Chapter 8 #2
“No, baby. You’re getting dicked down properly because Sergeant told my husband he pulled you over and you told him you were seeing someone. My sister, who I know is afraid of routine, wouldn’t tell a soul that. So who is he and is it serious?”
I glanced at my hands, shaking my head. Before him I would have never been this damn open.
“Look at you all flustered and fidgeting. At least if you’re not gonna tell me his name, tell me about him.”
I grinned. “Tell you about him. That’s like telling you who he is. But honestly, he’s sweet without knowing it, quiet and calculated and… Honestly, he has me kind of stuck. Like even though I’m as fucked up as I am, he makes me feel seen.”
Her smile grew. “Seems like somebody has met that person who didn’t ask her to stop running, but somehow you took your running shoes off for him.”
“I do not run.”
“No, you walk fast and expect everybody to keep up. Shit, you think fast too. You get that shit from mama too.”
I laughed because our mother was definitely that way. She expected everyone to either read her mind or keep her pace. “Whatever.”
“Don’t whatever me, girl. Tell me when I’ll get to meet him. I need to meet the man.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do. Please don’t make me start stalking you. That is not a good idea, Liora.”
“Considering you don’t drive on the expressway and I push the dash every time I drive, you won’t be successful. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to ge—”
“You’re leaving already? This was a drive-by visit.”
“It was. But we’ll talk soon. Promise.”
She nodded. “Okay, but at some point you’re gonna let me meet him without force.”
A giggle escaped my lips before I responded. “Yeah, at some point.” The funny thing was I was saying that to her as well as myself. I mean, yeah, his situation was unique, but it wouldn’t always be that way. After that, what would my excuse be?
“You wanna talk about it?” I asked, watching his irritation grow. The file held something he wasn’t quite ready to accept or know. It was information that made ignorance bliss.
“Nothing to talk about. The facts are the facts.” He glared at the file I had given him, then slid it over to me and pointed. “Two hundred and fifty thousand a day before and another two days after.”
I looked at it and he was right. “Could it be from someth—”
“Nah, it’s what it is.” He moved in front of me on the island, his hands resting on my hips. “Now tell me about your day?” He was angry but trying his hardest not to focus on it.
“But you ha—”
“Nope. Not worried ’bout it. What I’m worried about is why yeen told me ’bout your day. When I called earlier, you sounded heavy. So what’s up?”
I just looked at him. All the moments from my day floating back to the forefront of my mind. “Um, I’m not good at this.”
“Neither am I but I know something bothered you. So talk about it.”
“Why?”
“’Cause maybe I can fix it.”
I stared at him, waiting for a smile to appear on his face or for there to be some sort of indication that he was playing. He wasn’t though. His face was dead ass serious. That somehow had me spilling my guts moments later.
“Adela has brain cancer and asked me to sign on as co-owner of the range.”
“Damn, that’s heavy as fuck, baby. Is that wha—”
“It’s only her and she put the service first and above everything. When she was of no more use to them, she was back here with nothing but herself. She said she’s fine, but she has to be scared and tired of being so hard. I mean, she’s dealing with this alone.”
“You feel like your life mirrors hers,” he said before I could muster the words.
“I mean. doesn’t it?” I asked.
“Nope.” He responded flat out and firmly.
He had more confidence behind that one word than anything.
“Your life doesn’t mirror hers because you aren’t her.
You’re you and you’re mine, Killa. I ain’t going nowhere and neither are you.
Not only that, but your job ain’t your whole life anymore.
You have meaning and belonging outside of it. ”
He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “You good, Killa. Now find a way to be there for your girl and not carry too much of that shit.” He went to pull back, but I locked my legs around his waist, eyes locked on him.
“Okay, so maybe you did just fix my problem a little. Are you going to let me fix yours?”
“You’re already doing that, Killa.”
“Am I?”
He nodded. “Yeah, you are. Now let’s eat.”
I agreed and freed him. Once he grabbed the white plastic bag, he led the way to the patio. He loved it back there. It was the only place where he actually exhaled.
For a good amount of time, that was where we existed. We didn’t do much talking. Instead we just sat here enjoying one another’s space. Even in the most silent moments, I felt him in ways I couldn’t describe, ways I had never felt anyone.
Maybe my sister was right. Iso was a complete life adjustment for me, but it was more than sex. It was him.
“If you weren’t in the business you’re in right now, what would you be doing?” His voice interrupted my thoughts. Several blinks later I was looking at him and he stared back at me, waiting for a response.
I tilted my head to the side. “For a while, when I was younger, I wanted to be an artist or something like that. Something in the art field, then my pops flat out told me I wasn’t good.
” I laughed at what used to be a sore subject for me as a kid.
“Honestly I don’t know, but I always knew I wanted to do something. ”
He nodded. “Do you feel like you’ve done it?”
“A million times over.”
“Then why go back when clearly it’s not what you want?” he asked. The million-dollar question I had lowkey been asking myself.
“Because a small part of me isn’t ready to let go of what helped me find myself for so many years.”
He nodded and didn’t say anything else while I settled heavily on my words. For so long I had relied on the agency to give me substance and teach me who I was. Now that I was finding myself somewhat outside of it, I didn’t really know how to process.
“Maybe I’ll give myself two more years to let it all go and be normal,” I said aloud, tone coated in sarcasm for no reason at all.
That earned a laugh from him, making me look his way.
“Baby, you could never be normal, and that I know for a fact.”
I tilted my head to the side, looking for him to explain his statement. “Something I also heavily fuck with about you. If you wanna get out, do that shit for yourself, not anybody else.”
I was up on my feet, moving in his direction. “Not even for you?” I asked, corny as hell.
“Not even for me, ’cause I’ma be here regardless.” He pulled my body in front of him and set me on the table while he leaned into my abdomen.
“You promise?” I asked, hugging his head.
“No bullshit.”
I smiled at the statement that had kind of become our mantra, our way of saying things we weren’t quite ready to say. Fuck, I don’t know how I got here.
When I woke up the next morning, I was in bed alone and my phone was ringing off the hook. Thank God it was my personal line and not the one that meant I had to drop heaven and earth to get there.
I reached for the phone under my pillow, irritated before I even answered. I opened my eyes for a millisecond, then glared at the screen, seeing that it was Lauryn.
“Yes, Lauryn. This better be goo—”
“Come to Sissy’s house now. Something happened.” She interrupted what would have been a threat for interrupting my sleep.
I sat up immediately, my heart beating uncontrollably in my chest. “What do you mean something happened?”
“Just get here.”
“Why did you call her? I told you I was fine, Lauryn,” Sissy whined in the background.
“No, you’re not fine. You look like somebody put their fist in your face.” Lauryn’s irritated tone had me on my feet getting dressed.
“I’m on my way.” I hung up the phone before she could say anything more.
“On your way where?” Iso’s voice had me turning around.
“My sister. Something happened to my sister.” I grabbed my hoodie and pulled it over my body. Then I bypassed his heavy body and went straight to the bathroom.
By the time I finished, he was standing in the doorway dressed as well. “Whose car we taking?” he asked, like he didn’t have problems of his own.
“Mine. With my plates, I won’t get pulled over. But I can’t have you getting wrapped up in m—” I started but his voice interrupted me.
“Liora, drop all that and c’mon.”
“Come on where? I mean it, Iso. I don’t want you getting in trouble because of me.”
“Baby, I been in trouble before you. Shit, I am trouble. Just don’t kill me on this drive and we’ll be good.”
I shook my head and grabbed my gun from the island as we headed out of the back door. I wasn’t going to say it, but when he called me baby, it did something for me even, in my current state.
The drive should have been thirty-five to forty minutes, but I did eighty the whole way to the city and didn’t slow down.
Iso held on to whatever he could the entire drive because I didn’t stop much and kept my foot to the gas.
I technically didn’t slow down until I was pulling into Sissy’s driveway.
She lived in our grandmother’s house. My mother inherited it from her mother and when she died, Sissy moved in.
I was out of the car, moving toward the door, when it opened and Lauryn stepped out with my nephew on her hip. Her eyes were on me for all of five seconds before they landed on the figure behind me. It wasn’t the moment to badger, but she’d find time.
“Well.”
I shook my head, bypassing her and going straight into the house. Sissy was seated on the sofa in the living room holding a bag of frozen veggies to her face.
“Who did it?” I asked, no pleasantries or good mornings.
She looked shocked that I was even here, but she shouldn’t have been. She should have known I was coming regardless.