Chapter Five
SHAUNA FINISHED DRESSING for her pole class and sat on her bed to put on her sneakers Tuesday morning, when she heard Brian heading into the bathroom.
She hated the feeling of dread settling into her chest, but the last few months had been a torturous roller coaster of broken promises and arguments, leaving her heartbroken and scared for her best friend and equally angry and resentful toward him.
He no longer tried to hide the fact that he was drinking, and although he didn’t do drugs around her, there was no missing the telltale signs that he was using again, like how angry and erratic he’d become, his shady disappearances and poorly delivered lies.
She was constantly trying to come up with ways to convince him to get help, but she was running out of ideas.
Lately she’d been taking on extra shifts at the firehouse, going to the gym more often, and taking more pole classes, just to keep from coming home, and she didn’t know how much more of it she could take.
She finished tying her laces, pulled on her hoodie, and pushed to her feet to pin up her hair.
As she reached for an elastic band on the dresser, her gaze caught on the certified letter she’d tucked into her underwear drawer.
She’d received the letter a few weeks ago from her late grandfather’s attorney.
More conflicting emotions swamped her. She’d loved her grandfather, and there had been a time when she’d thought he might want to save her from the nightmare of living with her parents.
But when she’d finally gotten up the courage to ask, it was too late.
He’d heard about her drinking and smoking weed, and he’d wanted no part of trying to help another troubled teen.
He’d seen her as an extension of her father, and she’d validated it with every beer she drank and every joint she smoked.
Her hopes had been shattered, and not long after that he’d disappeared from their lives.
Leave it to her grandfather to give her the means to help Brian wrapped in a mousetrap she’d never get caught in.
He’d left her fifty thousand dollars with the caveat that she be alcohol and drug free for a year and happily married for two months.
She’d seen too many marriages turn into nooses around people’s necks to ever put herself in that situation.
Not even for Brian. She’d find another way to help him.
She had to.
As she pinned up her hair, taking one last glance in the mirror, she remembered when she couldn’t stand to see her reflection.
Back then, she’d looked as defeated as she’d felt.
Every feature had screamed of her unhappiness and substance abuse, from her bloodshot eyes and gray skin to her lifeless hair and drooped shoulders.
Now she was proud of the confident, strong, clear-eyed woman in the mirror, with radiant skin and full, shiny hair, though her eyes were currently shadowed by worries about Brian.
Admiring herself wasn’t an act of conceit or misplaced values. It was a measure of appreciation for how far she’d come and another reminder that she never wanted to go back to the person she’d been.
As I’m proud of you played in her mind, her thoughts traipsed back to Zander.
She was anything but proud of the way she’d hightailed it away from him yesterday.
After the accident, she’d secretly visited him in the hospital nearly every day while he was sedated, trying to figure out why she felt so connected to him.
When she’d seen him breathing on his own, she’d forced herself to stop visiting and hadn’t gone back.
But she’d never stopped thinking about him.
Lord knew she’d tried, but he’d plagued her thoughts like an unsolvable puzzle for the past few months.
When she’d seen him at Cumberland Farms, standing right in front of her, as tall and strong as a towering oak instead of out cold in a hospital bed, she’d felt caught, and it had knocked her completely off-kilter.
“Hey, Shauna, you up?” Brian called through her bedroom door.
Closing her eyes for a second, she said, “Yeah. I’ll be right out.
” She had no idea what shape he’d be in this morning.
He’d come home last night after she’d already gone to bed, but she’d heard him stumbling around.
Bracing for today’s battle, she pocketed her phone and reminded herself to stay calm, which was getting increasingly difficult.
At least they’d been blessed with a sunny day.
She headed out of the bedroom and opened the front windows on her way to the kitchen, where Brian was staring into the barren refrigerator.
Without his help with the rent for the last couple of months, she’d had to tighten her belt where she could.
“Good morning,” she said cheerily, hoping for the best.
“Morning.” His voice was rough. “You going shopping today?”
“Yes, but I really need you to find a job and start helping with the rent.”
“This again? Can you please get off my ass?” He closed the refrigerator so hard, she startled.
“Trust me, the last thing I want to do is harass you, but I have bills to pay. Mine and yours. After paying for rent and utilities, my car payment, car insurance, groceries, gas, both of our cell phones, and the gym, there’s nothing left.”
“Give me a break,” he sneered. “You make a boatload of money.”
“I do not, and even if I did, that’s my money. I work my ass off for it.” She didn’t mean to raise her voice and tried to take it down a notch. “Brian, I know you. You need help. Please let me help you.”
“You knew me, but you don’t know shit anymore.” He stalked angrily toward her, breathing hard, his eyes blazing. “You think you’re better than me.”
“I do not, and you know it. I’m worried about you. I hate seeing you like this!”
“Then fucking leave. I don’t need you, and you sure as fuck don’t need me,” he hollered, inches from her face, and for the first time in their lives, she was fearful of what her best friend had become.
Several hard knocks on the front door had them both turning toward the sound.
“This better not be one of your druggie friends,” she said, heading for the door.
“Fuck off.” He plowed past her and tugged the door open, blocking Shauna from seeing around him as he sneered, “Who the fuck are you?”
“I’m Zander Wicked. I’m with Cape Renovations.”
What the…? She moved to see past Brian, and her heart nearly stopped. What was he doing there?
Zander’s gaze shifted to her, moving assessingly over her with as much surprise as concern written all over his too-handsome face.
She realized he’d heard them arguing, and embarrassment washed over her.
Zander turned back to Brian, his jaw clenched, and said, “Claire Burrows said she spoke to Brian and let him know I was coming to fix a few things. Is that you?”
“Shit. I forgot.” Brian grumbled, “She can handle it,” and stormed out the door, knocking into Zander’s shoulder.
Zander’s hands fisted, his chest expanding with a deep inhalation as he watched Brian climb into his car and said, “Is he okay to drive?”
“Yes. He’s just angry. It’s no big deal.” Lies came too easily when it came to covering for Brian, and she hated herself and resented him more with each one.
As Brian peeled away from the curb, Zander turned those blue eyes on her again with a serious expression, but he spoke with a softer tone. “It sure seemed like it was a big deal. Are you okay? I knocked a few times.”
“Mm-hm. I’m fine,” she said, lighter than she felt, trying to play it off like it really was no big deal. But now she felt awkward and embarrassed, because of yesterday and now this. “So, I guess you’re here to fix the leaks?”
“Yeah. Listen, I’m sorry about startling you yesterday. I know this is going to sound crazy, but when I heard you singing, it sounded familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”
Shit. Can today get any more difficult? She wasn’t sure if she should tell him the truth.
She didn’t want him to know she’d visited him in the hospital, so she said, “Sort of. I’m the one who pulled you out of your burning car the day of your accident.
I was at the intersection when it happened, and I stayed with you until the first responders got there. ”
He crossed his arms, studying her. “You pulled me out of a burning car? By yourself?” he asked with disbelief.
“I’m stronger than I look, and I’m an EMT, so I knew what to do.”
“Damn. I thought you were an angel,” he said more to himself than to her. “Did you sing to me?”
Briefly lowering her eyes in embarrassment, she said, “Maybe.”
“You really are my angel.” The smile taking over his face was unfairly captivating. “What did you sing?”
“You’re asking a lot of questions. Do you really want to know?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
He was so earnest, she almost laughed. “I sang ‘Keep Holding On’ by Avril Lavigne. It’s kind of my go-to song when I need strength.
You were in pretty bad shape, and I thought it might help you.
I should have said something yesterday, but you caught me off guard.
The last time I saw you, you were out of it, and suddenly you’re standing there, full of life. I didn’t know what to say.”
“‘Hello’ is usually a good place to start,” he said smoothly. “What’s your name, Angel?”
The way he called her Angel felt as intimate as a touch. No wonder he was the town crush. He was disarmingly charming, and she was enjoying it. “Shauna.”
“Shauna…?” He cocked a brow.
“Flores.” As much as she was enjoying talking to him and still wanted to know why she felt like she knew him beyond the accident, she didn’t want to miss her class since she’d already paid for it.
“I don’t want you to think I’m ditching you again, but do you need me to stick around to let you inside?
Or to save you if you fall off a ladder? Because I’m late for a pole class.”
“No. I’m good. Wouldn’t want you to miss pole class.” The glint in his eyes was pure trouble.
The kind of trouble that made her want to stay, which was exactly why she had to leave. “Great. Then I’m going to take off.” She grabbed her keys from the foyer table and stepped outside, closing the door behind her. “Thanks for fixing the leaks.”
“Thanks for saving my life,” he said as they descended the steps.
She headed for her car. “Just doing my part to keep the single women around here happy.”
He laughed. “Like I said, you’re my angel.”
As she climbed into her car, she was laughing, too, and it felt really good to have something to laugh about.