Chapter 7 #2
His expression turns genuine. “I’m honestly not. Not in the way you mean it, at least. I wanted that night to be great. I was going to take you back to my hotel and then ask for your number with plans of using it. Five minutes after meeting you, and that’s what I was already thinking about.”
I look away, hating how that makes me feel. “That didn’t happen, so what now?” It’s the question I was dreading asking but has to be faced all the same.
He shifts off the ground and scooches in on the chaise beside me. “I don’t know. This is my first time finding out I have a kid I knew nothing about. I don’t know what I can ask for and what I can’t.”
“Did you ever… did you ever want kids?”
He gives me a look. “Fuck yeah, I want kids. Callan is now the guardian of his niece Katy, and I love hanging out with her. Kids are great. My brother has three little terrors I don’t get to see nearly as often as I’d like since he lives in Dallas, and we don’t play them often.
He married his high school sweetheart. They’re the couple everyone loves to hate because they’re still sickeningly in love with each other. ”
The way he says that makes me smile. It’s a far more normal response than I was expecting, and I don’t even know why. Joe has jaded me pretty deeply.
“You know…” he trails off and leans into me, rubbing his shoulder with mine. “I’ve thought about you a lot since that night. I always said if I ever found you, I’d do everything I could to make up for the shitty sex I gave you.”
I snort out a laugh. “Are you propositioning me for sex?”
“Not just any sex. Great sex,” he counters, his eyes glimmering against the pool lights.
“I seem to remember that promise once before.”
“Yeah, but I’ve only had one drink and no muscle relaxants. Trust me, I won’t have performance issues with you again.”
“I’ve thought of you too, but not in the most favorable way.” I give him a sheepish grin.
He sobers. “I wasn’t trying to do anything underhanded that night. I swear—”
I put my hand on his forearm, stopping him. “I know. I heard what you said downstairs in the bathroom, and I believe you. I never thought I’d meet Mason’s father again. It’s a lot to take in.”
“It’s a lot to take in,” he agrees, his gaze flickering back and forth between mine before dipping down to my lips.
He exhales a breath and then starts to lean in like he’s going to kiss me.
I pull back, and his hand cups the back of my neck, holding me still.
“Don’t pull away,” he pleads, his sweet breath on my lips.
“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to kiss you.
From the first second I saw you again, I’ve wanted nothing else.
But seeing those pictures of Mason. Of you with him.
Wynter, I want you so badly that I can hardly stand to be next to you and not touch you or kiss you. ”
My heart gives a reactive thud, and my body heats.
So much of that night is still fuzzy, but I remember thinking that his kisses were magic.
And the way he’s looking at me, whispering words I’m not sure I’ve ever heard the equal of against me.
I’m lonely and aching and emotional—and I know everything that went wrong the first time wouldn’t happen again.
He’d give me the best sex of my life. He’d make damn sure of it.
“But then what?” I ask.
His brows crease. “What do you mean?”
“You kiss me, and maybe we have sex. Maybe it’s great this time.
Best sex of our lives, even. But what happens after that, Asher?
I have a son who also happens to be your son, and we haven’t worked out any of that complicated situation yet.
It’s not like I can date you or that this is the start of a relationship. ”
He blinks in rapid fire at me. “Why not?”
“For so, so many reasons. I don’t know you very well. So there’s that. More importantly, I can’t get emotionally involved with you that way. That’s how things become messy. That’s how things turn ugly. I have to think of Mason. Of what’s best for him.”
He frowns and pulls back, scrubbing his face with his hands. “Can I be in his life?”
I pry his hands from his face, and he interlaces them with mine. “Is that what you want?”
His fingers squeeze mine. “I want to be in his life as much as you’ll allow me to be. I’m not the sort of man who would have a kid and then not be their dad.”
My heart hiccups in my chest, and I release him.
This is what I was afraid of. This is what can’t happen.
He’s saying and doing all the right things.
It’s enthralling and magnetizing and so very tempting.
Asher is gorgeous and built and charming and quick-witted, and he wants me.
Being desired, especially by a man who could likely have any woman he wanted, is an aphrodisiac.
But the reality is, I got pregnant from a one-night stand, and though it’s easy and romantic to call this something other than coincidence, it’s not.
We’d burn hot and crash fast, and that’s not something that can happen now. So I tell him the only truth that will sustain us and make this work.
“If you want to be in Mason’s life, then nothing can ever happen between us.”