42. Isabella
42
ISABELLA
M y mouth drops open at Nicco’s threat against his dad. “You’re planning on killing him?”
“If he tries to fight me on taking over, I’m prepared to.” His tone is unwavering.
“Nicco, your dad will never let you take over willingly, so if your plan is to kill him under that circumstance, then that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”
He offers a loose shrug, as if he doesn’t care what he’ll have to do to take over the Silvestri family and be with me. As much as I hate Giuseppe Silvestri, something about Nicco killing his dad over me doesn’t settle well. It causes a churning in my stomach, especially when there’s a voice screaming in the back of my mind that Teo will never allow us to be together in the end.
“You know how my dad is,” Nicco says. “You can’t honestly think I wouldn’t be prepared to take the steps I need to take to ensure we can be together, safely.”
“I don’t know about th?—”
Nicco grabs my hands, stopping me. Gazing deep into my eyes, he says, “Now that I have you back, there’s nothing I won’t do to guarantee our future. This was always the plan. I’ve…”
Searching Nicco’s eyes, I see there’s something else he wants to tell me.
“I promised I wouldn’t keep you in the dark anymore, so I need to be honest with you about something. I’ve always had a plan to get you back, but originally, I was going to wait until after I take over for my dad. The only reason I’ve been able to do it now versus later is because of him.”
I raise a brow at Nicco. “Because of your dad?”
He lets out a long sigh, which has my heart picking up pace. What could his dad possibly have to do with us?
“He has this crazy idea that if I can get you to fall in love with me, then he’ll be able to get access to the ports.”
My mouth falls open. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I know, that’s what I said, but it gave me the opportunity to win you back sooner rather than later, and for that, I’m grateful.”
What the hell is Giuseppe Silvestri thinking? That plan would never work out. The hate for his family that runs through my brothers’ veins is far too strong for that. “I-I just can’t believe your dad thinks my family is that naive.”
“He’s desperate, which is causing him to make bad decisions, but in the end, I got you back.” He squeezes my hands. “I promised I would work on communicating with you. I want to make sure we’re going into this with everything on the table. No secrets between the two of us.”
I swallow deeply, my mouth suddenly parched by his words— no secrets between the two of us . Nicco was honest with me, so it’s my turn to be honest with him. One of the biggest secrets I’ve kept in my life.
Now it’s Nicco’s turn to search my eyes, clearly getting a good read on them. He furrows his brow and says, “What’s wrong? If it’s about my dad, I know it’s not the best reason for us to rekindle our relationship, but?—”
Shaking my head, I say, “No. It’s not that at all. I’m happy you were honest with me about your dad and his intentions. It’s just…” I drop my gaze, nervous to speak the next words to him.
Nicco gently lifts my chin with his fingers, forcing me to meet his gaze once more. “Talk to me, Isabella. Something’s clearly bothering you. Let me help.”
I shake my head, fighting back the tears that threaten to stream down my face. I never thought I’d have to speak these words to Nicco, and now that I’m about to, the emotions are hitting me harder than I thought they would. Is he going to be mad at me for not telling him? Is he going to look at me as less than for not being able to carry his baby?
“I have to be honest with you about something, but I’m scared.”
Nicco drops his hand from my chin and takes mine into his once more. “What is it? You know you can tell me anything.” The concern in his voice is apparent.
“I… I don’t really know how to say this without just coming out and saying it.” My heart is pounding so hard it’s thrumming in my ears. “When you left—before you left—I was… I was pregnant.”
Nicco freezes, and I swear he stops breathing as he takes in that one sentence. Dropping my hands, he stutters out, “W-what?”
His loss of contact hits me hard in the chest, making me feel even more vulnerable than I did before.
He hates me.
Nicco must see the worry wash over my face, because his features soften and he shoots his hands out, wrapping them around mine. “I’m sorry, I just… I don’t understand. Y-you were pregnant ?”
I nod a few times. “I l-lost it.” The trails of tears trickle down my cheeks, the weight of this secret finally being set free taking its toll on me. The weight of the anger and resentment I held over Nicco finally freeing itself from my body. “I was pregnant, but then I lost it. I’m so sorry, Nicco.”
He pulls me into him, and my head falls to his chest while the small sobs take over my body. I thought I was over this, but telling Nicco is like opening the wound all over again, making me feel like it happened just yesterday.
Nicco rubs my back, and the comforting embrace soothes me. Once the tears finally stop flowing, I pull back and gaze into his mournful eyes. “I didn’t find out until a few weeks after you left.” I wipe away my tears with the back of my sleeve and sniffle. “I had no idea I was… until I wasn’t anymore.”
Nicco closes his eyes and sighs deeply before opening them and focusing his gaze on mine. “And you didn’t tell me?”
My heart drops. “I didn’t?—”
“You didn’t tell me because of how I treated you,” he continues. “Fuck!”
I jump at his outburst.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Isabella. I left you alone at a time when you needed me the most. I’m the reason?—”
“No, don’t say it. Don’t say you’re the reason I had the miscarriage. It was early in the pregnancy, and I don’t blame you at all for it happening.”
“How could you not?” he cries out.
“The doctor said I had extremely low progesterone levels. I was bound to have a miscarriage, even if everything that happened between the two of us never did.”
Nicco lets out another long breath and runs his hand through his hair. Dropping his head, he shakes it before bringing his gaze back up to mine. “I still should’ve been there for you. You shouldn’t have gone through that by yourself.”
“I had Liana and my mom,” I utter.
“And I’m glad you did,” Nicco says. Sadness mixed with relief fill his voice. “I’m glad they were there for you when I wasn’t. When I couldn’t be.” Nicco pulls me back into him, holding me tightly and whispers into my hair, “I’m so fucking sorry, my sweet Isabella.”
We hold each other for what feels like forever, making up for the time we’ve lost. When we finally pull away, Nicco says, “I love you. You don’t have to say it back, but they’re words I’ll never stop telling you because I need you to know how much you mean to me. I know I hurt you, Isabella, in more ways than one, but I will spend every day of the rest of our lives proving to you that I’m worthy of your love again.”
My heart squeezes at his words, and I want to say them back, but I find them lodged in my throat, incapable of forcing themselves out no matter how I feel. I can’t avoid the small voice in my head that keeps saying our happily ever after doesn’t exist, but I will at least enjoy the time with Nicco while I can. Because no matter what, in the end, this bubble we’re trying to live in will pop, and I’m not sure my heart will be able to take it again.