Chapter Fourteen
The counter wasn’t conducive to sitting at, but I grabbed a stool all the same and hauled it up beside the till. The overhead lights were on, but not the house lights, so it gave the area a neat look as the display case lights were off. Not that this was unusual; the last time I was in after hours there were no lights, so this was a marked improvement.
I swallowed and watched Elliot as he stood in front of the mug wall and carefully selected a coffee cup of appropriate size. Setting it off to the side, and out of eyesight, he poured milk into a metal cup, and with the machine’s hiss, the milk bubbled and frothed. He cleaned the milk frother and set the metal cup off to the side as he added grounds to a metal pod while a serious expression pushed his brows down into a deep concentration rendering him incapable of speaking, even if he wanted to. The machine whirred and buzzed, and the most amazing aroma danced in the air. As he stepped around the counter, he pumped three shots of maple syrup, added the espresso, and topped it with the foam. For a bonus decoration, he drizzled maple syrup across the foam and passed the cup over.
Suspecting there was a reason he selected this mug, I admired it a little more than usual. It was a cinnamon colour with two mugs holding hands. Above the couple were the words we’re the perfect blend . My heart nearly exploded; it was so sweet.
“Made just the way you like it except, because of the hour, I made it a decaf.”
I checked the time on my phone, quite surprised to see it was pushing ten o’clock already. “Thank you, I appreciate that.”
“Let me whip one up for myself, and we can discuss things, or avoid the elephant in the room like you’ve been doing.”
“I haven’t been avoiding you.”
“Who said I was the elephant?”
“I what? I never said…” I cupped my hands around the mug, allowing the heat to seep into my fingertips. “I’m so confused.”
“You honestly want me to believe you haven’t been avoiding me? Really? So… I’ve been tossing a maple twist every morning for the last nine days just because?” His right eyebrow went high enough to completely hide under his wavy hair.
I hung my head. “You’ve been throwing them out? ”
“Well, not really. I can’t do that, so I’ve been sipping on them. It’s not my drink of choice, a little too sweet for my liking, but I just can’t in good conscience throw out a perfectly acceptable drink.”
“I suppose you’re paying for them too?”
When he didn’t answer, I knew, and a lump formed in the back of my throat. Taking a sip of my specially crafted drink helped shrink it, but not enough to fully dissolve it.
The machine whirred again, and a rich healthy aroma of strong coffee permeated the air, evoking a strange kind of comfort. He frothed some milk and added it to a generic robin’s egg blue mug.
“Shall we sit in your favourite spot?” A subtle head tip pointed toward the wingback chairs.
“We shall.” I got there first and grabbed the better chair—the one that faced out into the rest of the dining room. With my drink on the little table, I leaned back into the chair and wiped imaginary dust off my pants.
The air between us seemed thicker than the froth in my cup, and for many heartbeats, neither of us spoke. He blew across the top of his mug, spraying small bits of foam everywhere, and I just let mine sit, even if it was at the perfect temperature. A couple of degrees cooler wasn’t going to hurt.
I scratched at a pill in the fabric above my knee, picking at it until it pulled away and created a new hole in my leggings.
He crossed his feet at the ankles and uncrossed them, obviously as uncomfortable as I was.
I pulled my hair over my shoulder and started braiding the ends into a long, thick rope.
He took another sip of his drink and set it down, then rested his forearms onto his thighs.
Closing my eyes for a moment, I released a long, breathy exhale, and readied myself to take charge, even if my heart and soul weren’t in it.
“We should talk,” he said at the same time as I asked, “Should we talk?”
He grinned slightly, the left corner pushing up, but it wasn’t a genuine smile. I’d seen better, and much more enthusiastic, ones. “About the whole possible girlfriend situation.”
“Yeah? The redhead—she’s cute, adorable really, and you two seem perfect for each other.” Perhaps I watched longer than I should’ve when I spotted them at the restaurant, but I couldn’t help myself. It was like watching a trainwreck—my own personal trainwreck.
“Ewww. You should know, she’s a distant cousin.” His gaze connected with mine.
“Oh.”
“And she’s also my financial advisor.”
“Oh?” My brows knit together. “Your financial advisor?” That sounded serious.
“Yeah.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “As of the end of the month, you’re looking at the new co-owner of the Coffee Loft. Nina’s hit a lot of hardships over the past couple of months, and especially since leaving Ridge Heights where she’s feeling a little homesick, and she desperately needs the help.” He tipped his head down as if it was shameful, but it was the total opposite.
“There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I think it’s admirable.”
Slowly, he turned to me. “Really?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be? You’re going to be an owner of something you love doing every day, what’s wrong with that?”
“Well, nothing. It’s just, well, my parents aren’t…”
“Whatever.” I waved a hand through the air and rested it on the armrest. “It’s your life. If they’re not proud of you, that’s all on them. You shouldn’t have to shoulder any of their worries.” He grimaced and I mirrored that. “I’m sorry.” With that, I reached out and took a sip of my heavenly drink. Boy oh boy, had I missed that sweet taste.
“What are you sorry for?”
“For overstepping and being direct about your parents.” I shook my head and repositioned myself on the chair. “My sister’s a teacher, and you’d be surprised at some of the things parents say and do, or don’t do, and it ruffles my feathers to no end when a parent can’t treat their own child with respect. Like, I just don’t understand how they can be like that. Your own flesh and blood.” A slight growl rolled out with my words.
“You have a great relationship with your dad, right? ”
I shook my head. Why was I feeling like I’d suddenly walked into a trap, and yet, it was sweet how he remembered about my mom? “Absolutely had a great one with Mom, however, she would’ve liked me to have settled down and picked a career already, but she was happy to support whatever wild endeavour I decided on for that moment.”
“Sounds like a great mom.”
“She was.” There weren’t a lot of people I felt needed to know, but with Elliot, it felt easy, right, natural… “However, a few years ago, after my father’s cheating surfaced, things between my father and I deteriorated for … reasons.” I just knew I wasn’t 100% ready to unload that on him. “In the end, I had to stand up to him and put some much-needed distance between us, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. He was so upset, as he had raised me to respect my elders, but on the flip side of the coin, he’d also raised me to not let myself be pushed around. It was a weird flux of emotions.” And such a horrible day. It still made me shake thinking about that standoff years later. “However, that kind of confidence to stand up for what you believe in, that came years too late.”
“I’d say you still have it.”
“Oh yeah?” I snorted softly.
“Yeah. You seem content and you appear to know your place in this world. You’re a good person through and through. Someone who knows their strengths and weaknesses.” His head tipped to the window.
I leaned back and crossed my legs, pulling my jacket tighter across my chest. “Part of that is an illusion as I really don’t know my place in this world. I don’t know yet what I want from life, and what I do want, I have no idea how to get it.”
“Is that why you pushed me away?”
“Hey, I was upfront with you about how I manage relationships.” I wanted to shake a finger but knew it was pointless. And stupid. I wanted things to work out between us, but I was scared of screwing up more than I had already.
“Yes, you were, and yet, that night, I felt like you were trying me on for size, if you will.” He took a sip of his drink and set it back down. “Like there was a battle you were fighting.”
I sighed, and weighed the words I wanted to share, deciding it truly was best to lay everything out and see where the cards fell. Pushing my shoulders down and uncrossing my legs, I let the words roll out of my mouth. “Because that’s what I do. I was seventeen when I learned my dad had cheated on my mom. That betrayal broke her heart, yet, for some reason, she stayed with him until she absolutely couldn’t anymore. She died a few years later, and deep down, I believe it was because of total heartbreak. Whether or not you believe it, that’s the story Cassie and I are sticking to.” I looked up at the ceiling. “As I entered the dating world, I had a string of boyfriends who thought nothing of either making me the mistress or finding a mistress, and usually that happened within a few months of our relationships. I felt doomed to the same type of relationship my mother endured. However, after those disasters, I figured it was best to not let things get too serious. A couple of weeks, maybe three, four if they hadn’t irritated me too much, but then it was time to let them go.”
“Before they could hurt you.” A sweet and deeply sympathetic smile stretched out across his face.
“Precisely.”
“It makes sense.” He leaned closer, a comfortable kind of close. “I’m sorry the guys you were with didn’t treasure what they had, but in a way, I’m also thankful.”
I narrowed my gaze at him. “Why?”
“Because I get the honour of showing you I’m not like those other guys. I’ve been hurt in relationships, too, but I’ve learned so much on what to do, what not to do, and how to read people to make the best choices. Even better, I’ve learned what my boundaries are, and it’s not pineapple on pizza.” Shaking his head, he laughed and fixed his gaze on me. “You don’t like pineapple on pizza, do you?”
I shook my head, my own grin trying desperately hard to sneak onto my face. “Nope. And no tomatoes either.”
His face lit up. “Because they get squishy when cooked?”
“Yes.” Finally, someone who got me .
His shoulders relaxed and rolled inward as he rested his arms on his thighs. “But seriously, I have scars too. I’ve been cheated on, so I understand that pain. It hurts. It stings. It makes you question everything.”
“Yeah, it does.”
“And I vowed to never be that guy. Communication is so important.”
“That’s admirable, but something you didn’t follow through with.”
“How’s that?” His pitch rose as he barked out a laugh.
“You didn’t talk to me either.”
“You shot me down first, and I tried on several occasions, but I couldn’t form the words. I didn’t want to scare you or pressure you into anything. And I most certainly didn’t want to push you away. I’d watch you walk by in the mornings, and again when you finished work. I saw you at the Little Free Library adding in new titles and spotted you and Chad at the fire station.”
“Oh?”
He crossed his heart. “I swear I’m not a stalker.”
“Neither am I.” A weak smile playing on the edges of my lips turned into a shy grin as I tucked my chin down.
There was a heavy inhale and his hair flopped over his forehead as his head tipped downward. “I don’t have a lot of friends, and I’m a bit of a loner, which I’m okay with. My point is, after I saw you chatting with your brother-in-law at the firehall, I stopped by.”
My breath caught in my lungs.
“Alice is not the best person to chat with and Bryan’s out of town a lot, but I needed to talk to someone man-to-man, and he was super insightful.”
The hairs on the back of my head rose up in anticipation. “What did he tell you?”
“Nothing.”
“What? Really? Some days I can’t get that guy to shut up.”
Elliot looked over at me. “Well, on anything but you, he was chatty, however with regards to you, all he said was to be careful. And not for my sake, but for yours. That, and he may have threatened my life within a few inches if I dare hurt you.”
My heart hammered loudly in my chest, pulsing blood through my veins at high speed which threatened to drown out his words. Inhaling sharply, I begged my body to calm down.
“And I get that a relationship is going to test all your issues and have you wanting to call it quits well before any difficult moments, but you’ll have to trust me a little. I can help you work through them, and if I can’t, I can stand beside you in the storm and hold you close.”
“You’ve already done that.” The words fell out softly as the tears slowly blurred my vision, but I meant it. If he hadn’t been there, I don’t know how I would’ve survived the night. Others laughed at my fear, and yet, he never did.
“You trusted me, right?”
“Yes, in that moment.”
“Sounds like a plan. We’ll take it moment by moment then, since really, that’s what life is. The regular, the ordinary, with moments of something extraordinary tossed in every once in a while to keep us on our toes. There doesn’t have to be a big picture and there doesn’t need to be an end game right now.”
The tears fell. “Good thing you didn’t talk to my sister.”
He chuckled and inched himself to the edge of his seat. “Why are you crying?”
“Because … I’m scared about wanting to take this step with you, and yet, knowing that we’ll be okay.” In saying it, my heart felt lighter, and the endless worrying melted away.
“So, what are you saying?” He waited with bated breath.
I nodded; I couldn’t stop myself. “Let’s give it a shot. Let’s give us a shot.”
He rose and stretched out a willing hand, pulling me up onto my feet. “Oh, Sage. That makes me happy.”
“It mocha me so happy too.” I fell into his open arms and stared up into those gorgeous mossy-green eyes of his.
His head tipped sideways, but he laughed. “Really? ”
“If you’re going to be the new owner, you’re going to have to take over Nina’s puns.”
“Maybe.” Those strong arms that held me together during the storm, wrapped around me once more. Only this time, I wasn’t going to pull away and his grip wasn’t loosening. “I’ll just have to do my own thing.”
“Maybe you will.” I snuggled deeper into his arms as a satisfied sigh rolled out of me. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
I gazed back up to search his eyes and hope he could see my soul. “For being you. For being patient with me. For helping me find one thing I didn’t know I needed so much.”
“Oh yeah?” The smirk deepened. “And what’s that?”
“You know.” I splayed my hand over his heart.
“Maybe, but I want to hear it anyway.” The smile curling on his lips and pushing up into his eyes delighted me as much as the sweet tone in his words.
“You. I need you.” Wow. Saying it was a huge release; it was something I’d never vocalised before—at least not to a guy.
“There she is.” He stared down into my heart and soul. “I knew I’d find you.”
“My very own Prince Charming.”
“My very real Snow White.”
Two characters from our favourite tv show.
I wrinkled up my nose. “Can I be Emma Swan instead? She’s not as fierce as Snow.”
“Ah, I disagree. As Dark Swan—”
I pressed my fingers to his lips to stop him from talking. “Perhaps before we get into a debate on the toughest female of the show, maybe you should kiss me, because I really need you to.”
“Anything you need.”