Chapter 18
Idon’t know how I fell asleep with Samuel. Fucking. Harris. In my bed. But here I am, all but lying on top of him—my head on his chest, arm around his middle, and one leg between his. One of his arms is wrapped around me, the other is above his head.
Shit! I can’t let him know I’ve practically attacked him while he slept!
Slowly, I work to extract myself from him and sigh in relief when he doesn’t wake.
I make it halfway to my bedroom door when his voice startles me, and I let out an embarrassing squeak.
“Where are you sneaking off to?” His voice is gravelly with sleep.
The first thing I see when I turn around is his big grin with that heartbreaking dimple peeking out.
His hair is slightly messy from sleep. I smile back at him.
“I wasn’t sneaking. Just didn’t want to wake you.
” He looks like he doesn’t believe me. “I was going to be nice and get you some breakfast.”
Sam props himself up on one arm. “That’s only fair since I didn’t even get dinner before we slept together.” He says it without any humor.
I choke on… nothing.
I’m. Choking. On. Nothing.
Sam laughs as I cough and try to remember how to breathe.
Once my coughing fit is over, I glare at him. “I don’t think you deserve any breakfast after that.”
“Hmmm.” Sam looks around my room, and sits up fully, as if he’s just realized where he is for the first time.
My bedroom is simple, with large paintings of bright blue flowers that add texture and brightness to the white walls.
Large windows on one side overlook the community garden.
Dappled light shines through the sheer curtains hanging across the length of the window, in front of which a leather sling-back chair sits.
Ethan's skateboard still sits on the floor next to the chair. I have a couple of books neatly stacked on a small round coffee table next to the chair. It’s the perfect place to relax with a good book and a glass of wine.
My favorite part is that the chair is large enough that I can easily curl up in it.
My bed is situated in the center of the wall. Nightstands that match the coffee table sit on either side of the bed. The only things I keep on my nightstand are my alarm clock, phone charger, and a reusable water bottle.
His gaze returns to me. “Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed. I was a little worried about that orange thing you call a couch. It was so lumpy, I don’t think I would have been able to walk this morning.” He’s still smiling so big.
“Hey! That couch is well-loved. Don’t insult it!” I accuse as I place my hands on my hips. Truthfully, it had seen better days, but Liv and I got it for a steal and have no plans to replace it.
He raises his hands in surrender, and I can tell he’s barely holding back his laugh.
“Anyway… I’m going to start the coffee and make breakfast. I don’t want to disappoint his majesty.” I curtsey to emphasize my statement.
“I can think of a few things to ease my disappointment.” His voice is so cool and collected. I’m not sure if he’s joking.
Deciding to play along for a minute I raise an eyebrow in challenge. “Can you now?”
“Oh yes. Ones that I assure you, you would enjoy, too.” I don’t miss his wink. I’m melting into a puddle.
Is this real? He can’t be flirting with me. Can he?
Trying to keep up my calm facade, I respond, “I don’t know. It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself.” I shrug, hoping I’m exuding nonchalance. I’m feeling anything but. I love this playful version of him.
Sam’s out of bed in an instant, taking a few short steps towards me to close the gap, shocking me into silence. He leans in close and whispers in my ear. “Just say the word, Kitty Kat, and I’ll prove my confidence is deserved.”
I can’t help but think of that dream. Sam holding me against the door, his lips and hands on me. His cock—my core heats, and I feel the wetness pool.
“I… um—” I shut my mouth because my brain clearly isn’t forming coherent sentences. I look down at my hands to avoid his heated gaze.
“Just a moment ago, your body was wrapped around mine. Now you’re shy?”
My gaze snaps back up to his. Oh my God, I thought he was asleep.
I internally slap my forehead in embarrassment. I feel my cheeks and neck flush. “I didn’t mean to do that, and when I realized, I tried to move before you…” The words come out in a rush. “I thought you were asleep,” I sigh.
He straightens to his full height, forcing me to look up at him.
“I was definitely awake and more than comfortable with you lying on top of me.” He searches my face.
“But maybe another time.” He shrugs and looks…
disappointed as his eyes turn down and he frowns slightly.
He takes a large step back from me. “I’ll make coffee and breakfast while you pack.
” He stalks out of the room, exuding every bit of confidence, I don’t feel myself.
My legs are jelly, and I have to sit on the floor until my heart is no longer beating out of my chest.
I take my time packing my bag and then take a long shower, trying to talk myself out of accepting Sam's offer. It would be effortless; too easy to allow myself to fully acknowledge the feelings I have for Sam. The feelings that have never left.
I’m not sure where this playful side of Sam came from. The only thing I’m confident about is that he’s going to leave me with a broken heart again. I need to stop this.
I shove my feelings back down and only go into the kitchen when I know my resolve is in check.
***
After breakfast, we walk outside, Sam carrying my bag with my clothes. I start turning toward my car when he grabs my arm, his grip firm but gentle. He shakes his head. “Not so fast. You’re riding with me.”
“How will I get back without my car?” My feet are planted on the sidewalk halfway between my car and the SUV.
“Liv is already in Charleston and promised to get you back here safely.”
Of course, he talked to Liv first.
Sam cuts me off when I start to protest. “It’s decided. You’re riding with me.”
Knowing I won’t win this battle, and not hating the idea of letting him drive, I follow him to his dad’s SUV.
Sam stops at a coffee drive-through and orders us drinks before getting onto the interstate.
We’re both quiet for a while when Sam breaks the silence. “Penny for your thoughts?”
I look at him, contemplating whether I want to tell him everything I’ve been thinking. “Just thinking about things.” I shrug.
“Things.” His gaze shifts to mine. “Care to share what those things are?”
“I have a lot of questions, and I’m just not sure when to ask them.”
“Well, we have two hours in the car, so what better time than now?” He has both hands on the steering wheel as he navigates onto the interstate.
“The two-hours-in-the-car part is what has me nervous.”
“That bad, huh?” He mocks a worried look. “What subject do your questions involve?”
“Seattle. Claire. Us.” I look out the window, avoiding his gaze.
I’m clutching my coffee with both hands as if it will somehow give me the strength to have this conversation.
“Things don’t add up for me. Sam, I want to trust you fully, but I don’t know how to move forward without answers.
” I look back at him, gauging his reaction.
He grimaces. I can see the internal struggle flicker across his face as he chooses his next words carefully.
“I haven’t regretted words more than when I told you I only saw you as a friend.
When I saw the hurt flash across your face, I wanted to take those words back immediately.
That look still haunts me. Fuck, I almost told you the truth right then and there. But I knew I couldn’t.”
“What truth? I’m gonna need you to use more words.” He flinches at my harsh tone. “I’ve spent the last several years trying to understand how you could go from spending almost every waking minute with me to telling me you didn’t care for me. That I was only your brother’s kid sister.”
“Kat, I was dating Claire.” He runs a hand through his hair and then takes a sip of his tea. “Fuck, I was talking about getting engaged to her, and you, you are Ethan’s little sister.”
I suck air in through my teeth and look down at my coffee. I refuse to go down memory lane with him if he isn’t going to give me anything to work with here.
Sam shakes his head. “I told Ethan I was falling for you when we were in high school.”
Ok. This is something; I sit straighter.
“I asked him if I could ask you out, and he lost his shit. He made me promise not to pursue you. When he found out you were going to school in Seattle, he told me he would cut off my balls if I ever touched you.” His words are fast, like they’ve been bursting to get out, and the dam has finally broken.
I’m surprised by his answer. Not because of what he said. I’d suspected his feelings were mutual. That’s honestly why this has been so hard. Why I’ve kept my distance. I’ve felt crazy thinking I misread the signs.
I’m also not surprised by Ethan’s role in this. He was always protective of me.
No, I’m surprised Sam’s being this transparent. Finally.
Deciding to push him since he’s being open, I ask, “Why didn’t you marry Claire?”
“Because she wasn’t what I wanted.” His gaze shifts to me briefly, and I catch the vulnerability in his eyes. “Claire was great. I thought she was everything I wanted.”
Please tell me how great Claire is… “But?”
“But,” he drags out the word, “after we got engaged, I couldn’t get what you said to me at the jewelry store out of my head. I kept replaying your words in my mind over and over.”
He takes another sip of his tea, and I think he’s doing it to compose his thoughts.
“I didn’t realize how often I talked about you to Claire—how often I kept bringing you up in conversations.
” Sam looks at me briefly before returning his eyes to the road.
“She called me out for it. I hadn’t really thought things through when I proposed.
I hadn’t really thought through why I did it or what the rush was.