Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
TYLER
“Goddammit, I thought they would never leave,” I say, walking out onto my back patio and closing the sliding glass door behind me. It’s a perfect night, the air just a little chilly over a hint of spring, the sky dark and full of stars, Sophie and me and so many hours until morning.
Sophie turns to me from her place on the outdoor couch situated in front of the roaring firepit, and my breath catches in my chest. The bright green of her sweater makes her brown eyes glow, and her face is bathed in firelight.
Her curls tumble down her back in a golden-brown waterfall, and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.
The idea of her moving away from me, of not being able to see her, touch her, hold her, makes my chest ache so badly I have to curl my hands into fists to keep from rubbing the spot over my heart.
I know she feels it too because her eyes are just the tiniest bit sad, her smile smaller than it should be.
Her smile fell like that a few times tonight as we had dinner with our friends, and I hated it every time.
Sophie should always be smiling big.
In four strides, I’m in front of the couch, setting the Dr Pepper I brought out on the side table and taking the spot next to Sophie. She lifts the blanket she’s sitting under, and I slide closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and laying a hand on her face, turning her to me.
“Talk to me, Sal,” I say, rubbing a thumb over the soft skin of her cheek. “Tell me anything. Everything.”
Sophie sighs, leaning into my hand before linking our fingers together and pulling her knees up to her chest. “I guess I didn’t think telling everyone about a hypothetical job I may or may not be offered and a move I may not even make would hit so hard.”
“You did that a lot today,” I guess, thinking of her spending the afternoon with her dad, Liv, and Brian.
She nods. “I told my dad and it was fine, but I wasn’t prepared for everyone here.
I thought we were going to your parents, and I figured that would be all about how you finally figured out how much you love me.
” She grins at me, and I bring her hand to my mouth, kissing her knuckles and smiling at the pretty flush that pinkens her cheeks.
“It was different, though, telling all my most important people that in a few months I might not be living here. Saying it out loud.”
Her voice cracks on the last word, and my heart cracks right along with it.
Never in my entire life have I ever wished for a different job than the one I have.
I love playing football. Being a Renegade, just like my dad was.
Stepping out onto the field every week during the season with Drew and Cam.
The rest of my teammates. Seeing Maddy and Brian on the sidelines and my family in the stands.
Sophie in the stands, wearing my name and number on her back.
It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Even in the offseason, I count the minutes until football is back. I love it so much.
But now I know what it feels like to love something more.
To want something more. And I have a contract that tells me I’m stuck right here.
I can’t tell Sophie I’ll go with her to California if that’s where she decides to be.
That we can build a life anywhere because all that matters is us doing it together.
If she decides to go, I still have to stay.
There aren’t words for how much I hate that, but I set those feelings aside because this isn’t about me.
This is about her, and I want her to do everything.
To have everything she wants. Even if having everything means she has it thousands of miles away from me.
Leaning in, I press a soft kiss to her lips. “You know it’s going to be okay, right? Whatever you decide.”
“Is it?” she asks, giving a small laugh. “My entire life is right here, and we just got started. It feels crazy to even consider walking away from that.”
I smile, squeezing her finger with mine when her eyes stray to the fire, staring at it like she might find her answers somewhere in its depths.
“It’s not crazy to follow your dreams. To take a risk and do something big and maybe a little scary.
This will always be your home. Your safe place to land.
” I reach over with my free hand and tuck a curl behind her ear, waiting until she’s looking back at me before I say this next thing.
“I will always be your safe place to land. There is no place on earth you could go, no amount of time you could be away from me, that would make that less true. You wouldn’t be walking away from me because I love you means always.
Forever. It might have taken me some time to catch up, but now that I’m here, this is where I’ll always be.
You can dream and fly and do big, important things with your brilliant, beautiful brain and I’ll never stop being here, loving you, cheering you on, and waiting for you to come back home.
You’re it for me, Soph. My family, my best friend, the love of my damn life.
And no matter what happens, what you decide, where you go, I’ll always be right here by your side. ”
Sophie takes a shaky breath, even as her lips tip up in the sweetest smile. “God, I love you. I thought I knew what it would be like if we ever finally got together, but it’s nothing like I imagined.”
“In a good way?” I ask, palming her calf over the blanket and running my thumb back and forth.
She covers my hand with hers. “In the best way.” She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “There’s something else though.”
I knew there was, but I was waiting for her to bring it up, appreciating that she didn’t share it with everyone. That she was waiting to give it to me first. “What happened at the interview today, Soph?”
She sighs, seeming to steel herself for whatever is coming next. “It was good. Great, even.” She pauses, as if to collect her thoughts. “They want me. They aren’t considering anyone else. I don’t know if they were before, but they aren’t now.”
My heart clenches, a curious mixture of love and pride and dread all winding up inside me. “Of course they aren’t. There’s no better person than you. They would be crazy to look at anyone else. So, what happens now?”
“They invited me out to California, to tour the office, meet the rest of the team. Get the lay of the land, they said.” She shrugs. “They thought seeing the office would help me make a decision.”
I nod, even though I have to will my hands not to shake at the thought of her leaving even for a couple of days. Because this could be the trip that takes her away from me, and my brain doesn’t know how to process that reality.
Not about me, I remind myself. “That makes total sense. When do they want you to come out?”
Her hands flex in mine, a sad sort of smile curving her lips. “That’s the thing. Apparently, these are very important people with very full calendars that involve all kinds of international travel, and there is literally only one day that works for them in the next month.”
Somehow, I know what she’s going to say before she even says it, and I hate it times a million. “It’s April tenth, isn’t it?”
Sophie smiles a little, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Yeah. They want to fly me out on the ninth and have me spend the day in the office on the tenth. I tried to get them to agree to another day. Literally any other day. But they had zero flexibility, and Jesus, you should see these guys when they want you to do something. They give you a choice, but they aren’t actually giving you a choice, you know?
And they did it in such a non-asshole way I can’t even get mad and step up onto my feminist soapbox about men who dare to explain things to me.
Instead, I’m just sad. It’s birthday night.
The first one we wouldn’t be together for in fifteen years.
” She shakes her head. “I don’t think I can do it. ”
Setting my own roiling emotions aside, I pick Sophie up and settle her onto my lap, pressing a kiss to her head when she curls into me, lingering there, trying to memorize the smell of her shampoo, the way she feels in my arms, the feel of her fingers as they trace circles on my chest. “You have to do it,” I say, running my hand up and down her arm.
“We’ll celebrate both our birthdays when you get back and make it the best birthday night of our lives.
I swear we will. We’ll turn back the calendar and pretend it’s the tenth no matter what the date is, and no one will be able to tell us any differently.
But first you have to go and see what it’s all about.
Not just because they didn’t give you a choice.
Because this is a huge opportunity for you, and you deserve absolutely everything.
Maybe you’ll hate it and then your decision will be made.
” Please hate it, I think in a silent plea.
“But either way, you have to go out there and see.”
Sophie is silent for a beat before she shifts in my lap, rising to straddle me, her legs bracketing my thighs and her eyes boring into mine.
The air between us grows heavy and thick, my heart thudding in my chest as I study the face I know as well as I know my own.
The face I know, without one single doubt, I will love for the rest of my days.
“I love you,” she says again, her words quiet and intense.
“I thought I knew what it meant to love you, but it turns out I didn’t know anything at all. ”