Chapter 1 #2
“But that’s something I gotta eat.”
“At least you’re honest.”
“Am I happy about it? Hell no, but she ain’t doing it to my face.”
I stare out the window.
“And the moment Rhy steps back inside these city limits, it’s a wrap.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning, I’m done playing fucking nice.”
A slow smile tugs at my mouth. Because, unlike everybody else, I know something they don’t.
Rhy may be out of sight. But she’s never been out of my reach.
“I still got eyes on her.”
Simmy groans immediately.
“Nigga, here you go.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know you’re serious. That’s the problem.”
“If I wanted Rhy standing next to me today, trust me, I could make it happen.”
Simmy slowly raises both of his hands.
“Aiight, nigga. I don’t want any part of whatever obsessive shit you got going on.”
I laugh despite myself. Truth be told, I was already halfway to Dallas in my head. For the first time all day, Tamika wasn’t the fucking problem. Rhy was.
Idropped Simmy off at one of our warehouses on 20th Street and Lake Providence. We picked up a few duffel bags full of cash and restocked the traps with edibles, shrooms, coke, and heroin at several of our spots.
Same routine.
Clockwork.
Yeah, this is the kind of work that numbs you if you let it. I’ve known Simmy my whole life. My momma and Simmy’s momma are best friends—fuck it, she’s my Aunt Viv.
So, Simmy is my fucking brother. We’ve done everything together. I understand where he’s coming from. I really do. Simmy only feels this way because he’s married to Rhy’s cousin, Bianca. Yeah, we fucked around and married cousins.
On some G shit I should’ve never said I do, knowing damn well I wasn’t ready to be committed to one woman, let alone Rhy, for the rest of my life. I’m not there yet. I will be in a few years, though. I don’t regret marrying Rhy.
It’s one of the reasons I’m not tripping about Rhy still being gone. I know what the fuck I’m doing out here on these streets, and she’s not with me anymore; she left. It ain’t no breaking up, and we said, “I do.” I’m still doing me.
I plan to get my shit together soon, but not today. In the meantime, let me check in with this hoe, Tamika, to see what the fuck she’s saying.
Ipulled up to Tamika’s spot. The sky darkened too fast. Tamika’s block is busy as fuck.
Too busy, might I add.
It’s a gang of niggas standing on the corners; they nod at me like they recognize the Range before they recognize me. I clock every face, every car, every set of eyes that lingers a little too long. My gaze sweeps the street twice before I reach for my phone.
Tamika answers on the first ring.
“Aye, hoe... bring your ass outside. Let’s take a ride.”
“Baby daddy, don’t talk to me like that.”
That word really irritates the shit out of me. Tamika is feeling herself today.
Still playing games.
Still talking like she’s got some shit figured out.
“Aye, hoe, I ain’t your baby daddy.”
“You’ll see, Chaun-Cey. I hope it’s a boy, too.”
My jaw tightens.
“Aye, bring your ass outside.”
“Baby daddy, where are we going?”
“Does it matter? You never questioned me before.”
“Give me a minute. I need to put my friends out. We were about to start planning my baby shower.”
Wrong answer.
My grip on the steering wheel tightens.
“Aye, you’ve got two minutes. After that, I’m leaving.”
“I’m coming, damn it. I don’t know why you’re so impatient all of a sudden.”
Because I want answers.
Today.
Not tomorrow. Not next week.
Right now.
“You know why.”
“You said you were pulling up. I didn’t know we were going somewhere.”
Click.
The line goes dead.
I glance around the block again and wait. A few minutes later, Tamika finally comes outside, her little crew trailing behind her. All of them are smiling, laughing, whispering, and looking over at my truck like they already know something I don’t.
I already know what happened. Tamika told everybody. The moment she got off the phone, she started running her big ass mouth. Tamika struts toward the Range, the biggest smile on her face. She reaches for the passenger-side door.
Locked.
The smile immediately twitches. I roll the window down and laugh.
Tamika folds her arms across her chest as her friends start laughing behind her. I told this hoe weeks ago to stop fucking playing with me.
Apparently, she thought I was fucking around.
“Chaun-Cey, stop fucking around. It’s cold out here.”
Her smile fades a little.
“Why should I?”
“You really got your baby and me out here looking crazy.”
“I told you that’s not my baby.”
For a second, neither one of us says anything.
Then I hit the unlock button.
The doors click.
Tamika straightens up immediately and climbs in. The scent of perfume fills the truck before she even shuts the door. She pulls out her phone and starts taking pictures as if she’s already won something.
I hit the lock button twice.
Tamika glances over at me.
Confused.
Curious.
Suspicious.
I don’t say a word. I pull away from the curb.
Neither one of us speaks. The silence riding between us feels heavier than the truck.
I ain’t got no problem not talking to this hoe.
I want to get this shit over with. The weatherman is a lying-ass motherfucka.
Rain started tapping against the windshield.
The streets blur.
My grip tightens on the wheel. Rhy flashes through my mind uninvited. The way she used to sit quietly when she was disappointed with a nigga. That silence always hurt worse than yelling. I miss my wife really bad; I won’t lie.
A slight grin tugged at my face; Rhy is really out here trying to move on with her life and get over me. It’s not happening. I can feel Tamika staring at me. I started grilling her trifling ass. Hoe, what the fuck is she looking at, ruining my fucking moment?
“So, where are we going, Chaun-Cey?”
Rule number 1: never get inside a car with a nigga, and don’t ask fucking questions.
“I’m finna take yo hoe ass to my doctor to see how far along you are, and you’re finna abort this fucking mission.”
I’m not sure what Tamika thought this was, but it’s not that. The only woman who will ever bear my kids is Rhy; that’s it.
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah… I told yo ass earlier. You weren’t having my fucking baby. I know it’s not mine. Tell the next nigga I’m doing him a favor.”
“I’m not having an abortion.”
“You finna see.”
Tamika tries to unlock the car door, but it won’t open.
“Chaun-Cey, let me out of this fucking car.”
“Aye, Tamika. It’s a little too late for that…”
“Chaun-Cey, let me out of this fucking car.”
A faint chuckle escapes my lips.
“Aye, Tamika, you’re a long way from home. It’s funny because you’re the same hoe who was just bragging about fucking me.”
“Chaun-Cey, did I lie, though?”
“I never said we didn’t fuck… But I know yo ass is lying to your friends and shit about you being my baby momma. Do me a favor and brag to those hoes about me taking yo ass to have an abortion. I don’t play games.”
“So, I don’t have a choice?”
“No, you don’t.”
“It’s my body.”
“And it’s for sale…”
“I should have some say-so.”
“You stopped having a say the moment you lied and said it’s my baby.”
“It is.”
“I said it’s not, though.”
“You’ll see.”
“I’m finna show yo ass… I’m tripping because you were screaming earlier. I can drop off a bag for you and your baby every week.”
“It’s not too late.”
“Aye, hoe, you must think I’m dumb or something.”
“I never said you were.”
“I’m not your meal ticket. There’s only one woman in this world who can spend my money without any restrictions, and that’s my wife.”
“So let me guess, your wife is the only bitch who can bear your kids?”
I leaned over and smacked Tamika in her fucking mouth. Tamika ran her free hand across her jaw. I know Tamika is in her feelings, but when it comes to my wife, she’d better hold her fucking breath every fucking time. I ain’t never made this bitch any promises that we could be any fucking thing.
“Aye, watch your mouth before I put something in it that’s not a dick…”
“Chaun-Cey, you really put your hands on me?”
“Yeah, my wife is the only woman who can bear my kids, but you already knew that, though. Don’t ever fucking disrespect her. This little bullshit we got going on has nothing to do with her. I told you this day one when you decided you wanted to ride and eat my dick.”
“I lied, Chaun-Cey. It’s not yours.”
“I know it’s not my baby, but I still want to take care of this lil business for the next nigga.”
I don’t trust Tamika. I ain’t handing out passes to hoes. I’m not sure what her agenda is, but I’m aborting her fucking mission.
We pull into the clinic lot. It’s crowded. Cars everywhere. It’s busy as fuck today. I don’t give a fuck. Tamika looked at me and rolled her big-ass eyes. She finna stand in line with the rest of these hoes today.
“Are we really doing this?”
I don’t know why she’s surprised. I’m not on a dummy mission. I ain’t finna give no hoe no paper, and I trust she’s having an abortion. We finna handle this shit right now and get this shit over with.
“Yes.”
I stepped out of my Range Rover, pissed the fuck off.
I can’t believe this goofy-ass bitch got me here in the middle of my fucking day.
Tamika acted like she wasn’t about to get out of my Range Rover.
I pulled her ass out of the front seat. If Tamika’s screaming, she’s pregnant by me; she won’t be after today.
People are watching.
Phones out.
Whispers are already starting.
I ushered Tamika through the back door. Inside, the air smells of disinfectant and nerves. Tamika’s breathing changes. She keeps glancing around, as if she’s finally realizing she misplayed her hand.
I run into another bitch I don’t want to see, Kori.
Her eyes flick to Tamika, then back to me. Recognition is sharp and immediate. I feel static from Kori, but she already knows what it is with me. I’m sure I hurt Kori’s feelings, but it is what it is.
I ain’t handing out any titles to anybody. I got a wife; every bitch I deal with knows about her. Tamika stiffens; she looks at me, then at Kori. I promise if Tamika starts her shit, she’s going to regret it. I’m not with her bullshit.