17. Peyton
CHAPTER 17
peyton
A LIFETIME AGO
I hadn’t taken a full breath in eight hours and seventeen minutes. The exact distance from Seddledowne to the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. I arrived forty-five minutes early. It had taken twenty minutes of circling the insanely busy parking garage to find a spot. My anxiety wasn’t one bit better now that I was here. If anything, it was worse. Which is why I was still sitting in my truck, watching the time pass on my phone.
A sudden urge to scratch a groove into my left rib overtook all other thoughts. I lifted my shirt to examine the tattoo right below my bra line. Ford had burst into my life with the speed and intensity of a shooting star—out of nowhere, leaving me in awe. Hence, the shooting star tattoo with his text code—3673—streaking behind, over the tail. On a whim, I’d gotten the new ink two days after meeting him. I couldn’t wait to show it to him after he won.
Ford had FaceTimed every night since we met and texted every time he got the chance.
I picked up my phone to read the texts he’d sent me that morning.
Ford
I know you wanted to break the news to Lemon about us first before I told the rest of my family. Did you tell her yet? She’s going to realize when you sit down next to her. Sorry about that, but they gave me a chunk of free tickets and they’re all together. The camera will probably catch you a few times too.
Even if I don’t win, I’m so freaking happy I finally get to see you again. I’ll be looking for you, beautiful. Section 5, C-6.
Dang, I’ve missed you. Like crazy.
I tapped on Lemon’s name in my messages. I stared at our years long text thread. How do you tell your best friend that—surprise!—your brother-in-law and I are friends and it’s not sus at all that I drove eight hours to come watch him perform in the finale of a major TV show?
My head dropped to the steering wheel. “It’s so sus.” But it was time to go. I’d sat in this truck as long as I had to make sure I didn’t run into the Duprees—which was ridiculous, seeing as how I was about to plop myself down right next to them.
The show would start in twenty minutes and the ticket specifically stated that they closed the doors at ten til. The walk to the auditorium was probably a good seven minutes. If I wanted in, I had to go now.
Right then a call came through.
From Braxton.
I denied it and waited. Because a text would follow momentarily. It always did.
Sure enough, my phone dinged.
Walking Red Flag
Peyton, please, can we just talk? Stephanie and I are done. I love YOU. I want to marry YOU.
I snorted and then replied.
Congratulations on finally realizing Stephanie was a mistake. Gold star for basic human decency. Unfortunately, my 'second chances' department is permanently closed.
Stop trying to contact me, Wandering Willy.
I got out of the truck, locked it, and followed the crowd toward the Ryman. Once I was through the ticket checkers, I stood in the foyer which was packed with people hurrying to their seats.
“This show is sold out!” A man in an official looking red vest yelled into the crowd. “I repeat, this show is sold out! Please head to your seats!”
The doors were open and I could clearly see the massive stage with the ridonculus glitter-dipped Nashville Launch logo hanging in the center. In my mind’s eye, I could see the Duprees. All of them. Sitting in front of that stage, so excited to watch Ford win this whole thing tonight. If I sat next to them, it would blindside them. I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to do that. I also didn’t want to be on camera when they panned over his family. Good gracious, I did not want that. I glanced around, watching the faces of the hundreds of people walking by.
A confident, bright-eyed teenage girl, wearing the cutest red cowgirl boots, glanced at her phone. Then she looked up at the section banners that told you where to go. She headed for the balcony stairs.
I was about to walk over and offer my seat for hers when I heard an all-familiar voice not more than ten feet behind me.
“I told you not to listen to the GPS, Bo,” Jenny Dupree fussed. “You can’t trust those things. Now we’re running in here all late.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath as if the Duprees were a pack of Tyrannosaurus Rexes and maybe if I held really still they wouldn’t notice me.
“Mom, it’s fine,” Silas said. “We made it.”
“Does anyone need to use the restroom before we sit down?” Bo asked.
“Peyton?” I winced. It was Christy, Holden’s fiancée.
I went stiffer still, like someone had dunked me in plaster of Paris.
“Peyton?” Ashton echoed his soon-to-be sister-in-law.
No, no, no, no, no. My heart sprinted in my chest.
“Why would Peyton be here?” Jenny said. “Unless she really was with Ford that one night.” She scoffed like the idea was ridiculous.
“That’s her purse…and her jacket,” Christy said with more surety. “Peyton!”
Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I swore in my head, pasted on a surprised smile, and turned.
Christy beamed. “I thought that was you.”
“Hi guys!” The words came out like a squeaky toy being dropped down a flight of stairs.
Every Dupree gawked at me uncomfortably. Silas held four-month-old James in his arms. Lemon gripped his bicep like she’d seen a ghost. Our eyes met and in less than a second, I knew that she knew I’d lied about not being with Ford that night.
“What are you doing here?” Jenny said, her forced cheerfulness doing a poor job of masking the accusation in her voice.
I shot Lemon a look of desperation. But she only gaped at me, shocked.
“Uh…” I had no idea what fib I was going to tell. I wasn’t one of those people who could shoot from the hip. Under pressure, my brain locked up. Say something! But no ideas came to mind. My fingers dangled awkwardly at my side while panic crawled up the back of my neck.
“I invited her,” Lemon finally said. “How nice is it that she drove all the way down here to hold James for me?” She shrugged. “You know, when Ford wins and they invite us all on stage to congratulate him.”
“Oh my gosh. That is so nice, Peyton,” Christy said with a knowing smile. “I can’t believe you’d do that.”
“Uh, yeah. Of course.” I cleared my throat. “No problem at all. I’ve always wanted to see Nashville, and Lemon’s such a good friend to me. And James,” I walked over and took the baby from Silas. “He’s such a cutie. I’d drive anywhere to hold him for a few minutes.” Their adorable, dark-haired, blue-eyed baby squealed with delight. James and I were buddies. Lemon always said she didn’t know how I got him to smile so much. He was the most serious baby she’d ever seen. His tiny fist tightened around my hair. I wanted to bury my face in his cheek and hide from the world. “This is going to be fun, right?” I nodded at the open doors of the auditorium.
“Yes!” Anna squealed. “So fun!”
“Please find your seats!” The usher yelled directly at us.
Lemon curled an arm around my waist and herded me toward the doors.
“Why didn’t she ride with us?” Jenny said as we walked away. “She drove all the way down here by herself? Did she get her own hotel room too?”
No. No, I did not. Because I was poor and hotel rooms are expensive.
“Please tell me you didn’t sleep with Ford,” Lemon whispered. When I hesitated, she groaned. “ Peyton . I love my brother-in-law, but he is not mature enough for a relationship with you. He’s moody, he drinks too much, and he sleeps around. He’s a heartbreak waiting to happen and you don’t need another one of those.”
My stomach dropped to my knees. Lemon was as level-headed as they come. An exemplary judge of character. In all the years I’d known her, the only person whose character she’d misjudged was her ex husband. If she thought Ford wasn’t relationship-worthy then…he probably wasn’t.
I’d told myself that she’d be so excited when she found out. Rehearsed all the things she’d say about Ford. About what a great guy he was. And how much potential he had. That he’d make a great husband someday.
Not this.
Anything but this.
The disappointment I felt was humiliating. Because the truth was, I’d fallen for Ford. His smile, his eyes, his voice. The way he looked at me like I was the one about to be famous. I lived for his FaceTimes. They were all I thought about.
He was all I thought about.
I’d gotten a permanent tattoo because of him.
Maybe she’s wrong. Maybe he just needs the right woman to become the man he’s meant to be.
That sounds an awful lot like trying to change someone. And you already tried that with Braxton.
“Peyton?” Lemon said, frustration in her voice.
“No. I mean, yes, we hung out, but that’s it.” A lie has no legs , my head screamed.
“Be honest, friend. I know Ford. He could charm the pants right off any female in this room. Even her.” She pointed to a white-haired woman who had to be at least eighty.
Hadn’t I used those exact words? Charmed the pants right off of me?
Thing was, if anyone had done the charming, it was me.
But you’re not any woman. He’s had a crush on you since elementary school.
Or so he says.
“Seriously,” I whispered. “Just friends. That’s all. I’m not ready for another relationship.” That was it. The gates of heaven were slammed shut for me. If the one-night stand hadn’t sealed my eternal fate, all this lying surely would.
She hummed like she didn’t believe me. “Let me guess. Your seat is right next to mine.”
I blew out my breath. “Yeah.”
We found our chairs. As soon as James saw Silas again, he reached for his dad. Silas settled him in his lap and placed a pair of infant headphones over his ears. Lemon leaned her head on Silas’s shoulder and my heart hurt.
“Welcome to the Ryyyyymaaaan!” Thomas Rhett, the country music star hosting the show, yelled.
The crowd cheered.
Thomas entertained us with some welcome jokes. Then he began introducing the finalists. When Ford walked onto the stage, the women in the room went wild. I hated how good he looked. He was dressed in a nice pair of too-tight jeans. His fitted button-up shirt was kind of flamboyant—burgundy with white flowers embroidered over his chest, held together with pearl snaps—but he totally pulled it off. He winked and tipped his cowboy hat at the crowd. Everyone swooned.
Lemon glanced at me, her brows raised as if to ask if this was what I really wanted. A man that all of America had fallen in love with?
My only response was sinking a few inches lower in my seat.
“Is your heart pounding?” Thomas asked him, nudging his ribs.
“Yes, sir,” Ford said, but if that was true, he was hiding it well. He seemed completely at ease. I, on the other hand, was about to pass out. My heart was sprinting, so happy to be in the same room with him. He glanced at his family. His gaze ping-ponged, searching for me. When our eyes met, his face lit up like the Fourth of July. He grinned and winked.
“Peyton,” Lemon groaned.
“Just friends,” I whisper-shouted.
Thomas clapped Ford on the shoulder. “It’ll all be over in a few minutes.” He held up an oversized, gold-laced envelope. “As you all know, the votes have already been cast. But before we tell you who won, our finalists are going to make it worth your while for tuning in. Ford and Ruby Faith have each prepared their own original song. Backstage, Ford drew heads, and he chose to perform first.” He nodded at Ford. “Bold move. Can you tell us a little about the song?”
“Happy to.” Ford’s grin went crooked and I heard at least three women sigh behind me. He leaned toward the microphone, a sly look in his eye. “I wrote this song two years ago but…” He strummed his guitar dramatically. “I met someone recently.”
“Noooo,” I croaked.
“Yup,” Lemon said, her p popping for emphasis.
“A girl?” Thomas cocked a brow.
“ The girl.” Ford winked at me again and it felt like everyone in the audience turned to look at me.
I shook my head barely, eyes narrowing, begging him not to. Not only was all of America watching, all of Seddledowne was watching. My momma, the ladies in my barre class, everyone from church, maybe even Braxton.
Ford winked at me again.
“Told you they were together,” Holden whispered, probably to Christy.
“Oo-ho,” Thomas laughed. “ The girl. Is she here tonight?”
Ford unleashed a dazzling grin and strummed another chord. “She is.”
Three cameras panned over us. I turned my head, hiding my face in Lemon’s mass of red hair.
“Oh my gosh, so much regret,” I said in a strangled hiss.
“I told you,” she whispered. “He has no sense. None whatsoever. A complete showboat.”
“I think she’s feeling a little shy.” Ford chuckled into the microphone. “That’s okay.” Another dramatic chord. “But you all need to know that I’ve been struggling with the bridge of this song for two years. Then I’m lying in bed, thinking of her the other night, and bam!” His whole body jerked. “It just comes to me.”
“Sounds like you found yourself a muse.” Thomas laughed. “I think you’d better marry her.”
Another chord. “I think I’d better.”
The audience let out a loud cheer.
And I wanted to die.
Thomas stepped out of the spotlight, leaving Ford alone in the middle of the stage.
He adjusted his guitar strap and said with hooded, mysterious eyes, “This one’s called ‘Dirt Road Memories.’”
My fingers gripped the armrests like I was about to drop over the highest hill on the world’s largest roller coaster. Then, for the second time, the song that had made me lose every speck of rational thought I’d been born with began to play. I told myself to relax, to be in the moment. Maybe after he won, things would settle down. Calm would be restored. Once again, he would be the guy who’d stolen my heart under that sky of a million stars.
The first verse, the chorus, the second verse, the chorus again. It was perfect and beautiful and my fast-falling heart bulged a little more, his words, his calm, tugging at me to give in and let myself fall the rest of the way. My head whispered, Lemon’s wrong. He’s the one. This is going to work out.
Lemon gave me a soft smile and I could see that maybe she was thinking what I was thinking. Maybe Ford had come farther than she thought. I’d barely eased back in my chair for the first time that evening, my stomach unclenching.
Then he sang the bridge.
That night, we lay beneath the stars
In my truck bed, after we left the bar
Jenny leaned forward, peering around her entire family to glare at me. I wouldn’t be surprised if she could see my entire sexual history with her X-ray maternal vision.
I gulped and forced my eyes back to Ford.
Your hunger matched my own desire
Consuming me like wiiii-ld fire
You peeled off my shirt and threw it to the ground
Rules be damned, let’s burn ‘em down
“Good lord,” Bo mumbled down the aisle.
Your hands did things I'd never known
Igniting my veins down to the bone
“Dayum,” Ashton laughed. “Imma have to start going to the bar to pick up chicks.”
Anna giggled next to him.
I glared at Ford whose eyes were closed, “feeling” the rhythm, completely oblivious. My fingernails were digging lines into the wood of my armrests. My moment of humiliation would leave a permanent stain on the Ryman for years to come.
Your touch so raw, your lips like sin
Our bodies moving, skin to skin
Holden hooted . “Sonofa—” Christy must’ve slapped a hand over his mouth. He must’ve immediately shaken her loose because he added, “What is happening right now?”
Tangled limbs and heated breath
Burning through each last defense
Jenny let out a loud sob. “My baby has been defiled.”
“He was defiled a long time ago, Mom,” Silas muttered. “And I’m confident he did his fair share of the defiling.”
Lemon’s pursed lips parted just enough to say, “Are you sticking with the just friends story?”
“Please…” I whimpered. “Make it stop.”
“It’s out of my hands, friend,” she said, sounding as helpless as I felt.
This was my punishment from God for having a torrid one-night stand. There was no doubt.
One moment burned into my soul
Love so good.” He growled into the microphone. Oh. My. Word. “ I sold my soul.”
Finally, the X-rated bridge was over.
I managed not to combust through the rest of the song, though it took every speck of self-control I possessed not to let a tear escape my eye. When he thrummed the last chord, the entire auditorium jumped to their feet, cheering. Every man, every woman, and reluctantly, every Dupree.
But I couldn’t. Even if I’d wanted to—and I didn’t—my legs had lost their strength and my lungs were without air.
Yeah. Looking around, I dare say the only person left in their seat…was me.