Chapter 30
My morning goes by quickly, and Dad was right, everyone’s been nice. It isn’t until Conner leaves that I realize it’s around noon, and my stomach growls from hunger. The thought of going out for food makes me miss Liv.
Who am I going to get lunch with now that we live in different cities?
Resigned to having lunch without my bestie, I push my chair away from my desk and make my way down to a sandwich shop I saw on the first floor.
I’m walking to the cashier to place my order when I hear a familiar voice. “Hey, Kat, fancy seeing you here.”
I give him a polite smile. “Hey, Conner. I saw this place as I was coming in this morning. Have any recommendations?”
Conner is tall, a little shorter than Sam, and a little older. He’s handsome with dark brown hair and dark green eyes that seem to sparkle with mischief. I laugh internally that here I am comparing another man to Sam again. I fiddle with the strap of my bag as I wait for his response.
“Yes, I highly recommend the turkey avocado club. I swear it’s the best one in Charleston.” He smiles back at me.
“That sounds great. Thanks!”
“Do you want to sit with me? For lunch?” He looks at my feet briefly and then back up to my face. Not in a raking up my body way, more in a way that suggests he's nervous.
“That would be nice. I hate eating by myself.”
“Me too. I figured you would be having lunch with your dad today. First day at the firm and all.”
“He had to take a client out to lunch.” I shrug.
“Well, lucky me!” Conner smiles at me. His smile is nice. Charming. It does nothing for me.
I order, and once my sandwich is ready, I head to the table Conner chose. I sit down in the seat opposite him, open the paper wrapped around my sandwich, and take my first bite. “Oh my God. This is delicious!”
“Right? Best one in Charleston.” He smiles at me. His smile is disarming and makes me feel instantly comfortable.
“So, how long have you worked at the firm?” I take another bite and hold back a moan; it's so good.
Conner rubs the back of his neck. “I guess about eight years now. I graduated from college and was hired by the firm to set up the network, and they liked me enough that they kept me on part time.” I feel a little awkward knowing he worked with Ethan, too.
I frown into my sandwich at the thought, trying to school my features so he doesn’t notice.
“I’m sorry about Ethan. He was a great guy and even better to work with.” I guess I didn’t school my features soon enough.
“It’s kind of weird for me to work with so many people who knew him and worked with him.” I take another bite to avoid saying more and look out the window. I haven’t asked anyone, but I assume the office I’m in was Ethan’s old office. I want to ask Conner, but it feels weird.
“I can only imagine how hard all of this is for you. You know your dad talks about you all the time. He’s been wanting you to work here since you graduated.” I’m grateful for the change in topic.
“I always got that sense from him, but he never asked me to work for him. I think he knew I wanted to go off on my own.”
“What made you change your mind?” His question sounds genuine and not like the accusation my mind wants to interpret it to be.
“I was homesick,” I sigh. “I haven’t lived in Charleston since I moved away to go to undergrad.
I missed it. Then with Ethan… I just didn’t want to miss out on more experiences with my family.
” I’m not even sure why I’m telling him all of this.
I hardly know him. “I didn’t plan to work here.
I was going to move back into my parents’ house while I found a different firm to work for.
My dad suggested I work for him, and it just kind of felt right, I guess. ”
“Well, I’m glad you did.” I look up at him to see his bright smile.
We finish our food and make our way back upstairs to continue our workday.
When I get back to my office, Pam, my new paralegal, is waiting for me. “Hey, Kat, do you have a few moments? I’d like to chat with you.”
I gesture for her to walk into my office as I say, “Yes, of course!”
Pam looks around briefly and sits down in one of the black leather chairs in front of my desk. I make my way around it and sit in my office chair.
“What’s up?” Pam is about my height, with short brown hair and eyes so dark, they’re almost black. She’s older than me, but no more than five years.
She sits up straight in the chair, and the action makes me wonder if it’s a nervous reaction or if she just has good posture. I fight the desire to correct mine to match hers.
“I wanted to chat with you about how I can best support you. I don’t know if you knew this, but I worked with Ethan a lot. I was his paralegal.” She looks down at her hands, and the action makes me think she’s trying to compose herself.
I knew Pam worked with Ethan and had been mentally preparing for a conversation like this.
“Ethan talked about how great you were all the time. He enjoyed working with you.” It’s the only thing I can think to say. She looks back up at me, her features softening at my words.
“I enjoyed working with him, too. I’m sorry about your loss.”
“Thanks.” I shrug.
“Well, I wanted you to know—I’ve worked here the longest, out of all the paralegals.
Whenever a new attorney joins, the partners offer me the opportunity to assist them.
When I heard you were coming in, it was an easy choice.
” Her hands are linked together in her lap.
She sits so still. “I want you to know that I asked to work with you because Ethan talked about you all the time. I feel like I know you already.”
I’m not sure what to say. I never expected Pam to ask to work with me. And all because of Ethan. I swear he’s helping me out when he isn’t even here anymore.
I can’t resist looking away from her as I feel the tears prickle at the corners of my eyes.
I stare through the windows overlooking the city beyond and take a moment to compose myself. The last thing I want to do is cry at work.
Finally, I look back at her and appreciate that she doesn’t seem affected by my moment of despair; she just lets me work through the emotions. “Thank you,” I finally say to her. “This means a lot to me.”
We continue chatting about working together. We cover Pam’s preferences and mine, and I’m glad to know that most of our work styles seem to overlap. I’m grateful to have her.
***
By the time five rolls around, I can’t believe how quickly the day went and how little I feel like I accomplished. With nothing keeping me in the office past five, I clean up my workspace and head home.
While I'm walking to my car, I receive a text from Sam.
I can't wait to hear how your first day went. Call me when you get home?
It was nice. I think I made a friend. I'll call you in about 30?
That's great! Drive safe.
I call Liv on my way home and tell her about my new lunch friend.
“Fuck off right to hell for replacing me so quickly after leaving me!”
“Damn right I replaced you quickly! You know I can’t have lunch by myself.”
“Whatever. I hate you. I’m just sad you have a new lunch friend, and here I am forced to eat lunch by myself.”
“You could make a frieeeend.” My voice comes out sing-songy.
“Pfff, making friends is overrated. Only you and Talia appreciate my spicy ass.”
“You know I love you, but I don’t want anything to do with your ass, babe.”
“I know. You only want Sam’s ass.” Yes. Yes, I do. But I’m not giving her fuel for her sass right now. “On a serious note. Do you think you’ll be happy there?”
“Yeah. I think so. I mean, it’s a bit weird being there with my dad, but everyone is friendly.”
“I’m so glad to hear that, Kat. As much as it pains me to say this, I’m glad you’re back home. I know you were kind of miserable here.”
I thought I hid my feelings well, but as always, I can’t hide anything from her. She sees it all. “Thanks, Liv. My only regret is not making you move with me.”
I finish telling her about my workday and my conversation with Pam. Liv tells me about the family dinner she had the night before with Talia’s family. Things seem to be slowly getting better, but there’s still tension.
I wait to call Sam until after I’ve changed out of my work clothes and made myself dinner—a cheese quesadilla.
“Hey, Kitty Kat. Did you get dinner yet?” Sam says by way of greeting when he answers my call.
“As a matter of fact, Mother Hen, I ate a quesadilla before I called.”
“Good. Now tell me everything about your day.”
So, I do. When I get to the part about Pam, he interrupts me, “Pam? Ethan’s paralegal?”
“How do you—forget about it. Yes, Ethan’s paralegal. Anyway, she told me that she asked to be my paralegal because of Ethan. He talked about me.” The last part comes out wobbly.
“Of course, he talked about you. He loved you.” His voice is so gentle, and I feel the words seep into my soul.
“Thanks, Sammy. I think I needed to hear that.”
“I’ll remind you any time you need it.”
At some point in our conversation, I left the dining table, changed into my pjs, and sprawled out on my bed.
I look at the clock and see it’s nearly 10:00 p.m. when Sam groans, “I don’t want to hang up yet.”
His confession has a smile cracking across my face, and my heart beams. “I don’t either.”
“Kat, our calls every night are the highlight of my day. When I’m having a bad day at work, I just know I need to push through a little longer because soon I’ll be able to hear your voice, and everything will be better.”
“Really? I feel the same way.” I pause for a moment, a thought bubbling to the surface. “Sammy?” I move, so I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed.
“Yeah, Kitty Kat?” He is starting to sound tired, and I waver on broaching this next subject.
Deciding I need this, I push forward. “I was thinking. How would you feel about me visiting you in a couple of weeks? Just over the weekend? I could leave work early on Friday, fly over, and then fly back home Sunday evening?” I chew on my lip as I wait for his response.
“When should I pick you up from the airport?”
I laugh. “Well, I haven’t booked anything yet, but—”
“I can help you book the best option. Let’s do it before we hang up.”
“Yeah, ok. Um, let me find my laptop.” I get out of bed and go into the dining room, where my laptop sits on the kitchen counter.
Sam and I discuss the best flight options, and I book a flight from Charleston to Chicago.
“Fuck I’m excited to see you! I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself for the next two weeks.” I wonder if he’s raising his fists in excitement. The thought makes me smile.
“I’ve missed you. It’ll be nice to spend some time together.”
“I’ve missed you, too. I know you have an early morning, so I won’t keep you any longer. Goodnight, Kitty Kat. Sweet dreams.”
“Goodnight, Sammy.”