Chapter 20 Truth and Tremors
TRUTH AND TREMORS
Penny
The steady beep of the heart monitor in Archer’s hospital room was the cruelest reminder ever of the most panicked moment of my life. At least each blip said he’s alive, thank God, but each one also whispered What if I lost him?
Color had sightly returned to his skin, but seeing him lying there—hospital gown, wires on his chest, IV in his arm—unraveled fear deep inside of me.
I sat at Archer’s bedside, hands clasped so tightly in prayer my knuckles were white. My heart hadn’t moved, locked somewhere between panic and disbelief, neither had the huge lump in my throat.
Brier’s hand rubbed my shoulder. “He’s going to be okay. They said it was mild,” she muttered.
“Mild or not, I was terrified I’d lose him.”
She squeezed once, her engagement ring catching the sterile light. “You know him. He’s strong. A fighter.”
Through the window by the door, Maya stood there with Matt and Brooks, all of them talking quietly with the doctor. Brooks gave us each permission to be here, informing the nurses that we’d rotate visitation so we wouldn’t crowd Archer all at once.
Stress was the last thing his heart needed right now.
The doctor finished the conversation and moved on. Brooks brought his phone to his ear, probably updating his wife and their friends. The sight of him, the healthy twin with no heart trouble, hit hard.
Maya knocked gently at the door and popped her head in. “He’s going to pull through. As long as he takes time off, doctor’s orders,” she explained, voice thin but helpful.
“It’ll kill him to stay away from the office,” I muttered.
“It could kill him to go back too soon,” Brier countered.
“Matt and I are headed there now to inform the staff. He’ll pull together a list of the things Archer was working on and assign them to the VPs and management level accordingly.”
“He’s so lucky to have you all handling it.” Given our loaded conversation at the bar last night, I hoped she knew how important she was to the organization now.
“I’ll be in touch.” She nodded, eyes saying more than she allowed her voice to, and slipped out.
I must have said I love you a hundred times in front of her and Matt in Archer’s office, holding his hand while he was barely conscious.
I couldn’t help it given the unknown of his situation, HR rules were the last thing on my mind.
But if they realized Archer and I were involved in a situation, I could only hope they would use discretion and not tell anyone else.
“I’ll go search for a cup of coffee, sweetie. I’ll be in the waiting room. Take your time.” With one last squeeze of my shoulder, Brier left me.
The room settled into a hush, save for the monitor’s rhythm of each heartbeat, the hiss of an oxygen line, and the hum of machines. Archer had been in and out, had tests done, results pending. The entire day had been harrowing to say the least.
“I love you,” I whispered, helpless sitting here when I would easily trade places with him so he wouldn’t be in pain.
His eyes fluttered open, searching the room, and then focusing on me. Even weak and pale, his stare held me in place. “Hey,” he rasped, voice scraped raw.
“Hey.” Tears welled again. I sniffled. “You scared the hell out of me. Again. You really have to stop doing that.”
“Scared myself.” His smile flickered but faltered under the effort.
I brushed his hair back from his forehead. “Please. Just rest.” But I could see his thoughts clicking into place with the narrowing of his eyes.
“Holden… called.”
My stomach dropped. “Archer, not here. Not now. Let’s wait until you’re better to talk about—”
“He said… thank you.” His voice rough and clipped, he could only speak in short phrases, breaths coming short. “Warning… about Brianne.”
I pressed my lips together, shaking my head. “That’s why I wanted to meet for lunch today and tell you everything.”
He swallowed, eyes narrowing slightly. “Why didn’t you… right away…”
Shame rose like heat under my skin. “Because I didn’t want to see you break again. Not after what Brianne put you through the first time.”
“Penny.” His voice frayed at the edges, but it carried weight. “Tell me… everything… Now.”
I attempted another push to save this conversation for later, but he wouldn’t hear of it.
Against my better judgement, I took in a deep breath.
I started in about my visit with Mom. About the accusations she lobbied—how he’d abandoned Brianne, that he left her to struggle with her pregnancy.
And with Brier—she showed me the paternity test, proving Brianne had lied to him.
How Archer had been wronged all along. Not that I doubted his or Brier’s stories for a minute.
Relieved to release it all, I didn’t leave out a single detail. I told him about the shock of seeing Brianne at Mom’s house. And then being even more surprised at Holden showing up to date her.
By the time I finished, tears blurred everything, rolling freely down my cheeks. “You were happy with me, Arch. I could tell. You were putting the past behind you. I didn’t want to ruin that. I couldn’t stand it if Brianne’s drama hurt you again.”
He lay still, eyes closed, the monitor beeping evenly. I thought maybe he’d fallen asleep again.
“It would’ve hurt, Penny… but I deserved… the truth.”
“I was trying to protect you.”
His gaze met mine, the hurt there cutting sharper than a raised voice. “I don’t need protecting… I need honesty. Because if I can’t trust the woman I’m falling for…” He broke off, breath hitching. “Then it doesn’t matter what you were trying to save me from.”
I pressed a trembling hand to my mouth. “I’m sorry.”
He looked away, blinking hard. “I know you are.”
A knock came at the door and it clicked open. The doctor stepped in with clipboard in hand, a tall, balding man with thick eyeglasses. His name tag read Dr. Kramer.
“Archer, how are you feeling now?”
“I could run a marathon.”
The doctor’s lips twitched. “Your humor is still intact at least. Let’s see, your tests confirm a mild myocardial infarction—a mild heart attack. You’re lucky your team acted fast at the office. We’ll keep you here for a couple more days for observation and testing.”
Archer listened quietly while the doctor mentioned medication, follow-up visits, rest off from work for at least a month, change of diet, and managing stress.
“We’ve talked about this at your last several appointments.
You can’t keep running at the pace you have,” he said.
“You were very lucky today. Your body gave you a warning. Take it seriously.”
“I will. Thanks,” Archer croaked.
When the doctor left, Brooks stood by the window. It should have been my cue to go, his turn to come in. But I couldn’t stand leaving Archer yet. Even though the silence sat too heavy between us.
I squeezed his hand. “The doctor is right. You push yourself too hard.”
He gave a humorless laugh. “That’s what people who love me keep saying.” His eyes searched mine, raw and uncertain, a huge question mark.
“I’m one of them. I love you, Archer.”
“I wish you had trusted me with the truth. Told me everything.” He would not drop this, would he?
The tears came hot and fast. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”
He shifted in his bed, grimacing. “Right for you or me?”
The question sliced straight through me. “I thought if I could spare you—”
“I don’t want to be spared.” The sharpness of his tone scared me. He shouldn’t get worked up again. The heart monitor quickened, betraying his rising pulse and the emotion he tried to contain.
“Please, it can’t be good to get worked up about this. We can talk about this once you’re out of here, when you’re stronger.”
He inhaled and exhaled, pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m only saying it hurt. I don’t have the strength to untangle what that means for us right now.”
“What?” My breath caught in my throat. I reached for his hand, but he hesitated before letting me take it.
The pause gutted me.
“Archer—please. Don’t shut me out,” I whispered.
Brooks knocked on the door and stepped in, hovering there, clearing his throat.
Archer met my gaze, heavy and tired, and swallowed hard. “I’m not, Penny. But I think you’re right. We should wait to have this conversation when I’m feeling better. I need to focus on me and my health now.”
I fought back more sobs and forced myself to let him go.
“I’ll give you space. Please rest.” I leaned down, kissed his forehead, and whispered, “I love you.”
He closed his eyes, saying nothing—not returning those three little words. Would he ever? What if… what if this was the end of us? I thought I was protecting us, keeping these things from him, but turned out I might have lost him for good.
My heart splintered with an ache so real in my chest. Was this what he had felt during the attack?
Blinded by the pain, I somehow forced myself to walk out of the hospital room, out of the building, swallowing back the tears until I was outside, where I burst. I bent over, hands on knees, and wept openly, not caring who might see.
The weight of the day pressed down harder and harder until I thought I’d crumble to the ground.
One thought kept pestering me.
Our roles had reversed.
Now I was the broken one.