Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
I’m silent for the rest of the ride. I have questions.
Oh lord of the underworld, do I have questions.
But mostly I’m not sure what to do about any of it.
Or more, I’m not sure what I can do about any of it.
It’s disconcerting, to say the least, and I don’t know what, if anything, I should say to my mom.
She didn’t know about the will change any more than I did.
She wasn’t even upset about the money going to me, just surprised.
Any rift between us lately has been surrounding her wanting me to marry Ezra, as that’s what my father had wanted.
Speaking of...
Ezra: I miss you. I still can’t believe you did this to us. All I want is you back.
I sigh. He’s averaging roughly five to six texts a day. Lenox pulls out his phone, checks it, and grits his teeth, his blue eyes peering coolly over at me. I’m assuming since he’s tapped into Ezra’s phone, he can see that text.
“You should know he does miss you. He’s a whiny bitch to his father and his friend about it.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, you mean pervy Frank?”
He tilts his head. “That’s what you call Francis Caulder?”
“He stares at my tits every time he talks to me.”
“I can’t blame him for that, even if I now want to kill him for it. You should also know Ezra is fucking around with his assistant.”
I snort. “Poor Marni. She was sweet but always very obviously in love with him. Why are you telling me this?”
“In case you were planning to go back to him.”
“I’m not. He’s lying to Frank to make himself look like the victim. He doesn’t miss me. He misses his shot at my money. Besides, that ship sailed long before I didn’t marry him. Not that being married to you has been the time of my life either, but likely better by comparison.”
He studies me. “You still don’t forgive me yet?”
I smile sweetly. “Nope. How are your balls? Are they blue?” My voice drops when I say that, and I make a sad face.
He grins and gives my hair a playful tug. “Nope. I had the smell and taste of your pussy all over my fingers from rubbing your clit, in addition to the mental image of you fucking me this morning. I had no problems jerking off in the shower.”
“You should get used to that. You’ll be doing it from now on.”
He chuckles as if that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever said and then hops out of his truck and comes around to help me down before I can do it myself. Alice jumps down after me, and he lets her in the shop’s back door.
I’m fuming. More annoyed and confused and stressed now than I was five minutes ago. Men suck. “What is it about me that makes it so fucking easy and desirable for you assholes to use me without care or remorse?”
Lenox freezes, his hand that was sorting through the mail poised in midair, clutching an envelope.
Slowly, he turns to face me, his eyes fierce as he takes two steps until he’s directly before me.
“You weren’t easy to use, and I certainly never did so without care or remorse.
” He looks away for a moment, as if he’s gathering his thoughts and figuring out the right way to say this before turning back to me.
“I held nothing in my hands, Georgia. But more importantly, I wasn’t deserving of anything real to fill them.
I was empty inside and out. I already told you this morning that I didn’t deserve you, and I knew it all along.
My life was a mess, and you telling me you loved me was the wake-up call I never knew I wanted or needed.
I had to go out and try and fix myself. I had to make amends for all my wrongs the only way I could.
But hurting you has been one of the main regrets of my life. Up there with letting Suzie die.”
I make a disgruntled noise in my throat, if for no other reason than to clear the emotion away. I have a lot to process with that, as I do with everything freaking else. But he has to know this. He has to.
“Do you know what I do for a living?”
“You’re a midwife.”
“Yes, Lenox Moore, I’m a midwife. That means I deliver babies and help women through their reproductive process.
I have had women die on the table for no fucking reason.
I have seen mothers lose babies, and babies lose mothers.
And from my professional viewpoint, you have never been responsible for Suzie’s death. ”
He gulps and then gulps again, his eyes glassing over. “How did you know she was pregnant?”
My fingers trickle over his stubble-lined jaw. “You told me.”
His eyes pinch shut, and he releases a shaky breath. “Evidently, I did talk to you when I spoke to no one else.”
My fingers comb back into his hair, and I grip the back of his head so he really listens to me.
“Headaches are extremely common in pregnancy and can range from simple hormonal changes to dehydration to lack of protein to something scarier. Suzie was twenty-two, young and healthy, and didn’t tell any medical provider about her headaches or her other symptoms. She didn’t even tell Zax about them.
That means they couldn’t check her urine or blood for abnormalities.
Yes, you knew about the headaches and a few other symptoms. But she was twenty-two, Lenox.
I’m not sure as a provider I would have caught it either. ”
I give the strands of his hair a little shake .
“Suzie’s death was not your fault. Do you hear me?”
A nod.
“Good.” I reach up and plant a kiss on his cheek, then release him to head for the front door.
I need to leave him. I need to be alone with my thoughts for a while, but before I can escape, he grabs my hand and joins me, leading me out the front of the store and walking us down the sidewalk together like we’re an actual couple.
Everyone we pass gives us a doubletake, but no one says anything.
“What are you doing?”
“Giving the paparazzi who are pretending to blend in with the townspeople something to photograph.”
“Fabulous,” I deadpan.
He stops and turns, and without warning, leans in and kisses my lips. And then he hugs me, holding me to him as if I’m something priceless. Something so precious to him that he has to hold me. Whether it’s in gratitude for what I told him or something else, I don’t care.
I needed this hug too. More than I realized.
I clear my throat and push him back. “We already did this show at the game last weekend. What more do we have to prove at this point?”
He starts to walk with me again, still holding my hand. “Since you won’t text him back, I’m simply reiterating to your ex that you’re mine.”
I snort. “I’m not yours, Lenox, and if you want to text him back on my behalf, go for it. I won’t have to deal with him until the board meeting early next month.”
Lenox stops abruptly, his hand jerking me back until I practically slam into his chest. His free hand cups my face, and his eyes blaze directly into mine.
“You are mine, Georgia. You’ve always been mine.
I just have to get you to forgive me first, and then you’ll know how deep this goes.
” He steps into me, his thumb dragging up and down my cheekbone, his eyes scorched with emotion. “Tell me how to get you to forgive me.”
I realize forgiving him isn’t the issue. I think I do forgive him. I think I was nearly there before, but his apology this morning and then again just now solidified it for me. It’s more I’m afraid of what admitting that, especially out loud, will do to me.
His possessive side isn’t new. It was actually one of my favorite things about him.
I relished the way he possessed me. Hell, he even said it point-blank on the plane before we ever ended up back in bed with each other.
But I’m toying with a slippery slope, and one false move could send me over the edge, falling toward a place I might not return from.
Still, with him looking at me like this, staring so deeply, so intently into my eyes, holding me this way, I find myself asking, “What happens if I forgive you?” Because I need to know his truth. I need to know if I’m the only one at risk here.
Before he can answer, my name is screamed out through the streets. “Georgia!”
Lenox groans, his forehead momentarily falling to mine, before he releases me and takes a step back.
I turn to find Brooklyn hurriedly waddling up the street with two other women, one of them also pregnant, beside her, seemingly just as excited as she is.
“You’re still alive!” she yells since she’s about four storefronts from us. “My husband and I were placing bets on whether or not Lenox had you stuffed in his basement yet or not.”
I raise an eyebrow at her and turn back to Lenox. “You have quite the reputation here.”
He leans in and kisses me. Right here on the sidewalk. Right in front of freaking Brooklyn and these two women and everyone else. Without another word, he turns and walks back toward his shop.
“Yeah, you better go, Lenox. Your dude will be here in about ten.”
I head back toward the ladies. “His dude?”
Brooklynn shrugs. “His hush-hush client that I’m not allowed to discuss since I’ve signed an NDA. He booked four hours with Lenox. It’s why he’s going in today when the shop is technically closed. ”
Oh right. I forgot that Lenox said it’s normally closed on Mondays.
“But straight facts, that kiss was hot. I had no idea Lenox was capable.”
I don’t say a word to Brooklynn on that and thankfully, she plows on.
“Georgia, these are two of my friends. This is Miranda,” she introduces, pointing to the tall, willowy brunette on her left, “and this is Paige.” She points to the pregnant blonde, who appears to be about four months, if I had to guess, but she’s all belly.
“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you both.” I shake their hands.