Chapter 18
A fter the shower run-in, I've made it a point to knock before entering the en-suite because, as much as I thoroughly enjoyed the view, things are far too uncertain right now. Despite our talk the other night and the smirks he's thrown my way, he has practically been a ghost around the house this past week. While I understand why, it still stings. Fortunately, Rocky and Teddy have kept me plenty busy. Rocky's morning and evening walks have provided the perfect opportunity to catch up with Rene and Olivia most days as they walk their dogs.
“So, how are things going?” Olivia hip-checks me with a soft giggle.
“Girl, don’t even get me started,” I groan, watching as Rocky runs ahead to see what he can find.
“That bad, huh?” Rene looks at me, her eyebrows furrowed and concern lining her features. Even in the short time I've known her, it's clear she's the group's Mama bear.
“I’ve seen you girls more than I’ve seen him. Not to mention, every time I do see him, he’s rushing all over the place and barely stops to say hi.”
“Sounds like someone’s missing her man,” Olivia teases, making me roll my eyes and fight the blush that’s dying to give me away.
“If he thinks he can slip a ring on my finger, take me on one date, and then go from telling me what I want to hear to being distant, he’s got another thing coming.”
“You tell him. If he’s not going to make time for you then forget him.”
“But be sure to share the details, some of us are dying up here in our ivory towers,” Rene’s dry tone has me tipping my head back in laughter.
“If you share your insights on this place, then you’ve got yourself a deal.” With that, I whistle to call Rocky back before saying goodbye and heading back to the house. As much as I’d rather spend my day walking around the compound with Rene and Olivia while our dogs do their thing, I've already put off this appointment for too long.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” As tempting as Logan's offer is, the thought of being so exposed, so vulnerable in front of him, fills me with a terror like I’ve never known. I feel foolish for feeling this way. The man has done nothing but try to earn my trust. But I can’t shake the stomach-twisting sensation that fills me anytime I think about confiding in anyone about this, let alone my husband.
“I’m sure. Plus, I’m sure you have yet another meeting calling your name.” Slipping on my jacket, I offer him a smile, which does little to remove the frown from his face. Handy, my grumpy Viking wears that look so well.
“Ready to go, Abbie?” Cole calls as he lets himself in the front door, only to stop short when he sees Logan and his glower only intensifies at the sight of Cole. I’m sure part of his unease about this is my refusal to let Smithy come along, but like hell am I letting Smithy get even a hint about why I’m going to the doctor's.
As much as I can’t stand the thought of Logan being there with me, I also don’t want someone else to sniff out what’s going on before I have a chance to talk to him.
“Careful, Viking. Your face might just freeze like that,” I tease him before leaning up and placing a kiss on his cheek and leaving him there, watching us leave.
The drive passes in silence—mostly due to my whirling thoughts—and before I know it, we're sitting in the waiting room. Me, bouncing my knee and fighting the urge to bite my nails, while Cole scrolls on his phone, doing his best to give me a sense of privacy.
Going to the doctor alone is one of the top five most daunting things. So, it’s with my pulse pounding and my palms sweating, I leave Cole in the waiting room and make my way to the examination room alone.
“It says here you have some concerns with your cycle?” the doctor asks as she turns in her chair to face me as I settle on her exam table.
“Yes. I used to be very regular, but over the last couple of years, it’s become increasingly sporadic. There have been times when I haven’t had my period for months, for no reason I know of,” I explain, and with a thoughtful hum, she gets me to lie down as she explains she's going to take a sample to send to the lab to have a look.
A quick blood test and swab later, she’s leaving me to get dressed with promises to call me as soon as the results are in. Walking out once I’m done feels strange, like I’m on autopilot as my brain races. The fact she didn’t just brush me off or try to reassure me has my mind racing even more than it already was.
Don't doctors usually try to placate you with promises that it’s probably nothing?
So, when Cole suggests we get ice cream, I say yes before he’s even finished his sentence. The drive passes in a blur, and before I know it, we’re placing our orders and finding a booth to sit and enjoy our sweet treats.
“How’s life without having your brothers around?” I ask Cole as we slide into the booth, me with my Oreo ice cream and Kinder milkshake while he eats his honeycomb ice cream. Yes, I’m having double dairy, and sure I might regret that later, but for now, I need all the sugar I can get.
“It’s strange as hell. But kind of refreshing at the same time. I’ve never been away from them, never been out from under their shadows and the Four Points name. It’s kind of…nice to breathe without all that pressure, you know?” Cole has always been the nice guy to balance out their grumpy attitudes, and it’s not gone unnoticed how people gravitate towards him. It’s no surprise the weight of that is a lot to handle.
“I can only imagine; do you have any ideas what you’re going to do after the year here?” I ask as I finish my ice cream.
“Nah, that’s a whole year away. Who knows what will happen? Maybe I’ll fall in love with someone and stay here,” he jokes, but I know he’s so soft-hearted it’s a real possibility. I’m not naive. I know he has a slight crush on me, which seemed to form overnight, but I also know said crush will pass. That’s just the way things are with Cole. From zero to a hundred and back again before you can blink. It’s most likely a side effect of being raised by his two older brothers and trying to outshine their shadows.
“Speaking of love, how’s Logan treating you?” he changes the subject away from himself.
“It’s going okay. I mean, he’s busy as hell, but when I do get to spend time with him, it’s been good so far,” I say with a sigh, once again reminded of the confusing mess that is my marriage.
I thought admitting we want each other would be the start of making a real go of things. With looks and kisses that hot, surely, he wants more than fleeting glances as he heads from one meeting to the next. And yet he hasn’t so much as suggested we have dinner together at home.
Maybe giving him a little push in the right direction is needed, after all.