17. Thick in It
17
THICK IN IT
MAISY
Thick in the middle of the testing phase of this project, I was busier than ever. My team and I ran trials, and ushered groups of employees in and out. Once all the approvals and paperwork were received for other non-Orion staff to be tested, so far, I’d had two groups experience the room: patients in early stages of dementia, and marketing professionals—arranged with Sophie’s help from one of her business associations she belonged to.
Today, college freshmen were my test subjects, twenty of them wearing the feedback devices, sitting in my sensory room, and cramming for their final exams. At the control panel, I managed the environment, while on my laptop their feedback devices tracked their incoming data on a constant feed, tracking their physiological responses.
So absorbed in my work like that, I didn’t realize Brooks had arrived by my side until he said hello. I almost started and yelped but controlled it. I’d hate to be the stress stimulus to ruin the testing and skew the data.
“What are you doing here? I’m working,” I half complained.
“I brought you lunch, because I’m sure you haven’t eaten all day.” He set the bag down but I didn’t smell anything, thankfully, because any new scent introduced into the room would also ruin my testing.
“What did you bring me?” I didn’t want to open it for fear of releasing any scent.
“I made it myself. A turkey sandwich with avocado, and some nuts and dried fruit mix.” He winked. “Enjoy it, babe. I’ll see you tonight, I hope?”
“Thank you for caring.” I nodded and he left. He was right, I hadn’t eaten at all today. But I’d enjoy the sandwich very soon because this session was about over. I gave the instructions for wrapping things up, including using a QR code to answer questions about their experience on a survey, thanked the participants for their time, and had them all turn in their devices before leaving.
Finally, I was able to take a breather, and intended to eat. I brought up all the data I’d just collected, letting the analytics run on my screen which I went to the restroom to wash my hands.
While there, I ran into Dr. Stone. She greeted me warmly at the sink. “Ah, Maisy. I had a look at your first draft to the presentation and the initial data sets you’ve been collecting. I’m excited about your findings. You’re right on track.”
Her assurances meant a great deal to me. “Thank you so much. I needed to hear that today.”
“I have a few notes for improvements and some suggestions so far, nothing major. I’ll email them to you by the end of the day. Keep up the good work.” She left me in high spirits, the lift I need to get me through the afternoon.
Until I walked back into the sensory room and found Julian at my computer looking at the data. He was the last person I wanted to see.
“What are you doing here? Please get away from my computer,” I yelled. My entire body tensed like someone flipped the switch from serene to guarded.
“Maisy. Good to see you, too.” He sauntered off to the side, but he was still in view of the screen, his eyes focused on it. “It’s been some time since we talked. I thought I’d stop in and see if I could be of any assistance to you.”
“I have Dr. Stone mentoring me now.” That was meant in every way as a slight to him, and he should take it the way I intended.
“Even so, she doesn’t know this area of study as well as we do. Send me your files. I’ll have look at them.”
And steal them, he probably meant.
“No thank you.”
“As your department head, despite this temporary assignment of yours, you know I only want to help you.”
I dreaded if the day came where I’d be back under his thumb.
“Like I said, I don’t need it. Now, if you don’t mind I have another testing group coming in and a short window to eat lunch.” My mind raced with any reason to get him to leave.
“I could eat, too. Let’s go get a bite?—”
“Thanks, but no.” I answer quickly. “Julian, I really need you to leave so I can focus.”
He clicked his tongue. “Getting so worked up isn’t good for you, Maisy. I remember there were stressful times for you on the ship especially once you started taking the graduate courses. You’d work yourself ragged. But I was always there for you to help you get through it. Remember?” He stalked closer, too close.
I wanted to cringe but stood my ground. “You’re wrong. I didn’t need your help as much as you thought I did.”
He sighed. Not touching me, because if he had I’d have screamed. “I think you have a higher opinion of yourself than you should. I doubt you can do this alone. When it comes down to the last minute and you realize you’ll fail without me, you know where to find me. And I’ll be waiting.”
I released a breath as soon as he left, then I hurried and shut the door behind him. I backed away from the door, eyes trained on the handle fearing he’d return for a reprise.
My hands trembled as I called Sophie, but left a message. Then I called Brooks. As I told him what happened, I could hear his breathing kick up and the clicking of his jaw.
"Come to my place tonight. Leave as soon as you can. I don’t want you there working late along with that asshole in the building,” he fumed.
I shook my head. “No. I need to work. There’s too much to do. "
"You’ve been working nonstop, Mais,” he said. "This isn’t the way to be productive. You’re just running scared."
I knew he was right. The fear, the fight, the weariness took a toll.
"Come home to me tonight. Don’t make me beg. So help me I’ll march right into Orion and carry you out the door myself,” he threatened.
“You wouldn’t do that.” I half smiled, thinking I might enjoy him going all neanderthal on me.
“Try me. Look, you just need to think about your next move with a clear head. You can’t fight him and you can’t win if you’re exhausted,” he pleaded his case.
Brooks was right. Soaking in a bath he drew for me, in his large clawfoot tub at his eclectic loft, the warm water infused with lavender and eucalyptus almost melted me into honey.
“Can I come in yet?” He knocked after giving me a few minutes alone to decompress. His tone of voice spoke volumes of care and worry.
“Come in,” I said, and leaned forward, hugging my knees. I watched him undress, admiring the unveiling of his body with each garment that hit the floor, his steel rod especially.
Sex with him had become almost sacred, like a part of my soul that had been missing; I should have given my virginity to him a long time ago. I leaned back with a sigh after he slid in behind me, pulling me against his chest.
"I hate that Julian still gets to me," I murmured.
“Me too. Good thing you couldn’t track my stress levels when you told me about him standing so close to you.”
“Like London all over again?” I pulled his arms tighter around me.
“Yeah. Not sure you could have stopped my fist from connecting with his jaw this time, though.”
I remembered that night all too well. It was pretty much the beginning of the end for me and the professor. I started to see him in a new light after that.
The science vessel had docked for emergency repairs, requiring a rare departure from the southern hemisphere at the core of our research. The university we partnered with had arranged housing for the crew on the Cambridge campus.
Soaked and freezing from the rain, a group of us, including Julian, ducked into Cambridge’s Eagle Pub. To my surprise, I’d soon recognized a familiar silhouette at the bar. Brooks—He’d been teaching historical architecture there. I’d heard about it from Chelsea, but I never imagined we’d actually cross paths.
Our that our eyes would meet across the crowd, like our souls were reaching out, saying hello again.
I froze, beer halfway to my lips, and then—I smiled. And he smiled back. And before I knew it, we were side by side. That night unraveled like it was stitched into the stars. Drinks turned into stories. Stories into laughter. Laughter into confessions whispered just a little too close. But neither of us crossed the line.
Not physically. Emotionally? I don’t think we ever uncrossed it.
Little did I know, Julian had kept a keen eye on us the entire time with a possessive streak he didn’t deserve to claim. My group was leaving for the night and Julian stumbled up to me, obviously drunk, and grabbed my arm.
“We’re leaving now, sweetheart.” His hand formed too tight around me.
“Let go, Julian. You’re hurting me,” I spat, irritated at his demeanor.
Brooks stood up, about six inches taller, glaring down at him. “Let her go. Now.”
“Or what, big guy? You think you’re a threat to me?” Julian pointed almost jabbing his chest. I tried squirming out of his hold.
“You have one more warning, old man. Let her go.” Brooks pulled back his arm, ready to strike.
I stepped between them. “Stop. Both of you. Julian. Let. Me. Go. Now,” I shouted, my voice carrying throughout the bar. People all around us stopped talking. The hum of the bar lowered with all focus on us.
With an audience all of a sudden, Julian sneered around at it and left. The entire mood of the bar lightened after that. After a while, Brooks walked me back to the dorm we were staying at, insisting he do that to protect me just in case.
At the steps of the women’s dorm, we hesitated. I didn’t think either of us wanted the night to end. But my emotion were torn again. I would have spent the entire night with him if he’d asked. He didn’t. And maybe that was for the best. Because having him then leaving again, experiencing all that pain again, wasn’t something I wanted to relive. We could have stood there and prolonged the goodbye, but was the point?
“See you Brooks,” I breathed, and kissed his cheek. I ran up the steps and into the building. When I got to my assigned room, I fell across the bed against the window and peeked out. He stood there for a few minutes more, then hung his head, and left…
I swiped a tear from the corner of my eye.
“Julian told me once that I’d never make it outside of academia without him. That I didn’t have the edge to survive in the real world of science.”
“You need to wipe every word that asshole ever said to you from existence. You work at a mind institute. There has to be someone there developing the technology to do that.” He half joked, and pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “Baby, You’re redefining the real world. And that jerk is just scared of your brilliance."
I laughed softly, and let it rumble through my back in to his chest.
"You’re so good for me, Brooks,” I whispered. "I always feel like I’m on fire, and you’re the calm."
He held me tighter. "I’ll always be that for you. You don’t have to burn alone."
My fingers traced over his arm, slow and thoughtful. "I want this to last between us.”
"Then we’ll make it that way.”
But later, long after Brooks had fallen asleep, I laid awake staring at the ceiling. That tiny seed of doubt sprouted in the dark.
What if I wasn’t good enough? And worse... what if I failed?