Chapter 26 #2
“It was good,” I say carefully. “Very, very good. There are a handful of candidates, but I think I’m at the top of the list. Last week I had a second round with a different team, and I got to meet some of the people whose work I’ve been studying for years.
They told me they’ve been following my career, too.
Paying attention to what I’ve been doing at the foundation.
I almost died.” I shake my head. “Died Tyler. Literally. Like, these are people at the absolute top of the field, and they were telling me how much they’ve learned from the programs we’ve been implementing over the last few years.
I thought maybe it was just because of my dad, but then they said they don’t even use the Redwood phone. They don’t like it.”
Tyler laughs. “You better not tell Gabe.”
“Right? He’ll mope around about it for days.”
Tyler squeezes my finger with his. “That all sounds amazing, Soph. So, what’s the problem?”
I exhale slowly. Of course he would pick up on there being a problem.
This man knows me right down to my bones.
Squeezing back, I bring my eyes to his. “The problem is the job is in San Francisco.” I see the second my words land.
The hitch in his breath. The tightening of his jaw.
Bringing my free hand to his face, I tell him the rest. “It literally didn’t even occur to me at first. I mean, I obviously know where the company is headquartered, but before the first interview, I was so focused on the fact that they reached out at all that I didn’t think about the location.
But since the first interview, I can’t think of anything else. ”
“So, you would have to move to California.” Tyler says the words slowly.
Carefully. But I feel the tremble in the hand on my hip before he opens and closes it methodically, holding it low to the blanket like he’s trying to hide the movement from me.
I see the way his chest heaves just a little, like he can’t quite get enough air, the low-level panic in his eyes that makes my own eyes burn and my chest ache.
Leaning in, I wrap my arms around him, bringing my mouth to his ear. “Breathe, Ty,” I say softly, stroking the soft hair at his nape. “Be here with me and just breathe.” I start to take deep breaths, and before long, I feel him match his own to the cadence of mine, his arms tight around my waist.
“I’m sorry.” His voice is ragged as he presses his lips to the spot below my ear.
I hold onto him tighter. “You don’t ever have to apologize. Not to me and definitely not for this. Never, ever for this.”
“Sometimes my brain just…rebels. Like I don’t have any control over my thoughts.
They spin in circles and move too fast for me to grab onto any single one.
My stomach knots up, and I can’t keep my body still, and I feel like if I don’t move I’ll crawl out of my own skin.
” Tyler says the words slowly. Carefully.
Like he’s trying them on for size, and I know without consciously knowing that this is the very first time he’s giving voice to these thoughts.
That I’m the first person he’s ever told.
It feels both monumental and not, somehow, to be sharing secrets like this. Because even in this moment—this night—where everything is different, we’re still us, and there is a soul settling sort of truth to that.
“I know,” I say quietly, pressing a kiss to the side of his head and stroking my fingers over the back of his neck. “I’ve always known. Because I know you. Even before I loved you the way I love you now, I knew you.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” he asks, voice laced with emotion.
I pull back enough to see his face, gliding my fingers over the furrow between his brows until it smooths out under my touch.
“It was yours to tell, Tyler. I figured if you weren’t talking about it, you had a reason, but that didn’t stop me from helping you when I saw you struggling.
I would never let you struggle alone if there was something I could do to make it better. ”
Tyler studies me, and I can see him putting the pieces together. “The texts before games. The way you’re always in the stands.”
I nod with a smile. “I would be at the games anyway because, football, but I always thought it would be helpful for you to have familiar faces in the stands. As for the texts, once, in high school, I asked you what you did in the locker room before games, and you were weirdly cagey about it. I got curious so I asked around, and some of your teammates told me you spent the time mostly alone. That’s unusual for you, so I wondered if maybe the hour before games is an anxious time for you.
I thought maybe if I texted you something weird or funny or just said hi, you would know I was thinking about you.
I couldn’t control your brain, but I thought maybe it would make you feel less alone.
Then the habit kind of stuck. You were away at college for years and you have away games now and then.
I can’t always be with you, but this way I can let you know I wish I was.
I thought it would help. It helped me too.
Having that connection to you even when we had to be apart. ”
“It did help,” Tyler says, leaning in and pressing his lips to mine.
The kiss is warm and sweet and full of love and gratitude, and I wonder if I will ever be over this night.
Unlikely. “It does. I love you, Sophie. So fucking much. I’m sorry my fucked up brain interrupted your big moment.
Tell me more about the job. I want to know everything. ”
I kiss one corner of his mouth, then the other.
“I love your fucked up brain, and you didn’t interrupt anything.
There isn’t much more to tell. I have a third interview on Thursday, and I don’t know how many more after that.
The process is a long one, but they said they’re determined to get it right the first time. ”
Tyler grins at me, all traces of anxiety gone. “And they think you’re what’s right. Of course they do, because you are. You’re brilliant and you would be amazing. This is a huge deal, Soph. A massive opportunity for you.”
I shrug, feelings of thrill and dread twining together inside of me. “They might think I’m what’s right for them, but I don’t know if they’re what’s right for me.”
“Why do you say that?” Tyler asks, smoothing his hands up and down my thighs. The feel of his hands on me clears my brain enough to put my thoughts into some semblance of order.
“Because they’re thousands of miles away from here.
” I wave my hand around the backyard. “This isn’t four years away for college, Ty.
This is picking up and moving across the country for a forever kind of job when my entire life is here.
A job I already love. My family. My friends.
” I look up into the most perfect face I love more than anything or anyone in the world. “You.”
Tyler smiles, taking my hands, winding our fingers together. “You’ll always have me, no matter where you are.”
I take his sweetest words and tuck them into my heart to keep forever. I think I’m going to love being loved by Tyler Hansley. “I know. But we’re just getting started, and your job is here, and the idea of leaving?” I shake my head. “I don’t like it at all.”
Tyler brings our joined hands to his lips, kissing each of my fingers.
“I don’t like it either. But I do love the idea of you getting to share your incredible, badass brilliance with the world.
I love watching you shine, and I want you to have every opportunity you deserve.
Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. We’ll always be us, Soph.
Time and distance won’t change that. It couldn’t.
We’ll figure it out,” he repeats. “Together.”
“Together,” I say, trying the word on for size.
Tyler nods with a smile. “Together. Forevs, Sal.”
I smile, bringing his hand to my lips. “Forevs, Harry,” I say, watching as his eyes soften, emotion rolling through the beautiful blue.
Tyler lets go of one of my hands and slides his free hand onto my cheek, leaning in to kiss me again.
It’s like an exhale, this kiss. The relief of sharing secrets long kept.
The knowledge that whatever happens, we’ll face it together.
And even though the idea of leaving him has a hollow pit forming right in the center of my chest, in this moment, we’re both right here in this place, and that feels like enough for now.
Tyler is mine.
My heart practically leaps with the joy of it.
“Oh my fucking god! Juliette, get out here! It’s happening!”
Tyler and I whip apart at the sound of Asher’s gleeful voice, the thunder of feet as he bounds down the deck stairs like an excitable puppy, and he sounds so much like the man I love more than life that I laugh against Tyler’s lips.
Tyler just kisses me one more time, and I feel his lips curve into a smile. “I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.”
I laugh, pressing my forehead to his. “Sooner works for me.”
He pulls back, looking at me with a grin. “Yeah?”
I shrug, my grin matching his. “I mean, I’ve been waiting three years for you to get your shit together. I think it’s safe to say I don’t have much interest in slow.”
“Who’s taking what slow?” Asher demands. “We’ve been waiting for the two of you to get together for twenty years now. Don’t you think that’s slow enough?”
Tyler and I both look up to see Asher standing over us, hands on his hips and a beaming grin on his face.
I start to shift off Tyler’s lap into a less…
compromising position, but he locks an arm around my waist to hold me exactly where I am.
“No way, Sal,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the space below my ear, chuckling when I bite back a gasp.
“You stay right here. I want you close to me.”
“Shit,” I mutter. “I think swoony Tyler is going to kill me.”
I love it.
“Count on it, baby.”
Baby. Fuck. I’m definitely dead.
“Yeah, Molly, they’re here.” Tyler and I both turn as Julie trots down the deck stairs, phone pressed to her ear. “I think Ash caught them kissing in the backyard.”
“You bet I did!” Asher calls.
Tyler snickers, spinning me around so I’m settled between his legs, my back to his chest, his arms tight around me, and I am so in love with this night I could die.
“Gotta go, Mol. I’ll call you later with an update.
” Julie hangs up the phone and stands next to Asher, linking an arm though his.
“Took you long enough,” she says, smirk aimed directly at Tyler.
“And you,” she says to me, smirk turning into a full-blown smile. “Looks like you finally got your man.”
“You bet I did,” I say with a grin, leaning my head back on Tyler’s shoulder and turning my head to wink at him. “He may have been a little slow on the uptake, but I’ve got him now.”
“You sure do,” Tyler murmurs, his breath warm against my ear.
Asher kneels, taking one of my hands in his.
“I love you like you’re my own, Soph. I’m so happy for both of you.
And I was kidding about waiting for you to get together for twenty years.
Not that we haven’t been waiting because we totally have.
It was always going to be the two of you.
But everything happens in its right time, and it looks to me like this is exactly the right time for both of you. ”
A possible move across the country makes this potentially the worst time, but with Tyler’s arms around me and his lips grazing my hair, I decide not to care about that right now. Because Tyler was right before. We can figure anything out, as long as we get to do it together.
And we do.
Because we’re together.
I wonder if that will ever stop being a thrill, and I really hope it doesn’t. I hope I keep getting thrilled by Tyler Hansley for the rest of my days.
“I get to have Sophie,” Tyler says to his dad. “Which means it is absolutely the right time.” He turns my head back to him with two fingers on my jaw. “I have you,” he says in a low voice. “I’m the luckiest fucking guy on earth.”
“Oh my god, there’s two of you now,” Julie says, looking at Asher with amusement.
Asher chuckles, wrapping an arm around Julie’s shoulders. “Juliette, he learned from the very best.”
“Got that right,” she murmurs, leaning in and kissing him before turning back to us. “So, do you both want to stay out here doing the nostalgia thing for longer, or do you want to come in and have a late-night snack and tell us everything?”
Tyler and I turn to look at each other, having an entire wordless conversation. “I think we’ll stay out here for a little longer,” he says, not taking his eyes off me. “We still have more nostalgia to do tonight.”
Julie bends and kisses Tyler on the head and then me. “Do your nostalgia. But family dinner,” she orders. “Thursday night. I’m inviting everyone.”
“Sounds perfect,” Tyler and I say in unison. Then he leans in to kiss me again, right in front of his parents, and I wonder if life can possibly get any better than this.