Chapter 6 #2
I take a slow inhale, leaning my shoulder against the back of the couch and forcing a grin. “Watch something else?”
He scoffs. “Shows how much you know about me. When I want to watch something, that’s what I want to watch, and my brain won’t allow for substitutions.”
I take one more deep breath and try to exhale the weirdness coalescing in my stomach.
“Well, if it’s Ten Things I Hate About You night, maybe we need a late-night Thai food delivery.
I thought I would never be hungry again after all the game snacks, but I am.
It’s like a movie night Pavlovian thing. See DVDs, need snacks.”
Tyler seems to consider this. “That’s one option, but hear me out. What about grilled cheese instead? I’ve been pondering a white American, gouda, grated gruyere, hot honey on sourdough situation I’m absolutely positive will be the best thing you’ve ever tasted.”
I burst out laughing, relieved the awkwardness seems to be behind us. “You really hated that arena grilled cheese, didn’t you?”
Tyler shakes his head. “Soph, it was the worst fucking thing I’ve ever eaten. An insult to grilled cheese connoisseurs everywhere. And the lemonade and Dr Pepper combo really didn’t do it for me. Why do I always think I want a different drink? I always end up regretting it’s not ginger ale.”
I shrug. “You like what you like. There’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t have to try so hard to like different things.”
Tyler grins at me. “When you’re right, you’re right. So…grilled cheese?”
The hopeful smile on his face makes me laugh again, and even though my romantic heart beats for him in a way that is both thrilling and really annoying, he’s also still my best friend and my favorite person in the world.
“Sure, why not? Make me grilled cheese, and I’m going up to change out of these clothes while you do that. ”
“Fuck yes!” Tyler pops up from the couch and heads for the kitchen. “I washed the pajamas you left here last time,” he calls back to me. “Your pink socks too. They’re in the drawer in the guest room. Oh, and Soph?” He turns around and smirks in a way that has me immediately on guard.
“What?” I ask warily.
“You should really consider replacing your underwear. Holes in the crotch are super not cute.”
“You washed my underwear?” I growl at him, feeling my face heat because of course I left my most embarrassing pair of underwear at his house.
He shrugs, smirk permanently fixed to his face.
I want to punch it off. Or kiss it off. One of those things for sure.
“You left them on the bathroom floor with your pajamas and socks. If you don’t want me to wash your underwear, you should really pick your dirty clothes up off the floor yourself like a big girl. ”
I close my eyes, reminding myself that murder is wrong. “Why do I like you again?”
Tyler tosses me a wink. “Because I’m amazing and I’m about to make you a grilled cheese you’ll dream about for weeks.
Also, because I just replenished my stash of your gross jelly beans and I stuck a Dr Pepper can in the freezer thirty-two minutes ago, so by the time you change it’ll be the perfect amount of frosty. ”
I stand from the couch, pointing at him. “No more touching my underwear. It’s insane behavior Tyler.”
He shrugs. “No promises. It’s just clothes, Soph. And if you leave it here, and I wash it, it’s one less thing you have to wash. I know how you feel about laundry.”
How I feel about it is that I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns and I put it off for as long as possible, hence the underwear with the holes. I was about six days overdue for a date with my washing machine the day I wore those over here.
“Ugh, fine. I’m going to change. Try not to do any more crazy shit while I’m gone.”
“No promises!” he calls as he saunters into the kitchen.
I stand there for a second, pondering all the ways this night took a turn for the weird.
I’m not used to my nights with Tyler being even a little bit weird, so the fact that this one is weirdness level ten is…
disconcerting. For the past three years, I’ve managed to keep a lid on my feelings for him, and I’m now slightly terrified that the lid is loosening and there’s no way for me to screw it back on.
The sound of pans banging and the refrigerator door opening and closing filter out of the kitchen, so I take the opportunity to hightail it up the stairs as fast as my feet will carry me.
Walking into Tyler’s guest room that doubles as my room for when I’m too tired to go home after movie night, I close the door behind me and flop facedown onto the bed.
If I know Tyler—and I do—he is going to spend the next half hour perfecting our grilled cheese sandwiches, which is lucky for me because I need a distraction from the memory of Tyler’s cock under my ass and the embarrassment of him washing my holey underwear.
I make a mental note—my twelfth of the day—to throw away every single pair of underwear that is not immaculate, lest this happen again, and reach down to pull my phone out of my pocket. This night has been ten different kinds of weird, and I need reinforcements.
Smart Bitches
Me
SOS RED ALERT.
Sarah
At your service, bestie.
Emmy
Thank fucking god. This brief is killing me and I need a distraction.
Caitlin
No, you fucking don’t. Finish the brief, Em.
Emmy
Don’t get your panties in a twist, Cait. It’s barely even ten thirty and Molly doesn’t need the brief until nine tomorrow morning.
You know I do my best work under pressure.
Caitlin
Why do I like you again?
Emmy
Because I bring fun and delight and a certain what will she do next energy to your regimented and boring lawyer life.
Maya
Aren’t you a lawyer too?
Emmy
Yeah, but I’m the fun kind.
Sarah
Sorry Em, I don’t think there is such thing as a fun kind of lawyer.
Caitlin
There definitely isn’t. Lawyering is serious stuff.
Me
OK THIS IS COOL BUT EYES ON ME.
Maddy
It’s sexier when Cam says that to me.
Me
Blah blah blah you’re having all the good sex with the hot football god, we know.
Maddy
You bet I am.
Me
Cool but I legit need help right now.
I accidentally sat on Tyler’s cock like half an hour ago. It was hard.
Maya
Hot damn, finally!
Emmy
I…need more information.
Sarah
I don’t understand, was it a sex thing? Did you trip and fall? How do you accidentally sit on a cock?
Me
Finally nothing. It wasn’t a sex thing. It was an accident involving me making fun of him for his DVD collection and him tickling me until I could barely breathe and I ended up in his lap and when I did HIS COCK WAS FUCKING HARD.
I felt it between my ass cheeks.
Maya
And?
Me
I didn’t hate it.
Fuck.
I need to get a grip. Help me get a grip because I’m upstairs in his guest room right now ostensibly changing into pajamas.
Caitlin
What are you actually doing?
Me
Lying face down praying for the good lordess to take me because after I sat on his dick Tyler told me he washed the pajamas I left here last week, including my underwear with holes in the crotch.
Caitlin
I’ve told you to get rid of those, Soph. No twenty-six-year-old woman should be wearing underwear with holes. Not when you can buy so much underwear without holes with two taps of your phone.
Actually, I just placed the order for you. You’ll have eight new pairs tomorrow by 9pm.
Me
CAITLIN PARKER YOUR JUDGMENT AND RATIONALITY HAVE NO PLACE HERE.
And thanks. I definitely would have forgotten and Tyler definitely would have ended up washing my holey underwear again.
Big ugh.
Maddy
What do you need, Soph?
Sarah
Anything, honey girl. We are here to help.
Maya
If it’s in my power, it’s yours.
Me
Someone to help me commit murder? A getaway car driver for after I kill Tyler for making fun of my underwear? One of those flashy memory-wiper things from Men In Black so I can erase the moment I accidentally fell for my best friend? Or maybe erase Tyler’s memory of my holey underwear?
I don’t know. I’ve just had two of my most embarrassing moments ever in the last twenty minutes. I’m spiraling more than usual.
Emmy
Well, it’s really cold outside, which means icicles, which means the perfect murder weapon is readily accessible.
Caitlin
That’s a myth. Icicles are too fragile to be used as murder weapons. Poison is a much better option.
Maddy
It only terrifies me a little bit that you have that information at your disposal.
Me
Okay, look, I don’t actually want to kill him. It’s just been a really weird night. I’m not used to my nights with Tyler being weird.
Sarah
I know you aren’t and I’m sorry this one is. Want me to come get you? We can get tacos on the way home and bitch about men being trash.
Maya
If you’re doing a taco bitch session I’m coming too.
Emmy
Another bad date?
Maya
He asked me if I became a teacher because it’s an easy career to balance with kids at home.
Sarah
Fucking gross.
Maya
Hence the need for tacos. Queso too. So much queso.
Sarah
Soph, you in? I can get in the car right now.
Me
I love you for this, but Tyler is in the kitchen making grilled cheese, entirely oblivious to my existential crisis, so I think I’m going to hang here.
Caitlin
I’m just going to say one thing.
Maddy
Uh oh.
Emmy
Mom’s about to come in hot with some wisdom.
Caitlin
Don’t discount the idea that Tyler might be harboring some feelings of his own.
Me
All I want to do is discount that idea. And also grab onto it and will it into existence.
Hence the dating app.
Sarah
Oh hey, I forgot about the dating app!
How’s it going with football guy?
Me
I…don’t hate it. At the very least, it’s a decent distraction.
Maddy
The one question a day thing is cute as fuck.
Maya
It’s better luck than I’ve ever had on a dating app.
Emmy
Keep us posted. I’m dying to hear what kind of question he comes up with next.
Me
I really love you guys.
Caitlin
We’re always here for you.
Always, Soph.
Emmy
Smart Bitches forever!
Sarah
And if you need me to come bust you out of there on account of the weirdness, just send another SOS. Doesn’t matter what time.
Me
I needed this. I’m going to try and salvage the rest of this night and turn it non-weird.
Maddy
Keep us posted, Soph.
Me
Always.
Tossing my phone onto the bed, I sit up, feeling less chaotic after talking to my friends.
Tyler might be one of my most important people, but I would simply not be able to function in life without my girls.
Determined to do exactly what I said I would do and turn the rest of this night non-weird, I stand from the bed and walk over to the dresser where I keep extra clothes for nights I sleep here.
When I pull open the top drawer, I stare at it for a second before bursting out laughing.
Because there, sitting right on top of my folded green pajamas with lines of computer code printed on them and the pink knee socks I like to wear to bed is a pair of bright red underwear with Laundry Day written across the ass, my old holey underwear nowhere in sight.
Maybe it’s weird that he bought me new underwear, especially since they’re exactly the right size, which means he studied my old ones closely enough to figure that out.
And maybe my heart does a tiny thud at this little act of care.
The way Tyler knows me well enough to know this would make me laugh.
The fact that he did my laundry in the first place because he knows me well enough to know I hate watching movies in actual clothes and would probably forget to bring new pajamas.
Maybe—probably—Tyler and I will never be more than what we are.
But as I pull on the clean pajamas and head into the bathroom to wash my face with my favorite face wash I know will be sitting on the sink waiting for me, I think for the millionth time that what we are is pretty great.
And even though it might be less than what I sometimes wish for, it’s still my favorite thing in the world.