Chapter 13
After an hour of rage-fuelled cleaning, I decided to walk over to Dad’s for lunch. I’d been worrying about him ever since he’d read the postcard. Next time, I’d look at it after he’d gone. On top of that, I was stressing about what he’d do if he found out about Jonah and Ellis turning up at Bloomers.
‘Ah. Libby, I wasn’t expecting you,’ he exclaimed, when I let myself into the garden via the back gate, calling hello as I rounded the corner of the house.
Well, that quickly became clear.
The patio table was set for two. And, by ‘set’, I mean with enough cutlery for three courses, cloth napkins and a vase of daisies. A second later a woman appeared at the open kitchen door, carrying two glasses containing what looked to be prawn cocktails.
It took me a moment of taking in her ash-blonde bob, immaculate cream trousers and white blouse to realise it was the headmistress at Finn and Isla’s school, Miss Marsden. Or Janet, as Dad now introduced her.
‘Libby, hello. Fancy seeing you here,’ she said, as if I didn’t spend more Saturday lunchtimes here than at my own house. ‘Don’t tell me Tony has to be on family duties at the weekends as well as most of the week. Let the man have a day off to enjoy his own life!’
That stopped me in my tracks. Was that how Dad saw looking after his grandchildren, as a duty? Did he tolerate me calling over at weekends out of pity? I was here to check that he was okay!
‘I’m joking.’ Janet laughed as she placed the glasses on the table, but there was a distinct chill behind her smile. ‘I know how much he loves you. He talks about you and the kids all the time.’
There was an alarming moment where it felt as if the world had tilted slightly, just enough to send my insides lurching. My dad, who’d needed me as much as I’d relied on him for the past few years, had a date. Or was this more than a date? Janet had certainly made herself at home, I noticed as she poured out two glasses of wine.
I’d only ever seen Dad drink beer.
He’d had a haircut and was wearing a proper shirt and full-length trousers.
Did he have a whole other life – his own life – that I knew nothing about? Was I that child, the one who thought they were company for their lonely parent when actually he couldn’t wait for them to grow up and stop bothering him?
For a dreadful few seconds I had to fight back tears.
Then Dad pulled up another chair and started splitting his prawn cocktail into two glasses, giving me no polite way to avoid gatecrashing whatever this was, and I had to pull myself together and act as if everything were normal.
‘I didn’t realise you two knew each other,’ I said, once we’d covered the basic how-are-yous.
‘Well, I do pick the kids up three afternoons a week,’ Dad replied.
‘I don’t normally see you around the playground at home time,’ I said to Janet, trying not to sound as though I was interrogating her.
‘Well, you aren’t a single man with a decent pension and a striking head of hair.’ Janet winked at Dad, and I almost choked on a prawn.
‘Another joke!’ Dad chuckled. ‘My pension is abysmal. We simply got chatting about how I could help at the summer fete, and found out we have a lot in common. Of course, we’re just friends.’
Are you?I wondered, noticing the frozen smile on Janet’s face as Dad started talking about the fete. He’d said nothing about Janet referring to him as single. It was weird, seeing him having a nice time with someone other than Mum, but I realised with a sinking heart that it shouldn’t be. Mum had been gallivanting across the world for years. Should the thought of him and Janet being more than friends feel so terrible?
I stayed for a bowl of home-made pasta, but by the time Janet nipped inside to assemble the meringues she’d brought for dessert, her not-so-subtle glances made it clear I’d been playing gooseberry long enough.
‘I’m going to leave you to it,’ I said, standing up.
‘Why?’ Dad appeared genuinely baffled. ‘You love meringue. I wanted to hear what you thought about Janet’s plan to create a school eco-garden.’
I sat down again, checking the back door was clear before leaning closer and taking hold of Dad’s hand. ‘I think Janet would prefer it if I left.’
‘What are you talking about?’ He shook his head, offended on her behalf. ‘Janet likes you. She told me.’
‘Yes, but that doesn’t mean she wants me gatecrashing. This is a date, Dad, whether you knew it or not.’
Dad’s mouth dropped open at the very thought. ‘But I’m a married man. I stated very clearly that we’re simply friends. Why on earth would she think that?’
‘I don’t know – a three-course lunch with a bottle of wine?’
Before he could reply, Janet reappeared, causing him to swiftly cover up his rattled demeanour by pouring her another glass of wine, tipping half of it all over the pretty tablecloth.
I left them to clear it up.
The instant Brayden’s car pulled into the drive the rear door flew open and Isla tumbled out, streaking across the drive, her orange sundress flapping behind her.
As I opened the front door, she shot through, ignoring my wide-stretched arms and hurtling up the stairs. I caught a glimpse of her tear-streaked face as she passed me. I would have followed her, but Finn was now outside the car, and Brayden wasn’t the only person standing with him.
‘Hi,’ I said, making the split-second decision to find out what had happened before heading upstairs.
‘Mum!’ Finn said, turning to face me. To my surprise, he was smiling. ‘Silva and Dad are having a baby!’
‘Wow. That’s… massive news!’ I vaguely registered my stomach shrivelling into a hard, angry ball. ‘Is that why your sister’s crying?’
He shrugged. ‘Either that or because one of her chips was wonky or today had a letter Y in it.’ He glanced at Brayden and Silva, waggling his eyebrows to share the joke.
‘Okay. But I don’t think Isla crying is something to joke about.’
‘Yeah, but she’s?—’
‘Go inside, please, while I talk to your dad for a minute.’
‘What? I haven’t said goodbye yet.’
‘Quickly, then.’
Finn fist-bumped his dad, and then disconcertingly gave Silva a hug before disappearing into the house.
‘What the hell, Brayden?’ Added to the drama that had been bombarding me over the past couple of days, this had me about ready to blow. ‘You sprang this on them without discussing it with me first?’
His jaw set firm. ‘What, are you vetting the conversations I have with my kids now?’
‘If it’s something this serious then you could at least warn me. I could have helped prepare them.’
‘Brayve wanted to share the happy news with his own children without you twisting it into something negative first,’ Silva said.
‘Stay out of this. It’s none of your business.’ I swung my body around to face my ex-husband, daring him to let that comment from his girlfriend go.
‘Maybe let us talk this one out, babe.’ Brayden grabbed Silva’s hand and kissed it, gazing into her eyes for a nauseating few seconds before turning back to me.
‘Finn wanted to play football, so Silva very kindly brought my ball to the park. The kids wanted her to stay, and when she got out of the car they noticed her bump.’
My eyes flashed over to Silva’s skintight strapless dress.
‘They needed to find out anyway. It’s not a big deal. You saw Finn; he’s fine with it,’ Brayden went on.
‘And while we’re discussing it,’ Silva interrupted, ‘it’s vital that we cultivate a positive relationship between all of Brayden’s children, so we’ll be spending a lot more time together as a family from now on.’ She then caught the look on my face and quickly clamped her mouth shut.
‘It’s not Finn I’m worried about.’ My voice was trembling with emotion. ‘I can’t believe we spoke about Isla only this morning, and then you did this to her. There’s not a chance in hell of you spending more time together when, every time she sees you, she ends up upset. Right now, I’m seriously considering whether it’s a good idea for you to see them at all.’
‘Keep your voice down,’ Brayden snapped, nodding behind me. I turned and saw Finn standing in the doorway holding his favourite stuffed elephant while trying to put his trainers on. Mercifully, he didn’t appear to have heard me.
Before I could respond, Isla pushed past him, racing over and pressing one of her own cloth dolls into Silva’s hand.
‘Sorry, sorry. It took me ages to find it. I wanted my new baby sister to have my best one. Mummy!’ She spun around, eyes shining. ‘Did you know Silva and Daddy are having a baby? I’m going to be a big sister and have a little sister! I was so happy and excited when they told me, I couldn’t stop crying all the way home.’
Then she flung her arms around Silva’s midriff and pressed one cheek against her bump. ‘Hello, baby sister. I love you!’
Brayden said nothing while he kissed both his children goodbye and gently helped his partner get into their low-slung sports car, carrying the elephant and the doll. After the years we’d shared a life together, he didn’t have to. The raised eyebrow and defiant puff to his chest said it all.
Nicky messaged me that evening.
What are you up to?
I had a quick debate with myself about whether to be honest: throwing a full-on pity party for one.
In the end I stuck to the facts.
Watching TV with a jumbo bag of tortilla chips
She replied instantly.
Perfect! My open-water swim club is going to the new comedy club in Newark and Miranda’s got a migraine
Did you forget the minor detail of me having two small children?
Can’t you ask Dad to watch them?
I remembered Dad pouring the lovely, slightly formidable Janet a glass of wine and shuddered.
He’s on a date
WHAT?
She sent me two more messages.
Ok, you absolutely have to come now
Hang on
I turned the volume up on the tedious game show I was pretending to watch and stuffed in another mouthful of crisps.
Miranda’s babysitter’s more than happy to do it. Roisin used to be a TA in Finn’s class so you probably know her. I’ll pick her up and see you in twenty.
Don’t worry about the ticket or babysitter, my treat
No, being forced out after what was one of the most unsettling, emotional weeks I’d had all year was not a treat.
Sorry but I’m going to have to pass. B’s girlfriend turned up at the park and told the kids she was pregnant. I’m not leaving them with a stranger this evening.
A split second later Nicky called me.
‘What the hell?’ she said, outraged on Finn and Isla’s behalf. ‘He hadn’t warned you first?’
‘Of course not. Apparently, I’m far too crap a mum to have a say. They’re his kids and he’ll tell them what he likes.’
‘Ugh. Just when I think he can’t get any worse. I’m so sorry. Are they really upset?’
I closed my eyes. ‘Still processing.’
They’d spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening chattering excitedly, wondering what the baby would be like and all the things they’d do together, so this wasn’t technically a lie. What I probably should have said was that I was really upset. About Dad’s date, the postcard, Brayden deciding to become father of the year. Jonah and Ellis. Courtney and Hazel… The realisation that I had zero life outside work, my kids and gatecrashing my dad’s dates.
As I said, majorly self-indulgent wallowing was in full swing.
For a fleeting moment I wondered about accepting the spare ticket and going out for the first time in longer than I cared to think about. The truth was, my kids were great sleepers who wouldn’t make a peep until morning. I’d met Roisin a few times. She was absolutely lovely, and Isla and Finn both knew her.
But then I thought about me going out with Nicky’s friends, who got up at the crack of dawn and jumped into lakes together, no doubt spending the rest of the week doing equally wholesome activities.
What did twenty-nine-year-old women even wear to a comedy club on a Saturday night? Probably not dungarees and a saggy T-shirt. Definitely not the pyjamas I was currently in.
Spending an evening with intimidatingly awesome women felt like something that would not help me feel any better right then.
‘Best if I give it a miss this time. I don’t know how long it’ll be before Isla’s settled. But thanks for asking. I hope you have a great night. Call me tomorrow and I’ll fill you in on Dad’s “friendly” lunch.’
For the first time in a very long time – thirteen years, in fact – I flat out lied to my sister.