Chapter 33 #2
Her words take me aback, and I watch her chest rise and fall rapidly, trying to catch a proper breath. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her close, trying to provide her with warmth and comfort in this moment.
“Warrick tries to help. He says everything he can to soothe my pain, but it doesn’t work, and it makes me want to push him away because he’s not him. The only person who can help is…” She trails off.
“Rohhit,” I answer.
She turns to me, and her eyes are now overwhelmed with tears. They rapidly fall down her cheeks, and my heart shatters.
“Did it hurt this bad for you? When Silas wasn’t around?”
My lips form a thin line. “I think it’s different for us. I felt like I was missing something, like someone was always whispering my name, but I couldn’t reach them. It was daunting.”
“It’s awful,” she whispers.
“I think it hurts because you know Rohhit is in pain,” I say, hesitantly.
A tear rolls down her cheek.
“We will save him,” I say. “I’ll do anything to make sure neither of you is in pain.”
She sighs, glancing toward where Warrick stood earlier. “I think I’ll always be in pain.”
My heart slams against my ribs, and I watch as her face contorts into pain. Fenmore lowers her gaze, and I fully turn toward her.
“The first time I saw your brother, he had broken into my bedroom, and I tried to slit his throat.”
She chuckles, and more tears fall. “Sounds about right. What did Silas do?”
“Flirted.”
She laughs again.
I continue, “But, when I got close to him, I felt it—a cord snapping in my chest. From that moment, thoughts of him consumed me. As much as I couldn’t stand his unbearable hovering, I craved his attention and closeness.
I pushed it away as long as I could, but it was nearly impossible.
Rohhit knows you are out there, Fenmore, and he’s waiting on you to wake him up. ”
She lets out a muffled sob and buries her head in my shoulder. I wrap her tightly and let her cry.
“He’s lost, so fucking lost, and I fear I may never find him. I can’t go on with this pain,” she sobs.
“Then we will do everything in our power to find him. Just keep holding on to that feeling. Listen to your instinct and keep the cord vibrating for him. He can feel it, I promise.”
She wipes her tears and stands up straight. “Thank you, Briar.”
I give her shoulder another squeeze before dropping my hand against the railing once more. Her sniffles begin to quiet, and her chest moves at a steady pace once more.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. Anything,” Fen responds.
“Since being in Andorwood, all I’ve seen are different variations of serpents. What do they mean?”
She smiles. “Ah, yes. All over the castle and streets. I’m surprised it’s taken you this long to ask.”
I huff a laugh, “Been a bit busy.”
“For as long as I can remember, serpents have been everywhere in Andorwood.
They symbolize so much to all of us here.
She pauses before continuing, “Andorwood is known for housing rebels—the forgotten, the criminals—but truly, Andorwood is a place where you can be who you want without judgment. Serpents are celebrated here because they not only represent our kingdom but also embody all of us.”
I narrow my eyes, waiting for her to continue.
“The snakes symbolize many different things: healing, rebirth, temptation, life, wisdom, evil, and unity. We use serpents as our symbol because it allows everyone to feel included, regardless of their reasons.”
I nod.
“When you leave here, I hope you recognize that the people here aren’t the monsters you should fear.” She points a trembling hand toward the mainland, where all our problems began. “Those monsters reside over there.”
“I plan to get rid of those monsters,” I respond.
“I like to think about the positive aspects the serpent represents.” Fen smiles but hesitates to continue, and I assume it’s because her mind goes dark.
“Legend has it that a creature larger than the mountain once lived on the isle of Andorwood, long before the Great Wiitches roamed this realm. Legend states that the God of Darkness, Raddnoke, created this beast.”
“Silas mentioned something about that long ago,” I reply. “We’ve heard those stories on the mainland. Do you believe it?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “Aren’t legends created by drunk men sitting around a fire? I don’t pay them much attention.”
I laugh, and silence falls over us.
“Things are going to change with Silas in charge,” she says, as she looks at me.
“Yes, they are, but it’s going to be for the better.”
“Can I ask you something now?” she asks, hesitantly.
“Anything.”
“Have you thought about when this is over, and you have to rule Daramveer, and Silas must rule Andorwood, what you are going to do?”
Her question surprises me.
No, I’ve never considered that, because honestly, I’m not sure we will ever reach that point. A wave of emotions washes over me, and I struggle to maintain a calm expression.
Why the fuck would she ask that?
“If it’s worth anything, I think you should come here,” Fenmore whispers. “Permanently, when all this is over.”
I feel my chest tighten. “You know I can’t leave Daramveer, Fen.”
“You can,” she argues. “If the reason was enough.”
I blink at her, unable to process what she’s saying.
Give up my reign over Daramveer and return to Andorwood to rule alongside Silas?
“I guess we’ll see what happens,” I reply, sharply.
“I can live with that answer.” Fen turns to enter the house once more. “Come on, let’s get you ready for the Archives. I have some armor that your ass is going to look amazing in.”
I boom a laugh and follow her into the house, but I can’t shake her question.
When this is over, what happens to Silas and me?