Chapter 23
Qylar sat back from the table, his stomach nearly bursting from Cryss’s cooking.
He patted his stomach and turned to Kenji, a wide grin on his face.
That grin faded when he noted the dejected look on Kenji’s face.
All day long, Kenji had tried to put on a brave one, but in certain moments, Qylar saw the mask crack and the melancholy seep through.
It broke him.
He knew how to fix it—but fixing it would only cause bigger problems for Kenji.
Turning to Cryss, he patted his stomach again. “I sure have missed you.”
Cryss grinned at Qylar. His gaze dipped to Kenji for a second before returning to Qylar’s with a look that screamed ‘you’re a dumbass piece of shit.’ Cryss pushed up his sleeves and sat back, sliding his hands behind his head and stretching.
Qylar felt Kenji stiffen beside him.
“What are those marks?” Kenji asked Cryss.
Cryss lowered his arms and leaned closer do Kenji could see. “They’re Alex, Zaadi, and Aeloran’s handprints. Since Alex can’t shift, I had them tattooed as his imprint on me.”
“That’s nice,” Kenji murmured.
“And now you’ll add Xandor’s handprint?” Krythar asked Cryss.
“As soon as we get back to San Francisco,” Cryss said grinning. “I just need to set up an appointment.”
“Have many more kids and you’ll run out of space,” Krythar said with a grin.
Alex scowled at his father as he fed Xandor. “I recall you telling me to have plenty of grandchildren to spoil. I give you what you want and it’s still not good enough. Typical parent.”
Ael crawled onto Cryss’s lap to look at the tattoos himself. “Ael’s hand?”
Cryss showed him which hand, and Ael laid his own on top of it.
“Ael’s hand too big,” Ael said, chuckling. “Xan’s hand.”
“You were a little baby like Xan when I got this,” Cryss said, cuddling with his boy.
“I not baby,” Ael declared before giggling from Cryss’s tickling.
“Uncle Kenji?” Zaadi asked.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Kenji said.
“Is Uncle Q going to get tattoos of your hand on his arm?”
“No,” Kenji said.
Qylar could feel Kenji’s pain radiating out to him. He lifted his sleeve and showed Zaadi Kenji’s mark. “I don’t need to get a tattoo. Kenji can mark me.”
“Lemme see the other one,” Zaadi said.
“Only one so far,” Qylar said, peeking at Kenji.
“Why?” Zaadi asked.
“Because he still has to make the other one,” Qylar replied.
“When are you going to do it, Uncle Kenji?”
“I don’t know,” Kenji said, his voice throaty and full of emotion.
Qylar closed his eyes, hating himself more and more. He was damned if he did, damned if he didn’t.
“Why won’t you put yours on Uncle Kenji?” Zaadi asked Qylar.
Qylar stared at her a moment before turning to Kenji—who avoided his gaze. “I’m doing it tonight.”
Everyone except Aeloran grew silent.
When Qylar glanced down at Kenji, he found his mate staring up at him.
“I promised to give them to him for Christmas, so they’ll arrive upon the stroke of midnight.”
“They came upon a midnight… tentacle…” Alex sang, grinning behind the words. “About time, Q.”
“Can I talk to you outside?” Kenji whispered.
Qylar rose. “Excuse us a moment.”
He took Kenji’s hand, and they stepped into the back hallway, out of earshot. When he turned to Kenji, he wasn’t sure what emotions he was seeing in the mix on his mate’s face.
“I told you that you didn’t have to.”
“You want them. I want to give them to you. We both know the dangers. We’ll do it and let the chips fall where they may.” He eyed Kenji closely. “Unless you’ve changed your mind and don’t want them?”
“I’ve not changed my mind, but I’m curious what changed yours.”
Qylar collected Kenji’s face in his hands.
“I’m watching you withdraw from me, and I refuse to let that happen.
If you’re that sure you want to suffer to show the universe you’ve been claimed, then…
I guess I have to give you what you want.
I think that you’re a sadomasochist but luckily for you, I don’t kink shame. ”
Kenji smiled up at him. “Are you really sure you want to do this?”
“No matter what I do, you end up hurt,” Qylar said. “At least choosing this path, I’m not the one directly causing it. The ones treating you like shit will be the ones to blame, not me.”
Kenji shook his head.
Qylar coaxed Kenji back towards the dining room. “We’ll figure it out as we go.”
Just as they returned to the table, Cryss rose and announced. “Bathtime for little ones.”
“Awwww, Daddy… we’re having fun,” Zaadi said.
“Santa can’t come if you’re still awake,” Cryss said, eyeing both kids.
“Santa!” Ael roared before standing in his chair. He grabbed his belly and leaned back with a mighty. “Ho-ho-ho.”
“You’ll make a great Santa someday, Ael,” Cryss said before lifting Ael into his arms.
“Fat ho-ho-ho belly,” Ael said, lifting his sweater to show off his tummy.
“You’ll get there when you’re big,” Cryss said. “Come on, Zaadi-girl.”
Zaadi kissed Alex on the cheek. “Night, Papa.”
“You’re coming back down to leave cookies and milk for Santa, aren’t you?” Alex asked Zaadi.
“Oh yeah,” Zaadi said. “Cookies and milk! And a carrot, Papa.”
“Cookies ho-ho-ho,” Ael sang.
Zaadi leapt to her grandfather’s lap and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Night, Poppop.”
“Zaadi, honey—you’re coming back down,” Cryss said. “You can give your goodnight kisses then.”
Zaadi climbed out of Krythar’s lap and rushed to Kenji’s side. “Night, Uncle Kenji.” She rose on her tiptoes, and Kenji leaned over for her kiss on the cheek.
“Zaadi…” Cryss said.
She ignored her father and kissed Qylar last. “Night, Uncle Q.”
“Are we doing this again when you come back down to leave cookies?” Qylar asked.
“Yep,” Zaadi replied with a mischievous grin before running towards the kid’s room ahead of her father.
Cryss looked at Krythar. “I blame you for spoiling that girl.”
“I wasn’t the indulgent father spoiling her every single night,” Krythar declared. “I only see her every few months.”
“I blame you both,” Alex said. He turned to glare at Qylar. “And that one down there, too.”
Qylar grinned.
“At least someone is finally blaming Qylar for his misdeeds,” Cryss said before turning towards the bedrooms with Ael on his shoulder bellowing ho-ho-ho over and over.
“Now that Zaadi’s occupied, would you like to hold Xan?” Alex asked Qylar.
“Nope. I made a blood pact with the princess. I can’t touch him until she says it’s okay,” Qylar replied.
“Zaadi, go tell your Uncle Q he can hold Xan,” Cryss yelled as he marched into the hallway.
Zaadi came flying out, leapt onto the back of the sectional. “Uncle Q, you can hold Xan now. I’m getting a sister.”
All eyes went to Alex.
“Not me,” Alex said. “I don’t know where she heard it, but it’s a lie.”
“Not from Papa,” Zaadi said. “Uncle Q and Uncle Kenji are giving me a sister.”
Qylar turned to eye Zaadi, but she was already gone. His gaze met Kenji’s on the way back. He lifted his gaze to Alex. “Where’d she get that idea?”
“Don’t ask me. Cryss and I never put that thought in her head. You know us better than that.”
“I think it’s rather sweet of Zaadi to see your child as her sister,” Krythar said.
“If we were sure we were keeping the eggs,” Qylar said. “Sure.”
“You hesitate to give him your mark and now you hesitate on this?” Krythar asked.
“I told Qylar I wasn’t ready to be a dad,” Kenji told Krythar. He lifted his gaze to Qylar. “Then I told him I’d changed my mind.”
“So which is it? Are you having children or not?”
Qylar said, “We don’t know” at the same time Kenji said, “Yes.”
Kenji turned to eye him. Qylar sat stunned. “Are you sure?”
“I finally got you to show me your commitment. So yeah, I’m sure.”
“I was fully committed without the marks,” Qylar said.
“So you said,” Kenji said. “But now I’ll have your sacred vow on my skin. Words can be empty. Action isn’t.”
Qylar’s chest tightened as he stared down at his mate. He leaned in and captured Kenji’s lips. Qylar forgot where he was and apparently Kenji did, too. When Krythar’s cough sounded, Qylar pulled back. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. We’ve all been in love once or twice here,” Krythar said.
Qylar met the man’s stare and for the first time, didn’t feel cool indifference reflected back.
“So… Xan?” Alex asked.
“Oh, shit, yeah,” Qylar said, leaping to his feet. He rounded the table and smiled as he moved closer, finally approved to hold the little bean. “Come here to Uncle Q, Xan.”
He lifted Xan from Alex’s arms and cradled his hand under the baby’s head. “You and I are going to be best buddies. I’m going to sneak you all the goodies Daddy and Papa say no to, let you stay up way past your bedtime, and let you go to school in your pajamas because I’m cool like that.”
“Just remember that whatever you do to my children, I can now do unto yours,” Alex said, a wicked grin on his face.
“Sorry, kid. New management’s in town and we gotta cut all that nonsense out of the contract,” Qylar said, slowly rocking Xan. “We’re gonna eat our vegetables, brush your teeth, and go straight to bed when our parents ask, okay? Okay.”
Alex rose and cleared a few more of the dinner plates away. “I thought that might change your tune.”
“What’re you doing, Papa?” Qylar asked. “You need to get off your feet.”
“I’ve been sitting for an hour,” Alex said.
“So?” Qylar asked. He walked closer to Kenji. “I gotta help your papa with the dishes before he wears himself out. You come introduce yourself to Uncle Kenji, and I’ll be back for you in a minute.”
“Oh, no, no, no,” Kenji said. “He’s too new. I might break him.”
“You’re about to have two of these,” Qylar said. “No time like the present to get some practice in.”
He laid Xan in the crook of Kenji’s arm and watched the panic form on his mate’s face.
“You got this, Kenji. Just support his head and neck and you’re golden,” Qylar said.
“Oh, god, oh god,” Kenji whispered under his breath.