Chapter 14
Isabelle
Maybe this was a mistake.
Isabelle fiddled with the microwave popcorn packet, attempting to unwrap the plastic covering, but it slipped through her fingers. Yesterday, Jason had given her something she hadn’t thought possible.
She hadn’t even realized she needed it.
They’d talked about what she wanted—really wanted—out of this life and how she could go about it. The answers surprised her just as much as they seemed to have surprised him.
Isabelle didn’t want to change her career path. She did love working with her family. And there was something to be said about animal therapy.
The emptiness she felt had more to do with finding a better version of herself. To which Jason had suggested she get out of her comfort zone again. He’d asked so many insightful questions about her life leading up to this decision and what she did or didn’t like.
Insomnia was one thing that had changed since the incident at the bar. Along with the nightmares. Running helped to a degree, but she needed more.
And he suggested taking control again.
But she wasn’t sure she was ready for self-defense classes.
Another suggestion came in the form of going out more, spending more time with friends. That thought sent her anxieties into overdrive.
Jason was right, though. If she could grasp onto even a small percentage of that side of her, she’d be content with that.
This desire was what led to tonight’s decision.
Isabelle scooped the popcorn packet from the ground and huffed out a nervous laugh.
She’d told her brothers and sisters that Jason was coming by to watch a movie.
Out of everyone, her sister-in-law was the least surprised, and it made Isabelle wonder if Jason had said anything to indicate that he was interested.
But no. That didn’t make sense. Jason was the most platonic friend she had. He went out of his way to not get too close to her.
Sighing, Isabelle finally shoved the package of popcorn into the microwave. She tapped out the timer, shut the door, and hit start. Then she leaned against the counter and closed her eyes.
It wasn’t surprising that there was a degree of disappointment in the fact that Jason hadn’t made a move. It was small, but there, nonetheless. Out of everyone in her life, Jason was the guy she actually trusted.
“Something you’re not telling me?”
Isabelle jumped at Marcus’s low voice. Her eyes flew open, and she stared at her brother. “What are you talking about?” If he was going to bring up the fact that she was acting strange again, she wasn’t going to be held responsible for her actions.
Marcus braced his forearms on the counter as he studied her. His head was cocked to the side in that infuriating way that made her feel like he could read her mind. “Jason, huh?”
Her eyes narrowed, but she tore her focus from him. Folding her arms, she shook her head. “He’s a friend.”
“Yeah? Does he know that?”
She stiffened and faced him. “What?”
A hint of a smile tugged at his lips, but he didn’t expand on his statement.
Isabelle scoffed, but inside she couldn’t deny the little thrill that ripped through her chest. If Marcus thought he saw something, he wouldn’t lie about it, right? “If there was something between us, what would that matter?”
Marcus shrugged. His behavior was becoming irritating. More than irritating, she wanted to chuck one of the popcorn packets at his head.
Then a thought occurred to her and her stomach dropped. “Did he say something to you?” She’d seen them talking, hadn’t she? And she believed Jason when he said that he didn’t talk about that night with her brother. But that didn’t mean they didn’t talk about her at all.
Had Jason said something about them?
She fought a small smile just as the microwave beeped. Without looking over to her brother, she shrugged. “I don’t have anything to say. He’s here to hang out. And Mateo said everyone has to leave him alone.”
“He didn’t say that.” Marcus laughed.
“Yes, he did—”
“He said we have to be nice. That’s not the same thing.”
Her hands stilled. Shoot. Marcus was right. When she turned to face him, Marcus had left. Well, that was not great. Hopefully, Jason would be able to hold his own.
Apparently, Isabelle didn’t have much to be worried about.
While Jason seemed nervous, none of her siblings did anything to make him uncomfortable.
Soon enough, Jason was relaxed and chatting easily with all of them.
By the time the movie had ended, her siblings had all gone off to do something else.
Jason reached for the remote and shut off the television, leaving the two of them in quiet contemplation on the couch. At one point she’d been squished between Camilla and Jason. The whole left side of her body was pressed against Jason’s, but when Camilla had left, she hadn’t bothered to move.
She drew comfort from the heat that emanated from his body. In fact, she’d nearly rested her cheek against his shoulder several times throughout the movie and had to remind herself that he hadn’t given her any indication that it was something he wanted.
He shifted at her side, and she frowned when he put a little distance between them. It was fine. She hadn’t wanted more, right?
Right.
Isabelle wasn’t ready for something more with anyone.
And yet… There was something about Jason that called to her in a way she hadn’t been expecting.
“I was wondering—” Isabelle started.
“Want to go for a walk?”
She faced him, searching his eyes. Then a smile broke across her face. “I’d love to go for a walk.”
At the sight of his smile, heat unfurled in her chest, spreading to parts of her body she had thought long dead. Jason got to his feet and held out his hand toward her. She didn’t hesitate before accepting.
The second their hands touched, her heart fluttered, then beat wildly as if the initial movement wasn’t nearly enough. There was something about Jason that put her soul at ease despite the way her heart reacted to him. He could make her forget. He was a life preserver in an ocean of turmoil.
Perhaps that was what she needed right now. Someone to make her believe life could go on after heartbreak. She dropped his hand and looked away, her nerves getting the better of her.
“You should get a blanket.” His soft, soothing voice was so close. It wrapped around her much like she wanted his arms to.
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” he said gruffly. “The sky is clear tonight. And I know a great place we can lie out and look at the stars.”
Her eyes cut to meet his. This guy, this handsome cowboy who could cook and make her laugh, also liked to stargaze. He was a literal jackpot. It made her wonder what was holding her back so much when she was around him.
Once she’d gathered the blanket, he slung it over his shoulder. They headed out farther into the yard, away from the lights and anyone who might interrupt them. Jason flung out the blanket, then gestured for her to get comfortable.
Isabelle settled onto her back, her hands resting on her stomach as she stared up at the glittering sky overhead. Jason took a spot right beside her. Their shoulders touched. Her body seemed to vibrate from his nearness, and it took all her energy to focus on the sky and the words he was saying.
Jason lifted a finger, his head tilting closer to hers. “See that? That’s the Big Dipper. We can see that one year-round in Colorado. There’s the handle and there’s the pot. But if you follow that line, you can find the North Star.”
Isabelle bit back a smile. She was familiar with that constellation, but she didn’t mind letting Jason try to impress her. It was sweet, really. She scooted so her head was closer to his. If she wasn’t careful, she could melt into him, into his low rumbling voice, into his warm, strong arms.
“And that right there? That’s Cassiopeia.” Jason rattled off the story related to the constellation—one she’d heard many times before—of a queen who angered Poseidon, and as punishment, she was put in the sky upside down. This story was common, too.
But then Jason actually surprised her.
“Then there’s that one.” Jason reached for Isabelle’s hand, curling her fingers around so she pointed at the sky. He drew a line down, then one across. “That constellation is Cygnus. There are a couple different stories about the swan.”
She twisted her head around, and their faces were a hair’s breadth apart. She searched his eyes for only a moment before she turned her attention back to the sky.
“One story is about Cygnus, who was a friend of Phaeton. And when Phaeton died, Cygnus was transformed into a swan by Zeus himself as a reward for his loyalty. Another tale is associated with the story of Orpheus, who was transformed into a swan as a constellation, but not many people believe that one. And one story is about Zeus.” Jason’s fingers had threaded through her own, and they remained clasped as he continued to speak.
“He disguised himself as a swan to seduce Leda. She saved him from an eagle, and he convinced her to lay with him.” Jason released a chuckle that sounded more embarrassed than anything. “And yes, they had some kids.”
Isabelle turned her face toward him and their eyes met once more. “I’m impressed. You’re nothing like I thought you were.”
His crooked grin only added to the swarm of warm sensations within her. “Oh yeah? What did you expect?”
“Not… to feel… so safe.” Inwardly, she grimaced. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that. What was he going to say? Would he push her away?
Jason’s expression shifted into something else, something more serious. He swallowed audibly, and for a second, she thought he might say something to shatter this nice moment. But then he simply nodded and adjusted his position.
With careful movements, he slipped his arm beneath her head and pulled her close. She had no other option but to rest her cheek against his chest. Her hand fell to his abdomen, and she exhaled a breath she’d been holding since she’d made her confession.
Fingers trailed up and down her arm, sending goosebumps skittering along her skin. Jason didn’t speak, and neither did she. For the first time in a long while, she thought she could close her eyes and not experience the nightmares that waited for her in the dark.
So that was what she did.
Isabelle took in a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“I’m glad you feel safe with me, Isabelle,” he said softly.
She hummed in agreement.
“Where else do you feel safe?” The words sounded like they came from far away. They were quiet and echoed in her mind.
She wasn’t even sure if she answered him, but she imagined she was floating and calm. It was like she was in a boat gliding down a calm river beneath a starlight sky. The soft sound of waves lapping against the side of the boat lulled her into sleep.
Safe.
This was where she felt safest.
“Isabelle.”
She moaned at the soft sound of a deep, male voice.
“Isabelle, I have to go. You should head back to bed. It’s almost morning.”
Her eyes fluttered open, and she jolted upright. At her side, Jason peered up at her. He gave her a small smile just before she glanced over to the horizon. Sure enough, the faintest glimmer of light was coming over the ridge. “What time is it?” she gasped.
“It’s nearly five.”
Five in the morning? She’d actually slept.
No nightmares.
Around them was another blanket they hadn’t brought with them. Jason must have noticed her confusion because he said, “Mark brought it out to me.”
She blushed even as Jason sat up and took her chin in his grasp. They’d stayed out here all night. She’d actually slept, and soundly at that.
Jason still held her face, and he waited for her to meet his eyes. When she did, he murmured, “You fell asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you. I sent Mark a message to bring us something until you did. If I didn’t have to work, I would have let you keep sleeping.”
Isabelle wanted to laugh. She wanted to cry. She wanted to shout for joy.
For the first time in a long time, she felt good.
“Are you going to be okay?” he whispered. “Can I walk you back to the house?”
She bit down on her lip to prevent herself from grinning like a crazy person. Then she nodded. “Yeah. To both questions.”