Chapter 7 Arabella #2
“I’ll be okay.” I offered a small smile. “We’ll figure it out.”
“But these shoes you mentioned—were they important to you?”
I blinked as Amun chuckled, causing Zain to offer input. “Shoes are always important to Arabella. She has a separate closet for them.”
“Her hoarding tendencies are rather adorable,” Damian said, making me scowl.
“I do not hoard! It’s a collection,” I insisted, my cheeks heating.
Razar offered me an amused look, and I nearly stuck out my tongue but thought better of it.
The one time I had done that, Blackwell had trapped it between his fingers before telling me to not be a brat…
Damn, how the hell had I not put together their feelings for me?
Or at least an obvious desire for me? I was clearly dense.
Or scared to believe in something so wonderful.
Blackwell suddenly stood and looked towards the forest. “We could go back to Ashur’s place and regroup, but that could result in us losing more time.”
“Another option—take one of their cars and drive it into town,” Razar muttered. When he walked up to me, I leaned into him and he pressed a kiss to my forehead, ignoring Ashur.
“We’ll get you new shoes.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the idea of shoe shopping with Razar again. That sounded wonderful. In fact, I wanted to go with all of them.
“I think we should give Kalinda a chance, maybe convince her team to go to the institute and help as well?” I suggested.
Damian brushed off his hands and nodded, making the decision for us as he took the coin from me, throwing it up in the air and lighting it up in pink flames.
I laughed at the fancy hand trick as he winked at me.
When the coin dropped to the ground, yellow smoke began to drift upwards above the trees.
I winced in concern, realizing it could bring unwanted attention—as in human attention.
“Maybe we wait on the tree line just in case some humans come by? I am not certain, but it may not look good to be surrounded by dead bodies,” Amun said, staring down at the corpses.
“I sort of like being around them,” Saint grumbled, looking cranky before flashing me a smile. “But don’t worry—I’ll take care of it, flower.”
Saint slashed his hand in the air, and the bodies just disappeared.
I tilted my head, curious about his chosen method. “Why did you shift at the restaurant?”
Saint tossed me a reckless grin. “Because you like it.”
“That’s sweet of you,” I murmured, blushing because he wasn’t wrong.
“Sweet?” Ashur asked, confused.
I nodded. “It’s totally sweet.”
“I can remove bodies as well,” Ashur grumbled, looking down at the concrete. “Although it may be hard with this shit on top.”
I wondered what he meant, and then I thought about his powers… How much did we want to bet he was talking about absorbing the bodies into the earth? That totally seemed like something he would be able to do.
“Not worth it.” Amun gave Ashur a small pat on the shoulder. “Don’t take that from him.”
Saint scooped me up and held me against him, making Razar growl as I was pulled from his side. But I wrapped myself around Saint, knowing that he was being a bit more possessive than normal today.
I didn’t want him feeling insecure at all. Plus, I was absolutely loving the extra attention.
“So, tree line?” I called out.
Before they could answer, a rustle came from the other side of the parking lot.
I grinned as Kalinda, the leader of the group that had stopped us on the road, strode out.
Much like before, she was dressed in standard hiking gear that made her red hair, ears, and tail—just like a fox—stand out.
Unlike before, though, she was completely alone.
I wiggled down from Saint and met her halfway.
I could feel my mates hovering, but no one tried to stop me.
“You called?” Kalinda reached me, and when I stuck out my hand, she met it before looking over my shoulder. “Is this what you need help with?”
“The blood?” I questioned, because that was the only thing left of the humans.
“No, they’re dead. Our RV self-destructed, actually, so I was wondering if you had a secure line we could call from?
We need somewhere to wait until my father sends ISS reinforcements, and I figured that calling you was better than nightmares driving around in police cars. ”
Kalinda’s eyes widened at that as she nodded in agreement. “You would be right.” Her eyes darted behind me, landing on Ashur. She arched her brow. “You have someone new with you.”
“I do.” I nodded, not offering his name. I was finding myself oddly possessive over Ashur. Well, maybe not oddly, but for some reason I didn’t want Kalinda knowing his name.
“Alright.” She examined my face for a moment before nodding. “Let’s get to camp. It isn’t far—we actually had to travel a bit east to collide with you guys following the restaurant incident… Although, it’s starting to seem like more of a pattern and less of an incident.”
I shrugged. “They attacked our car. Self-defense mechanisms reacted.”
“Right,” she said dryly and then nodded towards the forest line. “Follow me.”
Honestly, I was getting the feeling Kalinda wasn’t my biggest fan.
As we began our walk along the path, I took note of the creatures we passed and even stopped to see a deer with her fawn. Kalinda probably thought I was silly for stopping to gush over them, but they were absolutely adorable.
Then again, the baby version of everything was cute—it was only when they got older that they truly got scary.
“What are you thinking about?” Zain asked, smoothing a hand over my back. Kalinda was far enough ahead that we were able to talk without much fear of her hearing.
“Babies,” I responded, blushing as he made a surprised noise. “Baby animals.”
“Oh.” Zain chuckled. “I wouldn’t have been opposed to the other one.”
I looked up at him and only saw honestly there, my smile growing. “About nightmare babies?”
Zain shrugged. “Sure, nightmare babies—our babies.”
What the heck did I even do with that?
“Our babies.” I tested it out on my lips, lowering my voice. “You guys keep talking about that like it’s nothing.”
“Oh, it’s something.” Zain brushed his lips over our intertwined fingers. “It’s just a lot simpler for us. You’re our mate, so we love you, mate with you, have babies with you. It’s fucking beautiful.”
It did sound beautiful when he said it like that, and I was starting to wonder if maybe I had been just spooked by the concept. Like everything in our relationship, we were moving so damn fast—
I came to a complete stop.
“What?” Zain asked, concern tainting his features.
“My birth control was in there.”
Inside the RV that had blown up. Plus, I had now missed around five days.
It had only been two nights, not even forty-eight hours to me, but out here it had been five days.
Did that mean my body viewed it as five, or as two?
Why the hell hadn’t I brought my medicine with me?
I mean, I had assumed we would only be in there for the day… Shit.
“Maybe it’s a sign?” Zain sounded pleased.
“A sign?” My brows shot up, incredulous.
“Why does she feel afraid?” Razar appeared next to me, gently pulling me to a stop and pausing the entire group.
“Not afraid.” My voice was pitched weird. “Not positive what I am.”
“What’s wrong?” Blackwell demanded as Damian tilted my jaw up to examine my expression, his eyes filled with that emotional depth I loved seeing.
“Arabella’s birth control was in the RV and is now gone,” Zain announced.
“Good.”
“Saint!” I exclaimed in shock. He stood on the path a few feet ahead, his hands on a tree branch above him. He seemed to find this conversation the most casual thing in the world.
“What? You know how I feel about you getting pregnant.” His smile was devious as he shrugged and nodded towards the path. “Come on, don’t want to lose our guide.”
He turned and walked ahead as if he wasn’t being absolutely insane. Talking about it was one thing, but to actively make the effort to…
I wouldn’t go there right now. I couldn’t. Right? Why did I not sound sure?
“Bella.” Zain drew my attention. “I know you are freaked out—”
“Not freaked out,” I promised, feeling a sense of anxiety that usually only accompanied my team’s missions. I mean, objectively the idea of having a baby growing inside of me was…it was a lot. All of this was a lot.
Zain’s eyes softened, but there was still a dark edge to his gaze that I knew came from his terror side. “I promise that everything is going to be alright. And like I said—maybe it’s a sign.”
Then he was trailing after Saint. I stared at the two of them before looking back at the other six men around me.
“He’s crazy,” I said. “They are both crazy.”
“Is he?” Blackwell smirked and then stepped closer to me, tugging me against his chest and leaning down to brush my nose. “I’m glad those pills are gone, love. I don’t like human contraception keeping me from doing my job.”
“Your job?” I nearly choked out in shock.
“He means knocking you up, cherry blossom.” Damian nipped my ear, chuckling at the shiver that rolled over my skin. I was starting to understand what Blackwell had meant about me not wanting to know what was going on in his head about all this, because sweet fates was it intense.
“I’m sure we can find a pharmacy or doctor,” Amun offered, a weird expression crossing his face. “Or not. I don’t think it’s necessary either, but it’s your body, precious.”
“Amun,” I whispered, his words catching me off guard. That was a surprisingly modern view for someone who was basically an ancient Egyptian god! He pressed his lips against mine before continuing down the path, leaving me with Ashur, Cy, and Razar.
Was he being serious? Was it really that easy in this mind?
Cy spoke in a measured tone as I leaned back into Razar, his chest releasing a low rumble. “Amun is right. No matter how we feel, if you want to go to a doctor—”
“It’s not about that,” I rushed out. “I don’t feel pressured or anything like that. I know it’s my choice…I’m just confused. This is just a lot. I went from not even realizing how you guys felt to talking about having babies.”
“Our babies,” Cy pointed out and tilted his head. “Does it bother you? The concept?”
I frowned, trying to decide how exactly I felt, but then Zain called out to Cy and he nodded towards the path. “Come on, we can talk about this once we are somewhere more comfortable.”
I nodded as he strode ahead, and I looked towards Ashur, who was staring at me with an odd look. “What?”
“This medicine stops you from being able to breed?”
I blinked, trying to control my body’s reaction to his question. I knew he meant it as a real question, but holy hell, something about that word…
Actually, it wasn’t ‘something’ about that word. I knew what it was.
I finally nodded. Razar had let out a low rumble at his question but didn’t move to do anything. I knew Ashur just spoke a bit different than the other men. He took my answer and considered it.
“Is that something you want? Are you not okay with the idea?” He frowned, probably trying to come to a conclusion on my feelings regarding it, especially since I had come on his fingers to that exact word.
“I’m not sure,” I answered.
Honestly, that wasn’t completely true… I was pretty positive I knew how I felt about it. But admitting it out loud? I was going to need a bit more time for that.
Ashur’s face turned a bit sad and confused. “I don’t think I should have an opinion on this, my moon. I haven’t earned that right.”
And then he joined the others, leaving me feeling shocked. What the heck? I mean, I suppose with the time we had known one another and our undetermined state of a relationship, it made sense… But he looked so damn sad. I looked up at Razar to find him staring at the terror with narrowed eyes.
“What?” I asked, feeling a bit off-kilter about the discussion, especially since Razar hadn’t said anything.
“I don’t trust that he is here for the right reason. He knows what you are.”
“That just means he understands I could survive mating a powerful nightmare. It doesn’t determine whether someone wants me or not,” I said before adding, “Especially for that type of thing.”
The type of thing that included having a baby.
Razar flicked his eyes down at me in surprise. “Arabella, we have never come across a male nightmare who didn’t want you.”
I offered him a dry look. “Okay, that’s absurd.”
“To understand that you can not only survive mating but also carry a nightmare’s offspring of that level to term,” he murmured, looking down at my lips. “Don’t ever underestimate the pull that has on a terror. It’s like a fucking electric jump-start for primal instincts.”
“Instincts? Like what?” I swallowed, knowing what he was talking about but wanting to hear it from him. I knew he felt similar, but I needed to hear the words.
His eyes flashed darker as he tilted my chin up. “Like the ones that tell me to terrify you so I can feed off your fear. The ones that tell me to hunt you down and pin you to the ground. The ones that insist I breed you until I have a claim on you that no one else has.”
I felt awe and shock permeate my system, never expecting the words to come from Razar.
“And now you feel that way as well?” I asked, wanting to know when this revelation had occurred.
“Now?” Razar’s lips pressed up into a smile. “I have felt that way since I even knew what it meant to want you like that, Arabella. It was why I had to keep such tight control over myself.”
“Razar! Arabella! Come on,” someone shouted, but there was no way I was stopping this conversation right now.
“So everyone is just cool with the idea of me getting pregnant?”
“Cool with it?” Razar chuckled. “That’s one way of putting it.”
“We have to have sex to get pregnant,” I pointed out. Razar stopped from where he had started to lead me forward and looked down at me, his eyes dark again. I squeaked as he backed me up against the tree and dropped his head.
“Don’t for a moment think I don’t want to fuck you, Arabella. I want exactly what they want, I just need to have some damn restraint so I don’t hurt you.”
“Razar, I’ll be—”
“Fine. I’m getting that,” he said. “But I need to make sure I don’t hurt you—at least not in a way that I can’t live with. I promise you, Arabella, that it is never from a lack of wanting you. I will always want you. Forever.”
“Razar.” My voice was rough.
As someone else shouted our names again, sounding further away, he scooped me up in his arms and walked forward. I couldn’t focus on that, though. Instead I was completely focused in my head on one thing—my mates wanted to get me pregnant.
Yeah, I knew how I felt about the idea…but could I accept my own feelings about it?