Regrets
Wrenly
We were miserable and I wasn’t sure how we made it from Creed and Morgan’s house to the truck. I thought I had it under control after dinner when we cleaned up the kitchen, but then I got into the desserts and so many regrets happened.
Neither one of us had the strength to get out of Travis’s truck and walk into the house.
“That was unhealthy.” Travis groaned.
“I’ve never eaten that much in my life. I feel like I’m going to explode.” I complained.
“Why didn’t I stop with the pumpkin roll after dinner?” He groaned again.
“I thought one piece of pie wouldn’t hurt, then Jenny brought out the cakes.” I looked behind us and saw all the plastic bags filled with containers of leftovers and desserts. “We have way too much food. Do we really have to put it away tonight?” I couldn’t imagine walking, let alone unloading all the containers of food.
“Yes, that was the best turkey and stuffing ever. Holy shit don’t even mention the sweet potato casserole thing. Oh, and what the hell was up with that cranberry sauce? I thought I didn’t like cranberry sauce, then saw that cream cheese icing stuff with nuts on the top, and changed my mind. I think I’m diabetic now. Can you imagine getting a SWAT call right now?”
“Ugh, thank God the program isn’t up and operational yet.” I groaned. “On the count of three let’s just fight through it and go.”
I counted and we got the doors open, but we sort of rolled out of the truck slowly and opened the back door to grab the food. It felt like it took us forever to get in the house and unload everything that needed to go into the fridge. The both of us collapsed into the sofa and I could barely reach the remote for his television.
“Just like old times.” I put Rudolph the Claymation cartoon on because we watched it every year on Thanksgiving night as kids. We didn’t even curl up together because we were so miserable. When Rudolph ended I turned my head to look at Travis. “Have you made a decision yet?” I asked him to go home with me. Not just because I wanted him to see my dad, but because I would miss him being so far away. My dad was aware of our relationship, and when I told him he was far from surprised. I guess he pretty much expected it when I left.
Travis reached for my hand and squeezed it. “I already made arrangements with the Originals and told Darren earlier tonight.”
I smiled wide. “How do you feel about going home?”
He smiled. “I’m kind of excited to see Clint and give him hell about dating his daughter finally.”
“And what if you run into Paula?”
“That’s like asking me how I feel about running into a stranger. I honestly don’t care either way. I don’t have any feelings for her. I forgave my parents, and when that happened I guess it was like being numb. I didn’t know them well enough to form much of a bond. I don’t regret having Tony as my father figure, if anything I’m thankful, so I think any hard feelings I have are about the things I missed as a kid. Like all the time I wasn’t in class and not able to participate in after school activities. It would have been doable once we got to middle school if they would have let me have good attendance.” He smiled. “Did I tell you how much I loved playing basketball my senior year?”
I giggled. “A few times.”
“Maybe that’s why I hung on so tightly to the guys and Bolton. We were a team and like family. The two things I wished I had as a kid.”
I squeezed his hand and smiled. “I’m happy you’re going with me.”
A sly grin formed on his face. “I’m so totally going to fuck Clint’s daughter in her childhood bedroom.”
I laughed through my exhaustion but rolled my eyes. “I’m sure dad will appreciate that.”
“Alright. Do you think we can make it to bed? I don’t have much faith in my strength right now.” He yawned.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
That was one of the few nights we went to bed without sex. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t wake up with a boner pressed into my ass. I was thankful our day didn’t start as early since it was the Friday after Thanksgiving. We didn’t waste a moment, and Travis gave me one of the best mornings of my life. He didn’t have any of the problems he talked about. The man was constantly all over me and had the craziest amount of stamina. Not that I minded, sex with Travis was better than I dreamed. He drew the orgasms out of me like crazy and I was the queen of faking it before I slept with Travis. I could swear just a look from him could set me off, he didn’t even need to touch me.
I was officially the Vice President of the Domestic Violence division of Creed’s Lake. I had my own office downstairs near the command center and Darren’s was next to mine. It was up to me to carry out duties for Darren because he was still Sheriff of Sinclair County. I was also taking online classes and going into Clarity for the SWAT team.
The rescued children left Creed’s Lake almost two weeks prior. They still weighed heavily on my mind. I knew they were better off in their own countries than in South America, but most were returned to Socialist countries, and they were still orphans. It killed me the day I had to help put them on that jet. It was the only time Travis had to leave me for any consecutive days. He was gone for three days, and I hated it.
The Originals were in a meeting, and I just took a call from Darren. There were a few calls he wanted me to make about two of the grants we received. The DV division wasn’t all the way operational quite yet. They did have a few cases, but not enough to keep us busy. I was going to set up some meetings today for Darren and myself for after the new year. We needed to make contact with some of the shelters around the country, and we were also reaching out to some public defenders offices. Creed and Darren already had rental property for the law office, but they asked me to have it furnished and decorated, so I was staying busy with that as well.
As I was looking on Pinterest for some decorating inspiration, I stumbled across a photo of a nursery. In it, they showed a mother looking down at her little infant with nothing but pure love in her eyes. The father was standing in the doorway admiring his wife with a big smile on his face. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t think of the baby I lost, but instead it was one that wasn’t created yet. Something I realized I hadn’t had in a long time was slowly growing inside me. Something that Travis was giving me, and that was hope. My previous cesarean did increase my chance of a miscarriage by three percent according to my doctor and my research online. Three percent didn’t sound like much, but it did to a mom with empty arms. The pain of that loss would always be raw, but after my pregnancy scare after that stupid party, I was coming to terms with the fact that I could still be a mother someday. Even though I was frightened about it, Travis made me want to be a mother. Not that I would want to get pregnant now, but possibly in the future. I swear Travis made me want everything I wanted for us years ago. I was a child then, but the feelings I had for Travis were real.
We were busy, starting new programs, and Travis and I stole every available second we could be together. Whenever there wasn’t a mission and we weren’t needed at Creed’s Lake, we took short trips. Typically to places close enough to home that we could be back in a matter of a few hours if something happened. After his meeting, we took off for French Lick, where we stayed in a gorgeous hotel. I visited the spa while he fished one day, then we went sightseeing before a very nice dinner and another night making love. We didn’t travel because we didn’t love Creed’s Lake, it was just because we enjoyed quiet time together without any disruptions. Travis said there were less overseas missions in the summer, and it wasn’t unusual for the Originals to take small trips, especially on their bikes. That’s the kind of stuff I wanted to experience before we made our dreams come true. I guess before we even thought of having a baby, which is insane in itself that I even entertained the idea.
A week after Thanksgiving, Axton took us to the airport. By us, I mean Travis, Stone, and myself. We had to be in Texas for the first of many testimonies in the Scorpions cases. Axton didn’t like me. I believed that was for several reasons. He was protective of Travis, and I guess the same could be said about all the Originals. He just didn’t want to see Travis get hurt if something happened to me. That brings his second reason. He didn’t like the idea of operatives getting involved. He liked me just fine before he learned who I was to Travis. All the way to Louisville he talked to everyone but me. It seemed like the longer Travis, and I were together, the more he resented me. I also think he was pissed that he was no longer second in command. He probably blamed that on me as well. Travis didn’t want to run Creed’s Motorsports, and he probably thought that had something to do with the travel involved and Travis didn’t want to leave me all the time. The travel was an issue, but most of all it was because Travis didn’t like the position, and he didn’t want to work with Victor. He was so determined to stay away from the shop that he had Magnus bring a few bikes that were in for repairs to his garage at his house to work on them in the evenings while I made dinner. Victor returned and Travis avoided the shop as much as possible.
The flight was good, first class of course, I don’t think the Originals ever travel commercially in coach. The FBI paid for it, but Travis had us upgraded. They also paid for one car rental, but neither Stone or Travis were happy with the compact car for obvious reasons, so when we arrived they got an upgrade with that as well. There wasn’t any sense in renting two since we were staying downtown, and we were only there for one full day. Travis upgraded our hotel room to a junior suite, which I thought was insane. He said it was because he had work to do and couldn’t stretch out in a normal room. Which he had a point, he was a big man that needed space. It wasn’t a huge Presidential suite, but just a one bedroom with a small living room and kitchen. I saw his point, the desk in a hotel room was small, so he opted for a kitchen table and chairs to spread out his work. Travis rarely let me pay for anything, so I was growing even more suspicious about his finances. Of course, I knew he made more money than me, and I made a decent salary, but the way he never worried about spending too much made me very curious.
“Why do you think Axton hates me?” I asked as we laid in bed at our hotel. We just finished a very satisfying round of sex after dinner with Stone.
I was tracing circles on his chest as I rested my head on his shoulder.
“He doesn’t hate you, he’s simply not on board with two operatives dating.” He answered.
“He’s fine with Valerie and Darren.” I said.
“I guess in his mind that’s different. Axton doesn’t like relationships in general, at least not for him, but I think with Bolton he can see she’s happy and that’s all we’ve ever wanted for her. They’re a good match and Bolton is soon to retire from missions. She’s been doing this longer than any of us and she’s past the age of military retirement. I think he likes you just fine, he just has a problem with our relationship.” He kissed the top of my head. “It would be damn hard not to like you, Wrenly.”
It still bothered me, and I didn’t want to come between Travis and Axton. The thing I noticed most about Creed’s Lake is the respect given to the Originals. I’ve spent time around other operatives, especially a few female operatives who don’t have a problem gossiping. Creed was always the intimidating one. I was told he lightened up quite a bit after Morgan came into the picture. Axton was a take charge kind of guy that didn’t visit Club X all that often and pretty much stayed at Creed’s side. He was more sociable than Creed was before Morgan, but still kept his distance. He was definitely not very open about his love life. I never met Baros, but I was told he was a lot like Axton, except he liked hanging out at Club X at night with Magnus and Drakos. Those were the three Originals the operatives got to know the best. They spent more time around them since they were the most outgoing. Granger worked then went home to his family, where his loyalty was mostly dedicated. Bolton, or Valerie as I knew her, was professional, and only really sociable with the Originals and the wives. Drakos, well Drakos was Drakos. The most sociable, rude at times, and very full of himself. The operatives saw Travis as quiet, very loyal to the Originals, but also the easiest to approach if they had problems. One female operative referred to him as being a real darling and he was beloved by all. The nicest but quietest guy in the bunch. Magnus was a lot like Travis, but he was way more outgoing. I got along fine with everyone but hated how Axton distanced himself once he learned about me and Travis. He was really pissed when he learned the truth about us, and Bolton said he felt like Travis lied by withholding the truth during my hiring process. It didn’t make much sense if I was going to be honest. Stephanie said Axton acted the same way around her for a few years, and she wasn’t an operative. No, it was something else about me that bothered him.
“Don’t worry about Axton. He can be a real dick sometimes and he’s also still pissed off that I’m now the co-ceo. He didn’t lose his position, he still has the same job but I think it’s a pride thing. He’ll get over it.” Travis said.
“I can’t believe I was here for weeks, and you didn’t tell me that you were the second largest owner. Is that how you can afford to take me on all these small trips and you’re always upgrading us?” I asked.
The fingers he was gently running up and down my back paused. “I never cared for anyone to know that I had more ownership than the other Originals. It’s not something I care to share with the employees. Everyone knew Creed was and always would be the guy in charge, that he funded most of Creed’s Lake, and I didn’t want to be seen as anything but equal to the rest of the Originals. Yes, that’s how I can afford upgrades. It’s also why I was stuck running the bike shop. I’m the largest private owner of it since the rest is owned by Creed’s Lake.” He answered.
Travis lives very modestly, and that’s why I was surprised to learn he had so much invested.
“I thought you sent most of your military pay to your friend’s family.” I said.
“I did, but I had money from Tony. He had life insurance through work, but he also had a sizable private life insurance package.” He paused for a minute. “Tony had a lot of money, investments, and undocumented money, like gold and silver bars. I have no clue what happened in his past that made him wealthy. I asked your dad, but he said he didn’t know either. Anyway, I was the only benefactor of his estate, and I never spent a dime of it until Creed dreamed up Creed’s Lake. By no means am I as wealthy as Creed and Morgan, but I’m comfortable. So are the rest of the Originals. I had the funds to invest earlier, and the bike shop was not only my idea, but I had the money to invest. Until then it felt wrong to touch Tony’s estate and that’s why I didn’t sell the house.” He explained.
We talked about his finances and mine, but eventually we both got bored with the conversation and fell asleep. The next day was nothing but court and meeting with the federal prosecutors. Stone and I didn’t get back until late, but we met Travis in the hotel restaurant and went to bed early. We all had early flights. Stone to Indiana and we flew to Oklahoma where Travis once again rented a large SUV.
He was strangely quiet during the drive from the airport. Other than asking for my dad’s address and listening to GPS it was suddenly very heavy in the car. I wasn’t surprised he didn’t know how to get home from the city, but was surprised he didn’t just let me drive. I noticed the closer we got to our old neighborhood the tighter he squeezed my hand.
Nothing had changed, and he was seeing the same businesses as we drove through town. The pool was the same, the grocery store still had the same sign, and if course I noticed when he somewhat winced as we drove by the funeral home. That was when I suddenly felt horrible. What if he only came to make me happy and it was harder on him than I imagined? Once he was in town, he turned off the GPS and made it to our old neighborhood like he never forgot. He knew to take a right into the subdivision, and to take a left on our old street. His grasp on my hand grew tighter as Tony’s house came into view. I wasn’t sure he realized how tight he was squeezing my hand. I let it happen if that was what gave him comfort.
Once in my parents driveway he let go and put the car in park. We sat there in the quiet as he looked out the window at the house he owned. I put my hand on his shoulder, and he turned to glance at me before looking back at it. “Clint hasn’t changed a thing. Even the front door is the same color.”
“Yeah, dad’s a pretty sentimental guy.” I rubbed his arm as he studied the only place that even came close to a home for him as a child.
The front door of my parents’ home opened, and I saw my dad step outside. “Holy shit, he’s the same guy but he looks smaller.” Travis said.
I giggled. “That’s because someone grew bigger.” I unsnapped my seatbelt and Travis hit the button to shut off the car. Slowly, he opened his door as my dad walked out, then slowly shut it after he stood. I watched them closely as I got out of the car. Dad pulled Travis into a hug and slapped his back, but didn’t let go.
“Welcome home, kid.” Dad was a little emotional and I was sure it was bittersweet for him. He missed Travis, but Travis also favored Tony so much it was probably a bit shocking. “Damn it’s good to finally see you.”
I had to wipe a tear away, then Heather’s voice drew my eyes from my dad and boyfriend to the adorable woman that ran from the house and nearly knocked me over for a hug. Dad finally let go of Travis and when Heather let go of me she looked over and gasped. I almost forgot Heather was the only girl Tony had a long term relationship with and seeing Travis was probably like seeing a ghost to her. “Oh my God.” She whispered and her face was almost as white as a ghost.
My dad chuckled. “Travis, this is my wife, Heather. Heather, by the looks of it you don’t need an introduction.”
“I just can’t believe, you look so much like him.” Heather slowly approached Travis, and I saw a tear drop from her eye. “It’s almost uncanny.” She looked almost devastated. It was no secret that Heather once loved Tony very deeply, and he was the one that ended it. My dad knew, and of course he wasn’t jealous or anything. Heather loved my dad more than anything, but Tony would always be her first love. “Welcome home, Travis.” She pulled him down for a hug and he accepted her hug just fine.
“Well, I guess we should get your bags. Travis, we have Jacob’s room made up for you, and he will crash on the sofa.” Dad walked to the back of the car.
“Sorry, Clint, but I think I’ll be staying in your daughter’s room.” Travis had a sly grin on his face, and my dad paused before he turned and looked at Travis then me. I gave him a nod, then dad looked at Travis.
“Uh, you think that’ll happen under my roof? You’re not married.” Dad shook his head. “Nope.”
“Clint, you’re being ridiculous. These kids are almost thirty years old and it’s not like we didn’t share a bed before marriage.” Heather said and I winced to those words. In dad’s credit, they did not share a bed when I was home. Heather didn’t move in until they were married, but dad did stay at her place once a week. He spent one night off with her and one with me, but she was out of town a lot too.
“I’ll just sneak into her room when you go to bed anyway.” Travis walked to the back of the Tahoe and opened the gate for our bags.
“Marry her then we will talk about it.” Dad reached into the back the same time as Travis.
“Fine, we can go to the courthouse now.” Travis gave me the cutest smile and a wink.
I spoke up. “The two of you are acting like a day hasn’t passed by. You know Travis doesn’t let people tell him what to do, dad.”
“Did we have this talk when you were what…twelve?” Dad asked. “No more sleepovers.”
“No, we never had that talk. You bribed grandma into that talk, then said no more sleepovers before you ran out of the room like a chicken.” I reminded him.
We were carrying our luggage inside as we talked.
“Clint, must I remind you that your daughter has been dropped into war zones and took down an entire motorcycle gang? I think she can handle her own sex life.” Heather started her lecture as we walked upstairs.
“My daughter doesn’t have a sex life, Heather.” Dad was in denial.
“Yes she does.” Travis said.
Dad growled as he went to Jacob’s room with my bag, and we went to my room. “Dad, that’s my suitcase.”
“Shit.” Dad cursed. “No funny stuff.” He set the suitcase just inside my door.
“Oh, there’s going to be all kinds of funny stuff.” Travis antagonized him.
Dad turned and walked out. “He doesn’t just look like Tony he fucking acts like him too.” Dad bitched as he made his way downstairs.