Rhyan
Tears kept sliding down my face while I drove through Dallas with blurry vision and a chest that felt too heavy to carry. Damn.I knew tonight was going to hurt. But not like this.
Not the kind of hurt that settles deep inside your ribs and just sits there quietly. I couldn’t even make it all the way home.
I ended up pulling into the coffee shop a few blocks down from Clovers to get myself together before I lost it. The parking lot was mostly empty, soft lights glowing through the windows while old R&B played faintly through the speakers outside.
I killed the engine and leaned my head back against the seat, finally letting myself breathe.
Or at least trying to. I flipped my mirror down and groaned softly.
Yeahhh. My makeup was done. Mascara smudged. Eyes swollen. Lip combo halfway gone.
A mess.
But honestly? It was cool. I reached inside my Goyard and dug around until I found my eye drops because Lord… my eyes were red as hell. I tilted my head back and squeezed a few drops in.
And the crazy part? I still fixed my lip combo afterward anyway. Like, somehow brown liner and gloss were gone, save me emotionally tonight.
Whew. That goodbye with Kosh hit harder than I was ready for. Because despite everything…A part of me really was grieving him. My phone started ringing suddenly, pulling me from my thoughts.
Serenity.
I answered immediately.
“Hey…” My voice still sounded shaky.
“Are you okay?” she asked softly.
Whew.
“I think so.”
“You think so?” she asked softly, concern threading through her voice. “Hold on, let me merge the girls in. We’ve been thinking about you.”
I laughed weakly through my tears.
“Cool…”
A few seconds later, Angelle and Missy joined the call too.
“Rhy, are you okay?” all three asked at once.
Lord.
That alone almost made me cry harder.
“I am,” I whispered softly.
And honestly? I was trying to be.
“We couldn’t leave the club without checking on you first,” Missy admitted.
Whew.
“I appreciate y’all so much.”
And I meant that deeply. Because tonight reminded me that heartbreak hurts less when women who love you stand beside you through it.
Serenity finally spoke again.
“We saw you pull inside the coffee shop. Come in.”
I looked up through my windshield toward the warm lights glowing inside the café.
Damn. Real friendship really does save people sometimes.
“I’m coming.”
I finally gathered myself together enough to get out of the car and head inside the coffee shop.
The warm smell of espresso and pastries hit me the second I walked through the door, wrapping around me like a warm embrace. Angelle, Serenity, and Missy were already sitting in a booth near the back, waiting for me.
The moment Angelle saw my face, her whole expression softened.
Whew.
I slid into the booth beside her, and instantly she wrapped her arms around me without saying a word. And honestly?
That hug almost broke me all over again.
A waitress walked over a few seconds later, balancing a tray with four cappuccinos and a slice of coffee cake big enough for all of us to share.
She slid everything onto the table, and Missy immediately grabbed the knife and started slicing the cake dramatically.
“What happened?” Angelle asked softly. “Because baby… the energy changed the second Kosh walked in with that girl.”
Whew.
“And his eyes stayed glued on you the whole night,” she added carefully.
I stared down at my cappuccino quietly for a second before finally speaking.
“We had that conversation.”
Silence.
“Wait…” Missy blinked hard. “He didn’t know?”
I shook my head slowly.
“He kind of knew,” I admitted softly. “But it hadn’t been confirmed yet.”
Damn.
“He came to see me about a month ago.”
All three of them exchanged looks instantly.
“I knew it was about to go down the second he stopped you from leaving the club,” Angelle muttered.
“Yep.” I sighed deeply. “I ain’t wanna have the conversation at Clovers, honestly.”
And I really didn’t.
“But earlier tonight I texted him, and he just read my message without responding.”
Petty ass.
“Then the second his people moved ol’ girl out of the section, he finally texted me back asking what we needed to talk about.”
Missy’s mouth dropped open dramatically.
“Ohhh, he was HOT.”
I laughed weakly through my exhaustion.
“So, I ignored him back…” I admitted quietly. “But he wasn’t going for it.”
Whew.
“He was really feeling you,” Missy said softly after a moment. “Honestly, I thought you were it for him.”
That one hit hard. Because maybe… In another life, I was.
“I was feeling him too,” I admitted quietly. “Like… for real.”
The table went quiet again.
“I love Kosh.”
Lord. Saying it out loud still hurt.
“When I went home to see about my husband, I genuinely wasn’t expecting us to reconcile.”
And that was the truth.
“My plan was to nurse him back to health, handle my responsibilities, and return to my life here.”
Dallas. Nursing. My condo. My girls. Kosh. Everything.
“I never expected us to find our way back to each other like this.”
Whew.
“These past few weeks have been pure chaos before the peace finally came.”
And somehow that was the perfect way to describe Chauncey and me.
Chaos first. Then clarity.
“And despite the choice I made…” I swallowed hard. “My heart still beats for Kosh too.”
Tears instantly filled my eyes again.
“Because he was good to me.”
And that mattered. A lot.
“Walking away tonight wasn’t easy.”
It felt like grieving a whole version of myself.
“But I had to.”
The girls listened quietly while I gathered myself enough to keep going.
“Because if I’m really gonna do this next lap with my husband…” I exhaled shakily. “I gotta be all in.”
And half-loving two men was never going to end well for anybody.
“I couldn’t string Kosh along.”
Whew.
“He deserves more than that from me.”
I had to blink my tears back again before they could start falling all over. Damn. Tonight has exhausted me in ways I wasn’t prepared for.
Angelle quietly slid a small stack of Kleenex across the table toward me while I dabbed carefully underneath my eyes, trying not to completely destroy what little makeup I had left.
“Dang, Rhy,” Serenity laughed softly, shaking her head. “You got all of us teary-eyed in this motherfucka like Kosh was our man.”
Whew.
That instantly made all of us laugh, finally breaking some of the heaviness hanging over the table.
“But nah,” Serenity added, pointing her spoon at me dramatically. “I’m serious, though. Chauncey better have his shit all the way together.”
“Okayyy!” Angelle chimed in immediately.
We all laughed again and slapped hands across the table like emotionally exhausted sisters surviving another life crisis together.
And honestly? That little moment right there healed something inside me.
“Honestly…” I exhaled softly. “I really do think he’s changed.”
Whew.
“It feels different this time around.”
And that was the part I couldn’t fully explain to anybody else. Because for the first time in years, Chauncey’s love no longer felt like chaos disguised as passion.
It felt intentional now. Softer. Safer. Realigned.
“I want y’all to meet him before I leave,” I added softly. “He is supposed to be here tomorrow.”
Missy’s eyes widened immediately.
“Oh yeahhh,” she laughed. “We definitely need to meet the man stealing our friend away from Dallas.”
“I got y’all.” I laughed softly.
And somehow… for the first time all night… the future didn’t feel as scary anymore. We finished our cappuccinos and coffee cake while making plans to link again before I officially moved back home.
By the time we hugged goodbye outside the coffee shop, I noticed something surprising: I felt lighter.
Still sad. Still grieving. Still emotionally drained. But lighter. Like, maybe honesty really does free people in the end.
I finally headed back home through the quiet Dallas streets, ready to shower, crawl into bed, and wait on Chauncey’s arrival before starting work again Sunday.
And somewhere between heartbreak and healing…
I started praying for brighter days ahead.