Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
ARABELLA
Apparently, my body needed a bit more than a little nap.
I shifted, stretching my arms above my head, as light hit my face from one of the windows nearby. The RV’s windows were tinted, but enough sunlight broke through that it had me squinting my eyes open, confused on why I felt so much warmer than normal.
The reason came to me as I looked up to find that I was wrapped up in Razar, the normal process of setting me in my bed and disappearing not having occurred, much to my pleasure.
When had we moved into the back bedroom? Not that I was complaining. The soft blue and black sheets were cozy and completely taken over by Razar’s tendrils that made the entire room appear to be overgrown with black vines.
I loved it, and I was starting to think that this was even better than having him by the ceiling in my room.
We were currently in the opposite corner from the door, which was closed, the voices from the others muted.
I loved being wrapped up in Razar’s tendrils, his nightmare form filling the space with an energy that I would recognize anywhere.
A thrill ran under my skin as I turned my head to look up at him.
His face wasn’t his human one, it was covered in the black exoskeleton that seemed to sparkle in the light.
I couldn't help but run my hands over it, my eyes widening as it seemed to disappear underneath my touch and turn into cool, bronze skin.
He was so gorgeous in both forms, and I found myself a bit in awe of this man.
I let out a happy sigh, causing his eyes to snap open.
“Morning.” I offered a shy smile as he gave me a confused look and then realized the position we were in, his form shifting fully back to human so fast I let out a small squeak.
His arms wrapped around me as he let out a low growl and pinned me to the bed, leaving me feeling as if I had just gone through some type of whiplash.
“I didn’t wake up like normal,” he murmured, looking shocked, which made me know how much of a tight rein he normally kept on himself.
That wouldn’t do at all. I didn’t have a lot of rules in my life; I did what I believed, and I expected others to be authentic to themselves.
I felt like it was a reasonable way to live life, so I needed Razar to realize just how amazing he truly was, because I could only tell him so many times… He needed to believe it for himself.
“I loved it,” I pointed out. I felt a small surge of panic that he would pull away, and that was truly the last thing I wanted right now.
Hell, I could practically feel the pain that would cause, because while he wouldn’t mean it as such, it would feel like a rejection.
Of himself and us. I wanted to know that he was in this with me completely.
His eyes darkened with vulnerability before he pressed his nose against my neck, letting out a low groan of frustration, his body hardening with excitement in a contradicting reaction, as he accused softly, “You smell like fear.”
“Not fear, more like insecurity that you are going to pull away,” I murmured, feeling my face flush as he offered me a perplexed look.
“Can you blame me?” I asked quietly. “You literally ran out on me last time we were alone together, Razar.”
He grunted and put his forehead against mine. “Fuck, I am messing all of this up… I have no idea what to do, Arabella.”
“I think you’re overthinking this.”
“Even if what Saint is saying is true…” he said, hope flashing in his eyes that he tried to restrain.
“Which it is,” I whispered.
“…the part about hurting you at all fucking kills me,” he grit out.
I nibbled my lip, and for the first time decided to really push him. I was done waiting. I promised myself I wouldn’t live in a lack of knowledge anymore.
“Does it really? Does seeing your marks on my skin bother you that much?”
Razar froze as a growl left his throat. “Don’t,” he warned.
“I’m serious.” I grasped his face, but he wouldn’t meet my gaze. “Razar.”
“Yes?” He finally looked up, his eyes nearly black.
“Tell me that they bother you, that you hate the marks and bruises you left on my skin.”
I knew Razar wouldn’t lie to me, and the feel of his hard length against me told me my instincts were right. His mouth opened before he grunted and let out a frustrated sound.
“They don’t bother you,” I confirmed since he couldn’t say it.
“It just bothers you that they don’t. It bothers you because you think it is supposed to make you feel that way.
I love the marks you left on me. I understand that nightmares are different from humans, and I love that.
You are the only one that has a problem here, and it is blocking you from what you want. ”
From what we both want.
He exhaled. “I have spent my entire life keeping you safe, Arabella. I need to protect you, even if it’s from myself.”
“I’m not scared of you, Razar.” My voice was even, feeling like we were finally getting somewhere.
“You are more scared of yourself and what you feel like you could do than I ever would be of you. I know you would never actually hurt me—” I put my hand up to stop his interruption.
“The bruises from anything we do don’t count. I like those.”
“Fuck.” His snarl was low and almost feral. “Stop saying that. I can’t handle it if you keep telling me how much you like it.”
“You could just give into it,” I offered.
Razar stood up suddenly, without answering me, letting out a sharp exhale and looking towards the door as it opened.
I tilted my head back and smiled, finding Cy looking at Razar with an expression I didn’t understand.
My night terror growled and strode past him, leaving me to look at my creature terror.
“Hey, handsome.” I stretched as his eyes ran over my body with heat. “Where are we at?”
“Currently parked in an RV lot along the lakefront. We are going to be crossing over the Illinois border soon,” he explained, coming to sit on the bed with me.
“Why did we take a break from driving?”
“I think everyone was tired from yesterday,” he hedged, but I could see there was something more there.
“What aren’t you telling me?” I asked, sitting up fully and walking towards the door.
His hand was up on the door frame, attempting to stop me from going forward.
It was a cute effort, but I easily ducked underneath his arm, and he muttered a curse at my quick movement.
Almost immediately, I came to a stop in realization at what exactly had caused us to pause our journey.
Seriously?
“What happened?” I demanded. Amun was leaning against the kitchen counter, smiling antagonistically at Saint, his lip split like he’d been hit and his body covered in dirt.
Saint was being held back by Blackwell near the front of the RV, the terror sporting injuries as well, his eyes narrowed in a promise of retribution. What the hell?
Cy caught me against him and rested his chin on top of my head before I could move forward to get closer to them. Damn him.
Blackwell’s eyes met mine, flashing gold with frustration.
I much preferred when they changed color for the other reason, but this seemed serious.
“They were fighting about…”—he exhaled and looked skyward in frustration—“They were fighting about who won a war that took place literally hundreds of years ago.”
My head tilted back to look up at him. “Are you fucking serious?”
“Arabella,” Damian groaned from upstairs where the RV had been extended. “The word ‘fucking’ in any context sounds so good on your lips.”
I ignored him for now, though I was unable to help myself from smirking.
“So we stopped this very important mission so that you two could fight outside? Or did you fight in here? I’m going to assume it was outside since the RV is still intact. Honestly, it’s like you are trying to get caught!”
Saint turned his gaze on me, offering an innocent expression. “Flower, he was goading me. He thinks he somehow has a better grasp on shit than a god terror.”
Oh man, Saint was pulling out the much debated god versus legend terror argument. That wasn’t good.
“Amun?” I looked at him, wanting his explanation. He shrugged.
I broke out of Cy’s arms and walked forward, keeping my eyes locked on the legend terror. He finally sighed, knowing he had to answer me.
“I was part of that damn war, I’m not going to let him bullshit.” He then smirked. “Saint is just getting forgetful with how damn old he is.”
…and I knew exactly where this was going. I lunged forward so that I was between them right as Saint tried to get to Amun. Luckily, I collided with Saint’s form instead of them starting another fight, but I would admit I hissed at the impact. The man was so hard, and not in a fun way.
Immediately, Saint was picking me up with a panicked expression on his face.
“Are you okay?” he asked. Blackwell let out a dangerous sound.
“I would be better if you stopped fighting and we got on our way to Chicago,” I pointed out, running my fingers through his hair.
“I agree.” Cy walked past and squeezed my hand. I wiggled down from Saint and pinned both of them with a look.
“No more. Promise me you won’t physically fight anymore on this trip. Please, guys?”
“Anything you want, precious,” Amun assured.
Saint narrowed his eyes. “Fine.”
I shook my head and walked towards the front of the RV, wanting to get back on the road as soon as possible.
I heard the others come down the stairs, so I hit the button to compact the second floor.
Looking out the front window of the RV, I smiled.
We were in fact right on the lakefront, the gorgeous glassy blue waters only marred by the occasional boat out there.
I went further up on my toes and shook my head, realizing there were several large craters in the ground where they had been fighting.