Chapter 22 Dogs and Dreams
DOGS AND DREAMS
Penny
December Saturday mornings in the city hummed with a life of their own, the holiday rush taking hold, crowds angling for their final push of gift buying.
Then there was me—my spirit deflated since yesterday when Archer got the invitation to Brier’s wedding. He made no mention of wanting to be my plus one. No inquiry if I wanted company to Vegas. Nothing that sounded like we’d be together by then.
How was I supposed to feel about that?
The streets buzzed with carolers and roasted-nut carts, shop windows with tinsel and red bows. I’d meant to find a few more presents, maybe something small for Archer—if we were even doing Christmas together—but the effort seemed hopeless.
What would I give a man who might not want me anymore?
By the time I trudged home with an empty tote and a hollow chest, the cold had wormed its way into my bones and my heart. I barely made it inside, shaking, before my stomach twisted. Ten minutes later, I was on my knees in front of the toilet, miserable.
This wasn’t the flu. The sudden, terrifying realization hit me that my period was very late.
I cleaned up and sighed, and sat on the cool tile floor, counting days and weeks on trembling fingers, over and over, until the math clicked into place.
“Oh… my… God,” I whispered. I shut my eyes and couldn’t move. My mind warred: tell Archer or not? That wasn’t even funny. Keeping things from him obviously didn’t work out well for me. But this was a bigger deal, huge, a little thing growing inside of me, that we’d created together.
A small voice wondered if he would compare me to Brianne, like I’d intentionally trap him with a baby into a relationship. But I wasn’t like her, hadn’t had an affair, not even so much as looked at another man the way I did Archer.
Surely he’d understand. We were adults, and we messed around, and now had consequences to deal with. All this time, he had figured it’d be the consequences of breaking the HR rules, not this.
“Hello-oo. Are you home yet?” Brier’s voice boomed, breaking into my thoughts, as she returned from a quick jaunt to the craft store for more beads and trim for her gown.
“In here,” I cried. Literally, in tears by the time she found me.
“Oh, my dear, what’s wrong?” She crouched beside me, tilting my face to see.
“I’m—I’m—”
Somehow she knew before I could spit it out. “Stay right here. I’ll be back.”
I crawled over to my bed and dug myself under the covers into a little ball on my side. Goldie followed, whining over me, spooning behind me, with one protective paw across my middle.
“What am I going to do now?” I asked her.
She nuzzled her snout into my back, like the best thing I could do this second was to pet her. Yes, running my fingers through her fur helped. A little.
Brier messed about in the kitchen and soon brought me ginger ale and saltines with her usual Aunt Brier energy that could calm any storm.
I sipped at the glass, and nibbled a cracker, then realized under the saltine sleeve was a pregnancy test.
I gasped. “How did you know?”
“You’re in love and glowing.” She beamed.
I burst into tears and spilled everything through sputters and half-sentences. My status with Archer, unknown but not looking hopeful. The times we needed each other so badly that we forgot a condom. And it’d been so long since I had the IUD inserted, it clearly didn’t prevent this from happening.
“My life is a disaster. This is terrible.”
“No. It’s a baby. You’ve always wanted children, now you can, with or without Archer. So embrace this time... I am.” Her hand rested on her belly.
“Aunt Brier? You?” That would explain why she so readily had a pregnancy test on hand.
“Yes, I’m pregnant, too. Westley and I didn’t plan it, at all.
We talked about children, both realizing at our age we had a brief window to work in.
And, well, same as you and Archer—passion took over once or twice and here we are.
I’m going to be a mother, Westley is ecstatic, and I’m already in love with it. ”
I let out a watery laugh. “A mother. Oh, I’m happy for you. I want to be happy for me, too. It’s a little overwhelming, is all.”
“Penny, this is wonderful. Scary, sure, but wonderful.” She tucked my hair behind my ear. “No matter what happens with Archer, I’m here for you.”
“No, you’ll be happily married in Vegas.
I’ll be right here, raising a child by myself, because Archer will probably want nothing to do with me, but he’ll want part custody, which means I will be stuck in New York for life.
A single mother. Forever.” Goldie nudged in between us for attention as if to say she’d help anyway she could.
“Okay, first of all, you’re jumping a million steps ahead.” Her phone buzzed in her pocket. “That must be Westley. Here, go take the test so we’re positive you have a little bun in the oven.”
I sequestered myself in the bathroom. Five minutes later, the pink plus sign made it official.
My hand caressed my lower tummy. Somewhere in there was a tiny sprout of human life.
I’d always wanted kids, but never figured it’d happen like this.
One tear fell, then two, and soon I had myself a good cry.
After I cleaned up, I went in search of Aunt Brier.
In the kitchen, she saw me and quickly got off the phone.
“How’s Westley?” I asked, reaching for Goldie’s treats. She’d definitely earned a few for all the loving care at my side.
“Oh, yeah, he’s good, yes. You know, with all the wedding planning, so much to talk about.” The kettle went off, and she poured hot water into two mugs, two decaf tea bags poised inside them.
I took our favorite cookies and a fresh box of tissues to the couch. A few minutes later, she and Goldie joined me there. I drew in a deep breath. My hands around the warm tea mug brought some calming to my stomach at least.
“I think Archer is going to lose his mind when you tell him—in a good way, of course. I wish you wouldn’t worry so much.”
“I miss him,” I admitted. “We’ve texted, but it’s all superficial. We haven’t dug back down into our conversation from the hospital. I’m scared to hope.”
She squeezed my hand. “You’re both being too stubborn for your own good, but if you love each other, then you have to be willing to face the good and the not so good together.”
“I love him, Brier. I know we’ve only been together a short time, but I developed feelings for him so fast.”
“Love has no timeline, sweetie. Come here.”
She let me take up more of the couch and lay my head in her lap until I cried myself to sleep.
Waking up a little while later, she stood over me, shaking my arm gently. “Sleepy little mama.”
“How long have I been out?” I rubbed my eyes.
“About two hours. I think the rest did you some good. You didn’t even move when I got up a little bit ago. How do you feel? Good enough to come with me to Golden Hour? I have to close up for my new employee, who had to leave early for a family gathering tonight.”
Goldie’s ears perked up, tail thumping.
“Whoopsie, got her all excited now. Must take her with us. Come on. Go freshen up and we’ll go.” She helped me up from the couch.
“I think I want to crawl into bed instead.” I passed her by.
“Please come with me. The walk, the air, the dogs will all make you feel so good—and the baby, too. We can come back here after I close up for the night and pig out on ice cream. But right now, I really want you to come with me. Please, pretty please?”
I couldn’t really resist either of them. Brier with her hopeful face, simply wanting to help me feel better, and Goldie with her tail wagging, jumping around by the front door.
By the time we left, I was grateful for the distraction at least, leaving my worries behind to deal with later.
At some point, I’d have to call and tell Archer. Or would this kind of news be better in person? Could we meet at Heart and Hearth and discuss it calmly like adults over a beverage? Or could I get Matt to give me Archer’s home address and surprise him there?
Hi, just happened to be in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop in to tell you I’m pregnant. We’re pregnant. It’s ours. What do you think?
As we strolled along, I imagined all kinds of responses he could give me. So much for leaving my worries behind.
When we arrived at Fetch on Fifth, Brier opened the door for me. I hadn’t met her new employee yet. A man in blue jeans and a tight tee stood at the playroom window with his back to us, observing the dogs. Although his ass looked nicely familiar.
“Archer?” He turned. My lungs came to a full stop.
His mouth widened into a sheepish grin, so handsome, with eyes crinkling at the corners for me. His hair was no longer Wall Street appropriate, more like messy and in need of a cut, perfect for my fingers to run through. And what of the thick growth of beard and mustache he sported?
Heart attack recovery looked damn good on Archer Bellamy.
“Penny. I’m so fucking happy to see you. I missed you.” His arms opened wide.
I sputtered, and sprinted into them across the space of about eight feet.
“I missed you, too. So much.”
He held me tight and wouldn’t let go, until Brier handed me tissues.
I managed a shaky laugh and pointed at her. “You’re impossible. I cannot believe you orchestrated this.” I whipped a tissue out. That was the thing about Brier—she meddled with the confidence of a woman who’d never been wrong about love. I should’ve known she had something up her sleeve.
“It wasn’t my doing this time, sweetie. Archer called me.” Her eyes twinkled. “I’ll let you two talk while I go play with the dogs. Come on, Goldie.” They escaped into the playroom, where Goldie went wild off the leash.
I turned on him. “You called her and set this up?”