26. Chapter 26 #2
I don’t think that Roman is a bad person, I really don’t.
I never thought that. He definitely has work to do, but don’t we all?
Yes, what he did to me was repulsive, but I haven’t even given him a chance to explain what happened or apologize like he’s been begging to do since that night.
I just shut that metaphorical door in his face and cut the umbilical cord right at the source.
I honestly believe that says more about me than it does about him, and that realization makes my stomach swirl uncomfortably.
It’s obvious that I can’t live my life without him in some capacity and be happy, but if I want him to be better, shouldn’t I be offering him the same growth that I expect from him?
“Roman?”
“Hmm?” He hums before swallowing a mouth full of food as he looks up at me. “Do you not like it?”
He sets his salad bowl on the counter, and rushes to put the lid on it before I can even convince myself to spit out the thoughts in my brain.
“No, no. It’s not that.” I say as I reach out to stop him. “I just wanted— I think I should apologize.” I admit as I look up at him.
His face pinches together in disgust. “You? Apologize? For what?”
“I... Um— The way I acted after…” I wave my hand around between us, “Well, you know. It was a little impulsive, and probably a tad melodramatic. I was hurt, obviously, and I’m not saying that part of it has changed, but I’ve realized that the way I treated you afterward wasn’t much better in comparison. ”
I lay my chopsticks on the plate and push it away from me. There’s no way I can eat anymore with the way my stomach is gnawing at my insides. I’m gonna get fucking ulcers at this rate.
“Lance,” he admonishes as he walks around the counter, lifting my chin to keep my eyes on him as if he didn’t already have all of my attention.
“The way you acted was completely understandable. Do I wish you would’ve done a few things differently?
Sure. That doesn’t mean that you didn’t have the right to be angry, because you absolutely did.
You expected something from me, and I didn’t deliver.
I fucked up. If it makes you feel better, I’ll accept your apology, but only if you’ll accept mine. ”
“But you haven’t apologized.“ I retort playfully, trying to lighten the mood enough that this tension in my chest will subside.
“I want to,” he says as he steps between my legs and wraps an arm around my back. “I’ve wanted to.”
A knock on the door steals both of our attention. Even with his fingers still wrapped around my chin, we both turn to face the door before glancing back at one another.
He gives me a stern look, “This conversation isn’t over.
” He declares before walking off. I take the opportunity to straighten my clothes out and start cleaning up our dinner while he answers the door.
I try to listen to what’s being said between him and whoever is at the door, but all I manage to catch are random words, the rest is mostly gibberish.
I’m storing some of the leftover food in the fridge for later when Roman walks back into the kitchen with an envelope.
“What’s that?” I ask I grab a paper towel and wet it at the sink.
“Not sure yet. It was the hotel staff. She said this was left at the desk for me.” He explains as he bends open the metal tabs holding it secure. He peeks inside the envelope, clearly not seeing anything worth mentioning before reaching inside and pulling out a small stack of papers.
I wipe down the counters with the wet napkin before grabbing a couple dry ones and wiping up any left-over water. Roman reaches down to make sure the counter is completely dry before he sits down on the stool with the papers in front of him.
“It’s from Ollivander and Maven. This is the contact information for the guy we’ll need to get the supplies from. I’ve worked with him a couple times before.” He flips to the next piece of paper, spinning it horizontally before folding it open.
“Ahh, Ollivander is a smart, smart man.” He says as he glances around the sheet that resembles some kind of building plan or something.
“What are we looking at?” I ask as I glance up at him.
He points to something on the paper, “The shipping yard. Olli highlighted the areas where we need to focus our attention. This is where our containers should be stored when they arrive.”
I scan over the legend on the side of the page and then point to two red dots not far from the location of the containers. “These are electric poles. If we set cameras up on those, we should have a pretty good view of the containers.”
He shows me three spots near the entrance of the shipping yard.
“These will be good points to watch who’s coming and going.
The only problem is that thieves don’t typically walk through the front door if they’re trying to avoid being seen.
We’re going to have to cover almost the entire place if we want to guarantee we have eyes on anyone that’s coming. And when.”
He lets out a breath of defeat as he leans back in his chair, still scanning over the paper.
“Maybe we should start a list. Make sure we have everything we need, and enough of whatever we need.”
“Good idea. I’ll head downstairs and grab us some paper and pens from the desk.” He says as he pushes his stool back.
“Wait,” I demand as I stick my hand out to keep him from leaving. “I can just make a list on my phone. That’s much easier.”
He glares up at me, blinking, before finally shaking his head. “Right. That’s brilliant.“ He admits as he forces his chair back underneath the island to focus.
My cheeks heat as I keep my eyes down, pulling up the notes app on my phone. If there’s one thing I’m certain about… it’s that compliments from Roman are deadly as hell.
He spins the paper around, and something sticks out from beneath it.
He picks up the building plan thingy and stares down at the folded paper that was beneath it before looking back up at me.
My name is scrawled across the front of it with a fancy decorative penmanship that I would recognize anywhere.
I pick up the note from Ollivander and flip it open as Roman goes back to planning the camera layout.
“I’ll be right back,” I announce as I walk around the counter and step out onto the patio.
I snatch a cigarette from the pack I have in the pocket of my hoodie and pop it between my lips as I stare down at the stupid letter in my hand.
The cool air coming off the ocean sweeps through in gusts, swirling my hair wildly before seeming to disappear altogether.
I take the small window without wind to light the cigarette before folding the paper back up and lighting it on fire.
I hold it upside down between my fingertips, letting the flame engulf it as the words play on repeat in my mind.
This is your new beginning.
Don’t waste it.
The last three days have been spent going over the plan and getting all the supplies we needed to pull this off.
Even though we’ve been insanely busy meeting with the supplier and making sure that we knew exactly what we needed to do, there’s been quiet moments in between that continue to test my resolve.
Roman doesn’t even seem to be at my throat over all the things he felt like he needed to say.
He’s just been giving me space to process everything, which somehow manages to have me more on edge than before.
While I’ve been pacing the hotel suite like a madman all week, Roman has been watching the yard religiously, trying to learn the patterns of the guards and other staff members. Hardcore. Binoculars and all.
Not even books could distract me from the anxiety clawing at my insides.
Was I trained for things like this? Yes.
Obviously. Have I ever applied it in a real-world scenario with zero equipment at my disposal?
Absolutely not. I’m a five-foot, ten-inch-tall toothpick.
I can protect myself from one person easily, but without any kind of weapon, that’s about the extent of my abilities.
Roman is confident that we’re going to pull this off without a hitch, and that just makes me even more worried. Things never go as planned.