Chapter 20
20
After giving Andrea the evening off to spend time with his family, I head over to James’s apartment for our dinner. Well, I say ‘head over’, but his apartment is right next door to mine, so it’s not like I have far to go, is it?
James opens the door, greeting me in true Italian fashion with a kiss on each cheek.
‘ Ciao , ciao ,’ he says, not quite nailing the accent – but who am I to (quite literally) talk?
‘Hello,’ I say cheerily. ‘Wow, you smell nice.’
I blurt this out without thinking. It makes James smile, though.
‘Thanks,’ he replies. ‘Come in, please.’
James steps aside, so that I can join him. He’s looking good – like he’s made an effort, in a smart pair of trousers and a white shirt. I have also made an effort, putting on one of my new sun dresses; however, I have tried to make it look like I haven’t made any real effort at all, so my hair and make-up are understated (well, no, again, I want my ‘natural look’ make-up to look understated, but I’m actually wearing a frankly tremendous amount to achieve the look).
Once I take my eyes off James, the next thing I notice is his apartment. Wow, okay, it is definitely much bigger than mine. It’s no surprise, though. Rick loves to play favourites, and James is definitely his favourite.
Oh, and I’m noticing something else too, now that I’m in here. I’m the first one to arrive so, for now, James and I are alone together.
‘Just the two of us so far, hmm?’ I point out, stating the obvious.
‘Yes, well, it’s not often I get to see you on your own, is it?’ he replies. ‘Not lately, anyway. I’d almost forgotten what you looked like, without Andrea attached to you. He’s a bit much, isn’t he? Sort of… clingy.’
I don’t think James was intending to let all of that out but the words just flowed from his lips, like he’d sprung a leak, one that he couldn’t stop.
Honestly, it really does seem like it’s coming from a place of pure jealousy. It’s actually hilarious, how much more desirable having a boyfriend makes me appear to other men – well, to James at least. And the fact that James believes Andrea is my fiancé only seems to intensify things. The more he thinks he can’t have me, the more he seems to want me.
‘Anyway, what’s he doing tonight?’ James asks. ‘Where is Andrea?’
‘Oh, he’s next door, in our apartment,’ I reply casually. Lying, obviously.
James peers at the wall between our apartments, as if trying to see through it, as a sly smile creeps through his lips.
I can still smell his aftershave, even from here. Now that I think about it, it’s all I can smell.
‘I can’t smell any cooking,’ I point out, suddenly wondering what’s for dinner, and – I was going to say hoping it’s not just Lemon Soda and crisps, but I don’t think I’d hate that.
‘Did you really think I would cook?’ he replies, amused that I thought he would even bother. ‘I’ve ordered room service.’
Then, as I glance around, I notice that James has only set the table for two. A single flower sits elegantly in a glass, with a scattering of petals below it, in a way that seems exclusively romantic.
‘I thought other people would be joining us,’ I say, surprised (but not completely disappointed) by the intimate set-up.
James shakes his head.
‘You thought wrong,’ he replies smoothly. ‘I thought you might like a break from all the craziness and to chat – just the two of us.’
I’m not even sure what he means by that but, wow, I can’t believe he’s done this. Yes, this is what I’ve wanted, for so long, but… I don’t know, his approach is so confident. Too confident, maybe? Although it is his confidence that has always been one of the main reasons I fancy him. And he’s being so smooth, and suave, and charming – but, even though I am single, James doesn’t know that, which gives all of this an almost aggressively cocky edge.
James pours me a big glass of wine.
‘Come on, let’s sit on the sofa, while we wait for the food to arrive,’ he suggests.
‘Okay, sure,’ I reply, taking my glass, then my seat.
‘Have you always dressed so sexily?’ he asks suddenly, his gaze lingering on me.
Totally uncool, I know, but I feel my cheeks start to flush at the idea of him finding me sexy. I know that he’s been flirting with me, so it’s not a surprise, but hearing it confirmed is really something.
I decide to just laugh it off because, truthfully, the answer is of course no.
‘Are you working on anything specific for the pitch?’ I ask, switching to professional mode. ‘Did you invite me here because you wanted to work together?’
I want to work on my own so I really hope he doesn’t say yes – which surprises me.
‘I’m already working on something,’ he replies vaguely with a shake of his head.
He’s probably working with Henry, like he always does. Rick usually tells us that we can work alone or collaborate, and it usually ends up with James and Henry working together, Liz and Cait teaming up, and then there is me and Priya – and obviously we would be working together this time, were she not stuck back home with her feet up.
‘I didn’t invite you here for business, Robin, I invited you here for pleasure,’ he adds.
Before I can say a word, James takes to his feet, offering me a hand, so that I can join him.
Intrigued, I take it. Only for James to lead me across the room and then stop.
‘You said Andrea is behind this wall?’ James checks.
‘Yes,’ I lie again. God, I hope he isn’t going to suggest he joins us – obviously, because he’s not actually there.
James leans in close to the wall, pressing his ear up against it.
‘Listen,’ he commands me.
Realising that he’s wanting me to press my ear up against the wall too, I oblige, wondering what on earth he can hear because, I can’t stress this enough, my apartment is empty.
‘I can’t hear anything,’ I say – because I can’t.
‘Yeah, I don’t think you can hear anything through these walls,’ James replies, his tone vaguely suggestive. ‘I certainly can’t hear… you two.’
Yeah, that’s because there is no ‘us two’, it’s just me over there, so I would be worried if he could hear anything.
I swallow hard as James moves towards me, getting closer and closer, in what feels like super slow motion. When he finally arrives at his destination, he places a hand on my cheek, moving his face closer to mine.
‘It’s sort of hot, isn’t it? Knowing that he’s just on the other side of that wall, but that he can’t hear us,’ James tells me, his voice low and tempting. ‘If we wanted to… do anything… we probably could.’
‘Right,’ I say simply, neither here nor there, because I don’t know what else to say right now.
‘I’m just saying, you know, if anything were to happen,’ he continues, each word dripping with anticipation, ‘it would stay strictly inside these four walls.’
It is crystal clear to me now that James is mine, when and if I want him, and that has been the goal for the longest time… but the problem is that, if I do this now, it could cause more harm than good. Obviously I’m single but perception is everything, and as far as everyone here is concerned, Andrea is my fiancé, so if I do this I’m going to look like a cheater. And not only do I not want to come across as an adulterer generally, but I need to think about Rick, and what he would think if he found out. He seems like he adores Andrea – what would he think of me, if he thought I was cheating on him? What could it mean for my job?
I can’t do it. I just can’t. I need to stick to the plan, to wait until my fake break-up is public knowledge, and then and only then am I free to do what (or who) I like.
James clearly isn’t on the same page, though. His face wasn’t all that far from mine anyway but now he’s leaning in with intent, his lips lightly parted as they approach mine. He’s coming in for a kiss – what do I do? Playing hard to get only seems to be driving him even more wild, but pushing him away in anger might go too far the other way. But I can’t kiss him right now, no way. I need to do something.
A loud knock on the door jolts us both back to reality – and saves me from a potentially awkward situation. It’s such a relief. I really don’t know what I would have done if we hadn’t been disturbed.
‘You should probably get that,’ I tell him. I briefly clear my throat because my voice is dipping in and out.
‘It’s probably the food,’ James replies casually as he backs off. ‘To be continued, I guess.’
Oh, we’ll see about that.
James swings open the door and it is the food, technically, it’s just that Liz is the person holding the tray. James looks surprised to see her there – but not as surprised as Liz does to see me in here with him.
‘Liz, what are you doing here?’ James asks her. He actually sounds disappointed. ‘I mean, why are you delivering the food?’
‘Well, I was coming to see you, and the waiter was on his way up with your food, so I offered to bring it up,’ she explains. ‘But, erm, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise I was interrupting something.’
Normally I would be annoyed about Liz turning up – because this is just classic Liz, right? But this time she may have actually done me a favour. Well, I know that I have James well and truly on the hook, but I also know that he can’t be mine yet.
‘Oh, you’re not interrupting anything,’ I insist. ‘And I’m sure there is plenty of food to go around.’
‘There isn’t,’ James chimes in – a little too quickly for Liz’s liking. ‘I just mean, I only ordered two plates of pasta, and garlic bread that is also just for two.’
This is it. This is my out.
‘I know, why don’t the two of you eat this,’ I suggest. ‘Andrea really wanted to take me out for dinner tonight, but I told him I needed to work. But, seeing as though we had already decided not to talk about work, that means I can go.’
James looks disappointed. Liz, on the other hand, looks confused, like she doesn’t know whether to feel devastated or smug. Smug does seem to be winning, though.
For me this couldn’t have worked out better. I’m happy – well, as happy as I can be, given how starving I am. Everything is falling into place but I just need to be patient. Then, when the time is right, I’ll get what I want.
Then we’ll see how smug Liz is.