Chapter Thirty
SHAUNA KNEW THE damage motorcycles could do, the way twisted metal and broken bodies shattered lives.
She should be tensing at every bump, bracing for every turn, but she wasn’t.
Zander had gone over what to expect, and he’d told her to tap his stomach if she wanted to stop.
He’d said that tap was like her safe word, which had made her laugh, but it had also made her feel like she had a modicum of control.
She hadn’t realized she’d needed that control, but she was glad he had.
She was still reeling from the gifts he’d given her.
She probably should have given him a hard time for giving her a jacket that basically announced she was his property.
But the part of her that she hadn’t realized existed until he came into her life and treated her like she was special and worth protecting melted every time he called her Angel and liked being his Angel.
The soft leather jacket and the shiny helmet fit perfectly, and when she’d wrapped her arms around Zander, feeling his strength and confidence, that had felt perfect, too, and her fears had fallen away with the wind.
It didn’t make sense. Nothing about them did, but when they were together, whether they were hanging out at home or knocking around town—or apparently, if she was in his arms or on the back of his bike—she felt safer than she ever had.
Zander was giving her a lot of never have I ever moments.
Like this glorious ride. As the world sped by, more vibrant and beautiful than ever, she’d never felt more at peace, or more invincible.
That, she knew, wouldn’t be possible without that feeling of safety.
She soaked in the views as they drove through one small town after another, reveling in the feel of Zander’s muscles flexing against her chest and beneath her hands.
The powerful, controlled shift of his weight and the heat blooming in all the places their bodies touched combined with the vibration of the engine in a new kind of foreplay.
This must be the freedom he was talking about, because she couldn’t hold on to a single worry right now if she wanted to.
He turned down a rural road. Trees arched overhead and sunlight flashed through the canopies.
When the trees gave way to grassy fields and meadows, they rounded a bend, and as they came out of it, they drove beneath an arched metal sign that read Welcome to Wildside, and just beyond, a sprawling adventure park came into view.
Shauna spotted a roller coaster in the distance, and two tall towers.
Excitement bubbled up inside her as they cruised into the parking lot.
Zander parked and cut the engine, but Shauna’s body continued vibrating as he pulled off his helmet and climbed off the bike.
He raked his hand through his thick dark hair, his entire being radiating new light, as if the ride had rejuvenated him, too.
As he locked his helmet to the handlebar, she took off hers and shrugged out of her jacket.
“There’s my beautiful wife,” he said, helping her off the bike.
Her stomach had been dipping all day at the way wife rolled off his tongue so easily.
Now it dipped for a whole new reason. With the exception of the day of their wedding, she’d never been called beautiful before, much less painfully beautiful, the way Zander had last night, when he’d looked at her in the same way he was looking at her now. Like he truly believed it.
“I hope this is okay,” he said. “I thought it would be fun to do some of the things you missed out on as a kid.”
Her heart stumbled. “It’s better than okay. It’s perfect.”
“Great.” He locked her helmet to the bike and tucked her jacket into the saddlebag. “What’s the verdict on the motorcycle ride? Still willing to be my ride or die?”
“That depends. If I say no, are we going to leave without going in there?”
“I’m not that callous.” He smirked. “I’ll let you have your fun, but I might have to leave you in the woods on the way out.”
“How do I drive this thing again?” She started to climb back on the bike.
He laughed and pulled her into his arms, pinning her with a playful gaze. “Spill it, Flores. Did you hate the ride?”
“No. I liked it too much.”
“Impossible. There’s no such thing, and I kind of dig that liking things with me is a recurring theme for you.”
“Don’t let it go to your head or anything,” she teased. “I thought the ride would feel reckless and dangerous, but it didn’t. I felt free, like nothing could touch me and anything was possible.”
He tilted his handsome face up to the sky and said, “Yes!”
She loved seeing him so happy. “But I can see how people could end up driving too fast and get caught up in what’s around them instead of focusing on the road.”
“It’s different when you’re the driver. I’m more focused on the road and hazards when I’m on my bike than I am when I’m driving a car or truck. And with you on the back, I’m a thousand times more careful than I am when I’m alone.”
“Well, since you’re my husband now, could you please pay more attention to the road when you’re alone?”
“Careful, Angel. Sounds like you’re starting to catch feelings for me.”
Feeling too seen, she said, “Don’t flatter yourself,” and stepped out of his arms, seeking safer territory. “I just don’t want you to kick off until after you teach me to ride.”
“I’ll try not to, darlin’.” He draped an arm over her. “Let’s go have some fun.”
Gravel crunched under their feet as they made their way into the park.
The scent of popcorn and hot dogs wafted around food stands, while bells and whistles drifted out of an arcade, mingling with the din of the crowd and the whirr of go-karts and other rides.
In the distance, people whipped along ziplines from the high towers she’d seen.
Her nerves pinged. Not just from the excitement of being there but from the quiet war waging inside her.
This trip, and this man and his family and his help, was all so unexpected and over the top, she felt like she was stealing happiness instead of being offered it.
Zander tightened his arm around her shoulder. “You okay, Flores?”
“Yeah. Just thinking.”
“Thinking about me can be a dangerous habit.”
She smiled. “I never said I was thinking about you.”
“You didn’t have to.” He nodded to the go-karts. “Ready to get your butt whipped?”
“You really are a dreamer. I’m going to blow you away.”
“I look forward to it.” He winked.
She wrinkled her brow. “You do?”
“Oh, wait, you said away, didn’t you?” He flashed an arrogant grin.
“Zander!” She swatted his arm, but now that enticing image was stuck in her head.
“What?” He laughed. “I heard you say you wanted to blow me and got a little lost in it.” He pulled her closer, speaking gruffly into her ear. “Bet you’re thinking about me now.”
He was irresistibly wicked, but she’d never tell him that.
They made their way to the track and waited for their turn. When the gate opened, Zander swatted her ass as she walked through it, sending sparks skittering through her. She glowered at him and climbed into a go-kart.
He leaned in, his fingers brushing her arm. “I’m coming for you, wifey.”
“Don’t you always?” she retorted, earning a sexy laugh and a toe-curling kiss that left her a little dazed as he sauntered off like a proud peacock to his own go-kart.
That dazed feeling was quickly replaced with adrenaline as they raced around the track, egging each other on.
Zander flashed that infuriatingly charming, smug grin that dared her to try harder, and she pushed the pedal to the metal, trying to ignore the completely inappropriate and entirely unhelpful butterflies he caused.
She blew past him, and her all-seeing butterfly-inducing temporary husband looked at her like he knew what she was battling.
She swerved in front of him, and he slipped to the inside lane, slowing to blow her a kiss. Bastard.
By the final lap, she was laughing so hard her ribs hurt. When was the last time she’d laughed like that? In the end, they tied, but she had a feeling that was by his design, which only further endeared him to her.
They went from one ride to the next and hit the arcade, talking over the tinny music and the clatter of tokens.
She beat him in pinball, and his groan of defeat was sweeter than any prize she could’ve won.
She’d forever remember the faint smell of gasoline and river water when they raced other couples in miniature speedboats, shouting to be heard over the roar of the engines, and cheering when they were first to cross the finish line.
It was a whirlwind day of laughter, stolen kisses, and special moments that felt like treasured secrets.
Like when they were waiting for their turn on the zipline.
Launching herself off a platform sixty feet in the air wasn’t her kind of thrill.
Survival was. But as she watched others take the leap, she was buzzing with anticipation and fear, and then Zander’s strong arms circled her from behind.
His scruff brushed against her cheek, and he said, “Scared?”
“Maybe a little,” she admitted. “Is it safe?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I hadn’t checked out their safety record first. But if you want to back out, we can walk right back down those steps.”
He’d checked out their safety record? She didn’t know the man he used to be, the one who didn’t think things through, but he definitely wasn’t that guy with her.
She’d written off risks and adrenaline rushes after getting sober, fearing they might lead to an urge for old habits.
But with Zander, what she desired had nothing to do with escaping life.
He made her want to live it to the fullest and experience the things people who hadn’t spent their childhoods running and hiding had enjoyed.
And she wanted to experience them with him.
She put her hands over his, turning her head so she could see his face, and said, “Okay. I’ll do it. You haven’t led me astray yet.”
“And I never will,” he promised, and then he kissed her.
Desperately trying to shore up the walls that had kept her heart safe for so long, she told herself that he took pride in helping others, and that was all this was. A vow to a friend to keep her safe, just like he’d made the night Brian had hurt her.
Much later, as the sun made a slow descent, they found themselves at the ice cream counter.
Shauna ordered a scoop of chocolate chip, and Zander told the guy to put it in a waffle cone with chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and rainbow sprinkles.
Then he leaned closer to her and said, “I would have made it two scoops, but we have dinner plans,” chipping away at those walls once again.