Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
ARABELLA
“Excuse me?” My voice hitched. Obviously, the lack of true sleep and travel was getting to people because… What the actual hell?
Blackwell offered me what I think he thought was an innocent look. “You’re up! I thought you would be sleeping for a bit more.”
“You would like that,” I huffed and pushed a piece of hair out of my face. “Seriously guys, what the heck?”
“I don’t understand why you’re upset.” Blackwell kept his face completely free of emotion, as if he hadn’t just said what I thought he had.
“You just said the idea of getting me pregnant makes you want to…” I narrowed my eyes as I blushed slightly. “You know what you said.”
Blackwell’s lips kicked up. “No, what did I say, love?”
“Blackwell, you know as much as I do that your comment deserves way more than an ‘excuse me.’”
“Totally does.” Saint nodded as if he was on my side.
“You said that you wanted little Arabellas around!” I growled at the god terror in accusation. “This is insane! Both of you are insane.” And flattering. Don’t forget that part.
“I just slaughtered six humans and this is the insane part to you?” Razar asked, looking amused. I could tell that he was loving this, and I knew it was because he had caught Blackwell off guard, a nearly impossible task.
“That’s”—I moved my hand around dismissively—“That is something completely different.”
“You seem worked up,” Zain pointed out.
“Why don’t you sit down,” Damian nodded towards the seat near him, but I crossed my arms and shook my head. No way was I getting anywhere close to them right now.
“I am not sitting down until we clear some things up.”
All of them watched me intensely as I bounced on my toes, trying to figure out how to freakin’ handle this. Facts. I would handle it with facts.
“Okay, first”—I put up a finger, even seeing Cy’s gaze dart to me in the mirror—“I’m on birth control, have been for a bit.”
“It’s true, she takes the pill.” Razar nodded.
“Is that how you always know when she gets her period?” Zain offered him a confused look as I put my head down, my face going bright red.
“Well, that and she always goes for the caramel coffee creamer instead of the normal,” Razar explained.
“Why the fuck would you ask us about birth control then?” Blackwell growled.
Razar shrugged. “Wanted to know if you guys had thought about it or not.”
“Can we get back to—”
“Wait.” Saint looked up from what he was reading. “Is that why you got upset last week? I mean, I assumed something was wrong, but it was a bit odd that you started crying about not having a certain type of coffee creamer.”
I put my hands on my hips. “I am not answering that”— because it was true —“and we are not talking about my period anymore.”
“Why are you blushing?” Amun tilted his head curiously. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed of something that is completely normal for human females.”
“Not embarrassed,” I denied, “just off track.”
“Wait, did you remember to bring your pill?” Damian asked, looking concerned.
“Yes!” I groaned. “Any more questions?”
“No.” Saint shook his head.
“Okay…” I exhaled. “Now, onto the next part of this little bit of insanity. We literally just started ‘dating,’ if you can even call it that. Don’t you think it’s a little early to talk about kids?”
“Dating?” Damian mulled over the word. “No, I don’t like that word. It’s very human.”
“We are mates,” Razar pointed out happily. “That isn’t dating. That’s essentially marriage.”
“More than that,” Blackwell agreed.
“You said yourself that I essentially put an engagement ring on you,” Amun stated.
“Maybe we should do an actual ring,” Cy chimed in. I scowled at him, knowing he was purposely causing trouble.
“We could do that.” Damian nodded. “I like that idea.”
“Nightmares don’t really date, very black and white culture…” Saint drew out happily. “You either want to kill someone, usually, or you devote your entire life to their happiness, mate the fuck out of them, and have little nightmares. At least from what I’ve seen.”
“And all of you are just okay with this?” I arched my brow and looked towards Amun. “I mean, you literally just met me.”
“Precious, I told you that I planned to keep you safe,” Amun said easily. “I have never promised anyone that. Just because you accepted that and agreed casually doesn’t mean it is casual.”
“You promised to keep her safe?” Saint asked, looking interested.
“Yep.” Amun nodded as I deflated.
“What am I not getting here?”
“Nightmares only offer protection to people they love.” Damian smiled as my cheeks went bright red, because all of them were very protective.
I put my head down, running my hands through my hair, as I ran through a song in a different language to calm myself down.
I couldn’t have a conversation when I felt a mixture of embarrassment, lovesick, and wanting to jump around and offer a girly shriek at knowing how much they were into me.
Playing it cool. I was totally going to play it cool.
“What is she doing?”
“Calming herself down so she isn’t flustered.” Cy called out, making me snap my head up as he winked at me.
No. He was not allowed to wink. What the heck?
“Don’t give me that look,” Cy mused. “You shouldn’t be surprised by any of this.”
“I’m going back to bed,” I murmured.
“Plus, it really is pretty biological to want to have kids with you,” Razar pointed out, stretching his arms above his head, looking far more lighthearted than usual.
“I am going to go into the bedroom,” I repeated, feeling confused. But also elated. But also confused. I had no idea what to make of their words. I mean, I knew what to make of it because my feelings towards it were crystal clear… They just made me certifiably insane.
“Wait, you need water,” Damian reminded me and was at my side, opening the fridge and giving me some. He kissed my forehead. “You didn’t drink any earlier, so finish that entire thing.”
These men were something else. I slipped into the bedroom and fell back onto the bed, unable to help the smile that slipped onto my face as sleep fell back over me.
I had barely slept before I felt the bed bend under the weight of another body.
I turned over onto my side, and the moonlight coming through the window showed off Damian, his tail glowing a bright pink as it brushed against me.
His chest released a low rumble as we laid in comfortable silence, his fingers brushing through my hair.
I think he had been waiting for me to fall back asleep, but I could feel something weighing on his mind, and because of that, there was no way I could just pass back out. Instead, I found myself scooching closer to him so I could stare up into his golden gaze.
“How are you doing being away from the institute?” he asked.
“I miss my dad,” I admitted quietly, “but I also think some space away while we figure out all of this is probably a good move.”
Damian’s face turned thoughtful. “I can’t imagine what that is like.”
“What ‘what’ is like?” I had a feeling it wasn’t about the second part of my statement.
“Missing your parents,” he admitted before frowning. “Do you ever wonder who your real parents were?”
“No.” I snuggled further against my pillow. “I mean… They didn’t want me, and while that makes me sad, I would rather be with people who do care about me and love me than have my ‘blood’ that doesn’t even want me.”
Damian’s fingers paused for a minute before he nodded slowly.
“That is a good way of looking at it. I know I have it better here than I did with my father, but it’s hard to remember that sometimes.
I think a part of me keeps waiting for my father to show up and realize what a mistake he’s made all these years. That would never happen though.”
I hesitated for only a moment before asking, “What exactly happened between your father and you? Was it the reason you left?”
Instead of tensing at the question, emotion filled his gaze, and I realized the darkness of the room was making him feel more comfortable and at ease with talking about this.
“I wasn’t exactly wanted in the first place.” He rolled onto his back with a sigh as he placed his head against my stomach. I ran my fingers through his hair and over his horns as I waited for him to continue.
“My father clearly made a mistake somewhere down the line, not being as careful as normal, and I was placed at his doorstep days after my birth with a note saying that my mother wanted nothing to do with me.” Damian chuckled softly.
“I still have no idea who my mother is, but I am going to assume that’s for the better. ”
I nodded, continuing my easy touch. His voice turned softer.
“I was immediately handed off to nurses that lived within our kingdom, and I never actually saw my father until my sixth birthday.
Of course I had heard about him, but the first interaction I had with him was coming before his court and bowing down to him. After that, things changed a bit.
“By then he had decided having a son could be a good thing, something that was beneficial to his reign, so he forced me to train and study with him. But by ten, he had decided I was unproven and a failure to his legacy. How he had garnered all that before I even hit my teens is a fucking mystery.
“So he sent me off to an academy that many of the elites went to in Under, and I met Blackwell there. It only took a few missed parental visits for me to decide that I didn’t care if he was Lucifer himself, the bastard was not my father. Not how he was supposed to be… So we came here.”
“He sounds like a dick,” I whispered.
Damian shook his head. “He is just…I don’t know, Arabella. Sometimes I wonder why certain people become parents. I know the fates don’t do shit for us, but you would think that they would avoid giving children to people who hated them.”