like mustard?”
Abbey swallowed her coffee. “Yes, mustard, ham, cheese, mayo. She’ll eat all of it.”
Lucy shook the mustard bottle and squirted a healthy amount on each sandwich. “Kaylee loves mustard, too. Anyway, back to thanking you. You were an enormous help, not only in getting us here but also in helping to make the transition smooth. I would never have gotten through all that paperwork without you. Plus, you gave us a place to stay, helped sort out school for Kaylee, and you take care of her as if she were your own daughter. We wouldn’t be doing half as well if not for you.”
Abbey shrugged. “It’s the least I can do. You sacrificed your childhood to raise me.”
It was Lucy’s turn to shrug. “It was worth it. By the way, how is the new business going? I know you’re still in the early stages, but I feel selfish not asking about it sooner.”
Lucy felt guilty and too consumed by Aidan to ask how her sister’s venture into the business world was going. To be fair, Abbey never brought up the business, seeming to be just as invested in Lucy’s love life as she was and pushing for every detail regarding Aidan. But Lucy knew how it felt to be in the caregiver role, always ensuring everyone else was okay and never being asked about her personal life. These were always one-sided relationships, with one person always giving and the other always taking. Lucy wanted to do better for Abbey. Her sister needed someone to share her successes with, especially since she and Rob appeared to be struggling.
Abbey moved to the counter, placing sliced carrots into plastic containers. “It’s a huge amount of work, but I know it will be worth it in the end. Maeve is the one with the vision and the drive. I’m just assisting and hoping she chose the right person to help her build this company.”
“And it’s a travel agency?” Lucy cringed inwardly, embarrassed not to have taken the time to understand the business plan.
“Sort of. It’s more about travel experiences,” Abbey explained, zipping up Lola’s lunch bag. “The vision is to create individualized packages full of experiences and adventures for each client. Depending on their needs, some packages will be more touristy, and others will be off-the-beaten-path adventures. We’ll also help with airfare and hotels along the way. I’ll focus on Ireland, and Maeve will use her connections with Spain and Italy. As we grow, we hope to branch out to Europe and eventually the U.S.”
“That sounds fun,” Lucy said, leaning against the counter. “I’m sorry I’ve been a little selfish lately. I’ve been wrapped up in my own crap, and I haven’t asked about you at all.”
“You’re asking now.” Abbey gave a small smile. “There isn’t much to share; it’s still early days and very research-heavy. I’m slowly compiling interesting places to visit and building a database. Once the weather clears up, I hope to get out in the field more to test some places for myself.”
Lucy rubbed her palms together. “Oh, I would love to trail along. So far, all I’ve seen of Ireland is Dublin, and there is an entire country for me to discover.”
Abbey placed the lunchboxes on the end of the counter as Lucy put items back into the fridge.
“It’s a massive transition to move to a new country. On top of that, you started a new job, earned a big promotion, worried about your daughter, dealt with heartbreak, and somehow you still have time for late-night booty calls.”
Lucy’s head snapped up. “What?”
Abbey tilted her head and gave her sister a sideways glance. “Come on. You’re sneaky, but not that sneaky. Have you looked in a mirror today or any day after claiming to work late? I know you love your job, but no one comes home from work with a silly, sex grin. And you, my dear sister, have that look on your face right now. You didn’t get up early this morning; you never went to sleep. And even though you claimed to cancel work last night, you still managed to sneak out for a hookup.”
Lucy dropped her head like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “How long have you known?”
“A few weeks,” Abbey said, pausing to sip her coffee. “My suspicion began when you stopped talking about Aidan. This was shortly after the ‘keep it casual’ conversation. At first, I thought maybe you took my advice and chose to move on. I figured throwing yourself into work was your way of dealing with things.
“Then, you went to the office one night and came home with a surprising glow about you. Each time you went to the office, I found you in the kitchen the following day with a hop in your step. You were far too happy and relaxed to be the stressed-out, overworked woman you attempted to portray.”
Lucy swallowed hard around the lump in her throat. “Well done, Sherlock. Why haven’t you said anything?”
Abbey gave a stern look. “And what do you want me to say, Lucy? You’re a grown-ass woman. If you want to slink off into the night for a secret love affair, I won’t stop you. I wish you would have told me, but I can guess why you felt the need to hide it.”
“It’s not serious,” Lucy said quickly.
Abbey turned away and moved toward the cupboard. “Okay.”
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think you would approve.”
Abbey blew out a breath. “Well, you’re right about that. I think it’s a horrible idea. But, like I said, you’re a grown woman; my opinion is just an opinion.”
Abbey pulled two bowls from the cupboard and placed them on the counter. Flipping on the kettle, she opened one of the drawers and retrieved the rolled oats.
Lucy watched as her sister continued to prepare breakfast for their girls. ”I’ll be careful.”
“Do you even know what that means?” Abbey didn’t turn around as she poured boiling water into the bowls. “What is there to be careful about if it’s sex?”
Lucy glared into her back, the condescending tone grating on her nerves.
Finally, Abbey turned back toward Lucy. “Listen, it’s your life. You can stop sneaking around, and you can stop lying. I can’t take any more lies right now. Just be honest with me.”
She returned to stirring the oatmeal. The back door slammed, causing Lucy to jump at the sudden noise. Abbey’s back stiffened.
“I didn’t expect to see either of you up at this hour.” Rob walked into the room, tossing his jacket over the back of a chair. The laptop bag gripped tightly in his hand.
“It’s seven,” Abbey said in a clipped tone. “Everyone is awake at this hour.”
Rob exhaled roughly. “Seven? Oh, I thought it was earlier. This project is going to kill me.”
Abbey kept her back to both Rob and Lucy.
Rob glanced toward Lucy. “It’s the Newman project; I’m up to my ears. We had a call last night with Charles Newman himself. He’s in Sydney this week and doesn’t believe in time differences.”
“Ugh.” Lucy made a face. “I hate when the big bosses involve themselves. They think you’ll sprout wings and fly if they ask you to. “
Rob smiled. “We’ve got another meeting this morning. I hope to catch a few hours of sleep before returning to the office. Tonight, we have dinner with the daughter; she’s on the board of directors and is tougher than her old man.”
Abbey turned to glare across the kitchen at him. “You’re missing dinner again tonight?” Her jaw was clenched. “Can we expect you before dawn?”
Rob sighed. “I‘m sorry, Abbs, really I am. I’m sorry I missed last night. If I could have gotten away, I would have, but I have to be there. I’m lead on this project.”
“Maybe it would be best to stay in the city then.” Anger flashed in Abbey’s eyes. “It would save you the drive and the trouble. Wouldn’t that make it easier to be at their beck and call?”
Rob put his hands in the air in surrender. “I’m not going to do this right now. I’m exhausted, and I need a shower. I’m here now; that should count for something.”
“You’re not here.” Abbey raised her voice. “You may be standing in this room, but your mind is at work, and your body is half asleep. Are you going to have breakfast with Lola? Walk her to school? Pack her bag? Take five minutes to say hello to her.”
“Stop! I’m not doing this,” Rob said through gritted teeth. “I’m walking away before I say something I can’t take back.”
Abbey whirled around, hiding the tears glistening in her eyes as Rob rushed from the room.
“Don’t you dare take his side right now!” She leaned over the sink, her arms braced on either side of her.
A wave of guilt washed over Lucy as she bit back the words she was about to say in Rob’s defense.
“I won’t. I get it; it’s not fair. The late nights and the over-commitment to work are hard on you and Lola.”
Tears fell from her eyes as Abbey turned, leaning her back against the sink. “Why can’t he over-commit to me? Am I a horrible wife?”
“Abbey.”
Abbey wiped violently at the tears running down her cheeks. “I am, I know I am. Rob works hard for us. We have a nice life because of him, but all I ever do is yell and get angry. I can’t expect him to stop working.”
“Yes, you can,” Lucy said, stepping around the island. “And maybe you should.”
“He loves his job. I can’t ask him to quit.”
“You’re right; Rob is great at his job.” Lucy handed Abbey a tissue. “I would even say he is the best in our entire company; that’s why he keeps getting promoted. That doesn’t mean he can’t take a break. You don’t have to ask him to quit, but maybe some time off would benefit you both.”
Abbey dapped the tissue under her eyes and nose. “I don’t think he’ll agree with that. He believes the company will fall apart without him.”
“Nothing should matter more to him than family. If you want him to prioritize you and Lola, you have to ask. And you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to spend time with your husband.”
“I want him to want to spend time with us,” Abbey sighed. “I want him to prioritize us because he wants to, not because I nagged him into it.”
“Well, sometimes we need to be reminded,” Lucy said, touching Abbey’s shoulder. “It’s easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day things and lose sight of what’s important. Tell him what you need and what is causing you pain. Maybe he needs to hear how much you miss him to snap you both out of the rut.”
“You make it sound easy.”
Lucy laughed. “Oh goodness, I know it’s not easy. Speaking up is difficult, and pushing through your insecurities is a challenge. I know it’s ironic for me to give relationship advice, but what you and Rob have is special. Don’t let it fade away because you’re afraid of his reaction. Maybe a big blow-up is what he needs to show how much you care.”
“I don’t even know where to start.” Abbey bit her lip and laid her head on Lucy’s shoulder. “I feel like we’re miles apart.”
“He still comes home to you every day,” Lucy said. “Even when he works all night, he comes here as soon as the work is done. He could easily stay in the city but chooses to come home to you and Lola. That”s something.”
“I guess.” Abbey shrugged.
Lucy’s eyes widened. “Hey, Christmas vacation is coming; why not take a trip?”
“We spend Christmas with his family in Galway.” Abbey made a face as if she wasn’t looking forward to that particular trip.
“The full two weeks?”
Abbey raised her head and pushed off the sink. “No. We go for Christmas Eve and return a few days later.”
“You have plenty of time to go somewhere after,” said Lucy, excitement dancing in her eyes.
Abbey reached for her mug, running a fingertip around the rim. “I don’t know if he’ll be up for it. He’ll just make excuses.”
Lucy raised one brow. “Like you’re doing?”
Abbey’s cheeks reddened. “I guess.” Suddenly, her eyes brightened as she looked up at Lucy. “Let’s all go. You and Kaylee, Me, Rob, and Lola. It can be a group holiday. If you go, and maybe if you ask, he won’t say no.”
Lucy tapped her fingers on the countertop. “You want me to be a buffer.”
“And ask,” Abbey muttered.
Lucy sighed. “I’ll talk to Kaylee, but you have to ask Rob.”
Kaylee shuffled into the kitchen. “Talk about what?”
“We’re thinking about taking a full family vacation after Christmas,” Abbey blurted, a newfound energy surging through her. “We’ll go somewhere warm.”
“With a beach?” Kaylee’s face lit up.
“For sure,” Abbey nodded.
“You can talk to Rob while I take the girls to school,” Lucy said, smirking at her sister.
Abbey frowned, but Lucy knew her sister would need to convince Rob if they wanted the chance to save their marriage.
Thirty minutes later, Lucy walked toward the school with Kaylee and Lola in tow. The wind bit at her cheeks, and she pulled the scarf tighter around her neck, grateful Kaylee forced her into wearing gloves and a hat.
“This is why we need to go somewhere warm,” Kaylee said. “These mornings are freezing.”
“A bunch of my friends are going to Tenerife,” Lola said. “They go every winter. It’s warm, and they stay in these big resorts with pools and all kinds of activities. Julia is forever carrying on about horseback riding.”
“No way!” Kaylee shouted. “I want to do that.”
“Sounds pricey,” Lucy cut in. “Aunt Abbey and I will look into it. She has some connections, and I’m sure she’ll find a good deal.”
Lucy’s heartbeat quickened as the school came into view.
Aidan.
Thoughts of their recent lovemaking filled her mind. Even though they had been together only a few hours ago, the anticipation of seeing him again made her breathless. She felt like a schoolgirl with a crush.
Inside the thick gloves, her palms were sweating.
“See you after school,” Kaylee called out, breaking Lucy from her trance.
“Love you. Have a good day.” Lucy hugged her daughter and watched as she ran to her classmates.
Her heart warmed as a group of girls surrounded Kaylee, laughing and chatting. Seeing her daughter’s happiness filled her with pride.
Lucy knew she should leave but couldn’t pass up the opportunity to catch a glimpse of Aidan. They rarely saw each other outside his apartment and never fully clothed for long. Of course, they started dressed but, without fail, always ended up naked. Would it be strange to see him now, knowing they wouldn’t end up in bed in a matter of minutes?
Her legs turned to Jell-o the minute she saw him crossing the courtyard. He was engrossed in conversation with a fellow teacher and looked good, especially for someone who was heavily intoxicated last night. Dressed in casual clothes and looking relaxed, it seemed he hadn’t a care in the world.
Meanwhile, Lucy was a mess. Her heart was about to beat out of her chest, her legs threatening to give out, and she was breathing as if finishing a marathon.
He turned, and their eyes locked. He seemed caught off guard, the surprise evident on his face. Quickly regaining composure, his straightened, and his demeanor became stoic. He offered her a stiff nod before shifting his attention to the students.
Lucy remained frozen. Her stomach dropped. Was he annoyed by her presence? Within a few seconds of greeting his students, he smiled and laughed, a stark contrast to the greeting she had received moments ago. Without a second glance toward her, he was gone.
That was not the greeting she had hoped for. A nod? Not even a smile or a playful wink? He acted like she was a stranger, someone he had met once or twice, instead of the woman he had greedily made love to only a few hours ago.
Pushing back from the fence, she rushed from the schoolyard, desperately fighting back the tears threatening to fall.