Elliot
Now Who’s the Rule Breaker?
I glance over the stack of papers at her. “Yeah?”
“Fletcher Adams is here to see you.”
When I look at the time on my computer screen, I realize it’s after twelve.
Fletcher offered to bring me lunch today so we could catch up, but I’ve been so inundated in this case that I completely lost track of time.
Not that I mind the distraction—it’s keeping me from thinking about the fact that my dad ordered Dilynne and me to come to my parents’ house Friday night, and I still haven’t told her.
Truth be told, I’ve sort of been avoiding my fake fiancée since the night she came to my house and we established rules for our arrangement—rules I hoped would help me ignore the uncomfortable feelings she dredges up.
Sadly, I was sorely mistaken.
“Send him in.” I set the papers down on my desk and lean back in my chair, stretching my arms over my head while waiting for Fletcher to make his way back to my office. The second he appears in the doorway, the smell of the food he brought with him instantly hits my nostrils.
“Meatball subs from The Happy Belly Deli?”
He nods, smiling proudly. “You fucking know it, man.” Shutting the door behind him, he approaches my desk. I move my papers out of the way so they don’t become victims of marinara sauce or mozzarella cheese, and Fletcher distributes our respective sandwiches and bags of Cool Ranch Doritos.
As we dig in, I ask, “What’s with the Doritos?”
“Oh, they’re Dilynne’s favorite and she got Laney hooked on them. And when one of Laney’s pregnancy cravings hits, it comes on with a vengeance, so we are stocked.”
“Wow. The off-season sounds so rough for you.”
Fletcher laughs as he wipes his face with a napkin. “Yeah, yeah. How are things with you? I haven’t talked to you in almost a week.”
“I’m busy, man. Not all of us have jobs that give us multiple months off during the year.”
He shrugs. “Yeah, I forget that sometimes. But uh…” He clears his throat. “I think this is going to be my last year.”
My eyebrows nearly hit my hairline. “No shit. I thought you weren’t ready yet?”
He sighs heavily, reaching for his drink. “Me too, until Laney got pregnant. It has me reassessing how much my job takes me away from her, you know? And then adding on the idea of being away from my kid is making me want to quit now, but I still want a chance at a ring.”
“You’re only thirty-three, man.”
“Exactly, but time isn’t something you can ever get back, Elliot.
It’s the one currency everyone wishes they could get more of at some point, but that’s impossible.
I don’t want to look back and regret not being there for the big and small moments.
I had a father who chose the game over me, and I refuse to do the same thing to my kid. ”
Fletcher’s father, Luke Adams, also played in the NFL, but was forced to retire when he shattered his ankle.
Last year, when Fletcher came home for my wedding to Tori, the boys and I found out that part of the way Luke dealt with losing the game was turning to alcohol and taking out his frustration on Fletcher with his fists.
It shook our friend group to the core because he hid it from us since we were kids, but once he admitted it, it’s changed a lot for him.
The way he confronted his past has made me, Henley, and Rhonan look at our lives differently too.
Hell, I know for a fact without the three of them bugging the shit out of me for the past year that I wouldn’t be standing on my own two feet right now.
Fletcher also encouraged me to go to therapy, and I can already sense how it’s making me reassess some things too.
“Then do what you feel is best, Fletch.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do. Laney says she supports me no matter what, but I also want to give her the life that I promised her.”
I set my sandwich down and take a sip from my drink. “You’re lucky to have a partner like her, man. I mean, Laney is a fucking rock star on her own, but the two of you together remind me a lot of my grandparents.”
A familiar ache spreads across my chest as the memories of them build. Sometimes I feel like I’ve disappointed my grandfather in not finding someone like my grandma for myself, like I told him I would.
But turns out that relationships are a lot fucking harder than I thought, and you can go into them with the greatest of intentions, but the other person has to want the same things you do in order for it to work—yet another lesson my therapist has helped me realize.
“Damn. That’s a huge compliment coming from you, man. Thank you. I know how much you looked up to them.”
“I mean it. It’s rare to see couples who are a team, who make everything about the unit instead of him versus her. Trust me, I see plenty of couples going through painful divorces in this office.”
“But you were still willing to give marriage a try.”
“Because I thought Tori was the partner that I needed. But now?” I blow out a breath before admitting, “I’ve realized I was more in love with the idea of her. And honestly, I’m not sure I would consider marriage again.”
“Not even if you found the right person?”
I shake my head. “I’m losing faith in that idea the older I get.”
“You just finished telling me how much you admire me and Laney. You don’t think we’re the right people for each other?”
“I was referring to myself.”
Fletcher chuckles before leaning forward and lowering his voice. “So I take it that your fake engagement won’t lead to actual wedded bliss?”
I give him my best deadpan stare. “And you can fuck right off.”
His head falls back as he laughs. “Oh, come on, Elliot. Henley might not want to believe that anything could happen between you and Dilynne, but Rhonan and I could definitely see it.”
“Good to know you guys are talking shit about me behind my back.”
He glares at me. “There’s a huge difference in discussing and talking shit, and you know it.”
“So what exactly have you been discussing?”
“Mostly how long it’s going to take you to admit that part of the reason you haven’t slept with anyone since Tori is because your dick has only been attracted to one other woman, who just so happens to be your fake fiancée.
” I arch a brow at him, but he doesn’t let me reply.
“Yeah, Rhonan told me about what happened at The Charming Bull.”
“Great.”
“Don’t worry. Henley doesn’t know. We thought the sister line would be one that isn’t worth crossing yet.”
“Speaking from experience?” I tease him.
Fletcher rubs the back of his neck, smiling sheepishly. “Maybe a little.”
“Okay, so what? My dick got hard while watching Dilynne ride a mechanical bull? Why does that matter?”
Fletcher’s smile drops as he stares directly into my eyes. “The more important question is, why haven’t you reacted to her like that up until this point?”
Staring at one of my best friends, I debate if it’s time to admit the truth to him about the past year—that is, if his wife hasn’t already told him. “Laney never told you?”
“Told me what?”
“About Dilynne checking on me?”
His brows draw together. “No. What the fuck are you talking about?”
I let out a heavy sigh and spend the next few minutes recapping how Dilynne has shown up for me as a friend, despite our animosity toward each other.
Fletcher’s eyes are so wide by the time I’m done that I’m afraid they might fall out of his head. “First of all, I’m going to have a word with my wife when I get home because she’s been keeping this from me. But second…” He scratches his chin. “I honestly can’t say that I’m surprised.”
“Really?”
“Hell yeah, man. Dilynne is one of the best people to have as a friend.”
“But she’s not my friend.”
His head falls to the side as he arches an eyebrow. “Really? You’re telling me that you two have known each other all these years, and you’ve never once considered her a friend?”
The funny thing is, when I watched the press junket she did earlier this week, I caught myself smiling with pride from the way she conducted herself.
I was proud of how articulate she was, how she didn’t shy away from owning her talents and avoided using any obstacles that she’s faced in her life as an excuse.
It felt like watching a friend show the world why she’s a badass.
But then every flash of our interactions over the years reappeared, and suddenly I was irritated again.
I stab my desk with my finger. “Hey, she’s the one who decided she hated my guts, so I gave her the same treatment back. And it’s not like I was wise enough to try to mend it back then. Besides, Henley would have killed me if he knew I was secretly crushing on her.”
Fletcher nearly falls out of his chair. “What?”
Shit. I didn’t mean to say that thought out loud.
“You—you had a crush on her? When?”
I rub the back of my neck. “Fuck.”
“Dude. You need to explain, and now.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “This stays between us, okay?”
He draws an X across his chest. “Promise.”
Blowing out a breath, I lower my voice. “Our junior year, I sort of started crushing on her. She and Laney were freshmen, though, and we had made our stupid pact, right?”
Fletcher nods. “The pact wasn’t stupid, but I get what you’re saying.”
I roll my eyes, then continue. “So, I just played it cool, and then at the beginning of our senior year, she just started acting like she hated me, so I convinced myself that what I felt toward her was idiotic, so I shoved it down. And the meaner she was to me, the easier it was to forget that I liked her at one point.” Shrugging, I watch the irritation slide across his face.
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Did it ever occur to you to ask her why she acts that way?”
My eyes drift to the side of my office as I contemplate his question. I already know the answer, but I don’t like it. “I did. Last year, when she kept showing up to check on me, I tried to get her to discuss it. But…she just brushed me off.”