Chapter 8 #2
He audibly swallows and looks at me from his lowered lashes. They’re darker than I expected, framing the blue as though to make it deeper. My throat dries.
I take an involuntary step forward. “Answer me.”
He chews on his lower lip.
“You wouldn’t do that,” Julian scoffs.
He moistens his lips again, and my feet drag me forward once more.
“Why not? You don’t think you deserve someone to defend you? Defend your honour?”
“I can fight my own battles.”
“That’s not what I ask. Answer the question, pup.”
I’m ensnared in his baby blues, and how wide his pupils blow as I call him this new nickname I just can’t seem to stop using all of a sudden.
My skin tingles, and I’m barely aware of the heat anymore.
This close, I can smell Julian’s signature cologne.
The one he loves to spray at the back of his hair because ‘the alcohol in perfume can be really bad for the skin under the sun’ and ‘he doesn’t want to die of skin cancer. ’
The pulse at the juncture of his neck and shoulder beats a wild drum.
Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.
“Is that what you want? For me to be your saviour?” I ask, before I place my hand on the spot calling for me.
Julian’s intake of breath almost steals it from my own lungs because of how close we are.
“I think I’d like you to defend me,” he answers, barely above a whisper. His breath ghosts over my lips. “You’re the only one I want that from.”
His words paralyse me as much as they give me life. A life that’s new and untouched by pain and the past. Something he just created with a few words and that my brain can’t compute yet.
But Julian’s always been an opinionated trickster.
His lips follow his words as they make contact with mine.
My eyelids flutter close. My body knows what to do before my mind does as I press the bulk of my frame against his, pinning him to the wall of the mansion. He pulls him to me with both hands fisting my tee-shirt.
The heat of his body is too fucking much. Hotter than the sun. And more necessary. Life-giving.
Our mouths fuse together, softly at first, then more insistent. But I never kissed anyone, and I’m out of my depth. I withdraw from his embrace but he holds me close.
“Open for me, baby,” he breaths across my lips.
I fall into his soft command, kissing him again and opening my lips. His tongue slides into my mouth and I groan. He tastes so sweet, of faint alcohol and syrupy figs.
When his hands slide to my face and the back of my neck, I follow his lead and let mine roam where I never thought they’d go. I slide them to his sides, on his chest while I feast on his sighs and devour his soft gasps.
It’s the closest I ever felt to God.
I’m not a believer but for Julian Bartoli’s lips, I’d pray on my knees day and night.
An alarm bell rings at the back of my head, reminding me that he’s a man, and that kissing him would get me killed back home. But I haven’t been in Russia for over two years and here, in the shadows and the safety of the Moretti family’s inner circle, I don’t care.
When I come up for air, we’re both breathing hard. Julian’s hair looks disheveled. I must have run my fingers through the blonde strands I’ve wanted to touch for so long.
“Is it always like this?” I ask him.
He swallows. Shakes his head, pupils blown wide. “No.”
“Good.”
His lips stretch into a wicked grin, sending sparkling light into his eyes. It makes my heart clench, that smile.
“Do you want to do it again?”
“Yes,” I answer without hesitation before slamming my lips to his again.
This time, I’m less tentative. I explore his mouth with my tongue, I caress his clean shaven jaw, and let my hands roam free. Chest to chest, heart to heart, I’m unsure if it’s his or mine that beats a wild drum like it wants out.
“Jules?” Lana’s voice is faint, coming from the front of the house, close to the gardens where Julian’s birthday party is still happening.
I almost forgot about it.
And about my friend, who I’m supposed to guard at all times. There was another abduction attempt a few months ago, and the culprits were dealt with swiftly, but when it comes to the heir of the Moretti family, danger always looms.
“We should go,” I breathe into Julian’s mouth.
He entwines our fingers but I remove my hand from his. “I’m… I don’t…”
I don’t know how to say what I want to say, I don’t have the words to explain that though I can kiss him all night long, I don’t want anyone to know. Not yet.
“It’s okay, Igor. I won’t tell anyone. Not until you’re ready.”
“You don’t mind?”
He shrugs but there’s a flash of discomfort on his handsome face and he drops his gaze down too fast.
“Are you going to kiss someone else?” I ask, jaw tense.
“Would you be jealous?”
I nod vigorously.
“Okay, then I won’t. But know that, that makes us boyfriends.”
“And what does that mean?”
“That I won’t kiss anyone but you, and you won’t either.”
“I don’t want to kiss anyone else.”
“Good,” he simply says, throwing my own simple word back at me.
Something flutters in my belly and warmth spreads as I look at him. Lana calls out for him again and we walk back to the front of the house. The few feet between us is like an ocean and I miss his body against mine.
“There you are,” Lana complains. “Where have you been?”
She frowns when she sees me walking side by side with her best friend, but Julian saves the day. “I wanted to see Max thrown out of my party.”
“That little bitch. I don’t even know why you invited him in the first place.”
“It’s my birthday. More people means more gifts.”
“You’re so shallow,” Giulia laughs next to her cousin before handing Julian a champagne flute and clinking her glass to his. “Well done. Come on, let’s get ready to hit the club. Now that you’re eighteen, we can pretend it’s the first time you’re getting drunk.”
They finish their drink and march to the front gate, where a SUV awaits us. Julian hangs behind for a second, then turns to me. “I only ever kissed two people, Igor. And you’re one of them.”
His usual laid back persona is nowhere to be seen, his expression serious as he insists.
“Why are you telling me this?”
He shakes his head, biting his lip. I want to be the one doing that. Ignoring me, he just takes my hand in his. “Come on, pretty boy, let’s get drunk.”
“I’m working.”
“Five of your colleagues are coming with us, take the night off.”
I let him pull me by the arm until we’re at the SUV, and I follow the three friends on my very first night out. All night, while I keep an eye on Lana and stay vigilant, Julian enters my field of vision and consciousness constantly. And I find myself craving more.