2. Scarlett
I waited until the bruises were healed to see my father. I didn’t want him to suffer my appearance and the hefty price tag of guilt that came with it. Makeup had been a godsend during this week, but I couldn’t wear it to bed without suffering a massive breakout, so Axel had to see me like that. At least it was dark.
It was afternoon, but it felt like morning with the heavy fog. It muffled the sounds of the city, brought an eerie silence to an epicenter of culture, food, and music. I was ready for spring, had been ready since the first day of winter. I walked past the guards on the property then entered the warmth of his villa, the fire burning in the parlor in anticipation of my arrival. I hung up my coat on the coatrack then moved farther into the room.
My father joined me moments later, dressed in a collared shirt and a jacket, looking professional even though he worked from home all day. “Hello, sweetheart.” He didn’t greet me with nearly the same affection and warmth. It’d been replaced by a heavy dose of hesitation and uncertainty. Even his hug was tentative, like the wrong touch could make me crumple into a pile on the rug.
My face was as it used to be, my makeup back to normal, my smile locked in place—but it wasn’t enough. “How are you?” The last time I saw him had been that horrible night when we were both beaten bloody. Memories swept across my mind, and I imagined they swept across his too.
“Hungry?”
I felt a twinge of pain from his avoidance. “You know I’m always hungry.”
“Good.” He nodded toward the dining room. “Let’s eat.”
We took seats across from each other at the dining table, and Ramon immediately brought us lunch, soup and salad with a fresh basket of bread. Then he returned a moment later, placing a small pizza between us.
“Ooh…pizza.” I grabbed a slice and put it on my plate before I even tried the salad.
“I knew you’d want something more substantial.” He gave me a slight smile before he took another bite of his salad.
The conversation was like pushing a boulder uphill, but we eventually reached flat ground, and everything became easier. We talked about the weather, my father’s new car, and the dinner he had with my uncle the other night. The tension ebbed as we finally stopped thinking about the night that had nearly gotten us killed.
“So…how are things at home?” He asked the question with averted eyes, his soup taking priority.
“It’s a really big place for two people. We don’t even visit the other parts of the house.” We had to take two flights of stairs and walk down the hallway to reach the master suite, and it seemed so far away from everything else it was practically an island.
“He probably keeps it as an asset.”
“Maybe,” I said. “I hope you two have been getting along.”
My father took a drink of his wine.
They barely tolerated each other in my presence. I couldn’t imagine how they behaved in my absence. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“I’m all ears.” He set down his glass.
“After everything that happened…” I watched his eyes immediately flick away, like the mere suggestion was too much to swallow. “It makes me question this path, makes me wonder if this world is right for me.”
He overcame his discomfort and looked at me. “What do you mean?”
I already felt his disappointment. “I’m not cut out for this sort of thing.”
“How so?” He cocked his head slightly, his voice turning confident. “You killed one of them. Bashed another in the head with a chair.”
“And was nearly choked to death…”
“I just think you’re more capable than you realize.”
“If Axel hadn’t come, we’d both be dead.” Well, my father would be dead. Worse things would be happening to me.
His stare continued until he took a slow breath. “What happened was extremely unfortunate. But I told Axel that we needed to honor the ten percent instead of playing games. All of that could have been avoided.”
“Not everything can be avoided. Something else will happen someday…and I’m not prepared to deal with it.”
My father stared at me for a long time, those intelligent eyes drilling past the surface to the oil in my soul. “It’s okay to be scared?—”
“I’m not sure why I ever thought I could fill your shoes. I’m not sure why you thought it either. I’m an easy target, and everyone who sees me is going to want to strike. I don’t instill fear in my enemies the way Axel and Theo do.”
“Don’t let Axel manipulate you?—”
“He doesn’t manipulate me. This is how I feel, Dad.”
He turned quiet, grabbing his glass and taking a drink. He swirled it before he returned it to the table. “So what are you saying exactly?”
I couldn’t look at him as I said it. “I want out.” I focused on the textured wood of the table, the lines sealed under the protective wax that made the surface soft to the touch. Silence was heavy, and the gray sunlight that burned through the windows suddenly felt too bright.
My father was still.
When he said nothing, my gaze lifted to him again.
All he did was stare, his eyes heavy in thought. “Sometimes I wonder if he did this on purpose.”
“What?” I asked, unsure what that meant.
“He rejected their offer because he knew there would be a retaliation. A retaliation that would get me killed. But it worked out even better—because now you want nothing to do with the business.”
“Dad, I think this would have happened anyway.”
“I’ve been in this business a long time, and there’s never been such a conflict.”
“In the last couple of months, I’ve seen a lot of conflict.” I swallowed, remembering the way I sat at that table in the restaurant and feared Theo and Axel were about to kill my father right before my very eyes. “I thought I was tough. I thought I could handle anything. But I realize now that I don’t have the balls for this game.”
His eyes stared into mine. “I inherently disagree.”
“I’ve decided to open a restaurant instead.”
Once my father realized this wasn’t a discussion but an announcement, his body went rigid in the chair. His eyes dropped to the wine and lingered for a few seconds before he swallowed. He turned to the window, scratched the scruff at his neck, and then looked at me once again. “A restaurant.” He barely spoke above a whisper, but those words conveyed so much resentment.
“Yes.”
“A restaurant won’t make you rich.”
“Money isn’t everything?—”
“It is everything.”
“Well, my husband is very rich, so…” I didn’t view his money as my own, but as husband and wife, as partners, I would have to accept his wealth someday.
Both of his eyebrows lifted in surprise. “If this is what you’ve decided, then there’s no reason to remain married to him.”
My eyes were on my glass of wine, and they lifted when I heard what he said.
“You married him so we could reclaim our family business. If you’ve really decided to leave, then he’s no longer useful to you. Your marital obligations have expired. Leave him. I’ll give you the money to open the restaurant.”
This conversation had taken an unexpected turn. “I asked you to open a restaurant before, but you rejected the idea?—”
“Because the family business is a better idea.”
“If I leave him…” I stared at the wineglass. “There’s no incentive to keep you in the business.” My eyes lifted to meet his again.
My father stared as he considered what I’d said. “You could ask. If you truly want nothing to do with this life, you’ll need to get rid of Axel because he still ties you to his criminal activity. If someone wants to hurt him, they’ll hurt you instead.”
I hadn’t thought of that.
“I don’t think he’ll cut me out of the business,” he said. “Not when he needs me. Everything just went to shit with the Colombians, so we can’t afford any more losses.”
My stomach was tied in knots, and I felt a draft in the room even though none of the windows were cracked. I stared at the half-eaten pizza and avoided my father’s stare.
“So, leave him, sweetheart.”
When I came home, Axel was already on the couch, in nothing but his sweatpants and slightly damp hair. His schedule was random, so there were nights he’d be gone and days he wouldn’t leave the couch.
“Hey, baby.” One arm was over the back of the couch, and his powerful legs were stretched far apart. The table held his decanter of scotch and his empty glass. It wasn’t even dinnertime yet, and he’d already started to drink.
“Hey…” I walked around the couch to put down my purse and slip off my heels.
“What was that?” he asked without turning around.
“What?”
“I expect a kiss when my loving wife comes home.”
I left my heels on the floor before I moved into the living room and came around the edge of the couch. With my hand planted on the back of the couch, I leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
His big arm wrapped around me, and he dragged me into him, forcing me onto my back on the couch as he moved on top of me.
I tried to fight it, but when that heavy mass was on top of me, I knew I had no chance of escape. “What are you doing?”
He held himself on top of me. “Waiting for my wife to kiss me.”
“I did kiss you?—”
“Come on, baby. You can do better than that.” He held himself above me, his eyes looking down at my lips in expectation of a passionate kiss. It’d been a week since we’d last had sex, and I knew he was anxious to resume those evenings where we fucked all night.
“I just had a long day.”
“Yeah?” he asked, his eyes still on my lips. “Let me help you forget about it.” He dipped his head and kissed me, a slow kiss that wasn’t demanding or aggressive, just easy and gentle. He touched my lips with his as his hand slid into my hair, his fingers stroking the soft strands. When he felt the enthusiasm from my lips, he deepened the kiss, making it harder, making it faster.
My stressful day was erased by a slow ache in my stomach, an ache that turned into a burn that stretched to other parts of my body…especially between my thighs. My hands latched on to his thick arms before planting on his hard chest, feeling a concrete surface that was warm to the touch rather than cold. His tongue delved into my mouth and elicited a quiet moan from me, a moan I couldn’t even remember making.
He tugged his sweatpants down over his ass so his cock could come free, tinted red and throbbing with desperation. Without breaking our kiss, he lifted my dress to my waist and exposed my thong before he pulled it free. It was tossed on the floor and underneath the coffee table.
He tugged me close and folded me, bringing our disproportionate bodies together so his hard dick could slide into my tightness. He dampened the head of his dick first then pushed inside, giving a hard thrust to burst past my opening and enter the wetness waiting for him. As he started to sink, he released the sexiest moan, like this was the best pussy he’d ever had.
Like I was the best he’d ever had.
He moved until there was nowhere else to go, until he hit my cervix and made me wince at the intrusion. His lips found mine again, and he kissed me as he started to move, taking it nice and slow, prioritizing our kiss over the reunion of our bodies.
My arms hooked around his back, and my nails dug deep to anchor myself in place as he thrust into me, as his big dick made itself right at home after our short dry spell. I moaned against his lips, interrupting our kiss when the pleasure became too much. I panted against his mouth, my hips rocking, my desperation bursting from nowhere.
“Fuck, Pretty.” His fingers fisted my hair tighter, and he pulled his lips away because now he wanted to fuck me harder. “I missed this pussy.”
We sat across from each other at the dining table.
Aldo had delivered dinner from downstairs, a three-course meal on shiny platters. There was also an expensive bottle of wine for us to share. I noticed desserts were never a part of the menu, like they were off-limits.
Axel had put his sweatpants back on but was still shirtless, hard as a rock even when in a seated position. He never touched the basket of bread sitting there, and his dinner was usually meat and vegetables…pretty boring. But that boring lifestyle made him cut like the finest piece of beef, so I didn’t mind.
“You seemed down when you walked in.” His plate was empty because he’d already finished his dinner. Whenever food was placed in front of him, his elbows were on the table and he inhaled the meal like a caveman.
“Oh…I was with my father.”
“Figures.” He drank from his wineglass as he stared at me across the table.
“We had lunch.”
“What was on the menu? Bullshit?”
I spun my fork in my pasta, eyes down. “If you’re going to act like that, then I’ll just keep it to myself.”
He gave a sigh before he drank from his glass again. “Continue.”
I took a bite of the pasta and savored it before I answered. “I told him how I felt.”
“And?”
“He understood…as best as he could.”
“Don’t let his disappointment affect you.”
“He told me there’s been a lot of conflict lately, but in his long career, it’s usually easy and peaceful.”
“It’s a dangerous business,” he said. “To downplay that is to lie.”
“He’s just sharing his experience?—”
“Why do you defend him?” He slouched in the chair, elbows on the armrests. “You confided your fears to your father, and he basically told you to dust yourself off and get back out there.”
“I’m not defending him,” I said. “And can we ever discuss my father without it turning into this?”
His fingers came together in front of him, his stare annoyed. “Probably not.”
“I told him I was thinking of opening a restaurant.”
“And?”
I shrugged. “He didn’t have much to say.”
“At least he accepted your decision. That’s more than I expected.”
The conversation went deeper than that, and I wasn’t sure why I was tempted to share it. “He said if I don’t want the business…then there’s no reason for me to stay married to you.” Once the words were out into the ether, tension filled the room and masked the aroma of the meal we’d just finished.
Axel didn’t change his posture or his stare, rigid and hard as stone.
I wasn’t sure what he would say to that, but I didn’t think he would say nothing.
I continued to withstand his stare, absorbing the tension until it made me feel toxic.
“Is that what you want?” His deep voice broke the silence, calm despite the malice in his expression.
“My father thinks you would keep him as a partner if I did decide to leave.” I didn’t phrase it as a question, afraid of being too forward about the situation.
He cocked his head slightly, continuing to look at me with coldness. “Let’s just say I did keep him on… What would you do?”
Now the air was too thick to breathe. It was like hot steam filling my lungs, so heavy that I couldn’t get the oxygen that I needed. “I don’t like to speak in hypotheticals?—”
“I’ll keep him on if you leave. There.” He massaged his knuckles, his focused stare trained on me like a scope from a sniper. “No more hypotheticals.”
The stakes had just been raised, and I felt like I’d walked into a trap.
“What’s it going to be, baby?”
Now that I wanted nothing to do with the business, I had no reason to be there anymore. I could walk away whenever I wanted…start over with someone new…move back in to my old apartment. I’d tried so hard to avoid Axel when we were first married, but now my old life sounded pathetic…and miserable. “I want to stay.”
He continued to massage his knuckles as he looked away, his face turning toward the window that showed the dim lights through the heavy fog. Then a slight smile moved over his lips. “You knew how I felt before I said a word.” He turned back to me, arrogance in his stare. “Because you felt it. Felt it in my gaze. Felt it in my obsession. My commitment, passion, and words. That’s how you know it’s real, when it exists without ever being spoken. Now I know you feel the same way.”
I felt like a deer in the headlights. Felt like my diary had been opened and read from cover to cover. All my secrets were exposed for everyone to see—and Axel had a fucking microscope.
“So why don’t you be a man and say it?” He stopped massaging his knuckles, his joined hands resting against his bottom lip.
My eyes dropped to the table between us, the goose bumps like hills and mountains up my arms. My heart beat at a quicker pace, like I was running rather than sitting in place. His stare was too much, like the sun was right in my face as I tried to drive.
“Come on, baby…”
My eyes lifted to meet his, and the same old flashbacks swept across my mind, picturing him with Cassandra, a woman who looked so different from me that I didn’t understand how he could be attracted to us both. It filled me with as much pain now as it had the moment it happened. It toughened my heart and covered it with scales. “My father said as long as you’re associated with the business, I would be associated with it. And the best way to hurt you…is to hurt me.”
The arrogance was slowly wiped away.
“So, I’ll never be safe.”
“You’re always safe with me.” His voice dropped, turning quieter and stronger at the same time. “I would never let anything happen to you. Ever.”
“If I hadn’t sent you my location?—”
“You called for help. I came.”
My eyes were down again. “It’ll still be a part of my life, even if I have nothing to do with it.”
He lowered his hands and moved closer to the table, his elbows resting on the surface, his dirty plate still there. “If you don’t want a divorce, then what do you want?”
My eyes reached his. “Would you be willing to…walk away?”
His eyes shifted back and forth between mine. “Is this hypothetical, or are you actually asking me?”
“Does it matter?”
“It does,” he said. “Here are the two answers. Hypothetically, I would do anything to make you happy. I already planned on leaving this line of business when I had a family, so I’ve always been willing to make the sacrifice. I would make it for them—and I would make it for you.”
I’d expected resistance. Outright refusal. Some long-winded speech.
“Now, if you’re actually asking me, right here and right now, I would say I need more time. I just started this partnership with Theo, and everything has gone to shit. I can’t jump ship right now, not after what he did for me. I would need six months to a year before I could realistically sever ties. But the answer is yes.”
It was a reasonable response, so reasonable that I couldn’t ask for more. “There’s something else…”
“Tell me.”
I had a feeling he wouldn’t be as agreeable to this request. “That business means a lot to my father, and I know how devastated he is that you’ve taken it from him. You know I want to stay, so would you be willing to give it back to him?”
His expression hardly changed, but it somehow felt like an earthquake.
“If you’d be willing to leave it for me, why not just give it back to him?”
He looked away, giving a slight shake of his head.
“Axel—”
“No.”
“It means nothing to you?—”
“It means everything to me because it means everything to him,” he snapped. “He knew how I felt about you, and he didn’t hesitate to use that against me. I will never give it back to him. Not for anything—even you.”
I swallowed, slapped by the disappointment. “What do you mean, he knew how you felt about me and used it against you?”
He gave a heavy sigh. “It doesn’t matter now.” He turned to look at me again. “I will give up the world for you—but I will give up nothing for him.”
“If we want to stay together, I’d like it if the two of you got along. I think giving him back the business would be a great gesture for the two of you to start a new relationship. You and I can run our restaurant together and start a family?—”
“No.”
“Axel.” I tried to keep my voice as light as possible. “He’s never going to go away. He’ll always be a part of my life. There’s nothing you can do about that. So you may as well try…to make things better.”
He looked out the window again. “If only you knew…”
“Knew what?”
All he did was shake his head.
“Just think about it…is all I ask.”