Nineteen Ramin
nineteen
Ramin
What. The Actual Fuck. Had he been thinking?
Sharing a bed ? With Noah Bartlett ?
He held Jake’s hand while Noah and Angela gave their passports and information to the receptionist.
“You cold?” he asked.
Jake shivered and said, “No.”
Ramin made himself shiver too, though he was , in fact, cold. Someone had set the lobby air conditioner so cold, the rain in his hair was in danger of freezing. But he said, “Me neither.”
Jake’s shy smile actually did warm him a little.
Angela and Noah returned with handfuls of single-use toiletries.
“Thanks for waiting,” Noah said, barely catching a tiny tube of toothpaste before he dropped it. “For everything. Really.”
“I didn’t do anything,” Ramin pointed out.
“Then what was all that at the front desk?”
Ramin blushed. “Uh, I travel a lot for work, so I have loyalty status here? And I showed them my card?”
Noah whistled. “Well, you didn’t have to do that for us.”
“I don’t mind.” How could he not do that? Noah and his family had wined him and dined him and made him feel welcome for no other reason than that they could. Flexing his Diamond Membership was a poor way of making it up to them.
They crowded into the elevator. This one, at least, seemed made for more than one person at a time.
As soon as the doors shut, Angela blurted out, “My sister’s a lesbian.”
Noah made a choking sound.
Jake giggled.
Ramin just blinked at her.
“Uh… okay?”
Angela’s cheeks reddened. An embarrassed smile slashed across her face.
Suddenly she seemed a lot less intense.
“Sorry. Just, my sister’s a lesbian, and she’s my best friend.”
“Oh… kay.” She might’ve been less intense, but Ramin still didn’t know where she was going with this.
They reached the fourth floor to let off Angela and Jake. Angela stepped out but held the door.
“Just, I wanted you to know I don’t have a problem with gay people. If I came across gruff today, it’s because of family stuff, and not anything you did. You’ve gone above and beyond to help us out, and I wanted you to know how thankful I am. And sorry if I ever made you feel unwelcome.”
Ramin could feel Noah practically shaking from holding in a laugh.
“Plus you have an awesome face,” Jake added.
That broke the tension, and Ramin managed a smile. “I was glad to. Really. And no worries.” It had never even occurred to him that she might be homophobic. Just… intense.
“Uh, have a good night.”
When the doors finally closed, Ramin let out a breath. “Was it just me, or—”
Noah barked out a laugh. “That was super weird. But she’s always like that. She gets stressed and cranky and then gives the most weirdly sincere apologies.”
The elevator let them out on the fifth floor. Ramin led the way to their room, keenly aware of Noah at his back. He’d never been well and truly alone with Noah before. His back tingled. His heart raced.
This was not good.
“Here we are,” he said, way too brightly, as he tapped his keycard and let Noah in first.
“Oh, Ramin,” Noah sighed as he took in the room.
It wasn’t the fanciest room ever—Ramin had stayed in some truly ridiculous hotels for work over the years—but it did have huge floor-to-ceiling windows facing the lake.
The last bit of daylight had turned the sky a murky blue.
From up here, the rain rippling across the surface of the lake looked like the result of some giant child, twirling their finger in the water.
“Is this okay?” Ramin asked. The view was great, but there was still a problem.
A single queen-sized problem.
“I bet this’ll look beautiful at sunrise,” Noah said, turning back to Ramin. “Huh? Did you ask something?”
“Is this okay?” Ramin gestured around the room, toward the single queen bed.
Noah’s eyes softened. His voice dropped low and gentle. “It’s amazing. I can’t thank you enough. Really.”
But then he let out a little shiver. Rain soaked his shirt. The white fabric clung to his torso, translucent where it stuck to his shoulder blades and collarbones.
“You want the bathroom? You’re cold and wet.” Also, Ramin desperately needed a moment to reset his brain.
“So are you. It’s your room. You go first.”
Normally Ramin would’ve taarofed. Insisted Noah go first. Deployed any number of very effective Persian deflections to make sure Noah was taken care of.
But this wasn’t a normal situation, and Ramin desperately needed to escape.
Ramin had dropped his backpack off earlier in the day, and the bell staff had left it on one of the stuffed armchairs in the corner. He grabbed it and locked himself in the bathroom, grateful to finally have some sort of barrier between him and Noah.
Part of Ramin wanted to hide in the shower forever, but the other part was conscientious enough to remember Noah waiting, wet and cold.
He kept it quick. The thought of being naked with Noah on the other side of the door wasn’t arousing; it was terrifying, much too terrifying to jack off in the shower.
Not that he didn’t try. The last thing he wanted was to spring a RAB while sharing the bed—God, it wouldn’t even be all that random-ass, with Noah literally in bed next to him—but the fear gnawing at his chest kept him from getting hard.
He dried himself off with the fluffiest towel he’d ever used in his life.
Then he pulled out his wound wash to take care of his earrings.
He carefully unwound the plastic wrap from his tattoo and studied the design in the mirror: a faravahar, the Zoroastrian winged man symbol that had come to more broadly represent Iranian identity.
His artist had, surprisingly, done one before, and this one was perfect, centered over Ramin’s sternum.
He looked kind of funny with part of his chest shaved, but whatever.
He liked it. Even if his chest was soft and his pecs sagged a bit and there were stretch marks on his stomach below. Even if his belly dunlopped a bit over his waistband. Even if his skin was cherry red from the hot shower.
He washed and dried the tattoo and applied the second skin the artist had recommended, wincing as he stretched the wrong way. Why the fuck had he gotten a tattoo, of all things?
He was Interesting New Ramin, that was why. Apparently Interesting New Ramin liked spur-of-the-moment body modification, consequences be damned.
Now Interesting New Ramin just had to survive sharing a bed with Sad Teenaged Ramin’s old crush.
Ramin pulled on one of the shirts he had packed for tomorrow. Usually he slept naked, but that was out of the question with Noah here. He pulled on a pair of underwear too, plain black trunks. He flossed and brushed his teeth and did his skincare. Took a deep breath.
He could do this. He could share a room, a bed, with Noah.
He could.
Except when he opened the door, Noah was standing there.
Right there.
Hand raised, like he was about to knock.
“Oh!” he breathed. Ramin felt it across his cheek. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Ramin breathed back. When did his voice turn all husky? But Noah was right there . He could feel the warmth of him, even through Noah’s cold wet shirt. Ramin was a hair taller than Noah, but he didn’t feel like it, pressed up like this. Noah loomed over him somehow.
The smell of Noah’s rain-soaked skin wound its way straight to Ramin’s core. His ass clenched.
Noah had said something, but damned if Ramin had heard.
“Huh? Sorry?”
Noah’s hand came up. Ramin held his breath. Licked his lips. Swallowed. But Noah’s eyes weren’t on Ramin’s mouth. They were to the side.
Noah tweaked Ramin’s left earring. It must’ve been off-kilter.
“Fixed it,” Noah said.
Ramin shivered again.
“D-did you need something?”
“Sorry. Uh, do you have a shirt I could borrow?” Noah plucked at his own, pulling it away from the swell of his pec.
“I think so.” Ramin knew so. He always packed like he was going to spill a pot of chili and shit himself three times a day. He tugged down the hem of his own shirt as he dug through his bag and pulled out a pink T-shirt he’d picked up the other day.
“My favorite color!” Noah said. “Thanks.”
Noah’s fingers brushed Ramin’s as he handed the shirt over. Ramin felt it like a shock.
What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck?!
He darted past Noah, holding the backpack in front of his underwear. “The bathroom’s all yours!” he squeaked.
He didn’t breathe until he heard the door close and the lock click.
Thank fuck.
Maybe he could fall asleep before Noah came back out. That would be best, right? Ramin tucked himself into the far side of the bed and closed his eyes.
Except he still needed to charge his phone. Shit.
He reached over and dug through his backpack to find his charging cable and adapters, but there was no place to plug it in on the bedside table. So he got back up and found an outlet next to the floor lamp.
He tucked himself back in bed and immediately started sliding toward the middle. He slid his hand under the cover and felt the seam in the middle of the mattress—or rather, two mattresses, pressed together, but with a single sheet over them.
He shifted to make sure he was firmly on his side.
Was sleeping on his back best? That was safe, right?
No chance of accidentally touching. But what if he got hard and his erection tented the covers?
Side, then. He was usually a side sleeper, so that worked out.
Should he have his back to Noah or his front?
Back was normal, right? Front meant you might kiss, or cuddle.
Outside, darkness had truly fallen, though the rain still hammered the window.
He realized with a start he hadn’t eaten dinner.
Normally he wouldn’t let himself skip, even if he wasn’t hungry—he used to skip all the time when he was in a disordered eating phase—but he was so full from lunch, the thought of eating anything else made him cringe.
But, shit, he hadn’t said his nightly prayers.
Ramin was an atheist. He had been since he was twelve or so. But his parents had both been Bahá’í. Ramin didn’t believe in an afterlife, but his parents had. He prayed for them every night. Prayers for the departed. One for his dad, one for his mom. Just in case.
It didn’t make Ramin feel any closer to any sort of God, but it did make him feel closer to his parents. To the memory of them sitting side by side on their bed every night, silently reciting their Obligatory Prayers together.
Ramin pulled back the covers, sat up, and closed his eyes, muttering the words under his breath.
When he finished, he sighed and began to get back into bed.
“Hey,” Noah said.
Ramin startled. He hadn’t heard the shower turn off.
“Hey.” Ramin glanced over automatically and then immediately wished he hadn’t. Noah was standing in the bathroom doorway, in Ramin’s pink T-shirt and a pair of ugly, baggy plaid boxers, haloed in the glow from the bathroom.
On the one hand, Ramin was almost offended that Noah wore such terrible, formless underwear.
On the other, he was extremely grateful for that fact, because the heinous boxers obscured any possible sign of Noah’s Ark.
“I took this side, is that okay?”
“Of course.”
Ramin slid himself back into bed, facing away from Noah.
“What were you doing?”
“Oh.” Ramin felt heat creeping up his cheeks. “I was, um… praying. For my parents.”
“Did I interrupt?”
“No. I was done.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Ramin closed his eyes, but he still felt the shift in the bed as Noah slid under the covers. The heat rose immediately.
Ramin tried not to think about that.
Or about how Noah smelled like soap and clean skin and just a little lingering remnant of sugared birch.
Or about his erection. He really should’ve jacked off.
That seam in the middle of the bed threatened to pull Ramin into its gravity well. He clung to the edge as the bed shifted. The light clicked off. And then Noah settled.
His breath ghosted the back of Ramin’s neck. Was Noah on his side, too? Facing Ramin? With his Ark pointed right at Ramin’s ass?
This was torture.
“Ramin?”
“Yeah?
“I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch.”
“Me too.” Ramin swallowed. “We were kids. It happens.”
“Yeah. But still. You were going through something awful, and I… I should’ve been there for you.”
“It’s okay. You were going through your own stuff.”
Ramin couldn’t see Noah, could only imagine the warmth in his eyes, but that made it easier to talk somehow. Noah couldn’t see him blush.
The darkness protected them both.
“Thanks for inviting me along today. For making me feel like part of the family. I haven’t had that in a long time.”
“I was glad to. I had fun. We all did.” Noah’s voice dropped so low Ramin could barely hear it. “I don’t think you’re boring at all.”
Ramin chuckled. It was nice of Noah to say, but he’d only seen Interesting New Ramin. He’d missed the last twenty years.
But he liked being not-boring to Noah.
“Thanks. I think you’re pretty cool too.”
“Thanks.” It was Noah’s turn to chuckle. The laugh made the hairs on Ramin’s neck stand up. “I try.”
“Seriously. You’re kind and you’re”—Ramin was about to say handsome but that was definitely not appropriate—“you’re patient and you’re thoughtful. You always have been.”
Noah went quiet for a long moment.
“Thanks.” He sighed. “It’s nice to have someone that knew me before. Before Angela and Jake, I mean. Sometimes it feels like that’s all I am to people. Jake’s dad. Angela’s ex. But to you, I’m an old friend.”
Ramin’s chest heated. He slid his feet around to find a cooler spot. “I’m glad.”
The rain kept falling. Noah kept breathing. Eventually, Ramin relaxed enough to breathe himself, too.
“Night, Noah,” he whispered. He didn’t even expect an answer.
But Noah whispered back, “Night, Ramin.”