Chapter 28
Isabelle
“How are you feeling today, Isabelle?”
“Izzie.”
Dr. Klein glanced up from her notepad and offered Isabelle a warm smile.
Smiling, Isabelle shifted in her seat. She fingered the hem of her shirt and glanced toward the window. It was hard to believe that she’d been seeing Dr. Klein for two months already. Back when she’d first started meeting with her, she’d had to call her personal number a lot.
It had felt needy and weak, but Dr. Klein had assured her that she was more than happy to answer any and all calls.
“I’m doing better, I think.” Isabelle returned her focus to her therapist. It had been difficult at first, knowing that Dr. Klein was Jason’s sister. But after the first month, it had felt natural. “My nightmares are less frequent.”
“That’s wonderful. What do you think is the reasoning behind that?”
“I don’t know.” Isabelle chewed on her lower lip. There was no way she’d admit that the nights she didn’t have nightmares, she dreamed of a certain handsome cowboy instead. That was the last thing her therapist needed to know.
“Are you certain?”
Isabelle nodded. “Honestly, it’s not like I didn’t talk to someone before…” She thought back to when she’d discussed her fears and her fuzzy memories with Jason. “Just not in a professional context. Do you think that’s why I’m improving?”
Dr. Klein’s smile never wavered. “It’s hard to say what will tip the scales in the favor of healing. Sometimes people improve simply because they can vent their concerns. Other times it’s acknowledging that one needs help. Often there is no one variable. Tell me about a typical day for you.”
Isabelle blew out a breath and did as she was told. She didn’t understand Dr. Klein’s reasoning for going over the mundane before they moved into the grittier aspect of her emotions. Perhaps it was helping beneath the surface.
They did a few other exercises before Dr. Klein shifted the topic. “And have you come in contact with the individual? You mentioned he lives in town.”
Isabelle dropped her gaze to her hands. “Not since that first day. I sorta avoid…” She could feel Dr. Klein’s eyes on her. “The last time I saw him, I had a panic attack.”
“And you’re concerned you’ll regress if you were to see him again.”
“Yeah.”
The quiet that filled the room had a sort of comfort to it. Isabelle let the confession wrap her in a protective hug. At least now she was capable of admitting that she wasn’t okay.
“I’m not usually in the habit of disclosing my personal life, Isabelle, but I will say that I was attacked when I was in high school.”
Isabelle’s head snapped up and her eyes rounded before she could school her features. How could she have forgotten that? Jason had said his sister had been assaulted, and yet she hadn’t made the connection.
Dr. Klein’s smile was one that resembled resolved sadness. “It took years of work to get through it, and it didn’t help matters that I ended up pregnant.”
Isabelle gasped. “I’m so sorry—”
Her therapist held up a hand. “If there is one thing I learned from my own personal experience, it’s that we can’t dwell on the past. That isn’t to say that we forget it.
On the contrary, we must learn from each and every one of our experiences—even the ones that hurt us the most. That night, you weren’t in control.
You had something taken from you, stolen.
That is a violation of catastrophic proportions. ”
“But it wasn’t as bad as…” Isabelle trailed off and looked away. They’d gone over this before. Multiple times. She flushed even though Dr. Klein didn’t correct her. It would take time, but Isabelle would continue working on rewiring the way she thought about her personal struggles.
“Something that is impossible for one person to heal and move on from might be easy for another and vice versa.”
“I know,” Isabelle murmured.
“What I went through was difficult, but I can honestly say that there are certain things I witness on a daily basis that I don’t think I could handle. But for you? They might seem easy.”
Nodding, Isabelle wrung her hands together. “I can understand that, too.”
“So, let’s stop comparing, shall we? Let’s focus on your healing and what you feel would help you the best.”
Another nod.
Dr. Klein had never made Isabelle feel like less of a person, even when Isabelle had realized that Dr. Klein was related to Jason.
She had to have known that they’d gotten close—that they’d been in a relationship together.
But Jason never came up. Not even when Isabelle discussed what had triggered her to finally seek help.
Jason had been a big part of that, not that Isabelle blamed him. She’d felt abandoned and lost. But she’d also accepted that Jason needed to do what was best for him, even if that meant they weren’t going to be together anymore.
Isabelle blew out a breath. She’d been running from her past. Her therapist was right about moving forward while accepting that the past couldn’t be changed.
While the thought terrified her, she had to finally admit that she couldn’t keep avoiding the inevitable.
Eventually, she’d have to see Dillan again.
“I think I’d like to confront him. The man who hurt me. ”
The only indication that her decision was surprising was the slight lift of Dr. Klein’s brow. “And what would you hope to accomplish by confronting him?”
“Closure, I guess.” Isabelle shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s been years. I don’t think he’d apologize to me or anything. That would be expecting too much.”
“Sadly, I think you’re right. We can’t dictate the way other people act.
And those who are comfortable hurting others don’t typically show remorse without finding their own reasons to do so.
” She never insisted that Isabelle report Dillan.
She didn’t even ask for Dillan’s name. They spoke about him as if he only existed when Isabelle needed him to.
Usually, these sessions were more about Isabelle finding peace.
Maybe that peace could come from speaking to Dillan once more.
“I think I’d like him to know how much he hurt me, even if he doesn’t care. Because at least he’d know that what he did wasn’t without certain consequences. Is that dumb?”
“Of course not. Like I said, these sessions are about you and your future. Your well-being. Whatever that looks like to you, I will support.”
They discussed a few other ways Isabelle could find her inner peace before she set up another appointment. As Isabelle was heading for the door, she stopped and faced Dr. Klein. “I know you said we didn’t have to discuss Jason…”
Her therapist lifted her eyes. “Izzie—”
“This isn’t about my therapy,” Isabelle rushed to assure her. “And I completely understand if you don’t want to say anything. I just…” She closed her eyes briefly. “I just want to make sure he’s doing okay.”
Something like empathy flickered in Dr. Klein’s eyes. She placed her notepad on a table beside her chair and crossed her legs. Maybe there was even a little hesitation. Finally, she sighed. “He’s doing well. He’s still in town. I’m not sure if you were aware of it.”
Isabelle blinked. She hadn’t been aware. Jason never reached out to her after the handful of calls she’d made. No text message had been returned either. She figured he’d moved on and this was her sign to do the same.
“Anyway, he’s working at a café on the other side of town. They’re doing an event this weekend—a fundraiser, I believe. Your brother and sister-in-law own the company?”
Isabelle shifted, her expression remaining blank so she wouldn’t give anything away.
“Anyway, they’re promising to match the donations made. Looks like they’re supporting the equine therapy program run by Mr. Shane Owens.”
Isabelle nodded. It was all she could do not to give away her surprise.
“Perhaps you might consider stopping by and giving your support.”
The fact that her brother hadn’t mentioned this rubbed Isabelle the wrong way. Was this by design? Or had Jason requested that Isabelle remain in the dark? It didn’t matter. Isabelle was tired of running.
Tired of running from her past.
From the man who had hurt her.
And from the love she’d found with Jason.
Today marked a fresh start of sorts, and she knew exactly what she had to do. “Thank you, Dr. Klein. I appreciate it.”
Her therapist nodded. “Have a wonderful afternoon, Izzie.”
Isabelle jumped to her feet when Charlie and Ash entered the diner.
She’d insisted that both of them meet her for dinner before she lost her nerve.
Charlie, being the best kind of friend a girl could have, made sure to make it happen.
She had plenty of family members wanting to babysit her little one.
Charlie caught sight of her immediately and made a beeline in her direction. Ash followed with a more relaxed gait. When they were all seated in their booth and they’d been served their food, Charlie jumped right in.
“Okay, Izzie. Spill. Where’s the fire?”
Ash snorted and Isabelle couldn’t fight her own grin. Charlie rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of a smug smile touching her lips.
“What’s going on?” Charlie tried again.
Isabelle glanced from Charlie to Ash and back. “Did you tell him?”
Ash stiffened, and there was no missing the look of suspicion when he gazed at his wife. Charlie flushed, and that was the only indication that she hadn’t told Ash anything about Dillan.
Guilt swarmed Isabelle’s insides. She hadn’t meant to ask Charlie to keep a secret from him. And yet this was her story to tell. She hadn’t been ready. Not until today.
Charlie shook her head, and Ash’s eyes narrowed.
“Told me what?” he demanded.
Charlie sighed. “It wasn’t up to me.” She cut Isabelle an exasperated look. “But apparently you’re going to find out, or Isabelle wouldn’t have insisted you come.” Then, more under her breath, she muttered, “Or outed me to you.”
“Sorry,” Isabelle whispered.
“Tell me what?” Ash tried again. “Is something going on?”
Isabelle blushed bright red as she realized how in-depth she’d have to go in order for Ash to understand the importance of this particular conversation.
“It’s about Dillan,” Charlie said, her eyes never straying from Isabelle.
“Dillan? The new guy?” Ash glanced from his wife to Isabelle. “What about him?” There was an edge to his voice. “Did something happen?”
“Straight shooting, something happened,” Charlie seethed.
Ash tensed.
Isabelle reached for her glass of water and took a sip. Her hand shook, and she returned the glass to the table. She could do this. “A couple years ago, he drugged me with the intent to…” Her voice rasped and she could feel the heat beneath her skin intensify.
“You don’t have to say anything else,” Charlie assured her. She turned to her husband. “Use your imagination.”
Isabelle thought the heat in her face was bad until Ash’s skin took on a deep red coloring and his hands clenched into fists. Her eyes widened, and she glanced warily at Charlie.
“Don’t worry,” her friend assured her.
“Did you report him?” Ash snapped.
Isabelle flinched. “I didn’t… I don’t really have proof.
It was a couple years ago. All I have are tox screens from the hospital after…
” She couldn’t bring herself to meet Ash’s eyes.
“Someone stepped in and prevented him from taking things further…” She fingered her napkin in her lap.
“Anyway, I thought you ought to know because he’s working for you.
” It felt stupid to bring this up, like she was tattling. “I didn’t know if you would want to—”
“I’ll handle it,” Ash ground out. “Don’t worry, Izzie. He’s not going to get a job anywhere in Copper Creek after I’m done with him.”
Isabelle’s eyes widened. “You… I mean, I appreciate it, but you can’t guarantee—”
“Oh yes, I can. He might not have a criminal record, but the fact that he tried something with you means he likely tried it before, or he’ll try it again.
That’s a character issue I’m not willing to overlook.
Your word is all I need. This person who stopped it. Would they be willing to come forward?”
“Probably,” Isabelle said weakly. “I could ask him.”
“That might be a good idea. If Dillan gives us any trouble, I’ll need his information.”
Isabelle nodded. While this whole thing was terrifying to think about, she had the strangest feeling of something uncoiling in her stomach. The peaceful feeling that came with the relief was small, but it felt like it was a good start for moving forward.