Chapter 31
“W hat’s on the agenda today then?” Cole asks as he and Smithy let themselves into the house. Tomorrow is the day we’re throwing what I hope will be the start of an annual Halloween party tradition, and to say there’s a lot to do today would be an understatement. Kelly is currently cooking up a storm in the kitchen with the help of Rene and Olivia, while Samantha is out making sure everyone knows the party is still going ahead. With the rising tension spreading throughout the compound, I had been prepared for Logan to call it off, but apparently, he’s all for it. Something about raising people's spirits.
“Well, you, my dear bodyguards, are going to put those muscles to good use. We’ve got all kinds of decorations we need to hang to spookify this place, starting with those jack-o’-lanterns that need to be hung from the ceiling above the fireplace.”
“When Logan tasked me with looking after you, he sure as shit never mentioned this being part of it,” Smithy grumbles to himself before lifting some of the jack-o’-lanterns and making his way into the living room, with Cole hot on his heels, chuckling to himself. Cole is all too used to this kind of stuff, having spent the past year around Cora full time.
As we’re in the middle of hanging up the strip lights, my phone starts ringing. With a frown, I excuse myself to answer it. Seeing the private number as the caller ID, my heart stops for a second. There’s only one call I’m waiting on that this could be. Nothing good ever comes from private numbers, and I fear this isn’t going to change that stereotype.
“Hello?” I choke out past the lump in my throat.
“Is this Abigail Graham?” the polite voice asks, cool professionalism dripping from every word and making my nerves skyrocket.
“It is,” I confirm as I sit on the stairs, elbows braced on my knees, heart in my throat.
“This is Dr Butler, just ringing you to let you know we got your results back. Would you be able to come in today to discuss them, say in an hour’s time?” Nothing good ever comes from being asked to come in and discuss your results.
I’m on autopilot as I agree. I’m still sitting there frozen when Cole comes looking for me, and with concern lining his face, he asks me, “What do you need?”
“Lo,” I choke out, tears blurring my vision. I don’t know how I’m meant to go to this appointment without him. I should have confided in him about this sooner. I can’t bear to hear this on my own; I just can't. I’m not that strong. But I know he’s up to his eyeballs, and we’re basically on lockdown. Fuck, I should have said I can’t come in. Maybe it’s not too late to ring back and cancel. Surely if I can’t come in, she’ll just tell me over the phone and put me out of my misery.
I don’t even notice Cole has left me until, with a thud, Logan is kneeling before me, scanning me and looking freaked out. Welcome to the club, buddy.
“What’s going on, Princess?” He rasps as he looks me over for an injury he’ll never see with his eyes.
“I got a call from the doctor—”
“The doctor? What’s wrong? Why didn’t you say something?”
“It’s… well, it might be something. She asked me to come in in an hour to discuss my results. Lo, I might not... you have every right to call this quits,” I choke out through tears. I can’t get a full sentence out; I can’t possibly put into words every woman’s worst fear. It’ll make it too real. Speaking it into existence isn’t something I want to do.
“You’re making no sense right now, baby. Let’s get you cleaned up and then we'll head down, okay? And if you can get the words out, feel free to tell me what’s going on, and if not, the doctor can explain, yeah?” God, love this man and his understanding nature.
I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I know I don't want to lose him.
I don’t think I’d survive it.
With a nod, we make short work of getting on the road, and as we’re pulling up to the clinic, I confess in a broken whisper why we’re here.
“There’s a reason I never brought up birth control, Logan.”
The words hit him like the bullet that they are. With a pained look, he helps me out of the car, keeping a hold of me the entire time as he walks me into the clinic and takes a seat beside me in the waiting room. It could have been minutes or hours before the doctor called us back, but the next thing I know, I’m seated in front of her as she looks at me with a look I never want to see again. A mix of pity and sympathy that feels like a stab in the heart, especially as she sits there with the swell of her pregnant belly taking all the air in the room.
Every word she says goes in one ear and out the other. But the two that keep circling like a death sentence are anovulation and infertile. She goes on to list things we can do to improve my chances of ovulating, but it all feels hopeless.
Will Logan even care to stick it out with me if I can’t give him a family?
An heir?
What about my dreams of having a mini-me to shower with love?
It feels like everything is moving in slow motion and at two times the speed at the same time. In a blink of an eye, the doctor leaves us alone and Logan is kneeling in front of me, cupping my jaw with gentle hands, wiping my tears away as he vows, “It’ll be okay, Abigail. I swear to you we’ll get through this together. I’m going nowhere.”
The rest of the day passes in a blur.
While my mind was racing a million miles an hour, Logan handled everything. From getting us home to bundling us into bed despite it still being early afternoon. Through it all, he kept a hold of me, as if he could tell my thoughts had me on another planet and I was in need of grounding. And as he clutched me to his chest, sharing his strength with me, a part of me wished he could just squeeze all my broken parts back together.
Somewhere in the middle of the night, my tears dry up, and I roll over to face him. Moonlight paints his features, bathing him in a cool glow. I place soft kisses all over his face until, with a groan, his grey eyes open and focus on me.
“Make love to me,” I plead in a whisper so as not to disturb the peace that blankets us.
With gentle hands, he rolls me onto my back and leans down to kiss me, pouring all his love into that one action. With a moan, I arch my back so I’m closer to him and wrap my arms around his neck. I want to become one with him. The idea of space separating us right now is abhorrent so when he reaches between us to test my readiness, I tell him, “I’m ready, Lo. Please, I need this.”
With a groan, he seals his mouth to mine as he eases inside me. Feeling the fullness that comes from taking him into my body sets my soul on fire and with a gasp, I wrench my head back as I arch closer to him. Digging my nails into his shoulders causes him to let out a curse.
“Fuck, baby. You are so perfect. Every inch of you is perfect and I can’t wait to spend forever showing you that.” With that, he claims my mouth again and speeds up his thrusts. The feeling of his thick cock stretching me, coupled with his words, has me coming on a gasp and dragging him over that edge with me.
And as he fills me with his seed and showers me with kisses and praise-filled words, I fall a little more for this man.
For my husband.