CHAPTER SEVEN
L ARK TOOK A deep breath. She’d known this moment was coming, that she had to stop denying what she already knew. And she did know, even before she’d seen the look on his face as he’d stood in that doorway watching her and Maya.
Cesare was Maya’s father and she had to accept it. She had to accept, too, that he wanted to be in Maya’s life. He’d never made any secret of that.
She couldn’t change it, just as she couldn’t change that he was the father of her child, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have any choices or any power. In fact, she knew exactly what kind of power she had and while she’d waited for the results of that test, her brain running through various scenarios, she knew what choice she was going to make too.
She didn’t have the resources to fight a man like him, and she wasn’t going to run like her mother. Cesare was a man who knew what he wanted and she suspected that even if she did run, she wouldn’t get far.
But she didn’t want to run. She wanted her daughter to be happy. To grow up without fear, to have a home where she could put down roots and be safe. To be loved.
Cesare would no doubt insist on Maya living with him and Lark couldn’t protest. He had a beautiful house with beautiful gardens, plenty of room for Maya to run around and play in. She’d grow up there, have a life there. She’d have everything she ever needed and Lark couldn’t deny her that.
But she wasn’t going to let Cesare take Maya without her. Where Maya went, so would Lark, and if he was going to take her to Italy, then he’d have to put up with Lark coming too.
He might protest, but there were ways she could make it attractive to him. Her body for example, could be a powerful inducement.
For Maya’s sake.
Not for your own?
She caught her breath, a wave of heat washing over her.
Cesare had hitched a shoulder against the doorframe, his blue gaze fixed on her. He’d taken his jacket off and got rid of his banana-stained tie, so he was in his shirtsleeves. He’d rolled up the cuffs, strong forearms exposed, hands in the pockets of his suit trousers and there was something so incredibly sexy about them, about him leaning there casually, watching her...
She couldn’t keep lying to herself. She couldn’t keep pretending that she didn’t want him. Couldn’t keep telling herself that once had been enough and that all her curiosity had been satisfied, because it wasn’t. How could she keep going forward when he was here? Reminding her of that night and of everything she’d forgotten?
Something had happened between them that night in Rome, something special and not only the conception of her daughter. Something else. Something that had kept him wanting her even though two years had passed. And she’d missed out on it.
It hadn’t been just sex either, she felt it in her bones. It had been something else, something more, something that made her ache with a loss she didn’t understand. Didn’t she owe it to herself to find out what it had been? Who he had been to her and she to him?
She wouldn’t find that out by continuing to deny herself, that was for certain.
‘Okay,’ she said, getting to her feet. ‘Let’s talk.’
Cesare pushed himself away from the doorframe. ‘Not here. Up in my study.’ He turned and made a gesture and Emily, the nanny who’d been looking after Maya while Lark had been in Rome, stepped through the doorway and into the room.
Of course, Lark thought with a hint of wry amusement. He’d thought of everything. Even making sure that Maya had someone familiar looking after her.
As Emily settled in, Lark gave Maya a kiss then followed Cesare out of the room and up the stairs. He went down a hallway, opened a dark oak door, and showed her into the large room beyond. Then he came in after her, shutting the door behind him.
‘Please, sit.’ He gestured to the chair that stood in front of his desk.
It wasn’t an order. It was a request, so Lark did, settling herself in the chair. She expected him to go around the desk and sit in the chair behind it, but he didn’t.
Instead, he came over to the desk and leaned back against it, folding his arms and looking down at her. He was very close, the warmth of his body and his scent making her mouth go dry.
She really had to get it together. He was going to start making proclamations and demands, she was sure, and she couldn’t let him. Because once he started doing that, she’d be left carrying along in his wake, and she couldn’t afford that. Not when she had demands of her own.
‘I know what you want,’ she said determinedly, before he could speak. ‘You want to take Maya to live with you in Italy. At your palazzo presumably. And you want to bring her up as a Donati.’
Cesare opened his mouth, but she held up a hand. ‘Let me finish please.’
He shut it.
‘I can’t fight you on this,’ she went on. ‘I don’t have the resources, the connections or the power, and to be honest, it’s better for Maya if I don’t fight you. I know what it’s like when parents are fighting each other and it’s always the children that get caught in the middle.’
A strange expression crossed his face at that, but he didn’t speak.
‘I also know that Maya will have much better opportunities if she lives with you. She’ll have room to run and play, she’ll be safe. She’ll have a home of her own rather than a rented flat and a mother struggling to make ends meet.’
Cesare opened his mouth again, but Lark shook a finger at him. ‘I haven’t finished.’
He shut it, but this time there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. She didn’t trust it, but there wasn’t anything else to do but go on. ‘So, I’ll agree that you should take her back to Italy to live, on one condition.’ She stared at him fiercely. ‘There will be no negotiation on this and I won’t accept anything less. And if you want to honour the promise you made to me that you wouldn’t take her away from me, you’ll agree to this.’
He still looked amused, damn him, but all he did was make a go on gesture.
Lark took a breath. ‘I will be coming too. Now, I don’t care what you think of that or of how you’ll find accommodation for me, but that’ll be your problem. I will be coming with Maya because I’m her mother and she needs me. I won’t accept separate accommodation from her and I will absolutely not be paying you any money for rent or board or—’
‘Lark,’ Cesare interrupted finally, his mouth curving. ‘Will you allow me a word?’
‘If you’re going to tell me that you’re not—’
‘Lark,’ he repeated, more gently this time. ‘I agree.’
All the justifications and reasons she’d prepared about why he had to accept her offer flew abruptly out of her head. She gaped at him. ‘You what?’
‘I agree,’ he said again. ‘You’re right. I do want to take her to Italy and bring her up as a Donati at the palazzo. And you’re also right that she needs you at her side. A fight is the last thing I want between us, and I’ve already been planning to bring you with me to Rome. You will live at the Donati palazzo too and of course I won’t demand any money from you.’
She’d been expecting to fight, to have to dig in her heels, and for a moment Lark couldn’t think of a word to say.
‘You...you won’t?’ she said at last.
‘No.’ He shifted against the desk and this time the glitter in his eyes wasn’t only amusement, but something else. Something hotter. ‘However, I do have a demand of my own.’
A thread of what felt suspiciously like anticipation coiled inside her, as if she was excited by the thought of whatever he was going to demand of her.
You like fighting him as much as he likes fighting you.
Of course, she did. The freedom she had with him to be angry was something she’d never had before, and yes, she liked it. Very much.
She caught her breath, trying to ignore the delicious shiver that crept over her skin. ‘Oh? And what’s that?’
Cesare smiled. ‘I want you to marry me.’
Shock wound through her. That was...not what she’d expected him to ask. ‘You want me to marry you?’ she repeated stupidly.
‘Sí.’ More amusement glittered in Cesare’s blue gaze, yet there was also the steel in it. This was something he would not be moved on. ‘You’re Maya’s mother and I’m her father, and I think the whole thing would work best if we were married.’
‘But...you can’t want to marry me.’
‘Not in the traditional sense, no,’ he agreed, and why that should catch at her like a thorn, she had no idea. ‘But in a legal sense I think it’s absolutely necessary. Maya would have my name and so would you, which would give you resources and protection in case anything should happen to me.’
Lark felt her mouth go dry. Marriage had never been something she’d wanted for herself, not after witnessing the aftermath of her mother’s experience. Her father had been abusive, Grace had told her, and yet there were some days when her mother refused to get out of bed and no amount of Lark’s smiles would help. Where Grace would sit there slowly turning the wedding ring she still wore around and around on her finger, and staring at it. Grace had always told her she’d been glad to leave, that she’d had to in order to protect Lark and herself, but those days Lark would wonder if Grace was really as glad as she made out. If there was a part of her mother who still loved her father and missed him, no matter what he’d done to her.
That thought had horrified Lark, and she’d decided then and there that she’d never get married. Never allow herself to be trapped by a man. Never fall in love.
Yet now, here she was, looking down the barrel of a marriage proposal and... Well. She wasn’t in love with Cesare Donati—a small mercy—but she was actually contemplating marrying him. He was by his own admission a selfish man, arrogant and proud, and there was no way she should even be thinking about tying herself to him, and yet....
He’d kept his word about not taking Maya from her when he easily could have and he clearly believed that his daughter needed her mother. He was also serious about protecting her and putting her needs before his own, despite confessing how he hadn’t wanted children.
The addition of a daughter wasn’t going to make his life simpler and if he truly hadn’t wanted her, he’d had plenty of opportunity to walk away. In fact, Lark had encouraged him to do so. But he hadn’t. And now not only had he not protested at the idea of having another person come to live with him, he was also offering her his name. For Maya’s sake.
‘I...’ she began, her voice husky. ‘I...will need some assurances.’
One inky brow rose. ‘Another agreement perhaps?’
‘Um...yes.’ She folded her hands in her lap to stop them shaking.
‘You would have complete freedom,’ Cesare said, watching her in that intense way he had. ‘I understand what you’ll be giving up to come to Italy, so I can use my connections to help you find another job or assist you into study if that’s what you prefer. Or if you’d rather be a full-time mother to Maya then I will support you. You’ll want for nothing.’
Lark’s head spun. She’d never thought seriously about what she’d wanted for herself. Before Maya had come along, she’d had thoughts of going to university and had been looking into bridging courses since her constant moving around with her mother had meant patchy schooling. She’d never got university entrance. Then once she’d moved to London, and after a year or so of bouncing between temping jobs, she’d found out she was pregnant and all thoughts of university had been put on the back burner.
Taking up Cesare’s offer meant that she’d finally have the time to think about university and what she wanted for herself, because Maya would be taken care of.
Don’t get ahead of yourself. He’s a businessman through and through, and he’ll want something in return.
That was true. He would want something in return and she could well imagine what that might be.
Lark was conscious that her palms were damp and her heart was racing, but she forced herself to meet his gaze head-on. ‘But presumably you’ll want something,’ she said.
‘I will?’
‘Yes, in return for agreeing to marry you.’
The hot gleam in his eyes became even hotter. ‘Why? Is there something you want to give me?’
‘Don’t play games with me, Cesare,’ she said, nerves getting the better of her. ‘Not about this. You know what I’m talking about.’
He gave her a slow burning smile. ‘If it’s sex you mean, then no, I will not require sex from you. In fact, I won’t require anything of you.’
Something tightened in her gut and she couldn’t tell if it was relief or disappointment.
‘Unless you want to exercise your conjugal rights of course,’ Cesare went on. ‘In which case I’ll be happy to assist you. But failing that, since I have no intention of being celibate, I will be taking lovers. Discreetly of course, and I expect that you’ll want to do the same.’
She swallowed. It was definitely relief, wasn’t it? ‘You mean be discreet if I want a lover myself?’
‘Yes. You needn’t stay celibate on my account.’
Except the thought of having lovers herself left her cold.
You only want him.
She ignored that thought too. ‘And if it doesn’t work out? There’ll be an option for divorce?’
A shadow flickered through Cesare’s eyes. ‘You want an escape clause?’
‘Yes.’ There was no point pretending. ‘Don’t you? You might meet someone else, for example, and fall in love and want to marry them instead.’
‘Oh, that will never happen.’ There was an unexpected edge in his voice. ‘Love is for other people, little bird. Not for me.’
He said the word love with a certain distaste, as if it was poison and it caught at her, waking a curiosity she hadn’t known she’d felt until now. He’d sounded so very emphatic and she found herself wondering why. What was love to him? Had he been disappointed by it? Hurt by it?
Again, she was reminded that he knew things about her yet she didn’t know about him. Personal things. She’d told him about her mother, about her past, but had he told her about his? Had he mentioned anything about himself that night?
You’ll have time to find out now, won’t you?
Deep inside her, the anticipation that had gathered before turned slowly into a hot, tense excitement. Marrying Cesare Donati could prove to be interesting, very interesting, and she couldn’t deny that it affected her in a way she hadn’t expected.
‘Well, little bird?’ The look on his face was intense, as if her answer mattered to him. ‘What do you say? Will you accept my proposal?’
The inexplicable, mysterious excitement pulled tight, making her breathless. Perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea to say yes, to marry him. Perhaps it didn’t need to be just for Maya’s sake either. After all, how long had it been since she’d done anything for herself? How long since she’d had a place to call her own? A place to stay and put down roots. A home. She had her flat, it was true, and her job, but the flat wasn’t hers and while she’d liked working for Mr Ravenswood and he’d been training her, it wasn’t exactly a career.
She’d never have the money to buy her own place, not on her own, and having to provide for Maya meant study was out of the question too.
But all that would change if she married Cesare.
Was it even a choice?
‘Is that really how you’re going to propose to me?’ she said, unable to resist the urge to poke at him just a little, to get revenge for him surprising her like this. ‘Standing up like that with your arms folded?’
Blue flames leapt in his eyes, the heat intensifying. ‘How else would you like me to propose to you?’
His voice was deep with a sensual edge she found unbelievably sexy.
Lark held his gaze. ‘Surely on one knee.’
Cesare’s beautiful mouth curved and for a second she wasn’t sure if he’d do it. Then abruptly he pushed himself away from the desk, standing in front of her. Then he leaned down and put both hands on the arms of her chair. He didn’t let go as he lowered himself fluidly to the floor, on one knee as she’d instructed.
‘Lark Edwards,’ he said formally. ‘Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’
Lark’s pretty face was flushed, her green eyes glowing with a mixture of challenge and heat, and although he’d never taken kindly to being told what to do, he’d found himself going down on one knee all the same.
He could never resist a challenge and he could resist one from her even less.
Especially when he had an ulterior motive.
She’d surprised him, he couldn’t deny it. He’d been all ready to launch into a detailed explanation about how she needed to marry him and why, expecting her to argue with him. Vociferously. However, then she’d taken the wind out of his sails by telling him she was coming to Italy with Maya whether he liked it or not.
It hadn’t been what he’d anticipated at all, which had delighted him.
In fact, as she’d sat there primly in the chair, her hands folded, resplendent in a pretty green dress and telling him in no uncertain terms what she wanted now she knew he was Maya’s father, he’d been delighted with her full stop.
She was beautiful for a start, and then she’d been very clear she didn’t want to argue with him because of Maya, which had earned his fierce agreement. She wouldn’t put her issues before those of her child’s and he agreed fiercely with that too.
It wasn’t a small thing she was giving up for Maya’s sake. Her job and her life here in London, and any plans she’d made for the future. But she hadn’t argued and she hadn’t protested. She’d agreed it was in Maya’s best interests and was prepared to back that up with action.
Really, his child couldn’t have had a better mother.
But it hadn’t been until he’d actually asked her to be his wife that he’d realised how much he wanted her to say yes. And badly. In fact, it had been quite disturbing how much he wanted it. Disturbing too to realise that though he could force her to say yes, he didn’t want to. He wanted it to be her choice, the way it had been her choice that night two years ago.
Yet the real issue with wanting it to be her choice was that he had no control over her answer. As a man used to having control in all things, he did not like that at all, not one bit. However, he was also a man who knew how to turn things to his advantage so he was definitely going to do what he could to weight her choice in his favour.
She looked at him where he knelt on the floor in front her, and he was pleased to see surprise in her sea-green eyes. Clearly she hadn’t expected him to kneel. But surprise wasn’t the only thing in her gaze. He could see the flickers of sensual awareness there too, the embers of desire starting to glow.
He was still holding on to the arms of her chair, his body leaning lightly against her knees, making it impossible for her to ignore him physically. She was so small they were at eye level.
Pretty, pretty woman. She smelled so good. It was an aphrodisiac all on its own, and he could feel himself getting hard. He’d told her she’d look pretty on her knees, yet he was the one kneeling. Begging too, and not even for sex but for her name on a piece of paper.
He wanted her to say yes and not just for Maya’s sake, but for his too.
His gaze held hers, the tension between them deepening the longer she stayed silent, the air around them becoming charged and crackling with static.
Cesare didn’t look away as he let go the arms of the chair, putting his hands gently on either side of her thighs, just above her knees, and clasping her gently.
She gave a delicious little shiver but didn’t pull away. ‘I thought you weren’t going to touch me again unless I asked?’
‘I wasn’t,’ he admitted. ‘But you haven’t given me an answer yet and I thought I might offer some incentive.’
Lark’s gaze drifted to his mouth, her gaze gone smoky. ‘What incentive?’
‘This.’ He began to slowly ease up the hem of her dress, up the front of her calves and slowly over her knees, baring her pretty thighs. ‘Our marriage doesn’t have to be only about Maya. You could have something for yourself too. After all, don’t you think you deserve it?’
‘Do I?’ She made no move to stop him, only staring at him, her breathing getting faster and faster as he pushed her dress even higher.
She hadn’t asked for reassurance, and yet he found himself wanting to give it. Wanting her to understand too, that he was grateful for what she’d done for Maya. Because there were many choices she could have made when she’d found herself pregnant with a baby she had no memory of conceiving, and she’d chosen to keep her.
A difficult choice for a woman on her own, and he regretted that he hadn’t been there to support her, to be with her when Maya was born. There was so much he’d missed. But one thing he knew was that this strong, beautiful woman had kept their daughter safe, had kept her happy and healthy and, yes, for that he was grateful.
‘Yes,’ he murmured. ‘Of course you do.’ He eased the hem of her dress up to her waist so he could see the knickers she wore, white cotton with a bit of lace. Very practical. Incredibly sexy. ‘You kept her when you could have chosen differently, and that must have been very hard.’ He slid his hands up her thighs, stroking her silky skin and she took a soft breath. ‘Especially having to do this all on your own.’
Lark’s gaze became liquid, her full lower lip trembling slightly. ‘I wanted so badly to be a good mother to her,’ she whispered. ‘But sometimes...’
‘It’s okay.’ He stroked her slowly, hoping she saw his sincerity, because he’d never been so sincere in all his life. ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you. But I am now, understand? You’ve done a fantastic job with her, but you’re not alone in this any more.’
Her throat moved, and she stared at him as if she was drowning and his gaze was a lifeline. He could smell her vanilla scent, tinged now with the delicate musk of her arousal, and something primitive and powerful turned over inside him.
She needed him, he could see that now, it was there in her eyes, and he liked it. He’d never been needed before, not like this, and it made him want to be there for her, protect her the way she’d protected their daughter.
He would get that yes from her. She would be his wife. She and Maya were his now and it was his responsibility to keep them both safe and happy.
And touching her now wasn’t only about weighting the dice in his favour. It was also a token of his gratitude for what she’d done for their daughter, and his appreciation for her strength and courage. Pleasure, just for her and her alone.
Cesare looked into her eyes, seeing the flickers of her passion beginning to ignite, and he bent his head, brushing his mouth over the top of one thigh and then the other.
Her breath hitched, yet she made no move to stop him. So he reached up and hooked his fingers in the waistband of her knickers and slowly drew them down. She sighed, lifting up to help him, then leaning back in the chair as he pulled them all the way off and dropped them on the floor.
Then he leaned in again and gently eased her thighs apart.
‘Cesare...’ she whispered, shivering.
‘Little bird.’ His thumbs stroked over her skin as he glanced hungrily at the soft golden curls between her thighs. Dio , she was gorgeous. Then he met her gaze once again. ‘You are so beautiful. So strong and brave. Our little girl is healthy and happy, and that is all down to you. I want to show you how much that means to me, give you the pleasure you deserve. And I won’t lie... I also want to show you what you could have as my wife, what a good husband can give you.’
Her eyes had gone dark with arousal, her face flushed. ‘Yes. Yes, please...’
His own hunger was becoming demanding and he was hard, but for once in his life Cesare wasn’t interested in his own pleasure. The only thing that mattered was hers.
He bent, nuzzling gently at her inner thighs, pressing kisses there as he went, hearing her breathing get faster and faster. He remembered how she’d tasted that night, remembered her cries of delight as he’d brought her to the edge of orgasm and held her there. That memory had lived in his head for so long and he’d never thought he’d ever get the chance to taste her again.
Yet here she was, between his hands and he couldn’t wait.
He was so damn hungry.
He gripped her thighs and leaned in, nuzzling against the soft curls and kissing her there. Then he tightened his grip and using his tongue, began to explore the soft, damp folds of her sex.
Lark cried out, moving restlessly in his hands, but he didn’t let go. He leaned in further, exploring her deeper, wanting to drive her to the edge of sanity and hold her there for as long as possible.
She was delicious. He wanted to do this all day, have her shaking and trembling and crying out as he gave her all the pleasure she deserved and then some.
His groin ached, his own need becoming demanding, but he shoved it aside. It wasn’t important, not right now, not compared to her.
He knew how to pleasure a woman, knew how to bring her to the brink and hold her there. Knew how to use his hands and his mouth to give her the greatest ecstasy, and he did so now. Kissing her, licking, feasting on her. Devouring her as if she was the most delicious treat he’d ever tasted and she was.
She twisted in the chair and he felt her fingers in his hair, clutching at him as he continued to tease and to lick and to nip, using his fingers and then his tongue, circling and stroking that most sensitive part of her.
And he finally got what he wanted, her begging at the end, her fingers knotted in his hair, twisting in his grip as she tried to get that final friction that would send her over the edge.
But he denied her and denied her, wringing as much pleasure from her as he could until finally, with a light flick of his tongue, he gave her what she needed most.
Lark screamed, her body convulsing as the orgasm swept her, and he tasted it, salty and sweet and addictive. Then he held her in his hands as she sobbed and trembled through the aftershocks, and only once she’d quietened did he ease back, looking at her.
Her head had lolled against the back of the chair, her eyes shut and her mouth slightly open, the gleam of perspiration at her throat.
He waited a moment then dealt with her clothes, calmly pulling her dress back down and covering her, while she watched him from beneath long, golden lashes.
‘What about you?’ she asked eventually, her voice hoarse. ‘Don’t you want—?’
‘No,’ he interrupted gently. ‘That was for you. I don’t need anything in return.’
She stared at him a long moment. ‘You want me to say yes, don’t you?’
He could tell her it didn’t matter, not let her know how much he wanted it, but he couldn’t lie, not to her. Not now.
So all he said was, ‘I do. Very much.’
She was silent a long time, just looking at him. Then she said unexpectedly, ‘I don’t want another lover, Cesare. I want you. I want this.’
There was triumph inside him and a wave of satisfaction so intense it should have been a warning sign. But if so, it was a warning he paid no attention to, because he wanted more of this too.
‘Then what is your answer, little bird?’
‘Yes,’ she said softly. ‘My answer is yes.’