CHAPTER FOUR
As more and more votes come in, my heart sinks.
I don’t have an exact count, but I can see the direction this is taking on Rowan’s face as he tallies the votes, and in Olivia’s satisfaction.
I can feel it building up in the excitement of those in the gallery, and in the nervousness of senators like Yarrow, who might lose out if this plan goes ahead.
I can’t read Marcus’ expression. It’s a carefully blank mask, designed for political expediency.
I’m starting to wonder if that’s true of everything about him.
He becomes whatever the people around him need him to be.
It’s what allowed him to survive his family’s downfall and rebuild.
It’s what has brought him to one of the highest political offices in Aetheria, and to power over the city’s more corrupt elements.
Should I really be surprised he’s voted for Selene’s idea of a return to the games as they were?
Marcus never made a secret of his love for the games, and he clearly enjoys the violence of them more than I do.
He’s never been forced to fight in the colosseum, so he doesn’t have my visceral reaction to the thought of people being killed there.
Even so, I feel an almost overwhelming feeling of disappointment at what he’s done here, especially as Rowan stands, ready to announce the results of the vote. His expression is grim, his brows furrowed as he reads out the final tally.
“The vote is concluded. Senator Olivia’s proposal is passed.”
The cheer that comes from the gallery is enough to shake the foundations of the senate chamber. Rowan shakes the stones of it in turn, forcing them to silence.
“I hope you all know what you’ve done here today,” Rowan says, turning and stalking from the senate chamber.
Olivia steps forward. She looks ecstatic, barely able to contain her excitement at her victory. She looks my way and smiles cruelly, apparently enjoying my defeat almost as much as her win.
“My friends, my fellow senators, people of Aetheria, we will have the true games again!” There’s another roar from the public gallery, and Olivia seems to bask in that attention, even though it’s from common folk she normally wouldn’t care about.
“And we will begin that return with a grand tournament!”
She has to pause again as the people cheer. It's more like she's speaking in the public forum or in front of the colosseum, rather than in the Senate.
“But I must beg your indulgence,” Olivia says.
“Such a tournament will take time to put together. We’ll need to find gladiators who aren’t cowards to fight in it, pick out those prisoners who deserve their fates.
We’ll need to rebuild parts of the colosseum to accommodate it.
We want this to be the greatest spectacle the city has ever seen, and the preparations for that will take many days.
In the meantime, the games will continue, and you’ll get a taste of the things to come. ”
I've heard enough. I've lost. Selene and her allies have won, at least here in the Senate.
They've corrupted it so completely they can do almost whatever they wish.
I stand and walk from the chambers, not spending any time in the ante-chambers beyond.
I stalk along the corridors of the palace, heading for Rowan's rooms.
I hear a thud as I reach them and worry fills me.
Has something happened to him? I push the doors open quickly, rushing inside.
Rowan’s there, and a section of the marble wall is cracked where he’s punched it.
With anyone else, that would have broken their hand, but Rowan’s command over stone means he’s only grazed and reddened his knuckles.
“Do I need to get water so you can bathe your knuckles?” I ask.
Rowan turns to me, shaking his head. “I’ll be fine.”
“I’m glad one of us will be,” I reply. He looks as upset by this as I feel, anger and worry etched onto his features.
"How could we get here?" Rowan says. "How could people vote for this kind of brutality? Has Selene really controlled the minds of that many of the Senate?"
I shake my head. I couldn't feel her powers at work there.
"I'm not sure it's about direct control.
Selene's powerful, but to make puppets of that many of the Senate? No. But she could put small suggestions into the minds of some of the senators, and offer bribes to others. There are plenty of ways for her to corrupt people. And I guess some of them truly want this.”
“Like Marcus?” Rowan says.
I nod. A part of me hopes Selene has somehow gained control over him, but only because that’s easier to forgive than the alternative.
“I still don’t get how people can do this,” Rowan says. “I hate it. I hate that the colosseum is open at all. I hate that the only way to placate the people is to give them blood and violence. How did Selene gain this much control?”
“She was seen at the games,” I say, and Rowan looks at me sharply.
“Is that a rebuke, Lyra?” he asks. “You know why I was never in the council box for the games.”
“I do,” I say. Rowan has never been able to bring himself to watch even the reformed games.
After being forced to fight and kill in the colosseum, he refuses to lend any legitimacy to the games by showing up to them as the First Senator.
He also thinks it will make him look too much like the emperor.
“But because you weren’t there, other people could grab all the attention. ”
“Like you and Marcus,” Rowan points out.
He has a point. Marcus and I were the ones sitting in the council box.
Marcus pushed us both forward in the public eye, partly because of his own ambitions and partly because it was a way to counter Selene’s efforts to gain popularity.
Only it didn’t work, not when Marcus was always in favor of the games returning to their full “glory”.
“I don’t know why Marcus did this,” I say. “And all the ones who were kept away from the senate…”
“It wasn’t enough to make a difference,” Rowan says. “Once Marcus’ whole faction voted in favor, it wasn’t even close. Keeping people away must have been a contingency plan in case Marcus sided with you, or some of his people voted against him.”
“I can’t believe he’s done this,” I say, although the problem is that I can believe it, all too easily. “I… I don’t know what we’re going to do next.”
“Nor do I,” Rowan says. “All of this feels as though Selene is tightening a rachet, everything inching back towards the kind of empire she wants.”
It feels that way to me, too, and I feel helpless. Rowan brought me back to Aetheria to help stabilize the city, but I haven't been able to stop Selene, haven't been able to even play a meaningful part in the Senate.
I head back to my rooms, anger bubbling within me, but also just a sense of disappointment and helplessness. I feel as though the things I’ve been trying to do in the city have come to nothing, as if all my efforts have failed.
Marcus is waiting for me when I reach my rooms, standing outside the door and looking nervous. He clearly knows how I’m going to react to him voting in favor of the proposal.
“How could you do this?” I ask him. “How could you vote for a return to the full games?”
He takes me by the shoulders, looking me in the eyes. “Lyra, we’re senators. We have to do the things we believe are best for the city.”
“And you think giving Selene what she wants is the best thing?” I demand.
“I think the games are,” Marcus replies. “They’re crucial to the city. They’re the best way to let out the anger of the people. They’re-”
“They’re a place of blood and death,” I shoot back. “And by voting for this, you’ve ensured that plenty more people will die.”
“I’ve ensured the people will be placated,” Marcus says. “We can’t allow chaos.”
“And that Selene will have everything she wants.”
Marcus shakes his head. “She might have gotten the games back, but that doesn’t mean she has power within the city. If we’re the ones seen there in the council box, presiding over the games the people want then we’re the ones who-”
I pull back from him sharply. “You still think this ends with you as the First Senator and me by your side. You think you can ride the corruption of the city all the way to the top and control everything. That isn’t how Aetheria works, Marcus.
It will destroy you, and me, and plenty of other people along the way. ”
“It’s exactly how Aetheria works,” Marcus counters. “Voting against today would have lost the favor of the common people. We can turn this around, Lyra.”
I shake my head, opening the door to my rooms. Marcus turns me back to him, kissing me deeply.
“We can make this right,” he says. “I love you, Lyra. Let me come in. I know you’re angry with me, but let me make it up to you.”
He thinks sleeping with me will make up for his betrayal in the senate chamber? I push back from him, shaking my head. “Not tonight, Marcus.”
I shut the door, leaving him outside and heading over to the bed.
I don't sleep, though. I lie awake instead, thinking of all the ways my work as a senator has gone wrong. I used to think the Senate was the only way to achieve anything in the city, then that it was at least the right way. Now, I’m not sure if I can achieve anything in it at all.
Not when Selene has so much influence, and senators like Marcus are prepared to support her efforts for their own ends.
Marcus says he loves me, and maybe he even means it, but is that enough, given everything he does?
Tears touch my cheeks in the dark, as I cry not just for the loss of the vote but for all those who will be hurt because of it.
I'm sad, and exhausted from trying so hard to protect people only for the Senate to prove ineffectual.
I'm angry, too, because of the ways Aetheria keeps twisting back towards what it used to be.
I'm convinced that the ordinary people don't want a return to the days of slavery, cruel punishments and death in the arena, but too many of those in power seem to see them as the obvious solutions.
When the first rays of the morning light touch my room, I know what I’m going to do next.
I dress, not in the white tunic of a senator, or even one of the rich dresses Marcus has given me, but in a long tunic and sandals that give me freedom to move.
I belt a dagger to my waist, collect a few other belongings in a pouch, wrap a cloak around myself and, on impulse, pick up my senatorial toga.
I wait until the senators start to gather for the day in the chamber and I head into it. It’s only half full now, but Rowan is there, and Marcus. There are people watching from the gallery. It’s enough.
I walk out to the middle of the floor and Senator Octavio gives me a stern look.
“Senator Lyra, you know you must be properly attired if you want to address the senate.”
"If I want to do it as a senator," I reply.
I throw my toga down into the middle of the Senate's floor.
"But that's what I want to tell you. What happened here yesterday is something I can't accept, and more than that, it's shown me just how little influence I can have here.
I joined the Senate to help the city, and now it seems it only hurts it.
That's why, from this moment forward, I will no longer be a senator of Aetheria. "