Chapter 23
Jason
Ishould have told her I loved her.
Jason paced in the kitchen. It was the only place he could go where he didn’t think she’d follow him. Because heaven knew that if she came after him and begged him to reconsider, he’d fold. It had taken everything in his power to follow through with the breakup.
Even now, he wondered if he’d done the right thing. Isabelle needed him. He could feel it in his gut. That sick feeling of unease that coiled in his chest was consuming him from the inside out.
Love.
He knew he loved her.
Mark had done a good job of convincing him that his infatuation was some kind of savior complex, but he was wrong, and Jason was going to prove it.
The first thing he needed to do was put some distance between himself and Isabelle. If his feelings for her remained the same, then he would have no issue doing whatever it took to get her back.
He prayed that giving her that space was the right thing to do. He’d done it for her. He needed her to see that she could be strong on her own and that she was capable of doing what it took to heal.
Thankfully, the kitchen was empty. Lunch preparation would begin soon, but Nikki had gone home to deal with something family related. Daniel had asked Mark to help out with something in the barn.
The restless energy within Jason only increased the longer he went over the conversation he’d had with Isabelle. Never in his life had he doubted a decision so much.
What if Isabelle didn’t love him?
That had him stopping in his tracks and he stared at the door, prepared to dart through it and go beg Isabelle to take him back now. How was he supposed to go on, however long it was, without her? Just take it on faith that she’d come back to him?
It was possible she clung to him because he was a life preserver in the storm that her life had become.
Jason couldn’t stand that thought. He charged for the door, but at that very moment it opened and Mark entered. He stopped short, surprised.
They stared each other down for several moments before Mark glanced over his shoulder at the door. “Where are you headed?” He asked it with caution in his voice. “Isabelle…”
Discussing Isabelle was a sore spot. After everything leading up to last night, Mark had made his opinions known. Maybe he didn’t even like Isabelle.
No, Jason wasn’t going to think that way. Mark had been on their side in the beginning. But since he remained on the outside of their relationship, it was easier for him to be more level-headed.
Jason turned and strode away from the door until he reached the other side of the room as if it would be enough to keep him from darting past Mark and going after the girl he loved.
Was it love?
Or was this an obsession?
He slid down the wall and settled on the floor. Mark remained where he stood, his expression blank as he observed his friend having his own personal meltdown. Then he sighed and moved closer. His boots clunked against the kitchen tile until he reached Jason.
Mark grunted as he took a seat across from Jason. “You want to talk about it?”
Jason refused to meet his friend’s eyes. Part of him blamed Mark for what had happened between himself and Isabelle. But the more logical side of him could accept that his friend had only ever looked out for him.
“It’s over,” he whispered.
Mark stiffened.
Jason blew out a breath as he forced that familiar numb feeling to wash over him. He’d been the one to break up with her. It didn’t matter if it was for her own good or not. If he hadn’t done it, things might have gotten worse.
Or they might have gotten better.
He gritted his teeth at that contrary thought. Then he forced himself to meet his friend’s concerned gaze. “What if I was wrong?”
Mark frowned. “Wrong about what?”
“About ending things. What if… You don’t know her like I do. She needs me.”
Mark blew out a breath and nodded thoughtfully. “It’s possible.”
Jason cut him a dark look and moved to get up, but Mark stopped him.
“Or maybe not.” He studied Jason for endless seconds.
Then he cocked his head to the side. “You’re right.
You know her better than I do. All I have is limited knowledge of what happened and what I’ve witnessed so far.
I’m not a doctor. But there had to have been enough doubt in your heart for you to make this decision, right? ”
Jason couldn’t deny that.
Doubt.
So much doubt about whether he was doing right by Isabelle or if he was enabling her.
Mark continued. “I’ve known you a long time, though.”
At that, Jason met Mark’s eyes again.
“And I can see that you’ve been struggling. Relationships are hard. Even the healthy ones. But when you feel like every single day you’re scrambling to get your footing, you have to ask yourself if that’s the kind of life you want to lead.”
“I love her, Mark,” Jason croaked.
“I know,” he admitted.
“So much.”
“I know,” Mark repeated. “And perhaps that’s the reason you made the decision you did.”
Jason could have pointed out that he only made said decision because everyone around him was saying the same thing. First his brother, then Mark. Even his sister Penny had suggested that he give Isabelle her card officially.
But whether their opinions were there to help Isabelle or if they were trying to protect Jason from himself, he couldn’t be sure.
“Give it some time. See what happens. We’ll keep an eye on her, okay? I’m sure her family has noticed what’s been going on. Something will have to give.”
“Why don’t your words instill any confidence?” Jason sighed.
Mark chuckled. “Because you like to be in control. It’s part of who you are.
You chose a career as a chef, for heaven’s sake.
You crave being a director of chaos. Then you left that lifestyle.
That energy doesn’t just go away. You needed to channel it, and what better way than to help someone who needed it? ”
“I hate when you start making sense,” Jason ground out.
“I love you, too,” Mark laughed. “Come on. It’s time to start getting lunch ready.”
“I knew you were out of practice, but jeez, this is just embarrassing.”
Jason gave Daniel an irritated look. The man supervised the livestock side of things while Mateo and his siblings still headed the dog breeding side of things.
Mark had made an excellent point last week when he’d pointed out that Jason had excess energy he’d been needing to expel. That meant Jason needed to find another hobby or at least take on more responsibility.
Hence, the reason Jason was helping wrangle the calves for their current round of vaccines. He’d been tasked with roping the creatures and stabilizing them so Mark and some of the other men could do the rest.
Normally, Daniel wanted this task done fast and efficiently. But today he seemed to be feeling “generous.”
Mark laughed from where he stood. “He’s not wrong, Jason. You’re out of practice.”
Could he be out of practice when he didn’t normally do this sort of thing? He was good at riding and fixing things with his hands. But when it came to doing actual cowboy tasks like lassoing an animal? He was surprised he hadn’t been fired already.
The only good thing that had come from his decision to put distance between himself and Isabelle was the camaraderie he’d developed with the other wranglers. There had been some turnover since he’d been hired, and he didn’t know many of them. But that was quickly changing.
“Are you going to come to the party this weekend?”
The question wasn’t directed at him. One of the other guys was speaking to Mark.
“It’s at the Callahan ranch, right?” Mark asked, turning his attention to Tucker.
The man nodded, leaning over the saddle horn and bracing himself on it awkwardly. “Yeah. It’s just gonna be some dancing and food. I think they’re celebrating the latest development with the wolf problem.”
“That get resolved then?” Mark asked as Jason tossed his lasso and failed once again to get the calf roped.
Daniel sighed and threw his own rope, wrangling the animal with ease before two cowboys ran to its side and immobilized it.
Jason coiled the rope as Tucker continued speaking.
“That researcher did his job right. Turns out the wolves shouldn’t have even been here. They were brought here for protection, but they’re an apex predator. Of course, they’re going to thrive and take over. Seems they’re going to be rounded up and relocated.”
“Finally,” Mark said. “How many cattle did Copper Creek have to lose before the powers that be realized they needed to do something?”
It was a rhetorical question. The wolves had encroached on and attacked several ranches’ livestock. Thousands of dollars in property had been damaged.
“Klein! A word.”
Jason jumped and glanced over toward the source of the angry voice.
Marcus and Roman were scowling at him from the other side of the fence.
It had been a week since he’d broken things off with Isabelle, and he hadn’t heard a word from her brothers.
He’d been on edge, waiting for the day when they’d come after him.
He looked in Mark’s direction. His friend almost seemed concerned. But Daniel seemed relieved to send Jason on his way. There would be no avoiding this conversation.
Daniel nodded to him and roped another calf. “Go on. We got this.”
Jason turned his horse and headed for the gate. This wasn’t going to turn out well at all. He didn’t have to see the disgruntled looks on their faces to know the exact reason they’d tracked him down.
This had Isabelle written all over it.
And this had been a long time coming.
Jason did his best to show confidence. While he was second-guessing himself most of the time, he couldn’t deny that regret was harder to disregard. The distance between him and Isabelle hurt, but they couldn’t continue down the path they’d been taking. At this point, it was a lose-lose situation.
When they had made it far enough from the other wranglers, Marcus whirled to face Jason, his expression tight. Roman looked angrier than his younger brother. Neither one of them seemed inclined to hear Jason out, so talking this through didn’t seem possible.
“What did you do?” Marcus snapped. Roman must have been his backup.
“I didn’t do anything,” Jason hedged. Would Isabelle throw him under the bus? What had she told them? The fact that she refused to tell anyone about what had happened with Dillan had him assuming she would keep this breakup to herself, as well.
Marcus gave him a little shove. It was hard enough that Jason stumbled back a step.
Roman grunted out a warning, “Marcus. We’re not here for that.”
Marcus squeezed the back of his neck, shooting his brother a hard look. “You’ve seen her. She’s completely closed off. We don’t even know if she’s eating.”
Jason stiffened. His eyes darted from Marcus to Roman, and he took a step toward Marcus. “What’s going on?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know,” Marcus sneered. “You’re the reason this is happening. Don’t act like you’re not. We’re not blind. Up until a couple days ago, she spent all her time with you. Now… nothing. She barely comes out of her room.”
Jason couldn’t help but look toward the house. Had he been wrong in his methods? That sinking suspicion that he had been ate at him. Listening to his gut had gotten harder lately. “What has she told you?” he whispered.
“What has she told us? You’re kidding, right?” Marcus’s face turned red with fury. “She’s not talking to anyone. Not even Charlie can get her to talk. She’s a shell of herself. I wish she were ranting and raving because then maybe we’d have a chance to get through to her.”
Jason turned on his heel, intent on heading right for her, but Roman stepped into his path.
He shook his head slowly. “We didn’t come here so you would go talk to her.
” His fury was still present, but there was also pain in his eyes.
“We came to warn you that if we see you even attempt to talk to her again, you’re done.
We’ve never seen her like this. It’s not good.
But for whatever reason, she doesn’t want Mateo to fire you. ”
“She said that?” Jason rasped.
Roman huffed. “It’s practically the only thing we got out of her. She’s refusing to talk, remember? You can bet if she had anything bad to say about you, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.” The threat in his voice was clear, and Jason shrugged off the shiver that scuttled down his spine.
So this was it, then. Isabelle wasn’t improving. She wasn’t seeking help.
Jason might have made the biggest mistake of his life. And now he didn’t have a chance to make it right.