Chapter 35 #3
That one almost took me out emotionally, because leaving Dallas suddenly stopped feeling like leaving a city. It felt like leaving behind an entire version of myself.
“Yes,” I nodded softly. “This is what we want.”
The words still felt surreal as they left my mouth, but for the first time, they also felt honest.
It took a heavy tragedy, a whole year of separation, and a lot of healing for us to even get to this point. But… here we are.
My girls listened quietly, really listening, and somehow that made me emotional all over again.
“And I could never forget about y’all,” I added quickly. “Y’all family now.”
Missy grabbed her chest dramatically. “Aww.”
“I’m serious.” I laughed. “I was telling my cousin about y’all, and she was lowkey hating because I got new friends.”
That made the whole section laugh instantly.
“She should be.” Angelle flipped her hair proudly. “We are elite.”
“Very elite,” Serenity added while raising her glass.
I shook my head, smiling, before leaning back into the booth.
“But nah, for real… I want y’all to come visit. And of course I’m coming back too.”
And I meant that. Because no matter where life took me next, Dallas would always hold pieces of me now.
The healed version. The softer version. The version that learned how to breathe without constantly surviving.
I glanced over toward Kosh’s section again instinctively, but still… no sign of him.
At this point, maybe he really didn’t want to be seen tonight.
And honestly?
Maybe that was my answer after all. Maybe this was one of those conversations that didn’t need to happen face-to-face after all.
Because silence says a lot too. I looked back toward my girls and made a decision right then: I wasn’t about to spend my entire last girls’ night in Dallas emotionally spiraling over a man avoiding me.
Not tonight.
Tonight, I was going to enjoy my friends, my section, my city, and the version of myself Dallas helped create. I pulled my phone out one more time underneath the table.
Still on read.
I locked my screen and slid my phone back into my bag.
I ain’t pressed.
At least… that’s what I told myself as I tried to shake it off.
I ordered lemon drops and shots for everybody because, at this point, it was officially time to stop spiraling and enjoy the damn night.
The waitress brought the bottles and shots over while the girls screamed dramatically like they hadn’t all worked twelve-hour shifts crying over patients and men all month.
“To new memories!” Missy yelled, lifting her shot glass.
“And bad decisions!” Angelle added.
“Speak for yourself.” I laughed before clinking glasses with them anyway.
We took our shots together and chased them with lemon drops while the music vibrated through the section. Slowly, the tension in my body began to loosen, and I let myself settle into the night.
This was exactly what I needed.
My girls.
Good music.
Good drinks. One last Dallas night with the women who held me together while I rebuilt myself here.
We took flicks, laughed too loudly, and caught a vibe while the DJ absolutely did his big one all night. The energy inside Clovers was insane, with packed sections, flashing lights, and people singing every lyric at the top of their lungs like heartbreak and tequila paid the same tab.
For a few hours, I stopped thinking. No Chauncey. No Kosh. No decisions. No future. Just music and movement. Then, out of nowhere...
Rod Wave’s Street Runner started blasting through the speakers.
Whew.
And just like that, the energy shifted.
Because that was our song. The second the first few notes were played, I looked up instinctively—and there he was, Kosh, finally making his appearance.
He walked into his section slowly with a female in front of him, both his hands resting low against the small of her back while security and his homeboys instantly made room for him.
But despite all that?
His eyes locked directly onto mine immediately.
Damn.
He dapped his niggas up casually while still staring at me as the rest of the club disappeared around us. Yeahhh… this nigga definitely told the DJ to play this song to fuck with me.
Petty.
Fine. Bet.
My girls caught the shift in my energy immediately, and the second I stood up and walked toward the middle of the section, they followed right behind me without hesitation.
And together?
We put on a SHOW. All eyes instantly shifted toward our section while we danced to the beat like we had something to prove. Maybe we did.
The lights flashed across the room while my body moved naturally to the music, curls bouncing around my shoulders, liquor warming my chest, emotions buried underneath confidence and rhythm.
And through all of it?
Kosh and I never stopped looking at each other.
Not once.
Neither one of us broke the stare.
He watched every movement. Every sway of my hips. Every laugh. Every second, I pretended not to care, even though I felt every bit of it.
And honestly? Maybe we were both performing a little tonight. But it is what it is. Or maybe that was the point. Either way, the night had already said enough.