Chapter Twenty-Five
THE CAR IDLED at a red light, the music low, and as happened often at crossroads, Shauna’s thoughts took her back to the morning of that dreadful crash.
For the millionth time, she pondered why she’d been so drawn to Zander, she kept going back to see him at the hospital.
Even then, it had felt like there was something bigger at play. Something unavoidable and important.
It had only been a week since they had gotten married, but somewhere along the line, real life had started to blur with the fake one they were playing up when they were in public.
They’d gone to the Salty Hog last weekend for lunch, and what had started as simple hand-holding had turned into an arm around her shoulder, cheek kisses, and whispered inside jokes.
All of which were in plain sight of Ginger, Conroy, and Zander’s friend Starr, a sassy blond waitress who, Shauna learned, was also a member of the book club.
Shauna didn’t hate this game she and Zander were playing, but it was dangerous.
They’d gone for a walk on the beach the other night, and she’d caught herself reaching for his hand when they passed a group of people, as if he was hers.
They’d also done such a good job of convincing the guys at work that their relationship was real, they tossed around Zander’s name as often and as casually as they talked about Howie’s wife.
And it wasn’t just happening in public. Their home lives no longer felt separate.
The changes happened quietly, nestled between work shifts, shared meals, inside jokes, and texts that had gone from funny videos to messages that arrived at just the right moment after a rough call or when she was thinking about him. Missing him.
She told herself the anticipation of seeing him in the mornings, the comfort she took in the scent of his bodywash in the shower and the feel of his hand on her back or the sound of his guitar, and the thrill when he came home after work, dirty and tired, and lit up when he saw her, were normal for roommates.
But she knew they weren’t. She’d never felt those kinds of thrills when she and Brian were together.
That was the other thing that was rocking her to her core.
It had only been a week, and she wasn’t stressing over Brian.
She felt a little guilty about that, but at the same time, she was realizing how much energy she’d put into worrying about him.
She’d carried the weight of his addiction for both of them, and it was nice not to be the one worrying for a change.
She didn’t need to be taken care of, but she liked when Zander made her coffee or asked after her.
He’d even left flowers tucked beneath her windshield wiper one day when she was at work.
She was no expert on romance, but the things he did and said felt like the most romantic things in the world.
Then there were those electrically charged moments between them when the air was so thick with desire, she could taste it.
Sometimes that happened when they were just being lazy on the couch, not touching or talking, but watching a movie or when she was doing a word search and he was trying to distract her in that adorably charming way he had.
Their eyes would lock, and they’d both fall silent.
She’d had to force herself to stop looking at the pictures from the wedding, because she couldn’t stop staring at them, scrutinizing them for real emotions versus simply being swept up in the moment.
Someone honked, jerking her out from her reverie, and she swore for the millionth time she was turning off those feelings before things became any more complicated.
By the time she reached Zander’s house, she’d pushed them down deep and chained them under lock and key for good measure. She grabbed her bag, and as she headed up to the walk, Zander came out carrying a duffel bag and a big suitcase, looking hot as sin in his usual jeans, T-shirt, and leather cut.
“Hey, darlin’. Perfect timing.”
“Are you going away?”
“Sure am.”
The pit of her stomach sank as he put the luggage in the backseat of his truck.
So much for chaining down those feelings.
She was naive to think he was feeling the same thing she was.
He was just better at the game than she was.
It made sense. He was a player, even if she’d let herself forget it for a little while.
He was probably going away to find someone to hook up with where nobody would think he was cheating on his fake wife.
Trying to hide her disappointment as he headed inside with her, she said, “How long will you be gone?”
“Just the weekend,” he said, walking past her and heading down the hallway.
Kitty wound around Shauna’s feet. She set down her backpack and picked her up. “Guess it’s just you and me this weekend.”
“Mads is picking up Kitty in an hour,” he called out.
She held Kitty a little tighter. “You don’t trust me to watch her?”
“Sure I do.” He came out of the hall carrying her pillow.
“Hey, that’s my pillow.”
“Yup,” he said on his way outside.
She hurried after him. “You can’t take my pillow. I need it.” Ignoring her, he tossed it in the truck. “Zander, I’m too tired for games. Take your own pillow.”
“It’s already in the truck.” He smiled coyly. “You’re adorable when you scowl.”
“Don’t try to charm me. Why are you stealing my pillow?”
“I thought you might want it on our honeymoon. I know you’re tired, but we’ve got a long drive, and you can sleep on the way.
I’ve got your pillow, a blanket, snacks, your word search books, and I picked up a paperback of the book you’re reading for the book club.
Why don’t you put Kitty back inside and make sure I didn’t forget anything you want to bring. ”
“Our honeymoon?” Her lips twitched, wanting to join her overzealous heart, but the truth held it back. “You know this isn’t that kind of marriage.”
“Sure.” His tone was casual, but as he took her left hand in his and slid her rings onto her finger, he said, “But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve one,” like he meant every word.
He was making their marriage of convenience feel hauntingly real.
“Besides, it’ll make us more believable,” he said, and swatted her ass. “Now, go do your thing so we can get out of here.”