Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
I’m not sure Georgia is breathing right now.
I know I’m sure as hell not. But after the way this week started between us and having her subsequently shut me out again, I’m done.
I’m just fucking done. There are moments in our lives when holding intricate pieces of ourselves back is wise, but this isn’t that time.
I have spent the last six years rebuilding myself into a man who could one day go toe-to-toe with her and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am fucking worthy of that footing.
I had to rebuild my mind, my life, my fucking karma, and my psyche.
I had to not hate my reflection. I had to not blame myself for the death of my sister and the death of my father and the man he killed.
Those aren’t overnight ventures. And bringing the woman who you consider to be your endgame—the love of your fucking life—along for that ride isn’t something you do.
Love is letting go when you need to let go and hoping that their life turns out better without you in it.
That’s all I ever wanted for her .
And then she showed up at my house needing my help and now here we are, and I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend like it hasn’t always been her. I can’t pretend like every decision I’ve made since I left her six years ago hasn’t been made with her at the forefront of my mind.
“You told me?—”
“I know what I told you. I lied.”
“Why?”
I sigh plaintively. “I blamed myself for Suzie’s death.
And then I didn’t do anything to stop my father’s downward spiral because I was too deep in my own.
I watched as he killed a man and then killed himself, and I was disappointed that he hadn’t killed me instead.
I walked around with that for two years.
I couldn’t shake it. I didn’t even try to.
I earned that misery, reveled in its suffering, but you…
you were light and air, and you made me want. ”
“Want what?” she whispers, her voice tremulous and unsure.
“ Life . You made me want to live again, Georgia. When you told me you loved me, it was as if your words shocked me out of myself. You made me want more for the first time in two years. But I was too broken, too messed up for it, and I wasn’t ready.
I had treated you so poorly, and I didn’t deserve your heart or your love.
I had to earn it. I knew that, but I fucking wanted it so badly.
So I came clean to Zax, and I left Boston.
About a week later, I was in a diner in Maine, and I heard a man who owned a bunch of real estate talking with another man about how a small town was going into mass foreclosure and the townspeople didn’t know what to do.
So I bought the town, and I fixed it up so that the people who lived here and owned businesses could still do that without worry.
Then I built your dream home because you were my fucking dream too, and even though I knew I’d never have you again, I wanted to give you that.
All I wanted was to be a man who could be worthy of you.
But when I left you, I wasn’t him yet. Not even close, and I couldn’t do that to you. ”
“Because you didn’t feel you deserved me?”
My eyes flash. “I didn’t. ”
“So you’ve spent the last six years working to become that man. For me.”
“Yes,” I say simply because it’s true. I did it for me—all of it—because I wanted to be a better man, a better human, someone I could respect, but it was always with her in mind.
“And now?”
“Now I fucking deserve you.” I cup the back of her head and press our foreheads together.
“I can’t breathe when I’m not near you. You have my heart, Georgia.
I’m yours. I’ve always been yours. I will always be yours.
You are my favorite everything, and I can’t live without you anymore.
But more than that, you’re my wife, and I have no plans to ever let you change that. ”
I hold up my left hand, at the band that’s there covering the rose tattoo.
“You are this rose. And you are forever.”
Her eyes pinch shut, and her body trembles against mine.
I press my lips to hers, holding her so close.
“Don’t be afraid to fall in love with me.
I swear, I’ll never hurt you again.” My hands glide up and down her face, touching her skin.
“God, Georgia, I love you so fucking much. There is madness in how much I love you. You are all I think about, day and night. There is nothing in my life more important to me than you.”
I kiss her quivering lips and wrap her up in my arms.
“Please give me another chance,” I whisper in her ear. “Everything is different now, and it will never again be like how it was.”
“What about Zax and Grey?”
I laugh because I can’t help it. After everything I just said to her, that’s what she asks? “Well, once I know you’re willing to give me a second chance, I plan to tell them you’re mine.”
“They won’t be mad. They love you.”
I smile and kiss her cheek, trickling down to her neck.
“They will be mad, Georgia, and they have every right to be. I didn’t keep my promise.
I told them I’d keep my distance and that I wouldn’t touch you, and I’ve done both while hiding it from them.
Yet another thing I promised them I wouldn’t do. ”
“Will that change this? ”
I shake my head. “No. I don’t care if they’re mad, and it won’t stop me. I love them, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them… except let you go.”
Georgia climbs onto my lap, and I hug her to me, moving her hair back over her shoulders so I can kiss her neck, her face, her lips. She lifts my left hand and kisses the rose I have there, then places my hand on her chest, right over her heart.
Her eyes burn into mine. “I’m giving this back to you. Don’t make me regret that.”
“I’ll keep it safe this time. I promise.”
“Don’t ever stop loving me because I know now, I never stopped loving you.”
“I never stopped loving you either.” My lips slam down on hers in an untamed rush. I need to be closer. I need to feel her every breath, every sigh. She’s mine. She’s finally fucking mine. I’ve never experienced this before.
This… rush. This… need. This… everything .
My hands slide beneath her, and I stand, lifting her in my arms as I do.
I push the piano bench back and walk her across the room to the couch, where I lay her down on the soft leather and cover her body with mine.
Her fingers twine up into my hair as my hot breath falls across her ear, making her shiver.
“I thought about you all day,” I whisper, trickling kisses along her neck up to her jaw. “I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t focus. I had to come home and see you. I’ve been in agony all week without you.”
I want to give Georgia everything. All of me. I never want to disappoint her again.
I twist to snatch her lips with mine, demonstrating my impatience, my desperation for her.
Her eyelids flutter as I lick the seam of her lips, nibbling lightly until she opens for me.
A groan sears past my throat at the first taste of her tongue, and I press in, pushing her deeper into the couch, needing to feel her body as I kiss her mouth.
Our tongues coil and massage in deep, penetrating movements, and I try to slow myself down.
Not wanting lust to overtake passion.
My body vibrates with her heat as she wraps herself around me and forces me tighter against her, grinding ever so slightly against my hard length as if she can’t stop herself.
My blood thrums as I devour her mouth, her kiss so intoxicating I don’t know which way is up.
She hums into my mouth, a sound so sweet and clear and bright that I groan in return, twisting my head so I can take her mouth deeper, anxious for more and more.
With her body pressed against mine, trapped beneath me like this, my access to her is limited. My hands have nowhere else to go other than her hair and face and they’re growing impatient, restless with the need to touch and explore her as ours.
“Georgia,” I whisper, reaching down and adjusting her thigh, shifting it higher up my hips so I can press myself closer against her. She moans at the hard press of me into her, and my clothes feel like they’re strangling me, too tight, too restrictive. I need them off. I need hers off too.
Shifting my body to my left side, I move my hand between us, rubbing her pussy through her leggings as my mouth continues to work at a dizzying pace over hers, stealing her breath, tasting her pleasure as she whimpers into me.
I pull back, catching the stunning look on her flushed face, and dive back in, flicking her tongue with mine.
My hand dives into her leggings, so grateful I don’t have to waste time fumbling with a button or zipper or deal with the cumbersome task of trying to fight with stiff pants.
The leggings glide effortlessly down her legs, and she kicks them and her fuzzy socks off her feet, shivering ever so slightly when her bare skin touches the cool leather.
Impatient hands trickle along my arms, ripping at the back of my shirt, and I reach behind my head to pull it off.
The storm brewing outside has nothing on the storm inside her eyes as she takes in the lines of my chest and the markings of colorful ink.
I lift her sweater up and over her head, casting it on the floor along with the rest of our clothes.
Her hands meet my shoulders, and she pulls me back down against her, anxious for the heat of my skin against hers.
My palm flattens against her inner thigh, and I trail up marveling at her smooth skin until I’m back at her blazing hot center.
I slip inside her panties, gliding my fingers up and down her wet slit while thrusting my throbbing cock against her thigh.
“Lenox.” She gasps as I circle her clit.