Chapter 13
We spent the rest of the afternoon discussing our past lives and the different worlds we grew up in. As the day nears its end, the bright sun begins to dip behind the horizon, casting a looming shadow across the room. The fading light seems darker, like it’s threatening what’s to come.
Our chatter fades.
When we can’t wait any longer, we split up to dress for the castle. Oak and Maines return to their bedroom, and I slip into Silas’s room while he stays behind to discuss a few things with his commanders quietly.
Nerves run through me as I make my way to the bathing chambers. I splash some cold water on my face and smooth my hair. With all of my belongings at the castle, my options are limited for clothing.
A soft knock sounds, followed by the creak of the heavy wooden door.
“Briar?” Fen pokes her head through. “You in here?”
“Yeah, come in,” I call from around the corner.
Her steps are near silent as she approaches the large bay window, placing both hands on her hips. The fading sun casts golden rays of light that bounce around the room. I hear her sigh as I cross the room to join her.
“Are you alright?” I ask.
“Oh, I’m fine,” she responds. “I’ve just had a headache I haven’t been able to shake for the past few days.”
“Are you not sleeping?”
“I am. I’m just having really vivid dreams—or nightmares—and they all end the same way. With...” she trails off, and starts to fidget with the stunning necklace she always wears.
“Ends with what?” I push.
She pauses, as if she doesn’t want to speak the words into existence. “Someone screaming.”
A chill runs up my spine, and I try to give her a reassuring smile.
“Who?”
She shrugs. “Someone familiar, and not at the same time.”
“I also have nightmares.” I nod, with a soft curl of my lips. “For years. They never get easier, and the fear you feel when trapped in them never fades. I’ve always known that darkness hides in our dreams, like something that can’t reach us when we are in the light.”
“I feel like I’ve been swallowed whole lately,” she continues.
“Like the darkness has shifted into something different, and as I run through my nightmares—as I race through the ruins—I only see a single light.” She braces herself against the windowsill.
“And no matter how fast I run, I can’t reach it. ”
I look out over the dark sea before us. “It’s a dream. Keep pushing forward, and maybe you’ll reach it one day.”
She blinks, fighting back a tear that threatens to roll down her cheek, and clears her throat as the memories fade.
And just like Silas, she turns off that part of her—weakness—as if it’s a sin.
Fen spins around and notices that I’m still wearing the same outfit—black fitted pants and a wrinkled white shirt.
“Oh no.” Fenmore shakes her head. “No.”
“Hm, okay? You could pretend that I at least look decent. I’m comfortable in this,” I respond, mildly irritated.
“You look stunning. Always,” she laughs. “But, that outfit won't do. I had Warrick bring all your things. I came to make sure you knew that, and it’s clear you didn’t. My father loves the dramatics; if you show up over the top, he’ll love you.”
“Gods, you are as direct as your brother.”
Fen laughs again. “You’re going to whip him into shape quickly. I can already see a change in him—in a good way, I mean. He’s softer.”
“Silas Nastronde is softer?” Her statement takes me aback. “He threatened to slaughter Larkin in the living room.”
“He wouldn’t hurt Larkin,” she says, rolling her eyes, before pausing to think about it. “Well, not too bad.”
I chuckle.
She shakes her head. “Believe it or not, he is. And it’s because of you.” She looks out of the large window. “He was…angry before he left for Daramveer. He was so haunted by his dreams that he could barely function toward the end. He was slowly going insane.”
“What do you mean?”
“He ripped this kingdom apart a month before the competition was announced, looking for you, not realizing you weren’t here at first.” She blinks back the memories.
“He scared the fuck out of the people here. Larkin and Warrick did everything they could to calm him down, but it didn’t work.
Our father gave him a brutal beating afterwards, seeing the mess he made. ”
I gaze out of the window alongside her. “I had no idea.”
My mind travels back to the words Larkin spoke about Silas and his anger, and how he witnessed it.
She moves closer. “I’m not surprised. He’s not one to talk about his feelings, especially old ones. Warrick and Larkin finally had to restrain him after his largest outburst. They locked him in this house for days. I don’t think either of them slept. It consumed him.”
“He has a temper,” I add.
“His is different.” She nearly trembles. “Much different.”
I keep my eyes locked on hers, and I swear fear dances in her eyes before her gaze drops.
She pauses, and glances back at me. “Silas has been through a lot. Our father spent many days practically torturing him. My brother has spent years building walls to keep people out.”
“I know the feeling.”
“Give him some time, Briar. He will let you in deeper than he’s let anyone.”
Tears form in my eyes as I look at Fen. Her face is so beautiful and reminiscent of Silas, but different all the same.
“What happened to him?” I ask.
She grabs my hand with one of hers, pulling the shoulder of her shirt down with the other. A thick white scar lines the top of her left collarbone. I flinch at the pain I can only imagine she endured to receive that.
“I know you’ve heard our father has interesting tactics for punishments.
We fight here in Andorwood. There’s a worn, wooden platform near the center of the kingdom.
Crowds are forced to watch as people battle it out.
Whoever wins, lives.” She shrugs, as if the words are casual.
“I was young when I got this scar—too young. Silas had to be restrained during that fight; he killed three guards trying to escape to stop me from getting hurt. He practically exploded with rage that day, and even as a child, I think our father feared him.”
My heart shatters, and my lip quivers, as I try to regain my composure.
She continues. “My father was so disgusted by his reaction that I never had to fight again. Silas took every single one of my punishments for me. Beating after beating—for me. He’s covered in scars—both inside and out—because of me.
” Tears well up in her large green eyes.
“He deserves the world. He is selfless, loyal, and loves deeply. Just be there for him as much as you can. You have his heart—his soul—and I know he’s stubborn, but it’s real. I know that for a fact.”
I stare at her, my chest tighter than it’s ever been.
Silas.
My Silas.
“I’ve been selfish, Fen.”
“No, you haven’t, my friend.” She returns the soft gaze. “You are about as far from selfish as you can get. You are resilient, kind, and humble. And even though you have a darkness deep within you, Briar, you are good.”
I take her hand, our conversation fading into silence. She softly squeezes my hand in return, and a look of understanding crosses her face.
“You are going to change everything one day. Just trust yourself, and trust Silas.”
She wipes a falling tear from her cheek and turns away.
“What is it?” I ask.
“I’m the one who has been selfish,” Fen admits, and I watch her face turn from sadness to painful regret.
“What do you mean?”
“I think things are going to change soon, and I’m worried about him. I feel as if I’ll be sick at any moment with this feeling twisting in my gut.”
I angle my head. “Warrick?”
She nods. “Yes.”
“Why do you say that? If you’re worried about something, the best thing you can do is face it head-on. Trust your instincts. The what-ifs will drive you mad.”
She wipes a tear and shakes off the unsettling feeling with a smile. “Maybe I’ll do that, but not right now. Right now, we need to get you ready.”
I nod, resigned to my fate. “What do you think I should wear?”
She strides to the large wardrobe and opens the doors. “First, let’s move all of Silas’s clothes. They aren’t important.” She flashes a grin over her shoulder before returning her focus to the wardrobe. “This. You’ll wear this.”
My jaw drops.
She holds a stunning, floor-length gown made from the finest fabric.
I take the dress, gazing at it with reverence, before slipping it on and stepping out to show Fen.
The black gown hugs my body perfectly—as if it were tailored just for me—with nearly invisible swirls that sit upon the fabric.
The flowing fabric catches each ray of light as it moves.
Two golden serpents adorn the dress; the snakes’ tails start above the chest and wind their way up the fabric.
The neckline features the snake's bodies dramatically entwined with their heads resting delicately on my throat.
“My fucking Gods.” Fen smiles. “You could win over an entire kingdom in that dress.”
“That’s the point, isn’t it?” I sweep my hair over my shoulders to really show off the neckline.
Another knock sounds on the door.
“What?” Fen shouts harshly, and I bust out laughing.
Silas steps into the room, and my whole body tenses, anticipating his reaction. His lips part slightly, and his brows lift.
I smile and curtsey, the long dress pooling around me.
“She looks fucking spectacular, doesn’t she?” Fen points toward me and jokes, “Can I date her?”
I look at her with a dramatic eye roll.
“Fen,” Silas says. “Can you give us a minute? Alone.”
“Of course,” she says with a nod. “But, we need to leave soon. I’ll prepare the others.”
Fen moves across the room quickly, reaching the door to exit, but not before she gives me a smile.
“Thank you, Briar, for the talk.”
I return the smile and dip my head.
She closes the door behind her, and I turn my head to Silas. He stands before me, frozen, and I can’t decipher the expression on his face just yet.
“If beauty could kill,” he rasps, “I’d be fucking dead on the spot.”
I move toward him and chuckle, letting the dress trail behind me—a shadow of black fog.
I pause, and we stand pressed together for a moment, neither of us speaking.
He tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
My eyes are level with his chest, and I pull his shirt down, revealing all the aged, white scars.
I trace my fingers along each one, a new understanding of the pain behind them.
Every scar is an agonizing memory, forever marked on his body, that he lives with every single day. For an instant, I feel the same pain. Pain for what he endured, pain for the challenges he faced, and pain that I can never erase those memories for him.
He slowly slides his hand up to meet mine and holds it against his muscled chest. I close my eyes and feel his heart's strong, steady beats against my hand.
His chest rises and falls in a rhythmic motion.
Silas kisses my forehead and lingers there momentarily, inhaling my scent and savoring this moment for as long as possible.
We both know our time is limited.
I gaze up through my lashes, and he’s smiling. The world is quiet around us, with the exception of crashing waves against the cliff-face, the gentle breeze, and the beating of our hearts. Together. Connected. Deeper than we can put into words right now.
“You ready?” he asks.
“I am.”
“I need to talk to you about Malachi.”
His face changes, and the soft expression fades as his father’s name leaves his lips. Our hands are still connected, and he guides me to the sitting area. We sit facing each other on the small couch, and anticipation fills me as I wait for him to begin.
“There are many things I still need to tell you.” Silas takes a long breath. “We don’t have time for everything right now, but I promise you will soon know all there is to know about me and my world.”
I nod.
“Malachi cannot be trusted, Briar. No matter what he says, he is deceitful, manipulative, and will haunt you. Do not believe a word he says.”
I angle my head, gazing at him questioningly. “Haunt? Truly?”
“He has powers we don’t understand. Powers and abilities I’ve been searching for my whole life. He...he can appear to people like mist—a spirit sent from the darkest realm to haunt you.”
My mind snaps back to the dinner, his cloudy appearance when only I could hear his whispers. He was there to me, a manifestation, but not to the others. They couldn’t see him.
“I know he appeared to you in that form at dinner. I saw your face change and turn pale. I knew he was talking to you, and I was horrified.”
“I know you were.”
“I’m so sorry I didn’t warn you. I thought I was keeping you safe by keeping this information, but I see now that all I did was put you in danger.” He drops his head, “I’m the entire reason you’ve been in danger since we’ve been here.”
I cup his face, lifting his chin. “I’m fine. And I understand all about doing what you must to keep those around you safe.”
He softly chuckles. “Yes, you are Queen of Daramveer. Well, you’re more like the Queen of Withholding Vital Information, aren’t you?”
“You know it, Nastronde.”
Silas nuzzles into my hand. “I’ll tell you everything once we get this over with. We’re coming up with a plan together. Just please, don’t think of me differently when I share everything with you."
“I won’t. Let me help you as you help me.”
He nods.
“It’s okay to talk about your pain—visible or not,” I whisper. “I have it too; you just can’t see it.”
Silas leans forward, pressing the softest kiss to my lips.
“We need to go,” I whisper against his mouth.
He rests his forehead against mine, sighing heavily. “I know.”
I stand, pulling him to join me. Our hands separate, and I head for the door with him trailing behind me.
“Briar,” Silas calls, pulling me back from crossing the threshold. “I’m not finished. There’s a way to stop him from haunting you.”
“Well, great.” I spin on my heels, turning to face him. “How?”
Silas hesitates, and my excitement twists into something more sinister.
“It involves the poison that killed your brother.”