Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
RHYAN
Two hours later, I was finally back in the city that healed me and reshaped me into somebody stronger.
Dallas.
The second I slid into my Maybach Benz, I closed my eyes for a brief second and exhaled. It had been a minute since I drove my baby. The familiar leather scent wrapping around me instantly grounded me in reality again.
Teflon Hills felt like emotion. Dallas felt like clarity. Two completely different versions of myself existed in those cities.
I grabbed my phone and texted Kosh.
Can we talk?
Read.
No response.
Damn.
I leaned my head back against the seat, staring through the windshield at the skyline. I already knew leaving Dallas was going to hurt. Maybe not in the same way, leaving Chauncey hurt, but pain is still pain.
Sometimes I ask God, why me?
But honestly…why not me?
Growth was never supposed to be comfortable.
When I first relocated here, I wasn’t expecting anything except peace. I came to Dallas planning to bury myself in nursing, work long shifts, heal quietly, and learn how to exist without anything familiar around me.
No Chauncey. No Teflon Hills. No gossip. No chaos. Just me.
I definitely wasn’t expecting to meet Kosh.
And I damn sure wasn’t expecting to lowkey fall hard for him either.
That’s what makes this situation so complicated. Kosh wasn’t some rebound or distraction. He came into my life during one of the darkest periods I’d ever experienced and helped me rediscover softness without demanding anything in return.
Safe love hits different when you come from survival love.
I glanced down at my phone again before texting him a second time.
Can we talk?
Read.
Again.
Still no response.
Yeah… he knew. Or at least he felt something shifted before I even landed. Men always know when a woman’s heart starts drifting somewhere else.
I rubbed my forehead slowly, trying to think. Because if Chauncey is feeling even half as intense as I think he is right now, he’ll either be in Dallas tonight… or first thing in the morning.
That man was hanging on by a thread at the airport. And the last thing I wanted was to get back involved with Chauncey while still leaving unfinished emotions sitting in Dallas, waiting to explode later.
No. I owed Kosh honesty. Respect. Closure if that’s what this was becoming. Especially because a few weeks from now, if Chauncey and I are really trying this again, the last thing I need is to be out somewhere with my husband and run into a man who once held my heart while I was rebuilding it.
That’s messy. And I’m tired of messiness. I started the Maybach slowly and pulled into Dallas traffic, my thoughts running wild.
For the first time in a long time, I realized something painful: Healing sometimes means grieving people who were good to you… But no longer belong to your future.
It took me almost an hour to finally make it home. Dallas traffic was ridiculous, bumper-to-bumper, damn near the entire ride. Usually, driving through the city calmed me down, but tonight my mind wouldn’t slow down long enough for me to enjoy any of it.
Every few minutes, I kept glancing at my phone mounted on the dashboard, hoping to see Kosh’s name pop up.
Nothing. No text. No call back.
Nothing.
And honestly? It’s cool. I can’t even be mad at him. Tonight we need to have a conversation, whether he wants to or not. Some things deserve face-to-face honesty, especially when feelings are involved.
But truthfully?
I think he’s giving me the same energy I’ve been giving him. Kosh called me a few times while I was back home in Teflon Hills, and every single time my phone lit up, I ignored it because I was with Chauncey.
At the time, it felt easier not to answer.
Now?
I can see how silence probably answered everything for him anyway. That guilt sat heavy on my chest as I pulled into my building’s garage. Kosh never played games with me emotionally. He was intentional, consistent, present.
And people like that notice distance right away.
I parked my Maybach and sat there for a second, staring at my phone before finally grabbing my purse and heading upstairs. My heels echoed softly through the hallway as exhaustion started settling into my bones.
Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. I was drained.
I just wanted tomorrow to be peaceful—no drama, no pressure, no emotional tug-of-war between my past and my future.
Because Sunday?
It’s back to work. Back to twelve-hour shifts. Back to patients, charting, exhaustion, and pretending my personal life ain’t hanging by a thread behind perfectly done makeup and scrubs.
And somehow, that grounded me a little. Because outside of Chauncey. Outside of Kosh. Outside of love entirely… I still had a life to maintain.
I know exactly where to find Kosh on a Friday night. And whether he wanted to have this conversation or not… it was happening tonight.
I grabbed my phone and called a few of my nurse girls to see if they wanted to step out one last time before I officially left Dallas for good. Everybody went down instantly, and that worked out perfectly.
Because if I was about to break somebody’s heart tonight, I needed my girls around me afterward.
Misery loves company—and tequila. I went ahead and ordered us a section, then sent the details in the group chat. We planned to link up around nine, which gave me plenty of time to get mentally ready.
Or at least try to.
I tossed my phone onto the counter and stood in the middle of my condo quietly for a second. Outside, the city skyline stretched past my windows. Inside, the silence felt heavier than usual.
Because deep down, I already knew tonight wasn’t just about closure. It was about accountability. Kosh deserved honesty. Real honesty. Not half-truths softened to protect my guilt. That realization sat like a brick in my chest.
I headed to my bathroom and ran water to wash my hair, trying to calm my nerves before tonight. Steam slowly filled the room as my thoughts kept spiraling in circles.
Lord.
Emotionally and physically, I wasn’t ready for this conversation at all.
Because saying goodbye to somebody who hurt you is one thing. Saying goodbye to somebody who loved you gently? That’s a completely different type of pain.
My phone rang suddenly, pulling me out of my thoughts. That unknown number I forgot to save earlier.
Chauncey.
I answered almost instantly.
“You made it home safely?”
“I did. Traffic was crazy.” I kicked my heels off near the couch and sighed softly. “I started to call you on the drive, but I decided against it.”
“Okay.” A beat. “I miss you.”
Lord.
That man wasted no time. “I miss you too.”
“I can’t tell,” he muttered dramatically. “Done forgot about me already.”
I laughed despite myself and leaned against the kitchen counter.
“Whatever.”
“Nah, I’m serious.” I could hear the smile in his voice now. “I’mma see you tomorrow though. I ain’t think I was that unforgettable.”
“Chauncey, stop.”
“I’m serious.” His tone softened a little underneath the teasing. “I miss you, and you’re already out here running off on a nigga.”
“I am not.”
But honestly?
The crazy part was that hearing his voice already made Dallas feel different. Less distant. Less detached. Like somehow, Teflon Hills followed me here anyway.
I smiled to myself as I listened to him breathe on the phone.
At least now I knew for sure.
Tomorrow?
Chauncey was absolutely going to be here. Chauncey and I finally ended our call, but not before making plans for me to call him before I stepped inside the club, just in case he tried calling while I was out.
And honestly? I was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. That realization still scared me.
But before any of that, I needed to have this conversation with Kosh first. No avoiding it. No running from it. Just truth.
I finished washing my hair and worked curl pudding through it carefully before fluffing my curls out in the mirror. Yeah, curls were definitely the move tonight. I wasn’t trying to sweat out a silk press while dealing with emotions, tequila, and Texas heat.
Once my hair dried enough, I headed toward my closet and started flipping through hangers looking for something to wear.
I wanted simple. But not forgettable. Especially not tonight.
Because if Kosh walked in acting distant and cold, I still wanted him to remember what he was losing. I was done being unsure about what this meant.
Eventually, I pulled out a denim two-piece short set.
The fitted high-waisted shorts hugged me perfectly, and the cropped long-sleeve jean jacket sat just right against my skin.
No bra tonight either—thank God my breasts still sat up naturally because this outfit definitely wasn’t built for extra support.
I paired it with some nude strappy sandals that wrapped all the way up my calves, adding just enough softness to balance the denim.
Simple. Sexy. Dangerous.
Then I sat down at my vanity and started beating my face carefully. Soft glam. Nothing too dramatic. Just enough to make my skin glow and my eyes pop under club lights.
Once I finished, I lined my lips slowly and blended my favorite lip combo together while staring at myself in the mirror.
And for a second… I barely recognized the woman looking back at me.
Somewhere between heartbreak, healing, Dallas, nursing, Chauncey, and Kosh… I became a completely different woman.
Iglanced down at the AP wrapped around my wrist. 8:45 p.m.Damn.
I ain’t mean to run late, but shit happens. Between washing my hair, overthinking my life, and emotionally spiraling every five minutes, time got away from me fast.
I grabbed my purse off the vanity while mentally running through tonight one more time.
Kosh owned Clovers, so I already knew I had to move carefully. I booked the section under Missy’s name just in case one of his employees decided to give him the drop that I’d be there tonight.
Because if Kosh knew me the way I think he does, he probably already sensed this wasn’t a random girls’ night.
And honestly, that made my stomach tighten a little. I walked back toward the mirror for one final look before heading out.