Chapter Twelve #2
He gathered the empty cans and fished a picture of Shauna and Brian out from under the shattered glass on the floor.
Their arms were slung around each other’s shoulders.
A dainty gold bracelet with a dangling triangular charm shimmered on Shauna’s wrist. It was hard to believe the clean-cut, clear-eyed guy in the photo was the same unshaven, wasted man on the bed.
Every ounce of Zander wanted to judge him, to find him unworthy of Shauna. But he knew better, and the light in Shauna’s eyes in that photo told him he was doing the right thing.
AS SHAUNA DROVE Zander’s truck to her house, she was sick with embarrassment and too many conflicting emotions to wrap her head around.
She had been ready to give Brian a piece of her mind when she’d heard him yelling through the door, but when she’d seen him looking like he’d crawled out of the gutter, her heart had broken.
In that moment, she was glad Zander was standing between them, because she’d been fighting the urge to go to Brian and make sure he was okay, and that would have made him think what he’d done was acceptable.
She tried to push all of that aside and pull herself together as she parked in front of her house and hurried inside.
The living room was a pigsty, with bags of chips and other crap on the floor and dirty clothes strewn about.
The armchair was turned the wrong way, and one of the kitchen chairs was knocked over. What the hell had Brian done in there?
It was a harsh reminder of the way they used to live.
She headed down the hall and found Zander kneeling on Brian’s bedroom floor, thumbing out a text. Most of the shattered glass had been picked up, and the picture of her and Brian and the broken frame were on top of the dresser.
Zander looked up and put a finger over his lips, shushing her as he rose to his feet and lifted his chin toward the hallway.
“Shauuuna,” Brian pleaded groggily.
“I’m right here.” She glanced at Zander and whispered, “I’m sorry about all this. You don’t have to stay.”
“I’m not going anywhere, and you’re not going in that room alone with him.”
As much as she wanted to tell him she’d be fine, she no longer fully trusted that she would.
She didn’t recognize this version of Brian.
The guy who sold their television, physically hurt her, and showed up at Zander’s house acting irrationally wasn’t the same kid she’d partied with years ago.
As much as it broke her heart, it also scared her. She appreciated Zander’s insistence.
“Shaun, please,” Brian croaked out. “I’m sorry.”
Zander put a hand on her back. “Sit with him. Tell him whatever he needs to hear so he’ll sleep, and then we’ll talk.”
She nodded, trying to ignore her rattling nerves, and went to sit on the edge of the bed beside Brian.
Zander went back to cleaning the floor, but he watched them intently.
The air buzzed with tension so thick, it sparked, like every iota of his being was on high alert.
He reminded her of a snake, coiled and ready to strike, and she knew if Brian touched her, Zander would strike.
“Shauna?” Brian’s thin, hoarse voice drew her attention.
His eyes fluttered open, the lost look in them tugging at her heartstrings. He reached for her, struggling to sit up. As their arms came around each other, Zander’s jaw tightened, his chest puffing up with a deeper inhalation.
It was all too much, part of her breaking over Brian and part of her undeniably drawn to Zander, though she knew she shouldn’t be. He was just being kind and protective because that’s who he was. She closed her eyes against all of those feelings and whispered, “I’m here, Brian. I’m right here.”
She sat with him for a long time, and with every word she whispered and every slurred apology and tormented plea Brian eked out, there was no escaping the unbearably sad web they were caught in.
When he finally fell asleep, she and Zander quietly left the room, leaving the door ajar.
Zander put his hand on her back again, giving her the support she hadn’t realized she needed as he led her into the living room.
Her thoughts were reeling. She was angry that Brian had put her in this position and was guilt-ridden over having that thought.
She was on the verge of tears, and at the same time, she wanted to punch something.
Apparently her ability to stay calm in any situation didn’t carry over to this one.
Zander set down the trash he must have carried out of Brian’s room and stepped closer. “You okay, Angel?”
She wrung her hands, knowing what she had to do, but when she looked into Zander’s caring eyes, her throat clogged with emotion.
He must have sensed how overwhelmed she was, because he embraced her, and God, she wanted that comfort, but she put a hand on his chest, pushing free for fear she wouldn’t be able to follow through with what had to be done if she didn’t do it right then.
Steeling herself against all the emotions swamping her, she said, “I’ve never felt unsafe around Brian before. When we were younger, getting wasted turned him into a marshmallow. But now…” She lowered her eyes, feeling like a traitor for admitting it.
Zander pressed his big, rough hands to her cheeks, tilting her face up so she had no choice but to look at him. “It’s scary seeing someone you love become someone you don’t recognize.”
He brushed his thumb over her cheek, gazing deeply into her eyes for so long that fluttery warmth spread through her chest again, and that brought another wave of guilt.
Her best friend was in the process of killing himself, and she was getting lost in Mr. Blue Eyes.
She wrote that off to exhaustion and the overwhelming emotions of the last twenty-four hours, but then he lowered his hands and looked away, as if he’d felt whatever that was, too.
He cleared his throat before facing her again and said, “After we lost Ashley, her best friend, Bethany, got mixed up in drugs. We all tried to help her, but no matter how hard we tried, or what we did, our hands were tied until she was ready.”
“I know that’s how it works,” she said too sharply, annoyed with herself for being attracted to him.
She needed Zander’s help in a much bigger way than tucking Brian in.
“I think Brian’s hit rock bottom. At least I hope so, because I can’t do this anymore.
I’m terrified he’s going to kill himself or accidentally hurt someone else. Is your offer still good?”
“Absolutely. A couple of my brothers are on their way over to stay with Brian. Once they get here, we’ll go back to my place. You can stay as long as you need to while we figure this out and get Brian taken care of.” He started picking up empty bottles and cans from the floor.
Shocked that he’d made arrangements for his brothers to stay with Brian, her misinterpreted question took a back seat. “Why did you drag your family into this? They don’t even know me or Brian.” Too frustrated to stand still, she began picking up, too. “I don’t need them. I can stay with Brian.”
He stopped cleaning up and gave her his full attention.
“You’ve barely slept in two days, and if Brian is using daily, he’s not going to be as apologetic when he wakes up as he was tonight.
He’s going to need a hit, and he’s going to be furious and take it out on anyone standing in his way of getting high, and that is not going to be you.
I assume he’s got drugs on him, or hidden somewhere.
My brothers will make sure he only takes enough to be able to make it through the day until we get this figured out.
This is about safety for you and Brian. If he doesn’t have drugs hidden somewhere, he’s going to be a raving nightmare, and my brothers are far better equipped to handle that than you are. ”
“They’ll get him high?”
“I know it sounds counterintuitive to give him drugs so he can think clearly, but with addicts, it’s the only way.
They’ll give him just enough to take the edge off.
Remember what his withdrawals were like when he wasn’t using every day?
The agony of withdrawing after daily use will be ten times worse, and so will his desperation.
If we have any hope of convincing him to get help, he needs to be able to think past the obsession of getting that next hit. ”
Thank God one of them was thinking clearly.
“You’re right. I wasn’t thinking about how fast the withdrawals would hit, and I definitely don’t want to go through that again.
But can’t you stay with him instead of bringing your brothers into this?
I can stay at your place. I’m not afraid to be alone. ”
“I don’t think you’re afraid.” He closed the distance between them and said, “I don’t know who Brian associates with, who he owes money to, or who he told where he was going tonight. There’s no way in hell I’m going to leave you alone.”
She hadn’t thought about that, either. “You think someone might come looking for money?”
“I don’t put anything past anyone. Blaine’s fiancée Reese’s mother was into drugs, and she owed her dealer a lot of money before she went into rehab. Reese was taking care of her teenage sister, Lettie, and Lettie was abducted by the asshole their mother owed money to.”
“Holy crap. Did Reese get her back? Did he hurt her? Is she okay?”
“We got her back, but not without bloodshed. Mostly inflicted by us on the asshole’s crew, but Blaine took a bullet.”
“Oh my God. He was shot?”
“Yeah. We do what we have to do to protect our own. Look, I’m not trying to scare you, but I’m sure as hell not letting anything happen to you.”
The roar of motorcycles interrupted them, and her nerves kicked up even more.
“That’s them.” He held her gaze and said, “I promise you’ll feel safer knowing they’ve got your back, too.”