Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Gabe
“ S o fucking good,” Molly mumbles over the last bite of her pancakes.
She swallows and grins at me, looking around the brightly lit diner with a happy expression on her face.
“I love this place. I can’t believe I’ve never been here.”
I push my own plate away and lean forward, resting my elbows on the table. “I found it when I first got to the city two weeks ago. It’s a little tradition of mine. I’ve had to travel for work a bunch over the years, and no matter where I am, the first thing I do is hunt down a diner.”
Molly takes a sip of her chocolate milkshake and eyes me. I can see the wheels turning in her head, wondering about what I just told her. I wish she would just ask me. I want to tell her everything, but so far tonight has been a lot of small talk when what I want is big talk. Enormous talk. Flay myself open and tell her all my truths and make her tell me all of hers talk. But as eager as I am to get her back in every way imaginable, I know that is absolutely the wrong move. Slow is the way to go here. But that doesn’t mean I can’t give it a little push.
I reach over, gliding a finger over the back of her hand, and relish in the little shiver I see run through her at my touch.
“Ask me a question, Rory.”
“What?”
“Ask me something. Anything. Big or small. There is so much I want to tell you, and so much I want to know. I figure the best way to start getting to know each other again is for you to ask me a question. And then I get to ask you one. A question for a question.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “What if I ask you something you don’t want to answer?”
“You won’t.”
“I might.”
This time, when I reach over, I lay my hand on hers. When she flips her hand over and links our fingers together, butterflies swarm my stomach. I have this outsized reaction to every bit of affection she shows me. She could have kicked me out of her office that first day and never talked to me again. I would have deserved it. She could have bailed after the first restaurant was a disaster. The fact that she didn’t, that she’s sitting here with me in a cracked plastic booth in her pretty pink dress, smiling at me and eating chocolate chip pancakes like almost no time has passed, makes me absurdly grateful.
“I promise there is nothing you could ask me that I won’t answer. I want to tell you everything, and I want to know everything about you.”
She stiffens, just a little. “What if you ask me a question I don’t want to answer?”
I glide my thumb over her palm, and she relaxes back against the booth.
“You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready to tell me. I hope one day you’ll want to tell me everything, but that’s your decision to make. I came here for you, Rory. I want you. In ten years, there has never been a single day that I haven’t wanted you. But we go at your pace. You’re in charge. If I ask you something you don’t want to answer, you can ask me a bonus question.”
She nods, seemingly satisfied, and gives me a sly grin. “I do love being in charge.”
I chuckle, enjoying her so much. “I know how you do. So, take charge. Ask me a question.”
She thinks for a second and then asks, “Why do you look for a diner in every city you go to?”
I wait until her eyes are on mine before I answer. “Because diners remind me of you. We spent half of college eating chocolate chip pancakes in diners, and it was my little way of taking you with me, no matter where I went.”
Molly opens her mouth and then seems to change her mind and closes it; then she does it again, shaking her head and huffing out a little breath. It’s unlike her not to say exactly what’s on her mind, so I’m instantly curious.
“Just say it,” I tell her.
“Say what?”
“Whatever it is you’re trying to decide if you should say.”
She shakes her head again. “It’s not fair.”
“That doesn’t matter. I said you could ask me anything, and you can. You can also tell me anything. None of this will work if we’re not honest with each other. So, be honest with me, Rory.”
She blows out a breath. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’re still the only person in the world who can make me do something I don’t really want to do.”
I shrug, trying to mask how happy that makes me. “It’s a gift. So, what is it?”
In a move that is also very unlike her, Molly fixes her gaze on the table when she speaks. “I was going to say, if you hadn’t forced me out of your life, you could have actually had me with you when you went looking for diners in different cities instead of going to find diners to remind yourself of me.”
It should hurt, but it doesn’t. Instead, I feel a gust of relief that this is what she’s thinking. Because all I want is to get on my damn knees and tell her that I’ll do whatever I can to fix what I broke, but I can’t do that unless we’re talking about it.
“Look at me, Rory.”
She shakes her head and presses her lips together. I reach across the table with my free hand and tip her chin up so her eyes meet mine.
“Don’t ever be afraid to tell me what’s in your head. I said I want to know everything, and I mean it. And you’re right.”
Molly sighs, but her steady gaze holds mine. “Talking around it seems useless, so we might as well just get to it. I know I’m right. I’m always right. But it doesn’t feel fair of me to think that. It never has. You were twenty-two, Gabe, and your entire world collapsed. You had to bury your parents and deal with all the logistics of death, and you also had to be a pseudo-parent to your sisters when you were just barely an adult yourself. I loved you. God, I loved you so much, and I know you loved me too. We loved each other more than was probably reasonable. But we were too young to handle what life threw at us, and that love, enormous as it was, couldn’t sustain us through it. It wasn’t your fault, and it wasn’t mine. It was bad luck and bad timing. No one is to blame.”
It’s strangely healing, listening to her dissect what happened between us in that clear-eyed, level-headed way of hers. And it’s a weird sort of relief to hear that she hasn’t been blaming me all these years. But still…
“I blame myself,” I tell her. “I’ve blamed myself since the second you walked out of my house. I wanted to get in touch with you a million times in a million different ways between then and now. At first, my grief was too huge to be able to do anything except try and put one foot in front of the other so I could be there for my sisters. And then, once I came out of that haze of grief and my sisters and I were mostly functional again, it didn’t seem fair to get in touch with you. By then, I had started my company, and I was tied to California because that’s where Ames and Liv were. I would never have uprooted them after they had been through so much. But it also wouldn’t have been fair to ask you to uproot your whole life to come to me. You were in law school by then and you were building your own life. I never would have asked you to give it up for me after how badly I hurt you.”
Molly gives my hand a squeeze. “For what it’s worth, if you had called me while I was in law school and told me to come to you, I would have. I would have chucked it all and flown to California and helped you raise your sisters, and we could have gone traveling together and found a diner in every city, just like you said you did. But it would have been the wrong decision for me. Law school is where I met Hallie, Julie, and Emma. I was broken, and they brought me back to life. They became my family, and I can’t imagine my life without them. Then we built our firm, and I’m so proud of what we’re doing. I love my life here with them, with Allie and the guys, and Julie and Ben’s parents who are kind of like everyone’s parents now. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about you all the time. I missed you too.”
I feel emotion tightening my throat, and I let go of one of Molly’s hands to scrub a hand over my face, trying to pinpoint the source of my feelings. When I scrape everything else away, I think what I’m left with is awe. I’m in awe of Molly and the life she has here. What she’s built, the family she’s made, all of it. And I’m so grateful for her brilliant, analytical mind and the fact that she’s willing to sit here with me after all the years that stretched between us and talk about this. I think talking to her is what I missed the most.
I give her a wry grin. “Thank you for not hating me.”
She grins back at me. “Oh, I did for a while. You’re not the only one who’s had their fair share of therapy. So, it’s your turn now. Ask me a question, Gabe.”
I consider what to ask her. We could keep going, dissect all our feelings about the last ten years and how it all ended. I think we’re both vulnerable enough for it. But for the first time since I saw Molly ten days ago, I don’t feel any sense of urgency for it. What she’s given me tonight is more than I thought she would give me, and there’s time enough for the rest. But there is one thing I’ve been curious about.
“Do you still dance?”
Molly makes a face and shakes her head. “Pass. I don’t want to talk about that, but I’ll pretend you didn’t ask it and give you another shot. I won’t even demand my extra question. I’m magnanimous like that.”
She smirks at me, and I’m curious as fuck, but I decide to let it go. She’s given me enough of herself tonight.
“What made you choose law school?”
Molly smiles a little. “That, I’ll tell you, but it’s going to sound really stupid, and far less well-adjusted than I am now. Just keep in mind that I chose law school before I discovered therapy.”
I chuckle a little. “Noted.”
“After I left you, the thing I couldn’t stop thinking about was your parents’ estates. How complicated it all was and how I couldn’t help you. I was so frustrated because I have a genius IQ and a photographic memory, but the intricacies of transfer tax law and the California probate system eluded me. After stewing over it for months, I got it into my head that if I had been able to help you with it, you wouldn’t have asked me to leave. I knew I couldn’t go back in time, but I wanted to learn it anyway, so I did. And like I said, law school was where I met my best friends in the world, so even though my reason for going was a little stupid, I’ll never be sorry for it.”
“My parents’ estates were a clusterfuck. I would have hired you in a heartbeat.”
She scoffs. “Well, obviously. I’m the best.”
I have literally no doubt about that. She’s the best at everything she does, and I’m so fucking proud of her and everything she’s done with her life. I loved her when we were younger; I have no doubt about that. But sitting here, listening to her talk, makes me certain that the way I could love the grown-up version of Molly will make how I felt back then seem like puppy love. And I need to slow my roll because everything I have ever wanted is sitting right in front of me, and I’ll be damned if I fuck this up.
“It’s your turn again. Ask me a question.”
She asks immediately as if she had this one queued up. “Is the name of your phone an homage to me?”
“It’s an homage to us , Rory. All our most important moments happened by our tree. I wanted to memorialize that.”
“By naming a phone after it?”
I shrug. “It was what I had. Inventing the phone brought me back to life the way your friends did for you. That’s why it happened so fast. I worked basically around the clock for more than a year on it, and the stars aligned perfectly. All the tech worked seamlessly, and we never had any real issues in development. It was the first good thing that had happened to me since my parents died, and it felt wrong for you not to be a part of it. Giving it that name kind of made me feel like you were. You’re brilliant, Rory. I knew you would understand the name as soon as you heard it, and that gave me an odd sort of comfort. Like you would know I was thinking about you, even over time and distance and everything that was so fucked between us.”
“I knew it,” she mutters, but she’s smiling.
Thinking of our tree makes me think of the trip I need to make to San Francisco next month, and suddenly the idea of going without her is untenable. I wonder if it’s fair of me to ask her, but I decide to shoot my shot. “Can I ask my question now?”
“Go for it,” she says, sucking up the last of her milkshake.
Don’t focus on the way her lips look wrapped around the straw.
Don’t think about her lips wrapped around your dick.
Don’t you do it, Gabe.
Get your head out of the gutter.
Be an adult.
It’s no use. I shift in my seat as my cock thickens behind my zipper. I think I’m discreet about it, but Molly and her genius IQ miss nothing. She gives me a wicked grin and wraps her lips around her straw again, sucking hard.
“Oh, my fucking god,” I mutter.
Molly throws her head back and laughs. “Still got it,” she says, miming dusting off her shoulder.
“You sure do, Rory baby. You sure do.”
“I think you had a question for me.”
I clear my throat, shifting in my seat again, willing my dick to behave. “I did. I have a trip planned to San Francisco soon. I donated a building to the Berkeley campus in memory of my parents, and the dedication is in a few weeks.”
“You donated a whole building?”
“I mean, it would have been weird to just donate part of one.”
Molly gives a low whistle. “I sometimes forget you’re a billionaire now. You’re so…you.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“It is. In my field you learn pretty quickly that money changes people, and not usually for the better. But it doesn’t seem to have changed you one single bit. I like that.”
It means more to me than she could possibly understand that she thinks that.
“So, is there any chance you would consider coming with me? The whole world thinks we’re engaged, so I think people would probably expect my fiancée to be there with me.”
Molly studies me. “Is that the only reason you want me to come with you? Because of what you think people expect?”
I blow out a breath. “No. I don’t give one single fuck what people think. I want you to come because I want you there with me. I know I’ve only been back in your life for a couple of weeks, and it’s a big ask, but having you there would be really special. Just as a heads up, my sisters will be there too, so if that’s too much for you when we’re still just figuring each other out, I totally understand. I don’t want to put any pressure on you or on us or make you think I’m trying to?—”
“I’ll come.” Molly’s matter-of-fact response cuts off my rambling.
I feel my grin spread across my face. “Seriously?”
She shrugs. “Why not? It’ll be fun to see your sisters, and I love to travel. I know I said your money didn’t change you, and that’s a good thing, but I wouldn’t mind if it changed you just a tiny bit when it comes to traveling because I bet you can really travel in style.”
I think about the private jet I still have access to as a board member of my company and make a mental note to reserve it for the trip. If it’s style Molly wants, it’s style she’s fucking getting.
“Rory, you really have no idea.”
She points at me. “But I want my own room. I may be coming with you, but don’t make it into a whole thing.”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
That ship has completely sailed. We’re going away together, so in my head, it’s already a whole thing.
“Then fine. Take me to San Francisco.”
“I would love nothing more.”
“Can you text me the dates so I can put them on the shared calendar I have with the girls for work? Julie gets irritable if we don’t keep it updated.”
“I’d be happy to, but I don’t have your number.”
Molly stares at me. “You own a company that literally manufactures phones. I just assumed you would be able to get anyone’s phone number you want.”
“I guess I probably could, but I think federal regulators would frown on me violating users’ privacy for my own purposes. Besides, you don’t have the Redwood.”
She holds her hand out for my phone, and I hand it to her. She inputs her number and then texts herself. I grin at her.
“What?”
“You wanted my number, too, didn’t you?”
“It’s only logical.” Molly hands her phone back to me, and I smile even wider when I see she saved herself in my phone as Rory . For some reason, this makes me unreasonably happy. I slip the phone into my pocket and look up at her.
“You ready to go, fiancée?”
“You’re seriously going to call me that?”
I stand and hold out a hand for her. “I like the way it sounds. If I have to be fake fiancés with anyone, I’m glad it’s you.”
She studies me for a second and then puts her hand in mine.
“I’m glad it’s you too.”