Twenty-Four Noah #2
Ramin tripped on the sidewalk, but Noah caught him. When Ramin straightened up, they were chest to chest. Ramin’s face was flushed. He blinked, his head sagging a bit to the side.
“You came for me,” he said. “I thought you were done with me.”
After the shouting in the club, Ramin’s voice had gone soft and sad. Noah ached that he’d made Ramin think that.
“My phone was dead,” he explained. “And then I was out with Jake and Angela while it was charging. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging. I didn’t want you to think I don’t want you. Because I do. I…”
Before Noah could explain more, Ramin was leaning into him, enveloping Noah’s mouth with his own. His kisses were forceful, needy, a little bit sloppy, but Noah could feel the smile in his lips.
Still, they had to talk about things first. He broke the kiss, held Ramin at arm’s length.
“Hey. Hey. You okay?”
“I don’t usually have gin,” Ramin admitted. He rested his head against Noah’s shoulder. “I think I’m drunk.”
“Let’s get you home. Which way?”
“Uh.” Ramin looked around, confused. Pulled out his phone, but the screen stayed dark. He blew a raspberry. “Now my phone is dead. Cockblocked by an iPhone.”
Noah’s chest fluttered, but he wasn’t thinking about that right now. “We can go to my hotel. I have a charger.”
“Okay.”
Noah kept hold of Ramin’s hand as he led the way back to their hotel. As they passed a pharmacy, Ramin snickered.
“Look. The vending machines sell condoms.”
Sure enough, a large silver vending machine stood outside the dark, locked pharmacy. It had more than just condoms: There were lubes, vibrators, tampons, pregnancy tests, even little bottles of soap for washing your butt when you used the bidet.
“Guess what! My luggage showed up!” Ramin sighed. “I didn’t bring any condoms in your size, though.”
Noah blushed, but his heart skipped a beat. He liked knowing that Ramin was thinking about him like that .
He really, really liked it.
Ramin rested his head against the lit-up glass of the vending machine and heaved a sigh that would’ve made Jake proud. “And the pharmacy is closed.”
Noah smiled.
He wanted to do more with Ramin. But not now, while he was drunk.
“We’ll figure something out,” he said, hoping to get Ramin moving again.
It worked. Ramin pouted, but he started walking again.
Noah let Ramin in as quietly as he could. The walls were thick enough, he didn’t think they’d disturb Jake and Angela, but on the off chance they woke up, he didn’t want to have to explain this. Not when he was still trying to wrap his head around it himself.
“You want some water?”
Ramin nodded. He could hold his head up straight again, and his walking had improved. He was sobering up, at least a little. He scratched at the center of his chest.
“I better. Thanks.”
Noah grabbed a bottle, handed it over. Ramin cracked it, took a huge glug, and immediately spat. He coughed and wheezed as Noah patted his back and winced at the noise.
“The bubbles,” Ramin sputtered.
Crap, Noah hadn’t meant to grab the frizzante one.
Ramin wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
Why was that so sexy?
He took another, slower drink, as Noah self-consciously assessed his room. It was smaller than the one they’d shared in Como. And messy, too. Who could keep a neat hotel room when you sometimes shared it with a nine-year-old?
Noah gestured for Ramin to sit on the bed, then settled down next to him.
“Thanks for coming to get me.” Ramin sighed. “How’d you even find me?”
“Your picture.”
“I sent a picture?”
Noah’s eyebrows raised, and Ramin blushed.
Noah liked it when Ramin blushed, liked the way the pink spread all the way down his neck, toward his collar.
“No more gin,” Ramin muttered.
“At least you didn’t book another international trip.”
Ramin snickered, giving him a mischievous grin.
More than anything, Noah wanted to tackle him to the bed and kiss him all over. He had to wait, though. Ramin had to be completely sober before they did anything else.
“But why ?” Ramin asked. “You could’ve waited for the morning.”
“I didn’t want you going home with any of those other guys,” Noah growled. He blinked, surprised at himself. He hadn’t mean for it to come out so gruff.
Ramin’s eyes danced.
“Oh yeah?”
“I mean…” Noah swallowed. “You’re a grown man, and you can do whatever you want. Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Ramin said. “I liked it when you—”
He snapped his mouth shut so hard his teeth clicked.
Noah’s heart sped up. Ramin liked it when he what ?
He had to know!
Ramin finished off the water bottle, his blush growing more intense. He kept avoiding Noah’s eyes.
So Noah took Ramin’s free hand and rubbed his thumb along Ramin’s tattoo. Ramin shuddered at the touch.
“Come on,” Noah said. “Tell me.”
But Ramin clamped his mouth shut in a shy smile.
That smile of his was going to get Noah in trouble.
Noah didn’t know what came over him, but in a heartbeat he lunged, pinning Ramin to the bed. The empty water bottle bonked to the ground as Noah held Ramin’s hands against the mattress, using his hips to trap Ramin’s legs.
Suddenly they were eighteen again, horsing around in the hallways. Noah kept his laughter as quiet as he could.
“Tell me!”
Ramin laughed and struggled, but Noah didn’t let him up. Not until he heard Ramin’s breaths get ragged, felt Ramin’s arms shaking beneath him.
Noah felt like he’d been dunked in a cold tank. He let go of Ramin in an instant, retreating to his side of the bed.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”
Ramin blinked. “Sorry? For what?”
“You were trying to get up, and I wasn’t listening, and—”
Ramin shook his head. He sat up, adjusting his erection. Noah tracked the movements and realized he was licking his lips.
He had to stop perving. Ramin had been drinking tonight. Everything was off-limits.
“I liked it,” Ramin whispered, rubbing at one of his wrist tattoos.
“You what?” Noah had to have heard wrong.
“I liked it.” Ramin finally met Noah’s eyes. “When you held me down. I really liked it.”
And then he squinted.
“I also really have to pee.”
Noah snorted as Ramin slipped into the bathroom and closed the door. Noah followed and knocked. “There’s extra toothbrushes in my bag.” He always traveled with extras for Jake.
“Thanks.”
Noah paced, trying to make sense of what Ramin had just told him. He liked being held down? Noah had spent his whole adult life being careful with people in bed. Because of his size, because of his strength, because he was a white man and there were always power dynamics to consider.
“Thanks,” Ramin said, emerging from the bathroom smelling fresh. “I think I’m sober enough to make it home.”
“You don’t have to go.”
“I really should.”
“Please.” Noah knew it was risky. Angela and Jake were right next door. But after sharing a bed with Ramin last night, he couldn’t help wanting to do it again. “I liked cuddling.”
He liked what they’d done this morning, too, but that was a conversation for when Ramin was totally sober.
Ramin looked down, but he couldn’t quite hide his dimples. “I liked it, too.”
Noah let Ramin get settled while he took care of his own nighttime routine. He brushed his teeth and popped in his night guard. He’d ground his teeth off and on most of his life.
He peeked out and saw Ramin still in his shirt, so Noah kept his on too. Normally he’d sleep in just his boxers, but he didn’t want Ramin to be uncomfortable.
Noah slid into bed behind Ramin. “Is this okay?”
“Why does your voice sound weird?”
Ramin twisted to get a look. Noah opened his mouth.
“Night guard.”
Ramin’s face softened so sweetly. He leaned in and planted a kiss on Noah’s nose.
And then he snuggled into the pillows.
Noah clicked off the light. He was facing Ramin’s back, but they weren’t touching. Should he reach out? Pull Ramin in closer to spoon? Did Ramin only like being the big spoon? Noah didn’t mind either way. He’d turn over if that’s what Ramin wanted.
“Ramin?” Noah asked.
“Yeah?”
“You… want to cuddle?”
Ramin scooted back and let Noah wrap an arm around him.
They breathed quietly for a moment. Beneath Ramin’s shirt, Noah felt something smooth and slick. He rubbed his thumb against it and Ramin flinched.
“That’s my tattoo. It’s still healing.”
“Sorry.” Noah planted a soft kiss on Ramin’s shoulder. That seemed safe, right? He wanted more, wanted to peel off their clothes, feel Ramin’s skin against his. Wanted to pin Ramin down to the bed and make him talk. Wanted… well. Wanted.
He couldn’t do all that, not right now. Instead he asked, “What did you mean earlier?”
“Huh?”
“When you said you liked it when I held you down.”
“Oh God.” Ramin’s voice was small. Embarrassed. “Forget I said anything.”
“Come on.”
Noah jiggled Ramin.
“Just… sometimes I like being… dominated.”
“Dominated?” Noah’s heart beat faster. Why did that excite him?
“Ugh.” Ramin twisted around. Noah could barely make out the green of his eyes in the dim light filtering in from the window. “Don’t freak out, okay? It’s just a kink.”
“Okay.” Noah hadn’t given much thought to kink before. He didn’t even know if he had any. What was a kink and what was just… what you liked? Or what your partner liked?
And why did he want to pin Ramin to the bed again?
“I’m not freaking out.”
He was, however, making a mental list of things to google.
“Can you explain a bit more?”
Ramin sighed. His minty breath washed over Noah’s face. “I like being… told what to do. Held down or bossed around or made to… not literally made to, but just kind of… I don’t even know how to explain it.”
“Huh.” Noah tried to bite his lip, but he only managed to smoosh it beneath his night guard. “How come?”
“I don’t know? Maybe my therapist would say it’s because I have to be in control of so many things in my life so I like it when someone else takes control? But I think I’ve always liked it. When I used to dream about you—”
Ramin’s voice choked off.
Noah grinned. “You used to dream about me?”
“Ugh. I’m still drunk.”
Ramin might have been buzzed, but Noah didn’t think he was drunk anymore.
“Uh-huh. Sure.” He tightened his arms. “Come on, tell me.”
Ramin whined and closed his eyes.
“I won’t judge,” Noah said.
Ramin groaned. “Fine. Remember how I used to be on newspaper? Back in school?”
“Yeah.”
“I dreamed I was covering one of your wrestling matches, and then I had to pee, and you came in to the bathroom, too, in your singlet, and you… I can’t believe I’m telling you this.”
“I’ll keep your secret.” Noah’s heart was hammering. Could Ramin feel him getting harder in his boxers? Maybe Noah was a little kinky, too. “So. What happened?”
“You shoved me into a stall, and told me you’d seen me checking you out, and you… pushed me down to my knees and made me give you a blowjob.”
Noah felt like Ramin had splashed cold water over him. Consent was the most important thing. “I would never—”
Ramin’s hand came up to shush Noah with a finger. Noah’s lips tingled where they touched.
“I know you wouldn’t. But it was… really hot. In the dream, I mean. I woke up wet.” Ramin snickered. “Also, in the dream your dick reached the floor.”
Noah snorted. “You’re a menace.”
“So. You don’t think I’m weird?”
Ramin said it lightly, but there was a quaver there. Did he honestly think Noah would judge him?
Noah would never do that.
“I don’t think you’re weird.” Honestly, Noah had liked holding Ramin down. And he’d liked it, back at the club, when he’d told Ramin they were going, and Ramin had obeyed.
Maybe Noah liked being in charge, sometimes. What did that mean?
Maybe Ramin’s therapist would say that Noah spent too much of his life making other people happy, listening to what others wanted, letting people steamroll him, first his parents and then Angela, twisting himself inside out to make sure Jake was happy and healthy and taken care of.
Or maybe he just liked it because he liked it.
Noah had never had sex dreams about Ramin when they were younger, and certainly not ones involving bathroom blowjobs. But looking back, in his limited experiences with guys, he had enjoyed taking charge. The feeling that he could be rougher.
Yeah. He was definitely a little kinky.
“I can’t believe I told you all that,” Ramin said.
“Me neither,” Noah teased.
He leaned in and kissed Ramin’s nose.
Ramin giggled, but the laughter turned into a yawn, which set off Noah’s own yawning. It was past two in the morning. Noah was exhausted. And Jake liked to wake up early.
He rested his forehead against Ramin’s for a second.
“Get some sleep. I’ll take care of you.”
“I know you will,” Ramin said. He turned over, letting Noah spoon him again, and sighed.
Noah breathed deep until he could feel their heartbeats sync up. His penis lay warm and heavy in his boxers, but it wasn’t even half hard, and if Ramin noticed it, he didn’t mention anything.
He could stay like this forever.