Chapter 21 #2
“He’s been with me for many years, Briar, even though he tends to keep to himself. Hux typically knows everything, which is why I keep him close,” Silas explains. “But, if you think something is wrong, I will talk to Warrick and Larkin to get their thoughts.”
I nod, but keep a stern look toward him. His face remains firm. He doesn’t like this one bit, and I know it. His eyes hold patience, but I know his mind is racing.
“Go ahead and tell me the other piece,” he insists. “I know there is more that you are withholding. There is something that you aren’t telling me regarding us, isn’t there?”
I fidget for a moment and can’t help but touch my shoulder. The throbbing tattoo responds to the graze, causing me to flinch. “I should have mentioned this to you earlier, but everything unfolded so quickly, and you were upset with me.”
He leans in closer and ponders for a second. "This happened when you saw Kalix. During the tattoo?”
I nod, momentarily speechless. I open my mouth, but the words come from Silas’s lips, not mine.
“She taunts you, doesn’t she?” Silas doesn’t break his stare. “Even when I can’t feel it.”
I nod, and my stomach churns.
“Always.”
I glance at my hands, and the dark veins appear even darker against the night.
“Let me help you carry this burden,” he whispers. “Let me help you.”
I gaze into his eyes, letting the green of his irises feel like they are bleeding into mine. Silas can help me, and it’s time I let him.
“She told me something.”
“About?”
“Us,” I mutter.
“She told you what connects us.” His brows tighten. “Didn’t she?”
Tears well in my eyes and sit heavy on my lower eyelids.
I nod again.
Silas exhales and glances back at the night sky for a moment. He traces his fingers through mine as he holds onto me and this silent moment. As badly as he wants to know this information, I can sense the hesitation as clear as the cool breeze around us.
“I knew it. You were different after that, and I feared it had something to do with me. With us.”
“Everything has been so fucked up,” I say.
“Then, let’s change that.”
“I’m scared that this knowledge is the reason everything could change,” I mutter.
His gaze snaps back to mine, and shock dances across his face. “Change me and you?”
“Yes. What if knowing only changes the way we feel about each other? The way you feel about me?”
He grabs my face, trying to force my eyes to his. “Nothing will change the way I feel about you. Nothing, Briar Blackbyrne.”
I look down, unable to meet his gaze. “Even knowing that you were created to be drawn to me? Even knowing that you are my tether? You must keep me grounded in this realm.”
Silas sighs and remains silent.
He lifts my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I knew those weren’t nightmares. We can travel to different realms, can’t we?”
His eyes grow distant, and I know he’s retracing his steps each night he’s dreamed of me.
I hum.
“I chased you all those years, pulling you back each time.”
“Kalix referred to me as a Realm Walker. You, being my tether, were meant to pull me back. So yes, technically, you can too. Without you, I could get stuck—and I did get stuck. When you were injured, I found myself trapped in a realm with Kalix.”
“I searched for you desperately, Briar. I used every ounce of my power to find you. You know that.” Silas angles his head. “Why would you be afraid to tell me this?”
“What if our feelings are forced? What if they aren’t genuine, and we only feel this way because it was our destiny?” A tear rolls down my cheek.
He places my hand on his strong chest, and a calming thump responds in return. “You taught me that we are in control of our own destinies. Fate may have brought us together, but each day, I choose you because I want to.”
“But, what if that isn’t real?”
Silas presses my hand to his chest tighter.
“Do you feel my heart beating? Can you sense its steady rhythm? That’s real, and it beats only for you.
” He presses my hand harder against his heart.
“Tether or not, Briar Blackbyrne, I am yours. I want to walk through every realm with you. I want to know every part of you, and I swear to the Gods and beyond to love every fucking inch of you until my body—until my soul—turns to ash.”
I can’t control the tears streaming down my cheeks. Silas leans forward and kisses each one away.
“I started chasing you as soon as I felt you all those years ago,” he rasps. “I’ll chase you—even blindly, if I must—to the darkest realm. I’ll never stop following after you.”
His mouth moves from my cheeks to my lips.
The kiss is gentle and slow, allowing me to find his calm.
His hand releases mine, travels up to find its place at the back of my neck.
He pulls me even closer, deepening the kiss.
His warmth envelops me, and I open to him.
His tongue swirls around mine, as if tasting me for the first time.
Something in my chest tingles as both of us finally recognize the connection, causing something to click.
I swear for a moment that if I looked down, I would see a physical rope connecting us.
In one fluid motion, Silas grips my hips and pulls me to straddle him. Our chests collide, and he slips a hand to the back of my neck, pulling me as close as possible. Our kiss grows more fervent, and I rake my nails into the back of his shirt.
I pull away and grip the back of his neck. “There doesn’t happen to be a cave around here anywhere?”
Silas leans his head back and lets out a deep laugh that resonates around us. The infectious laugh moves around us, mixing with the breeze, and my heart flutters. It’s been so long since I’ve heard that delicious noise, and I smile wider than I have in a long time.
“There she is,” he declares. “My sarcastic girl. Would you like me to find one quickly?”
“I don’t think that will be necessary, Nastronde.” I laugh and respond, “I have a feeling that cave or no cave, you’d do just about anything I asked of you.”
He smiles. “For the rest of my life, Briar.”
Silas rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes.
I watch him and admire his beautiful face.
His scar glimmers in the moonlight, and I softly trace it with my thumb.
His breathing steadies, and we remain in this moment—only us.
Silas slowly opens his eyes, and the stars reflect off his green eyes.
“We are one step closer to finding out what we need to know,” he whispers. “I just need you to stay with me.”
I shift off his lap and sit next to him again. “Then, why don’t I feel better?”
“Because even after everything, I fear that the worst has yet to come.”
Silas grabs my hand and holds it tight. I look up, and the stars continuously twinkle against the black velvet sky. “I think you are right.”
“I usually am,” he whispers, and I nudge his shoulder.
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid.”
“I’m terrified,” He responds.
“Silas?” I ask. “Afraid?”
“Not for myself, but because I’m worried about what might happen to one of you.
I’ll do everything I can to protect you all, no matter the cost to me.
But still, in the back of my mind, I know I can’t do this perfectly.
” He lets out a shaky exhale. “When the ship arrives, it’s going to be ugly.
I need you to promise me that if things go wrong, you will run.
You have to be safe, Briar. You are this realm’s future, even if I don’t make it out with you. ”
I allow myself to think about what it would be like to run. What it would be like to explore the realms without Silas—without my tether. Completely lost in this life and all the others. A chill runs through me, and I scoot closer to him.
“I’m never leaving you, Silas. We are doing this together. Until the very end.”
“Until the very end,” Silas says, in my mind.
I pause, letting the realization of our power together flow into me like his deep voice. He smiles, as if knowing we could do this, and for the first time, Silas had information before I did.
“You knew we could do that?”
“Yes,” he says, proudly.
“And you haven’t tried before now?”
He laughs, “I didn’t want to terrify you.”
I lean forward, slapping his shoulder. “You kept something from me.”
“How does it feel, my love?” he says, only in my mind.
“Terrible,” I respond. “And exciting.”
“Of course, your twisted mind would enjoy that.”
I laugh, letting the ease of this moment travel through me. I’m happy. With Silas, I am happy. My eyes close as the chuckle fades, and I glance at him.
He stares at me, and a flash of fear shows in his eyes, stopping me in my tracks.
“Us. Together.” He cups my face, “Until the very end.”
“Promise?” I respond.
“Promise.”
He knows I’d never run, and I think that’s what scares him the most. Silas knows that I would fight alongside him until our last breath, and with everything that we are, we both pray that it isn’t soon.
“We need to head back soon.” I brush a fallen piece of hair from his face.
“Nope.” He moves to lie on the soft grass. “We deserve a night alone.”
“Thank Gods,” I say in my mind.
“I think I’m going to enjoy being able to cast thoughts into your mind. Think of the conversations we can have about the others without them knowing? Or all the filthy things I can say to you.”
I join him, stretching my legs in the opposite direction. I prop on my elbows and cup his face as our gaze meets. The blades of grass bend under my weight, feeling soft against my skin.
“You wish to speak about the others in a poor light?” I laugh.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to say horrible things under my breath the past few days about those wonderful fools.” His arms stretch wide over his head, his hands moving down my sides, and I laugh again.
“I can’t wait to hear that more.”
“What?”
“That delicious laugh,” Silas says, a massive smile on his face.
We lie in silence, watching the stars.
Some twinkle, some remain still, while others shoot across the black sky, and in this moment, the world seems at peace.
There is no threat, no urgency; it’s just us.
Together by fate, destiny, and sheer luck.
My eyes begin to feel heavy as I notice Silas turn, shifting beside me to wrap his strong arms around me.
“Briar?” Silas silently speaks.
“Yes?”
“You are mine.”
I smile as I respond, “Until we reach the darkest realm and further.”
He nuzzles into my back, and I close my eyes, floating into the sky alongside the stars.